Building the Family

by Amy DeMeritt

  “It’s just after five o’clock.” Damn, I’ve been asleep for over six hours. “I might black out.” I groan and my body starts to tense again. Madison holds my shoulders as Shannon gently caresses and holds my stomach and legs to keep me from coiling into a ball. “I’m really tired of this.”

  “I know, sweetie. I’m sorry. Will talking or watching TV help to take your mind off of the pain some?”

  “You can talk.” I groan and they caress and hold me down lovingly. It feels so nice, even though I’m in agony. “Ok, I’ll talk.” She brushes my cheek with her hand and tugs my bottom lip free from my teeth. “Madison and I talked while we let you sleep. She told me the deal with Sam. I’ve agreed that out of respect for what all of you are to each other that I will talk to Sam and try to get to know her as well. It makes it an easier concept knowing that Candi and Carmen won’t be in the mix anymore.”

  “Did you, oh god.” I wince and try hard to breathe normally and relax. “Did you talk to her yet?”

  “No. We wanted to wait till you were awake.”

  “And if Sam says, no?” Shannon brushes her thumb across my bottom lip and gently kisses me. “I know what it means. But I’m already, I just, yeah, I understand.”

  I look at her confused from that last incoherent rambling and I see pain in her eyes and her bottom lip slightly quivers, but she swallows and then licks her lips, pushing the emotion down. It makes my chest tighten with emotion, causing more pain to radiate through me. I reach for her, pulling her forward. I stare in her pretty green eyes and I can tell. She loves me. I give her a small smile and pull her into a kiss. She releases a small sound and her hand firmly grips my thigh as our mouths move together. Madison brushes one hand through my hair and lays her other hand on my chest, just gently holding and soothing me while I kiss Shannon.

  This is such a beautiful moment, it makes tears well up in my eyes. I have these two beautiful women taking care of me, both of which love me and want to be with me and each other as a happy family. I wrap an arm around Shannon and pull her down on top of myself, but immediately pull back and scream in pain.

  “Kayla, I’m sorry. Are you ok?”

  I cling to Madison’s hand and slowly breathe as I ride out the sharp pain. After a couple minutes, I’m composed again enough that I’m not screaming or groaning and I can open my eyes again.

  I feel like I’ll pass out any second, but I need to say this. In a quiet, breathless voice, I say, “I want you and Sam to like each other and want to be together, like how you described in the hospital. Madison has called all the shots till I was hospitalized, and Sam has made the call to cut Candi and Carmen from the fold. I haven’t made one judgement call on any of this yet, because till now, I’ve been ok with the decisions of my girls. But I’m using my Daddy rank now. Sam will need to learn to love you or at least tolerate you.”

  As soon as I finish, my eyes close and I lose consciousness. A cold sensation on my neck makes me jolt awake and Madison and Shannon have their hands placed to keep me from sitting up.

  “Shh, sweetie, its ok. Please don’t try to move at all. We need to let your medicine kick in. Kayla, I am so sorry I didn’t make you take this sooner.”

  “It’s my fault for forgetting it in the first place. Maddi, can you sing for me?” Madison looks down at me smiling and caresses my cheek. “Ok, baby. What do you want me to sing for you?”

  “Oh, I don’t care. You could sing out of one of my biology textbooks and it would be beautiful.”

  Madison laughs and kisses my forehead a moment. Shannon moves from kneeling on the floor next to me, to sit on the sofa, holding my legs on her lap. This is nice – my head is cradled on Madison’s lap, and my legs are cradled on Shannon’s.

  Madison takes a sip of my water and licks her lips in thought. She smiles down at me and starts singing. I smile really big and nuzzle my face in closer to her. I recognize the song from her singing it for me before. It’s a jazz song by the famous Lena Horne – Just Squeeze Me. It talks about love and missing her lover and wanting to be squeezed and held close at bed time. I love when she sings this for me. I thought it was funny when she told me who sings it because that’s my mom’s name.

  While she sings, she gently caresses my face, neck, shoulders, and chest. She entwines her hand with one of mine, and each time she sings, “squeeze me”, she squeezes my hand. By the time that she gets to the last note, I have tears streaking down my cheeks.

