Bound (Bound Hearts #1)

by S. N. Garza

  The closer I got to the backyard, the glow became brighter and colorful. Then as I stepped more to the back, my heart stopped. Whoa. There was a big screen, Mickey Mouse shaped, and the previews for Frozen were being shown. There were lights surrounding a little sofa type lawn chair, an ice bucket with wine on one side and Courtland making his way behind me.

  I couldn’t help but whisper, “Wow.”

  He must have heard me though because he stopped behind me, taking the food and drinks from me in one hand and shifted the other to the small of my back and herded me to the chair.

  “You totally went all out. This is amazing.”

  “I want this night to be one you never forget.”

  “Nothing compares.”

  “Good.”

  We got comfortable in the seat and he must have had the movie on Disney’s fastplay, because we were just digging into our food when the opening of Frozen started. I wondered what made him go through all this trouble. I mean, we could’ve just sat in the living room and watched it. This was really sweet and thoughtful of him. The night wasn’t hot and humid like it usually was. I wore a green sundress and flops. (And no, I didn’t go out and buy it because it matched his eyes perfectly. Well, maybe…Okay yes, I bought it for that reason. And easy to peel off.) I wanted tonight to be special and I wanted to wear something that every time I wore it after this, would always remind me of the night I let go of my fears and be brave. It was a great confidence booster.

  During the whole movie, Courtland never made a move on me. I sat in the crook of his shoulder and mostly he just massaged my arm and shoulder and sometimes twirled a finger in my hair. It didn’t bother me anymore if he touched my hair. It was always a soft and gentle touch. Sometimes playful, but he never tried pulling it. My skin was tingling and I really wanted to just hop on his lap and really begin our night. I noticed the bulge he was packing and I was ready to pounce when the final credits started rolling and he shifted me away and said he was going to the bathroom real quick.

  I nodded and wondered why he didn’t make a move towards me. It was really making me nervous about the whole getting over my fears thing. Making me second guess what tonight would be about, was not helping.

  So I waited. After five minutes of him not showing up yet, I was thinking maybe the food didn’t agree with him. But then another ten minutes passed and I was getting aggravated.

  What the hell was going on? Did he want me to leave? Well, I wasn’t’ leaving here until I got an orgasm. He promised me retribution for teasing him and I so wanted him to pay me back in kind. Like multiple orgasms pay back.

  So I marched up onto the back porch and noticed a note taped on the screen door.

  Remember when we first met? Enter to know just how much you mean to me.

  Oooo-kay. I remembered when we first met. It was at Uncle Chet’s for a weekend meal. His piercing green gaze followed me everywhere. Almost like an annoying bug, but then when I looked him in his eyes, our gaze held and it felt like he was seeing inside to my soul. Which thinking about it now, makes me curious to see, just how much I meant to him.

  Holding the note in one hand, I opened the back door to the smell of roses. The fragrance was strong, but didn’t drown me out. The room was dark and when I flipped on the light, white rose petals were scattered across the floor, and a few blue petals. On the island was one white and one blue rose in a vase with another note attached to it.

  Your sweet innocence was impossible for me to grasp, so I looked upon yours to seek my salvation. P.s. keep following the path.

  I felt the tears begin to swell in my eyes.

  I didn’t want to step on the petals and crush them with my flops so I took them off and continued, stepping over the petals. The next room, the dining area, was lit with a single candle and I flipped the switch to see yellow, and red tipped yellow petals strewed over the table, floors and led in the living room. A few blue petals mingled in between and I wondered what they meant. But on the table was two roses, one yellow and one red tipped. The note attached said-

  A new beginning then, and a dream for another new beginning awaits. A friendship lasting throughout every hardship. Lean on me, beautiful. I’ll never fail the impossible with you by my side.

  He was really starting to get to me with these notes. They were really beautiful and captivating. I took those roses, and followed the yellow path into the living room. This time, there was enough candles burning to see wall to wall pink and light pink petals and a few blue ones. Everywhere. He really knew how much I loved roses. This was beautiful. I went to the coffee table and picked up the two pink entwined roses and lifted the note.

