Attack of the Ninja Frogs

by Ursula Vernon

  Table of Contents

  Copyright Page

  Title Page

  KUNG FU DREAMS

  NERDS IN LOVE

  A LONG DAY

  THE BATHROOM WALL

  WEBBED WARRIORS

  TO THE BUS!

  NINJA QUEEN

  NICE BIRDIE

  HELLO, GECKO

  NINJA BAIT

  THE FROG-FATHER

  HOT LAVA

  OUT OF THE BAMBOO

  BACK TO SCHOOL

  SO LONG FAREWELL

  This one’s for Mom, who believed in me even when there was no supporting evidence

  DIAL BOOKS

  An imprint of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

  Published by The Penguin Group • Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, NY 10014, U.S.A. • Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4P 2Y3 (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) • Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England • Penguin Ireland, 25 St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd) • Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd) • Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi - 110 017, India • Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd) • Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa •Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  Copyright © 2010 by Ursula Vernon

  All rights reserved

  The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume

  any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

  Text set in Stempel Schneidler

  S.A.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Vernon, Ursula.

  Dragonbreath: attack of the ninja frogs / by Ursula Vernon.

  p. cm.

  Summary: When Suki the salamander—the new foreign exchange student—is being stalked by ninja frogs, Danny, Wendell the iguana, and Suki travel to Great-Grandfather Dragonbreath’s home in mythical Japan to find a solution to the problem.

  eISBN : 978-1-101-53707-7

  [1. Ninja—Fiction. 2. Dragons—Fiction. 3. Reptiles—Fiction. 4. Amphibians—Fiction. 5. Friendship—Fiction. 6. Japan—Fiction] I. Title.

  PZ7.V5985Drd 2010

  [Fic]—dc22

  2009012273

  http://us.penguingroup.com

  KUNG FU DREAMS

  Danny Dragonbreath tried to remember what he had been thinking about, and couldn’t. Something about samurai, and cliff tops, and snapping banners, like in Swords of Izumo, which had been on last night. He tried to sink back into his daydream, but it was long gone.

  Danny sighed. Pepperoni pizza was a good thing—possibly even a great thing—but not as awesome as kung fu movies. Hardly anything was.

  Still, he couldn’t be too upset. Seven Fists of Carnage was going to be on tonight. He hoped it was as good as his all-time favorite, Vengeance of the Thirteen Masters, in which a blind salamander samurai fights off thirteen ninja clans, using only a pair of chopsticks.

  Danny passed the time until the pizza arrived by drawing ninjas. Drawing ninjas was difficult because you couldn’t really see a ninja. So the drawings mostly consisted of places where ninjas might be hiding.

  “Danny! Pizza!”

  Danny hurried down the stairs. Halfway down, he paused to do a kung fu move from Thirteen Masters, nearly tripped over his own tail, and went down the rest of the stairs a bit faster than he’d planned.

  “Furious Crane Falls From Above!”

  Mr. Dragonbreath paused, pizza boxes in hand. “Is that what kids are calling pizza these days? ”

  Danny slid into his chair. “No, Dad. I was just practicing my kung fu moves.”

  Mr. Dragonbreath chose to let this pass. Danny loaded his plate with pizza.

  “Mom, Dad, can I eat in the living room? Seven Fists of Carnage is going to be on!”

  “I’m not sure if all these violent movies are good for you . . .” Mr. Dragonbreath said.

  “Daaaaaaad! C’mon!”

  “A compelling argument,” said Danny’s mom.

  “But no eating in the living room. You always get tomato sauce on the rug.”

  Danny began wolfing the slices down as quickly as possible.

  “Try to breathe between bites,” said his father dryly.

  “Mmmmghff!”

  Danny washed his third slice down with soda, and stifled a belch. “ThankyouthatwasgreatmayIbeexcused?” he rattled off.

  “What’s so great about Six Fangs of Cabbage?” asked his father.

