Building the Family

by Amy DeMeritt

  Shannon comes running into the room and everyone comes over to the bed, but Shannon is first to get to me.

  “Shh, calm down, Kayla. We were only trying to make sure you didn’t coil into a ball in your sleep again. I’m going to take the strap off. Just lay back and relax.”

  I look in her eyes and I see such genuine care that I want to wrap my arms around her and cling to her, but my parents and the doctors are here. I have to pretend that she is nothing more than my nurse so I don’t get her in trouble. She places a gentle hand on my shoulder like she has done numerous times to calm me out of my fits of pain.

  “Don’t try to sit up after I release the strap.”

  I nod and she gives me a small smile. She unbuckles the strap on my chest and then works on both sides of the bed to remove the strap completely from the bed. She sets it aside and takes my wrist, pressing two fingers against my pulse as she looks at her watch. She looks at me with concern and then releases my wrist.

  “Your heartrate is very high. Try to relax, ok?”

  I nod and she gives me a small smile and turns to walk away. One of the doctors stops her and pulls her aside to talk to her. My mom steps next to me and places a hand on my cheek with a small smile. Seeing her beautiful smiling face makes me smile and feel more relaxed. My mom is almost one hundred percent Cherokee and looks like a Cherokee princess.

  “Hello, my little blue eyed angel.” I smile really big and release a goofy giggle. “Hey, Mom. Do I get to leave here soon?” She smiles and touches the tip of my nose a moment and wiggles it. “No, darling. You’ll be here a couple more days. Your level of pain is not manageable for you to be on your own yet and you bruised your left lung in your last fit of pain. You have to be extremely careful with your movement so you don’t end up puncturing your lung and causing more problems. That’s why they strapped you down. And they probably will have to do that every time you sleep now.”

  “What? No, way. I can’t be strapped down like that. I just can’t.” I start to panic and she places a hand on my chest. “Kayla, listen to me. Someone will be right here with you all night. You won’t need to worry.” I start to cry and she brushes her thumbs under my eyes. “I’m sorry, my sweet girl, but we have to make sure you don’t hurt yourself worse.”

  I close my eyes to try to compose myself and my jaw tenses and I just want to scream, not from pain, but from anger and frustration. A hand slips in mine and I open my eyes and see Madison at my right side, looking at me with so much love and sadness it makes me want to reach up and pull her down on top of myself, but that’s what got me in this new mess in the first place. The worst part of all of this is not being able to hold my girl like I want and need to. I need to be able to feel her tightly pressed to myself and I can’t or I’ll be in agony.

  “This really fucking sucks.”

  “Count yourself lucky you’re alive.”

  We all turn to look at the newcomer. There are two women standing just inside my room that I don’t recognize. One is tall and broad and African American, and the other is average height, fuller build, and looks mixed. They walk over and stop within a few feet of my mother. Both women look distressed and broken. The taller woman holds out her hand to my mom to shake.

  “I am Sheila Conner, Darren’s mother. This is my wife, Vivian.” My mom tentatively takes her hand. “I’m Lena Johann, Kayla’s mother. This is my husband, Kent, our oldest daughter, Sara, and Kayla’s girlfriend, Madison.”

  Sheila nods a hello to everyone, and after shaking hands, she takes a deep breath.

  “I just wanted to stop by and apologize on behalf of my son for what he did to you. I’m honestly in shock over all of this. Darren was always a good guy. He had a couple anger issues as a child because he didn’t understand why he didn’t have a father, but he never hit anyone before. Some kids picked fights with him growing up every so often to tease him about having two mothers, but I didn’t know he had so much anger inside over never having a father.”

  She starts crying and my mom places a hand on her shoulder.

  “I never would have thought my son would be capable of any of this. When I spoke to him this morning, he told me it wasn’t my fault, that he doesn’t blame me for being gay, but that he hates himself for the monster he was becoming. When Whitney ended up with you as a roommate, he started to relive all of his insecurities. I guess he believed that if I could fall in love with a woman and leave his father, then his girlfriend could fall for you and leave him.