  Your gentleness settles my roughness as your sweetness softens my soul. P.s. The best is yet to come.

  I came to the stairway where lavender rose petals laid on the steps, again with a few blue ones scattered. A lone shelf that hosted a single candle also held a lavender rose and note.

  I am forever enchanted by you and everything you do. Everything I’ve ever known began to change and made me dream things I thought were unattainable to achieve.

  My heart was beginning to race with trepidation and excitement all at the same time. I took the flower with the others and climbed the steps into the hallway, leading to where I knew he’d be waiting. The pathway was littered with orange and coral flowers. I knew they represented desire. I was getting closer to what I wanted the most.

  The light was turned low and in the middle of the pathway was a large fat candle with the two flowers and a note.

  Everything about you is desirable and I’ll always be fascinated in all you are. Your passion ignites a burning desire inside me that only you can produce.

  And when I got to his bedroom door, it was closed with one red and one dark red rose taped on the door along with another note.

  Eleven roses you have collected, that shows you just how much I feel for you. You were, are and will always be beautiful. Never doubt how I feel about you. Then, now and always. I’ll treasure every waking moment with you. Whether it’s given or stolen, and I’ll dream of you and always know this is where I was meant to be. P.s. Come to me Adelaide. Let me show you exactly how it’s meant to be.

  I took the tokens and walked into the room. Bright red and dark red rose petals covered everything. It looked like a rose explosion. My heart was pounding in my ears and candles were lit in various places in his room. In the corner I saw movement and he stepped away from the wall and sauntered in all his beautiful glory to me. He was the beautiful one. He knew just what to make my heart thunder and my body come alive.

  We took each other’s clothes off slowly, I knew we were both memorizing every little detail we could. The love we made was exactly that. Slow, sweet, and entrancing as I looked into his eyes and I saw what I was beginning to feel. What I dreaded to feel. Love. My heart was beginning to burst with the emotion and I was so scared of feeling that way. It became intense as he drove inside me slowly, but methodically. He brought my hands to the sides of my head and entwined our fingers. Tightening when he pushed in to the hilt and I squeezed my inner muscles every time, getting that much closer to release. He didn’t go at a faster tempo, just kept up with steady and hard strokes. He didn’t say anything and I couldn’t either. Too scared to own up to the feelings that were bubbling and rising to the fore. He just stared intently in my eyes. Conveying what I wanted the most to hear, but dreaded too.

  “Courtland. God, this feels so amazing.”

  “Come for me, Adelaide. I love how you squeeze around my cock, sucking it inside you. Let go, babe. Give me your sweet release.”

  He thrust just a little harder and the force of his piercing, hit my g-spot. Of all the men I’ve had sex with, Courtland is the only one that has hit that spot. Repeatedly. I don’t know if it’s the barbell but it only took a few more hard thrusts and I was coming. Calling out his name. He groaned, panting out my name as he came and landed on top of me. He was a heavy weight, but a welcome one. I loved his wa
rmth encasing me and protecting me. After a few long languid minutes though, it was getting difficult to breathe. Courtland was a big man. Tall and his crushing weight was warming, but I needed to breathe.

  “Courtland. Need. Breathe.”

  “Sorry.” He slowly raised himself up and turned us so we were laying side by side. We just rested there for a few minutes before he brushed my sweat-stuck hair off my face and put his hand to lay at my hip.

  I closed my eyes. I didn’t know how long we were making love, but it had truly exhausted me and I was blissfully falling asleep, when I heard him say, “I love you.”

  My eyes shot open, wide with fear and shock. He actually said it. All I could do was stare at him.

  Then, he said it again.

  “Adelaide, I love you.”

