Smoke and Mirrors (Smoke and Mirrors Series Book 1)

by S. N. Nair

  My poor sister, she died the day she found out she was carrying her first child after years of trying for one, she bounded into my room glowing as she gushed about the future that was stolen from her.

  The only person I feel no guilt or anger for is Ryder, the only good to come from this miscalculation was that I finally knew his true colours and the true face that lay behind the mask he showed to us for years. I could not even fathom what my sister suffered under his hands, how she managed to live with him and let him touch her. He deserved what he received.

  Before I realised it, the tears that I had become familiar with started to flow down my cheeks as thought about how everything in my life was truly a lie, even the fairy tale I was told was my life was a lie. I could think of nothing except the things I lost, the possible future I could have had, the possible future that any of those who died would have had. It seemed almost laughable that the lives and futures of so many hopeful individuals could just be taken just because of a miscalculation by two overconfident Goddesses who decided that we lower beings were nothing but their personal dolls and that they were the ones who could decide our story, our fate.

  I felt the bonds that held me tight start to slacken but before I could even lunge at the Moon Goddess, her arms enveloped me in a hug, my arms pinned stiff to my side as she buried her face in the crook of my neck. I felt her body shake and tremble as her tears formed a trail down the curve of my neck before staining my top.

  “I am so sorry, Sapphire. I should have stopped my sister, I should have helped you sooner, I am so sorry.”

  I could barely make out the words she was saying as the sobs wracked through her body, her voice trembling with each word she said. My arms remained stiff at my side, but I felt a lump form in my throat the more she sobbed and soon my lips began to tremble as tears of my own flowed down my face and down the curve of my neck, mixing with hers as they darkened my clothes. The pain in my chest resonated through my entire body, the wound in my heart that was left after my family passed slowly mended after the news of my ‘past’ as it gave me the slight closure I needed to move on and accept reality but right now, it felt as though someone had ripped open the wound, stitch by stitch.

  The first stitch was ripped after I was told that my family need not have died. The second stitch was ripped after I was told that the torture I had suffered through at the hands of that monster was all for nothing, I thought my silence at his torture would at least give my family some vengeance. Every other stitch that was left was ripped out with every possibly happy future I could have had. It seemed ironic now to think about how the bindings that I wanted to escape so badly were the only things holding me together, the only things keeping me from falling apart.

  I should have felt the anger course through my veins as it did earlier but in actual fact, I felt nothing except for the ache in my chest. My grief had surpassed even the levels of raging and screaming that there was nothing left inside me, even my tears stopped their flow as there was simply no more tears left for me to shed and nothing for me to shed them for anymore. What else had I had to lose? I had no more family, no mate, no future, everything that I had and held close had been taken from me.

  Even as a child I did not coddle myself and make finding my perfect mate the main focus in my life, I had always hoped that one day I would find the right man who would be proud of my achievements, not disgusted like most of the men in my pack were, who would proudly boast about my title and not be jealous of it, who would simply love me for me, flaws and all.

  Children. I had always wanted children, I had always been adamant that I wanted two, one boy and one girl. I had envisioned that they would share my copper skin, I always imagined one of them inheriting my curls and I would soon face the terror that my sister and father did of trying to tame it. I imagined how training them would be, I would not have minded if they did not want to take my position in the future but I imagined training them so no one would ever call them weak, like they called me.

  I took deep breaths as I calmed myself, what was lost was lost, no amount of raging or crying would bring them back. I had to move one no matter how hard it would be, I have to move on, I had always wanted to create my own fate and now was the time to put my words into action.

  “Let me go.”

  This time I did not shout at her, I did not hurl expletives at her, I just spoke. My voice sounded tired because I was, I, after all, had just hit with a trainload of information. The Moon Goddess let out one last sob before taking a step backwards, refusing to look at my eyes.

  “Pull yourself together and tell me how I can fix things or at least change them. You owe me that at the very least.”

  The Moon Goddess gave me a small smile before extending her hand, a small vial sat in the palm of it. I quirked an eyebrow at her as I saw that it was empty, I hope that she was actually going to do something and not use the empty vial as an instrument to lecture on the power of love or what not. Her smile widened as she spoke again.

  “Before I give you the contents of what is supposed to fill this vial, I want you to be absolutely sure of the decision you are going to make right now as once you consume the contents of this vial your bond with Damien will be shattered forever. You will not even feel an inkling of longing towards him although I cannot say the same for him. This will help you regain the power you lost to him, but it is possible that remnants of your power would still remain in him.”

  Without a doubt in my mind I nodded my head, I had never been so sure of a decision in my life, I wanted to be free of him forever and I wanted back the power he stole.