  “No matter what Whitney told him, he couldn’t get those thoughts out of his head. I tried to explain to him that man or woman, it’s possible to fall in love with someone else even if you love one person and that he can’t think lesbians are the only people that can take someone from him. He said he understood that, but that he would never be easy with his woman being close to a lesbian.

  “I got him calmed down enough to come outside, but I don’t know what went through his mind when he saw me, because the next thing I know, my baby boy is pointing a gun at me.” She starts crying harder and my mom wraps her arms around her. “I am so sorry, Sheila.” She embraces my mom for a moment and then pulls back, wiping her eyes. “I just wanted to come and say I’m sorry and if there is anything I can do to help with medical expenses or anything else, please let me know.” My mom shakes her head. “We’ll be ok. You have enough to worry about right now. I am very sorry for your loss.” Sheila nods once and wipes at her eyes. “Thank you. I have to go identify and claim his body now so I can have him brought back home. I hope you recover quickly.”

  “Thank you, and I really am sorry this happened.”

  “Don’t be. You didn’t do anything wrong. Thank you for protecting Whitney. We love that girl like a daughter and I would have been devastated if my son had hurt her.”

  After they leave, my mom bends down and hugs me for several moments. She pulls back and kisses my forehead.

  “I am so glad that boy did not have that gun when he confronted you. My heart would die if I lost you, my sweet girl.” I smile and wrap my arms around my mom, being careful not to squeeze too tightly. “I love you, Mom.”

  “I love you too, angel.”

  My dad comes over and ruffles my hair, like Sara always does to me, before bending down to kiss my forehead. My dad is half Cherokee and half German, but he favors his Cherokee ancestry and has a very handsome regal chief appearance. He is lighter in skin tone than the rest of us, but his features are very Cherokee.

  “I’m proud of you, kid. Listen to your doctors and nurses so you can heal up quickly and get out of here. You have a lot of people that need you in their lives and that miss you.” I smile and laugh a little. “Ok, I’ll try to listen better.” He winks and smiles at me. “Good. I’m going to take your mother and sister to get some dinner, but we’ll be back later. Do you want us to bring you something back?”

  “Some good food. Hey, do you have my cellphone?” He laughs and pulls it out of his back pocket. “I’ve been wondering when you were going to ask for this. I thought these things were you young people’s lifelines these days? I’m surprised you’ve been able to live without it for two days.”

  “Whatever.” I smile as I take the phone back and see its fully charged. “Can you bring me a charger back too since I have to be in here for a while?” He ruffles my hair again and laughs. “Sure. Can we bring you something, Madison?” She smiles and shakes her head. “I can get something downstairs.”

  “You’ve had that for three days in a row. We’ll bring you something.”

  “Ok, thank you. I really appreciate it.”

  After they leave, Madison sits down next to me and kisses my lips. We just look into each other’s eyes, not saying anything for a couple minutes.

  “Maddi, I’m sorry.” She shakes her head and kisses me again. “You have to stop saying that. You haven’t done anything to be sorry about. I’m going to stay with you tonight. Your sister wanted to stay, but I begged them to let me be the one to stay w
ith you tonight.” I smile and kiss her hand. “Thank you. Will you talk them into not strapping me down too?” She frowns and looks down. “I’m sorry, Kayla, I can’t. I don’t want you to injure yourself more. I ache inside so badly seeing you like this.”

  “Ok, for you, I’ll allow it. I’ll do anything for you, Maddi.” She looks up and smiles affectionately. “Thank you, baby. I can’t wait till you are well again and I can hold you and love on you.”

  “I’m counting the seconds to that moment. Can I have a hug?”

  “If you don’t squeeze too tightly and hurt yourself again.” I smile and nod once. “I promise.”

  She leans forward and gently presses against me with her arms around my neck. She inhales and kisses me on the lips a few times before pulling me into a full kiss. After a couple minutes, she pulls back smiling.

  “Are you ready for company?”

  “Sure.” Madison smiles and pulls her phone out. She sends a few texts and then sets her phone aside. “I have to start going back to classes tomorrow, so I won’t be able to stay with you all day. I’ll come back after my last class though.”