  “Baby, that was beautiful. Thank you.” She carefully bends down and kisses me. Our lips and tongues move together in a beautiful sensual dance for a few moments, making me feel like I’m floating. She pulls back and smiles at me. “You love me?” I smile really big and she giggles. “Yeah, I love you, Maddi.” She runs her fingers through my hair and kisses my forehead. “I love you too. Are you feeling better now?” I nod and nuzzle in closer to her. “Some. Thank you.”

  “You have a really beautiful voice.”

  We look over at Shannon and she is wiping her eyes. I smile and reach my other hand out for her to take. Madison’s voice always brings me to reverent tears too. Shannon takes my hand and kisses it a couple times and then blushes and looks down.

  “Thank you, Shannon.” She looks back at Madison and smiles. “I’ve always liked singing. I’m a little jealous because I could never sound that amazing.” Madison laughs a little. “Do you know any songs by heart?” Shannon shakes her head. “No, I can’t sing without music. I have to sing with a song or I’m tone deaf.”

  Madison pulls out her cellphone and swipes through some screens before handing it to Shannon.

  “I have over four thousand songs so I’m sure you can find one you know.”

  “No way I am following you. You sing like an angel, Madison.” Madison giggles and shakes her head. “We’ll sing together.” Shannon looks really nervous, but smiles when Madison adds, “Kayla would love it.”

  Shannon scrolls through Madison’s massive music library trying to find a song. It’s cute watching her. Her cheeks are red and she keeps nervously biting her lip, looking at us and then shaking her head and keeps scrolling.

  “I can’t find one that’s sweet and romantic like you sang that I know well enough to sing.”

  “It doesn’t have to be sweet and romantic. Just pick anything you feel comfortable singing.”

  “Ok, well, do you know this one well enough?” She presses play and a song that I actually love starts playing. I smile really big and squeeze their hands. “Yes, sing this one for me.” They giggle and Shannon takes a drink of water and clears her throat. She laughs in a nervous way and shakes her head. “I can’t believe I’m about to do this. I never sing in front of anyone.”

  She restarts the song and Madison starts first and Shannon nervously bites her lip and joins in the second verse. My heart skips a beat and I moan in pleasure, as I whisper, “So beautiful.” Shannon smiles and looks down as she continues to sing with Madison. When they finish singing, I have tears streaming down my cheeks. It was the most beautiful duet I’ve ever heard. Madison has a sweet silky voice that feels like its wrapping me in soft fluffy clouds and swaddling me, while Shannon has an earthier raspy voice that feels like its lifting me up. The two combined is amazing.

  “Wow. I don’t think I can ever listen to that original again. I need to record you both singing that.”

  They laugh and bend down to pepper my face and neck with kisses. I laugh and wrap my arms around them, enjoying them loving on me. I hold onto them both for a few minutes and then let them sit back up. Shannon rubs my legs and smiles at me so affectionately that I just want to pull her back down on top of me again.

  “You look like you’re feeling better. Are you hungry?”

  “Starving.” Shannon pats my legs and carefully slides out from under them and stands up. “Ok, I’ll cook something.”

  “You cook?” She laughs and shrugs a shoulder. “Some.”

  “Can I help?”

  “No.” I pout and cros
s my arms over my chest. “Why not?” She smiles and bends down to kiss my lips. “For your first night here, I’d like to cook for both of you. You can watch though, if you feel up to standing.”

  I carefully stand up with Madison’s and Shannon’s help and we follow her to the kitchen. I lean against the counter with Madison at my side and we watch Shannon pull stuff out of the fridge and cabinets. Shannon comes to stand in front of me and places a hand on my hip.

  “I need you to move over some, sweetie.” I smile and shake my head. She puckers her lips and slightly narrows her eyes at me, but then smiles like she’s proud of herself. “Please, Daddy.”

  I smile really big and I slide over some. She flashes me a cute amused grin and steps into my vacated space with a cutting board and sheathed knife.