  “Seven Fists of Carnage!” Danny waved his hands in the air. “Sheesh, Dad! Now can I pleeeeease be excused? ”

  “Yes, yes, go on . . .” Mr. Dragonbreath waved him off. Danny sprinted for the living room.

  “Three slices in twenty-six seconds,” said his mother. “New record.”

  “He takes after your side of the family, you know,” said Danny’s father mournfully, and helped himself to another slice of pizza.

  NERDS IN LOVE

  Danny jogged toward the bus stop. If he missed the bus, he’d have to go back and get his father to drive him to school. And then he would have to listen to ten minutes of why he could breathe fire if he just applied himself.

  Besides, he’d hate to miss Wendell. Danny had to know what his best friend thought of Seven Fists of Carnage. There was this one bit where the gecko hero had fought off the hordes of chameleon ninjas, while sticking upside down to the ceiling and holding a dagger in his tongue.

  Danny rounded the corner and realized abruptly that Wendell had other things on his mind.

  Wendell was talking to a girl.

  Not just enforced in-class talking either—not “Can I borrow your notes? ” or “Do you know the answer to number # 17?” Actual talking, like you would with your friends.

  It was unprecedented!

  It was madness!

  It was just begging for cooties!

  As the dragon watched, mildly aghast, Wendell pulled a book out of his backpack and handed it to the girl in question.

  Danny approached slowly. Now that he was closer, he recognized the girl as Suki the salamander, an exchange student from somewhere or other in Japan.

  Well, she was smart, like Wendell. Maybe they were talking about . . . whatever nerds talked about . . . science or standardized tests or something.

  “The Stone of Tears!” he then heard Suki say. “Thank you so much, Wendell!” Suki hugged the book to her chest. “I’ll get it back to you soon.”

  “Oh . . . well . . . I . . . uh . . . take your time . . .” Wendell was having trouble making eye contact suddenly, and his words seemed to have dried up. “I mean . . . there’s no . . . Oh, hey, Danny.”

  “Hey, Wendell,” said Danny. “Hey . . . um . . . Suki.”

  “Hi, Danny.” She bobbed her head.

  An awkward silence fell.

  Danny, who had previously thought that talking to a girl was bad, rapidly discovered that not talking to a girl was much worse. What did girls talk about? Ponies or unicorns or . . .

  “So, um . . . do you like ... err . . . unicorns?” Danny felt like he was wading through molasses.

  Suki stared at him, tilting her head to one side as if he were an interesting bug. “I’ve never met one,” she said finally. “Given that they’re imaginary and all.”

  “Oh.” Danny had met one once—she’d come to his second cousin’s wedding and had a trained helper monkey that f
ed her canapés.

  But this seemed like a lot of work to explain.

  “Er,” Danny said instead. “Cool.”

  Wendell seemed to have shut down completely. Danny elbowed him to make sure he hadn’t died standing up.

  Wendell grunted. “Um. It’s . . . um . . . nice weather we’re having. . . .”

  Danny and Suki looked up. It was gray and rather overcast. Wendell hunched his shoulders, looking more like a turtle than an iguana.

  Fortunately, before anybody was forced to make any more conversation, the bus pulled up.

  It occurred to Danny, quite horribly, that Suki might want to sit with Wendell on the bus. And if Wendell and Suki sat together, then Danny would have to sit somewhere else. Alone.

  No, no. That was crazy. His best friend would never abandon him for a girl.

  Fortunately, Wendell showed no sign of wanting to sit anywhere other than their usual seats, and Suki was already sprawled out in her own seat, deep into a book.

  Danny and Wendell sat down. Wendell appeared very interested in something on the other side of the window, possibly waiting for the “nice weather” to arrive. Danny wasn’t letting go that easily.

  “So, is that your girlfriend? ”

  “No!” Wendell glared at him, shoving his glasses up higher on his nose. “I was just loaning her a comic book.”