  “Are you sure you want to stay here tonight then? You may not get any sleep.”

  “I’m sure.”

  “I can stay with her.” We look up and Shannon is coming in pushing her cart to take my vitals. Madison shakes her head. “I want to be with her tonight. I don’t care who stays the other nights, but I need to do this tonight.” I smile and kiss her hand. “Ok, Maddi, you can stay with me tonight. I’ll try to be a good patient so you can get some sleep.”

  “Thank you.”

  Shannon smiles and starts putting the blood pressure sleeve on my arm. “Ok, sit still and no talking for a moment.” I obey and allow her to do her job. She takes my blood pressure and my temperature, but doesn’t take any blood. “No blood?” She shakes her head. “Not till tomorrow morning. How’s your pain? Are you ready for more medicine?” I nod. “Yes, please.” She turns a moment and then hands me my water and a small plastic cup with three pills. “What’s this new pill?”

  “A muscle relaxant. It’s to help prevent your muscles from clenching so much.” I swallow back the pills and Shannon looks towards the door a moment before stepping closer to the bed. “Kayla, I’m really sorry about the straps. I had a really hard time listening to the doctor and putting that on you after you told me about your nightmares you had last night. I actually broke down and cried after I left the room.” Her eyes mist up and she visibly swallows. “I knew you were going to be terrified when you woke up and realized you were strapped down. I’m so sorry I had to do that to you.” I hold out my left hand to her and she entwines her fingers with mine, being careful of my broken pinky. “You were just doing your job, Shannon – something I haven’t been making it easy for you to do since I became your patient.” She laughs a little and shakes her head. “In more ways than one.”

  “Don’t worry about the straps. I’ll have to deal with it. Thank you for taking such good care of me.” She smiles and blushes a little bit. She looks at my lips and then back at the door. “I want to kiss you.” Madison stands up and starts to walk to the other side of the bed. “Go ahead. I’ll make sure no one comes in.”

  Shannon smiles appreciatively and waits till Madison is in position to watch the door. She slowly bends down, placing a hand on the right side of my face and presses her lips against mine. Our lips and tongues move together in a hot tumbling of sucking twists and turns that makes my head swoon and my body heat rise. Shannon really is an amazing kisser. She is right at the same level with Sam, just below the amazing kisses that Madison gives me. After a few minutes, she pulls back practically panting for air.

  “I really like kissing you. I get off soon, so I guess I won’t see you again till the morning.” Madison comes back and sits down next to me. Shannon looks between us nervously and shuffles on her feet some. “What’s the matter?”

  “I was wondering if I could sit with you tomorrow on my lunch break. Maybe we could just talk? I know it’s kind of backwards because of what we’ve, or I’ve done, but I mean, I just…” I smile and laugh a little. “Yes, of course. Maddi has to go to classes tomorrow, so I’d appreciate the company.” She smiles and gently squeezes my hand. “Ok, thanks. Do you need anything before I leave?”

  “No, I’m good. Thank you, Shannon.” She runs her fingers through my hair and smiles. “Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow. I hope you sleep better tonight.”

  “Thank you. See you in the morning.”

  She waves one last time before walking out the door and then I turn back to look at Madison, who is watching me with a cute grin.

  “What?” She laughs and shakes her head in an amused way. “That girl is going to fall in love with you before you get out of this hospital.”

  “Don’t you mean, us?” She rubs my cheek and smiles. “Are you going to behave yourself tomorrow while I’m in class?”

  “Yes. I’m going to have to behave myself for a while so I don’t risk any further injury to my lung.”

  “Hey, V-tag.” Josh comes sauntering into the room with a goofy grin on his face. I roll my eyes and he laughs. “What happened to your beard?” He rubs his freshly shaven face and laughs. “Turns out that the straight girls don’t like the beard as much I was made to believe. They prefer a baby-bottom smooth face between their legs.”

  “Uh, yeah, I could have told you that.” He laughs and then gets a serious look on his face. “So, how are you doing? Did that guy really stomp on your ribs?”