  She turns to wash some vegetables, grabs a big bowl, and then returns to start peeling and chopping up some carrots, potatoes, some weird looking knobby yellow things that look like wannabe carrots, and an onion. I pick up one of the yellow things and smell it. She laughs and takes it back from me.

  “What is that thing?”

  “A parsnip.”

  “Am I going to like that?” She laughs and shrugs a shoulder. “I don’t know. We’ll find out.”

  “What are you making?” She laughs again and kisses my lips. “You are so cute. Always so many questions.” Madison releases a small laugh and I look at her and she nods and gives me a kiss. “That’s the scientist in you.”

  “Asking what’s for dinner is an ordinary question. Now, asking,” I pause and caress Shannon’s cheek, glide my thumb under her bottom lip, and gently tug on it a moment, making her inhale deeply and blush, before I finish, “why that happens when I touch you, is a scientific question.”

  “That was not fair.” I laugh and she gently smacks my arm. “Why was that unfair?”

  “Because.” She pouts and goes back to cutting the vegetables into little bite size cubes. I glance at Madison and she smiles and nods towards Shannon. “I think you better do something about that pouty girl, Daddy.”

  I step behind Shannon, getting so close that my body is pressed against hers. She stops cutting and places the knife on the counter as she inhales and starts to turn. I place my hands on her hips and squeeze them a moment before wrapping my arms around her waist, holding her close. I nuzzle in her neck and breathe in her sweet scent and gently kiss her neck, ear, and cheek.

  Shannon releases a small sound of happy contentment and places her hands over my arms and presses her cheek against mine.

  “This feels so good. Can you stay like this?” I smile and kiss her neck. “Ok.”

  She turns and kisses my lips a moment before turning back to keep cutting the veggies. I glance at Madison and she looks so happy. I pucker up my lips at her and she leans over and gives me a soft kiss on the lips and then kisses Shannon on the cheek. Shannon smiles really big and glances at us both with red cheeks.

  She grabs the onion and as soon as she slices through it, the scent reaches my eyes and it burns.

  “Oh, wow, that’s a potent onion.” I laugh and burry my face in her neck, trying to hide from the onion fumes. She laughs and squirms. “Your tickling my neck.”

  “Oh, yeah?” I smile and nuzzle in more and let my breath and eyelashes move over her soft skin. She laughs hard and squirms, trying to get away. “Kayla, oh my god. Stop.”

  She laughs and jerks a little, accidentally elbowing me in the ribs. I gasp and immediately release her and fall backwards a few steps bent over in pain. Madison and Shannon are quickly holding onto me and supporting me.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “It was my fault. I keep forgetting I’m broken. I’m just going to stand over here and let you do your thing.”

  I slowly move to the other side of the kitchen cradling my ribs and both of them frown and look sad and concerned.

  Two months of having to be careful of these ribs is going to be extremely frustrating. I can’t stand not being able to be intimate with them the way I want to be. The idea of having to wait two months to be able to dance with them is painful. I shake my head and start to walk out. Madison reaches for my hand, but I shake my head.

  “I’m going to go sit down.”

  I sit down on the sofa and lean my head back with my eyes closed. Is there something I could have done differently that would have prevented all of this? Is there something better I could have said to Darren that would have spared me the beating he gave me and then later causing him to be killed? I keep replaying the whole night in my head everyday and I just don’t understand it. I just don’t understand how he developed the kind of anger he had to do all of this.

  “Baby?” I open my eyes and Madison sits down next to me. I take her hand in mine and hold it on my lap. “Is there something I could have done differently, Maddi? Could I have prevented all of this?”

  “No, baby. Nothing you said or didn’t say caused any of this.” I shake my head. “You don’t believe that. You wouldn’t be going into psychology for the reasons you are if you believed that.”

  “Kayla, the human mind is extremely complex, and even though some patterns in behavior can exist amongst people, it is still extremely difficult to know how someone will react to something. Especially, when that person is unstable and under the conditions of stress and fear. We will never know if there was something you or any of us could have done or said to prevent this. But when we dwell on things that have happened and that we can’t change, we create new behavioral patterns and imbalances that could lead to new issues down the road. Regardless if you could have, you have to accept that you could not have changed the outcome of this. Otherwise, you will drive yourself crazy and create so many insecurities in your mind.”