  “Set me free and return my power to me.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six: Broken Chains

  Sapphire Nightborne

  She acknowledged my nod before waving her hand causing a stalk of honeysuckle (represent bonds of love) to grow high enough for her to pluck some of its petals. They withered the second her hands touched them, she crushed them with her fist before letting the blackened petals fall into the vial. Another wave of her hand caused a lotus flower (self-regeneration, rebirth) to spring up before plucking a few petals and letting them fall to join the others. I watched in amazement as she caused several flowers and plants to just sprout from the earth. Silvers of an Oak’s bark (strength), sprigs of Thyme (courage), petals of Black-eyed Susan (justice), leaves of Dill (power over evil) as well as others that I did not know the name of.

  The vial was now almost filled to the brim with different types of flora but I failed to see how they would help me. The Moon Goddess smiled at me as if reading my thoughts before she elongated the nail of her thumb, pricking the pad of her index finger allowing several drops of her blood to slowly drip into the vial. My eyes widened as smoke started to come from the contents of the vial, they widened even more as her blood seemed to liquefy the contents of the vial till just a steaming mixture of black liquid was left. Soundlessly she handed me the vial, I took it with caution almost gagging at the smell it gave off.

  “What is this?”

  My ears focused on her heart rate, I wanted to make sure that whatever this vile mix would help me break the chains that bound me to Damien. There was still an air of mistrust between the Moon Goddess and me, I could not handle anymore of her mistakes.

  “A concoction that was created when the first mate bond failed. I could not bear to let them suffer so I created this--"

  "But you could stand aside and watch so many people suffer because of a single mate bond that went wrong."

  Sh hung her head and sighed. I was tired of all her talk of being a caring All-Mother, mothers do not bring suffering onto their children... at least the good ones don't. She cast a pleading look in my direction, begging me to let her continue in peace.

  "As wolves, we are one with Nature, every plant was created with a purpose and so we use them to our advantage. For centuries I allowed my children to freely use this concoction to break the bonds I set for them as I believed that they would only use this in dire
situations, but they proved me wrong. So I decided to destroy every shred of its instructions as well as add an ingredient that is impossible to attain without me knowing: My blood. I have the power to create the bonds you have, I have the ability to break them.”

  I swirled the contents of the vial, smoke still emitted from it as well as a soft hiss. The mixture continued to bubble with the consistency of tar. Taking deep breaths, I had to prepare myself to swallow this horrendous concoction.

  “I just have to drink this and all this would return to how it was like this whole thing is one big nightmare.”

  Even as the words left my mouth I knew that nothing would ever be the same as it once was, but I could hope. I wanted this all to go away, I wanted to wake up to my Generals laughing in the common room. I wanted to eat Lia's cooking even though it looked less appealing than this mixture. I wanted to hold Antony in my arms and tell him that I would always be there again. I wanted to see the dead eyes of my pack filled with life again... I just wanted to go home.

  “I know you are hurting, but even I cannot bring the dead back to life.”

  I swallowed hard to bite back tears. What made me so different that she would break the rules for me and not everyone else who deserved it more?

  “But…”

  “Your human side might have passed but your wolf was still fighting for you to live, you envisioned her because you still had the will, no matter how small, to live. Most of your pack did not have the will you had after suffering such a horrendous death, even those who I met in limbo chose to move on.”

  “My sister--”

  “I am sorry Sapphire, but even I cannot detect her soul, and believe it I tried. Some people do pass so brutally that they never choose to leave the living, they condemn themselves to live among the living for the rest of eternity, staying so close but will never rejoin the other side.”

  I nodded, Lia had always been afraid of death, so it would make sense if she chose to stay among the living. That was one of the reasons why she was not chosen to take over our father's position. The Elders wanted someone that would put their life down, without hesitation, for the survival of the pack. Her fear made her look weak in their eyes, so that chose me... someone who was so desperate to prove her worth that she didn't care about dying if it would get her the acceptance she craved. I took one last look at the vial before bringing it up to my lips. I was about to tip its contents into my mouth before I was interrupted.

  “I must warn you that what you will experience after drinking this concoction would be like nothing you ever felt before.”

  I smirked as I thought about all the pain I felt when my family died and when I was tortured by all those people. The coming pain was just another obstacle I had to grit my teeth and overcome, the pain would pass just like everything else.

  “Not even that pain compares with what you are about to feel.”

  I truly doubted that. I swallowed the lump in my throat before downing the entire vial, the pain I would feel would all be worth it. If it would set me free, any pain would be worth it.

  Boy, was she right.