  “Yeah.” He shakes his head and comes to sit down next to me. “I know I shouldn’t say it because the guy is dead now, but I really wish I had the chance to beat the shit out of him for doing this to you. How long you going to be rotting in this place?”

  “At least a few more days. Can you do me a favor.”

  “Anything.”

  “If you’re ever around Whitney, please don’t say anything bad about Darren or wanting to hurt him or anything.” He looks at me confused and starts to argue, but I hold up my hand. “Look, the guy was messed up. He wasn’t right in the head. I know she wanted out of the relationship, but she did love him.”

  I want to also point out that she might even be blaming herself right now because of some stuff she said to him when they broke up, but I keep that to myself so it doesn’t get around school and rumors cause her more grief.

  “Ok, fine. I’ll keep my hatred for the guy to myself if she’s around.”

  Candi and Carmen walk in at the same time and Josh quickly stands and moves to the other side of the bed to stand next to Madison to give them room. They look really nice. I’ve only ever seen Carmen in her work uniform, but today, she’s wearing a pair of tight jeans and a tee shirt with her dark wavy hair down out of her usual ponytail. Candi also has her long blonde hair down and she’s in shorts and a tight tank top.

  “Hey, Daddy, how you feeling?”

  Candi bends down and gives me a soft kiss on the lips and then kisses Madison before she takes Josh’s vacated seat. I notice Josh try hard to keep from grinning really big, but he doesn’t do well.

  “Like hell. Drugs are starting to kick in though, so the pain isn’t as bad right now.”

  Carmen lifts my chin to look at her and gently brushes her thumb over my bruised cheek. She bends down and gently kisses my cheek and then kisses my lips. She slips her tongue in my mouth and gives me a short kiss before pulling back.

  “I can’t believe someone did this to you. Did you at least get a hit in before you went down?” I shake my head. “No, it happened too fast and his first punch pretty much immobilized me.”

  “Wait a minute. What the fuck was that?” I look up and Josh is staring at me in disbelief. “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t play dumb with me. I know you left the party with Madison and Candi, but who is this chick? Are you banging her too?”

  “Don’t call her ‘chick’. Her name is Carmen. And don’t call it ‘banging’, th
at sounds disrespectful to my girls or tacky or something.”

  “So, you are sleeping with all of them?”

  “How many times am I going to have to explain this?”

  “At least one more.”

  Shane is standing a few feet back with her arms crossed on her chest and she looks pissed. Carmen and Candi move around the other side of the bed next to Madison and Josh and Shane comes to stand next to me.

  “Well?”

  “Well what? Why do you look mad?”

  “Are you sleeping with all of them?”

  She looks furious, as if I’ve done something horrible to her. It makes my stomach churn in sickness, but rage wells up inside me as well because I haven’t done anything to her to deserve the look and tone in her voice.

  “That’s none of your business.” Her eyes narrow and she takes a step closer to me. “It is my business when you basically told me you couldn’t allow yourself to like me because you had fallen for Madison. But all of sudden, you are with these two as well? How long have you known them?”

  “No, it’s not your business. I’m not dating you. We’re only friends and we’ve never been more than that. You have a girlfriend now, so why do you still care what I do?”

  Shane slaps me hard across my bruised cheek and I groan and roll over, causing me to coil into a ball of pain from my ribs pinching.

  “Are you fucking crazy?”

  I hear people scrambling around me, but mostly I hear my own groans of agony.

  “Get her out of here!”

  “Sweetie, breathe. Relax. What happened?” Shannon’s sweet voice and gentle hands are on me trying to calm me and pry me out of my fetal position. Knowing she’s still here helps to calm me and help me to relax. “Why is her cheek bleeding?”

  “Shane slapped her.”

  “What? Kayla, calm down. Relax your muscles.” Shannon slowly eases me out of my ball and presses her hand on my stomach and on my chest. “Ok, you know the drill. Breathe, sweetie.” I take slow deep breaths and try to focus on not allowing my muscles to clench. “Deeper, Kayla. That’s too shallow.” I try to breathe deeper, but it makes me wince and groan. “I can’t.”