  “It’s really sexy how smart you are.” She smiles and kisses my cheek. “I hate that I can’t hold you and be with you the way I want to be. I hate that I have these limitations and will for so long. I want to make love to you and dance with you. I want to feel you against me.”

  “We can still make love and even dance together. We just have to be careful. We’re going to have two months of beautiful slow and tender loving and dancing, which, you are amazing at. I love your wild side, but your tender side is pure heaven, baby.” I smile and my cheeks blush hot. “I love you, Maddi. Thanks for being so wonderful.”

  “I love you too, Kayla.” She loops her arm in mine and leans her head on my shoulder. “Do you want to stay in here or go back to the kitchen and watch Shannon make her mystery parsnip dinner?” I laugh and kiss her head. “Yeah, let’s go see what she’s going to do with those weird things.” Madison smiles and helps me off the sofa.

  When we come back into the kitchen, Shannon is pulling out a package of really small cubes of beef. She sets it down on the counter and looks at me with concern.

  “Did I do someth…” I wrap my arms around her, cutting her off. “Sorry I walked out. I’m just grumpy about being fragile.” She gently kisses my cheek and rubs her hands soothingly over my back. “I know, sweetie.”

  She pulls back and runs her fingers through my hair a moment, before smiling and pulling away to keep cooking.

  She tosses the diced onions in a hot pot with a little bit of oil and cooks them for a few minutes before adding the package of cubed beef. She adds a couple pinches of salt from a small bowl next to the stove and tosses the mixture around a few times. I’ve watched my mom make stew many times and Shannon is doing all of the right steps. After a few minutes, she adds a couple cartons of stock, a small can of tomato paste, the veggies she had chopped, and some dried herbs.

  The smell is already amazing. It reminds me of home and makes me miss my mom. My mom makes amazing stew. I make Shannon slightly yelp as I wrap my arms around her from behind and firmly kiss her cheek while she’s stirring the pot. She giggles and places a hand over mine.

  “Hey, sweetie.”

  “You should know that stew is one of my favorite comfort foods and makes me very homesick.
My mom makes amazing stew.” She turns in my arms to face me and kisses my lips. “Well, I’m sure I can’t make it as good as your mom, but I hope you like it. Stew is one of my favorite meals and always makes me feel better when the world just seems off.”

  “Thank you for cooking. I’ve been missing homecooked food so much.” She smiles and places her hands on the sides of my face, just looking in my eyes for a moment. “You’re welcome.”

  She looks like she wanted to say something else, but she releases my face and turns back to the stove to stir the pot and place a lid over it.

  “Ok, that just needs to simmer for a while. Do you want a snack while we wait?” I shake my head. “No, I want to be ravenous when you give me the stew so I can fully appreciate it. You and Maddi can have something though.”

  “If you’re ravenous before you eat, you may think it’s better than it is. I think you should eat a snack so I can feel confident you’re telling me the truth if you like it.”

  “Ok, fine.”

  Shannon grins and turns to open her cabinets to find something for us to snack on. She has a lot of healthy snacks, which I don’t normally eat.

  “See anything you want?” She laughs at me and turns to face me. “What’s with that face?”

  “Your cabinet is full of bird and squirrel food.” Both of them laugh hard. “What kind of snacks do you like?”

  “Kayla likes junk food.”

  “How do you have such a sexy body and abs like that if you eat junk food?” I smile and dust off my shoulder in a cocky way and lean against the counter. “Came out this way. I was born with a six-pack, baby.” They laugh and Madison shakes her head. “Kayla has a really weird diet. If she has a lot of carbs and junk one day, she eats a ton of protein and almost no carbs the next day. She also drinks a lot of water and works out a lot.”

  “How do you know that?” Madison laughs and walks over to me, wrapping her arms around my neck. “We’re together all the time. You think I haven’t noticed your habits?” I pout and she giggles. “Sorry, baby. I won’t tell anyone else your secret sexy-ab formula.” I smile and she playfully nips my bottom lip. “I guess since I can’t work out much, I should learn how to eat those weird healthy snacks you have.”