  Twenty-One

  Courtland

  I could tell she was totally freaked by what I said. By the notes I left around the house I imagined her slowly figuring out my feelings. She wasn’t expecting me to say it though, and I couldn’t pretend not to feel what I truly felt and not share them with her. I needed her to know how much I loved her.

  She laid there in shock and I saw the fear in her eyes. Fear of the unknown. I honestly don’t think she’s ever really heard that from anyone. Surely Gram and her grandfather did and must have told her, but I don’t think she knows what true unconditional, fathomless, never ending love is like. That’s the way I loved her. There was no ending, just incandescently endurance, until I leave this world. I didn’t want to spend my life without her. Her leaving would leave a shell of who I once was. I wanted her to love me the same way. I wouldn’t force her. I wanted her to only say it if she meant it with all that she was. She was scared though and that feeling is hard to break when you’ve been through a lot in your life.

  Then, she sobbed. Heart wrenching sobs that scared me shitless. Not even ten years ago did I see her cry like this. It was like a lifetime of pain and hurt was being poured out of her and I was helpless to it. So I held her. I held her close. I held her tight.

  After what felt like hours, she calmed down and she laid so quietly and for now that was okay. I wanted her to tell me her deepest darkest secrets, but if I had to lay mine down first, I would.

  “My mother died five years ago.”

  Her body tensed and I shifted us so I could lean my head on my hand and still be able to look and caress her if I wanted. She didn’t say anything and I didn’t need her to. If what I had to do was talk about my own feelings, then so be it. I wasn’t afraid of loving her and giving her my best and I sure as hell wasn’t afraid to give her the worst of me.

  “Five years ago, a woman found out where I lived and I was still in the Marines, but Joe had sent my C.O. a telegram telling me about my mother dying. The only mother I thought it could be was Mildred, his wife. Or God forbid Maggie. We had just come back from deployment and he told me I had a week’s leave and I came down. Boy, I was so pissed when I found out it wasn’t either of them, but my birth mother. Addy.”

  I ended up having to take a deep breath and close my eyes. Although it was five years ago, knowing what my mother went through, still caught my breath and brought tears to my eyes.

  I felt a feather light touch on my brow and slowly opened my eyes to see hers filled with tears.

  “You must know she didn’t, or God forbid, choose that life. Not one girl or woman willingly chooses to prostitute themselves.”

  “She was fifteen when she had me, Addy.”

  No one knew that. Except the woman Roxy, Roth and whoever else was in control those years.

  “Fifteen, Addy! No girl should be treated like that. I’m surprised she didn’t have an abortion.”

  “No, they shouldn’t. But sometimes they have no choice. It’s taken away from them.”

  I couldn’t imagine any girl going through what my mother went through. I understood, now more than I ever did.

  “Can I show you something?”

  Nodding, she pushed herself up, and cradled her arms across her knees. I got up and went to my dresser, just to get a smile from her I said without looking back, “Stop staring at my ass, woman.”

  Giggling, she responded, “I really can’t help it Courtland. You really do have a fine ass.”

  I grabbed my mother’s letter from my dresser and turned back around, rolling my eyes at her. This time, she shielded her eyes with a hand, smiling and laughing.

  “Here. It’s from my mother.”

  She looked at it with trepidation and with a shaking hand, she reached for it. Taking it back into her lap, she unfolded the stationary and began reading. I knew what it said basically from heart. I could even hear my mother’s voice talking as she was writing it.

  Dearest Courtland,

  My sweet strong baby boy. If you’re reading this, than that means I never got the chance to tell you how truly sorry I am. I want you to know that I have loved you since the doctor put you in arms. Before even, that first heart beat ultrasound. Such a strong steady heartbeat. I know I was never able to show it. Roth had threatened to sell you when you were a young boy if I didn’t follow his commands.

  After the hospital stay and arriving to our pathetic excuse for a home, he usually kept me heavily sedated unless I was put out on the streets. I was fifteen Courtland.