  The liquid burned my throat raw as I swallowed it, I hunched over as the burning began to spread, it felt as though lava ran through my veins instead of blood. I crossed my arms over my chest as it felt as though someone had punched a hole in my chest and was trying to pull my heart out. My knees gave out and I fell to the ground on all fours. I kept retching as the liquid clung to my throat. The world beneath began to blur as tears welled in my eyes.

  “Good luck, Child.”

  That was the last thing I heard before I blacked out.

  If I had thought my life was a nightmare before, I was wrong. The fire continued to spread through my body, it felt as though someone had thrown me into an open fire. I could almost feel the flames licking against my skin, but yet all I could see was darkness. I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound left my lips it was almost as if I was trapped in my own pain forever. The pain continued to pass for what seemed like an eternity before it stopped and when I opened my eyes I was finally back where I was.

  My hand was still raised as I straddled Damien, but this time I felt stronger than ever. The fire still surged through my veins, but this time it did not hurt like it did before, in fact, it gave me renewed energy like I could do anything. I looked at my right palm to see the scar that marked my mistake was gone, Damien stopped his pleading as he stared at me. I forcefully pulled his hand away from his face to see that his scar had disappeared as well. He looked horrified as I forced him to look at his palm. I was finally free.

  “No!”

  A cruel smile made its way to my face as I raised my clawed hand again, this time I would not be interrupted, I will finish what I had set out to do since the very beginning. This would be the end to my nightmare. My hand came down before a loud bang caused me to stop. What now?

  I heard numerous voices outside the main door, shouting for Damien to answer them and when no answer came another bang resonated through the room. I looked down to see Damien smiling at me, his bloodied lips split opened to show equally blood-stained teeth.

  “I told you that you would never leave. You are mine now.”

  I snarled at him before grabbing a fistful of his hair making sure to pull as hard as I could before slamming his head into the concrete, successfully knocking him out cold. I shook my hand free of his hairs as I stared at his unconscious being.

  “I belong to no one.”

  I growled at his limp body before getting up and sprinting through the small side door that led to the hallway. I was lucky that I had become so thin due to my lovely stay in this place, had I been my usual size I would not have been able to fit. I exited just in time before I heard the loud crash, the unmistakable sound of a door being torn off its hinges, but I did not look back to see what happened afterwards as I sprinted down the hallway which was now mercifully vacant as everyone had rushed to see what had happened to their Alpha. A small laugh left my lips as the exit came into sight.

  I would settle this score one day, just not today.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven: Leaving the Cage

  Sapphire Nightborne

  Ten more metres till I escape this labyrinth of doors and hallways.

  Nine. I could almost taste my freedom.

  Eight. Tears welled in my eyes, I had been trapped here for 2 months and now I was about to be free.

  Seven. My heart pounded with excitement, my freedom was in my grasp.

  Six. Damien would probably put out a search for me and from what he boasted about, he has many packs under his rule. Seeking asylum with a a pack I am not close to would be extremely dangerous. My mind was racing, trying to think up a place where I could rest for awhile. My mind immediately went to my cousin's territory, I knew there was no way should would betray me, but I could not risk her and her people falling in danger because of my presence... she had already been through so much, she deserved the peace she had now. The only option I had left was to lay low with the humans for a while, it was not ideal at all, but I had no choice. The humans had no way of identifying who or what I am, and I doubt that they were in an alliance with Damien.

  Five.

  Four.

  Three. I could see the door and I felt like I could almost reach for the handle if I just stretched out my hand a little further. Just a little bit more till I was free, the pounding in my heart increased as I pushed harder. Who cares if I had to live amongst the humans? At least I would be free. I would feel grass beneath my feet instead on concrete, fresh air would fill my lungs instead of the stale stench of blood. I was almost there when someone grabbed me and pulled me into a small closet sized room before locking the door. Their actions shocked me, I thought I had this planned out.

  Did I do something wrong? Every time I try to escape or do anything at all, something always finds its way to stop me. I tried to escape with Antony, Damien captures me. I tried to die, the Moon Goddess interferes. I tried to kill Damien, t
he silver one interferes once again. I huffed as I grabbed the throat of my assailant before slamming them to the door of the room, the wood creaking under the strain, one quick snap should do it. I had no time for theatrics anyway, at least we were in the closet so the body could be left here for some time before being found. Damien would probably be up and searching for me now, I needed to get out of this place fast to build the distance between us. I turned to look into the eyes of my kidnapper before my own widened in shock.

  “Chloe?”

  Her green eyes shone with tears as they looked at me. I lowered my hand from her throat before placing my hand against the door handle. I was not afraid as I turn my back to her as I found through my months of living in this accursed place that she was the only decent human being living here. I began to turn the door handle when she gripped my arm, her nails digging into my skin. I let out a soft growl, I had no time to play into her fairytale.