  “A comic book? ” Danny rolled his eyes. “I didn’t know you read girl comics. What was it, Lizard Sparkle Princess or something? ”

  “It was Empire of Feathers,” said Wendell with dignity.

  Danny paused. He had to admit, Empire of Feathers was actually quite respectable reading. It was about an alternate universe where birds ruled the world. It was dark and gritty and had lots of battle scenes and intrigue and poisonings and magic, and a clan of rooster assassins that wore cloaks made of their victim’s feathers.

  “She reads Empire of Feathers?”

  “It never came out in Japan, so she couldn’t get it over there, and she really wanted to read it. You would have done the same thing.”

  “She reads Arm of the Yakuza too, and she wants to be a veterinarian,” Wendell added proudly.

  “Don’t most of the girls in our class want to be veterinarians?” asked Danny. “At Career Day there were like ten veterinarians, two nurses, and Christiana Vanderpool wanted to be a brain surgeon. What is it with girls and medical professions?”

  “Well . . . maybe . . .” Wendell vividly remembered Christiana’s presentation, which had involved a sheep’s brain she’d brought from home. “But Suki really could. She’s totally smart.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” muttered Danny, kicking the seat in front of him. “Nerds in love. I get it.”

  Danny grinned. “Uh-huh. You’re doomed.”

  Wendell lifted his snout and pointedly ignored his friend until the bus pulled up to the front of the school.

  They were climbing up the steps when Wendell asked, very quietly, “Do you think she’d like chocolates? ”

  Danny sighed. “Completely doomed.”

  A LONG DAY

  The first half of the school day passed in the usual fashion—slowly and with homework. Danny slouched down in his seat and stared at the clock.

  In the back of the classroom, Big Eddy the Komodo dragon was eating an eraser. (He did this at least once a week, forgetting it wasn’t bubble gum.)

  Danny looked out the window.

  If ninjas were going to come in—and why ninjas would want to invade Mr. Snaug’s science class was anybody’s guess, unless ninjas had some kind of aversion to geology—they’d probably slide down from the roof on ropes. Then they’d smash through the windows, glass raining everywhere. Big Eddy would try to hit one, and they’d knock him down with one of those amazing one-fingered finishing moves. Then Danny would have to stand up, surrounded by broken glass and scattered homework, and he would show them Drunken Crane Style and all the ninjas would pull back, realizing that they were facing a true kung fu master and—

  “Mister Dragonbreath,”said Mr. Snaug. Danny jerked guiltily back to reality.

  “Um . . .”

  “Do you know the answer to the question?” Mr. Snaug was a long-tailed gecko, and sometimes if he caught you not paying attention, he’d smack his tail down on the desk in front of you and make you jump a foot in the air.

  “Uhhhh. . . .” Danny looked frantically at Wendell. Wendell put his head in his hands, an indication that the answer was too complicated to try and express in mime. What had Mr. Snaug been talking about? Plate tectonics—something about continents or rocks or something—

  “Hot lava? ” he tried hopefully.

  Mr. Snaug rubbed a hand over his face, looking rather like Wendell for a moment. “Danny, are you telling me that the theory of continental drift was first proposed by . . . hot lava? ”

  The other students giggled. Danny flushed bronze and slid farther down in his chair.

  “Anyone?” Mr. Snaug looked around the room.

  Wendell put his hand up. Mr. Snaug rolled his eyes. “I know YOU know, Wendell. Anyone else? Suki? ”

  “The theory of continental drift was proposed by Alfred Wegener,” said Suki, and cast an apologetic glance over at Danny.

  Wendell put his hand down and gazed admiringly at Suki. Danny’s mild embarrassment was replaced with mild nausea.

  “Very good,” said Mr. Snaug. “Now, class, if you’ll open to page seventy-nine, you’ll see that Wegener’s theory was not met with immediate acceptance . . .”