  I was fifteen when I selfishly ran away from home. My parents were very religious Catholics and the fact of me hating to be reined in. I had always known I was a free spirit. Longing to be free from the confines of which I was born into. I imagined you were longing it as well.

  When a man had shown me such wonderful attention I thought I craved and showered me with beautiful things. I was so very captivated. I had lied to him you see. I told him I was eighteen. When he asked me to move away with him, he promised that he’d take care of me.

  It wasn’t long before I learned his real motives.

  I can’t dare convince you to forgive me for never being the mother you deserve, for I know I will never deserve you.

  You deserve every happiness this world has to offer and has never shown you. I’m sorry that I don’t know who your father is. That time was a blurry mess of lies, deceit, pain and despair.

  I know you turned out so different than what you were given. You exceeded and that’s all I could ever want for you. Is your happiness.

  I was about thirty-six, which made you twenty-one, when I finally got the nerve to find you. You were driving a pick-up truck with a boy and a pretty girl around and when you stopped, and got out to go inside the movie complex, I swear to you, your eyes were bright green emeralds that held happiness.

  You seemed taken with that girl. It might seem foolish, but I often dreamed she was your wife and pictured her with a beautiful baby on her hip. Just thinking about having grandchildren who I knew you would cherish, protect with everything in you, made my life complete.

  If you never call me mom, Courtland, I’ll be okay with that. I’ve made so many mistakes in my life. You were never one of them. You are a good man, will be a great husband and even a better father to your children.

  I wish so many wonderful and beautiful things for you and your future. Your birth is a beautiful miracle. My miracle. Never thought I’d say this, but my father always said, work hard and love harder.

  So my beautiful son, know this, work hard and love harder. You are so loved.

  With hope, Chloe

  P.S. They don’t know who you are, but if you ever want to meet your grandparents, their name are Alexander and Merriam Phillips. They live in a small town outside Memphis, Tennessee. As I write this, they are alive. Please, don’t forget, you have family. It’s never the place that makes a home, just the people in it.

  I sat there, letting it sink in. Tears fell from her eyes and she looked just a painful as I could imagine any young girl would think about those things. Being denied love, friendship. Never having parents who understood you or thinking you were too much trouble. When Addy finished, she laid the papers d
own in her lap. She shook her head reverently.

  “Courtland, have you met your grandparents?”

  “No.”

  “Why ever not?”

  I sighed with the frustration I felt at knowing I could meet them. “What would you do if you were in my situation?”

  “I practically was. Although they knew of me. They didn’t know me. I made it my own personal promise to find them. I left here when I was almost eighteen. I wanted to know them. And they, me. They deserved it.”

  “Maybe I’m just not ready.”

  “That’s okay too Courtland. No one should rush you into something that is totally unknown. Just remember, they won’t live forever. Maybe you should give them the blessing of knowing your existence. At least.”

  “I’ll think on it. For now, let’s rest.”

  “I couldn’t think of anything I’d like more.”

  I laid us down, and I moved her so she was laying on top of me. I wanted her to be my blanket and she reached down and threw the covers on both of us. Her head laid comfortably on my chest. Right over my heart. Just where she belonged.

  ‡

  I felt something stirring on top of me. Then the most incredible sensation I’d ever felt. My dick was already springing in action and then a warmth spread over the tip.

  My eyes opened and I saw the blanket ruffling over me and knew what she was doing. Before, she had seem so insecure about this part of making love and I wasn’t about to force her into doing something she didn’t want to do. Maybe she just needed time and to be thoroughly relaxed. I mean, between falling asleep after my mother’s letter and now, I had woken her up once already, wanting to bathe in her warmth and heat. It was frantic and so intense I couldn’t help the tears that tried releasing, when I told her how much I loved her. She still didn’t say it back. Maybe she wasn’t ready. I wouldn’t pressure her, but I needed her to know how much I absolutely, without a doubt loved everything she is. She was special-made just for me. The one thing I knew I could call my own. The only thing I wanted for my own. In this life and the next.