  The room filled with the rustle of paper. Danny grabbed for his fleeting daydream of being a kung fu master, but all he could think of was hot lava. He sighed.

  Oh well. It wasn’t realistic anyway. Ninjas were sneaky. They probably wouldn’t smash through the window. They’d climb into the vents and blow poisoned black lotus pollen down into the classroom, and Mr. Snaug would fall asleep and—“Mister Dragonbreath, are you paying attention?” “Yes, Mr. Snaug,” said Danny glumly, and resigned himself to the grip of education.

  THE BATHROOM WALL

  “Plate tectonics,” said Danny bitterly as he left the lunch line with a tray full of corn dogs. “When are we ever going to use THAT? ”

  Wendell met him, holding his sack lunch. “Well, if you ever wanted to be a scientist . . . or a science teacher . . .” He trailed off. Wendell had a pretty good imagination, but there were limits.

  “I’m going to be a kung fu master,” said Danny.

  “Subduction Zone Strikes From Below!” said Wendell, and snickered.

  Danny waited for this example of nerd humor to pass. “Where should we sit? ”

  They surveyed the cafeteria.

  “There’s some open seats over there—”

  “Big Eddy,” said Danny, jerking his head in that direction. Wendell grimaced.

  Big Eddy the Komodo dragon was the class bully. He was huge. He wore T-shirts bigger than Mr. Snaug’s, and he had never forgiven Danny for an incident with some very angry potato salad earlier in the year.

  “I think there’s an open table over there,” said Wendell, pointing in the other direction.

  “I wish we didn’t always have to worry about Big Eddy,” Danny grumbled. Hiding from the school bully was not terribly kung-fu-master-worthy behavior.

  “Well, he is your nemesis.”

  “He is? ” Danny had only seen the word in comic books before. Trust Wendell to use it in actual conversation.

  “Sure.”

  “Neat!”

  “She’s an exchange student, she doesn’t know most of the other girls,” Wendell said.

  “But she’s a girl!”

  “So? ”

  Danny grabbed his friend’s shoulder. Wendell seemed to be missing the key point. “Wendell, listen to me! She’s a girl !”

  “Fine,” hissed Wendell. “Name one good reason we shouldn’t eat with a girl!”

  Danny paused, mouth open. “Cooties.”

  “Cooties,” said Wendell grimly. He
shoved his glasses up his snout. “Listen carefully to me. There is no such thing as cooties. What are you, five?”

  Danny took a large bite of corn dog to give himself time to think. No such thing as cooties? Wendell was pretty good about knowing what existed, but then again, he was obviously dangerously insane at the moment, and it was up to Danny to provide the voice of reason.*

  “There are totally cooties,” he said.

  “There are not.”

  “They’re not real. They’re imaginary. They’re a myth.”

  “A myth!” Danny gestured with his corn dog, nearly taking Wendell’s nose off. “Like dragons are a myth? ”

  “Uh—”

  Wendell shuddered. He still had occasional nightmares about the crushing tentacles of the giant squid from his underwater trip with Danny.

  Before he could marshal any more arguments, Suki came through one of the doors. She was walking very fast with her head down.

  Unfortunately she walked right into Big Eddy.

  “Uh-oh,” said Wendell.

  Without quite knowing how it happened, Wendell found himself jumping to his feet. Vague notions of heroism entered his mind, and then paused, confused by their surroundings.

  The Komodo dragon, never quick to react, blinked down at the little salamander. She barely came up to his stomach. Suki stared up the length of Big Eddy’s pizza-stained T-shirt at him.

  “Sorry,” she mumbled, turning away.

  Big Eddy’s forehead furrowed into a frown. “Did you just run into me, squirt? ”

  Wendell began trying to make his way down the aisle. Danny, realizing that Wendell was about to do something profoundly stupid, hurried after him. (He wasn’t quite clear on whether he was going to stop Wendell doing something stupid, or help him do something stupid, but after all, that’s what friends are for.)