I Love You, Jilly Sanders

by Cindy Lou Daniels

  “What about me?” Cat asked. “I can go.”

  “No,” Tage said. “You can’t go alone, and it would arouse suspicion if you and I showed up together. I mean, what would a beautiful black woman and a young kid be doing traveling together? No offense, Cat, but you’re too classy to be looking for a commune.” Tage grinned at her. “Jilly and I can pretend to be a couple looking for a place to live,” Tage offered. He looked at Gwen. “Do people do that? Go to the commune and ask to be taken in?”

  Gwen nodded. “Yes, but—”

  Cat interrupted. “I hate to say it, but Tage and Jilly are right. If we’re going to do this, they’re the only ones who have a shot at pulling it off.”

  “I’m not sure,” Gwen said. “I’ve already done so much damage. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you two.”

  “We’ve got try,” Jilly said. “We’ll never be able to live with ourselves if we don’t.” And bringing home Shye would be the first step in saving herself, too. She could prove to herself that mothers could be found again.

  “So you don’t have a vote,” Tage told Gwen. “Your part is taking care of Ariana, and waiting for us to bring Shye home. Agreed?” He looked at Cat and Otto, who slowly nodded their heads.

  “The boy is right,” Otto said. “We’ll plan everything out, and they’ll be home Monday morning.”

  “We don’t want to run into Kane, so we’ll have to leave today,” Jilly said. “That gives us today and tomorrow to sell the rings and get to the commune. We’ll make our offer on Sunday and leave directly afterwards with Shye.”

  “Who would we talk with at the commune, Gwen?” Tage asked.

  Gwen lifted Ariana to her shoulder and patted the baby’s back. “There’s a council house and a group of six men that basically run the place. They’re the ones you’ll have to talk to.” Ariana let out a small burp.

  “I was thinking,” Cat added. “Maybe when you offer them the money, you should tell them Kane sent you to buy Shye and the others.” She smiled. “That way when he returns to the commune, he’ll be too embarrassed to deny it, and he won’t be coming back here to bother us.”

  Gwen settled the baby back into the crook of her arm. “You have a point, there,” she said. “Kane’s always wanted to be one of the council members. He wouldn’t want to go back on his ‘word’ in front of them. He’d end up looking like an idiot.”

  Otto snorted. “He’s an idiot, all right. And we’ll tell him so when we see him again on Monday.” He peered over at Jilly and Tage. “But first, you two have to go get that other little girl and bring her home.”

  *

  The brisk weather set their pace for them, their strides eating up distance. They’d spent two hours getting everything prepared for the trip, including a detailed set of directions to the commune from Gwen, and they’d been on the road for three hours. Outside of town, they’d walked for miles before they’d finally hitched a ride with a passing trucker, who took them all the way into Lake Placid. Now they were standing near the outskirts of town, contemplating their next move.

  “We ought to go to a jewelry story,” Jilly said. “That’s where we’re going to get the best offer for the rings.”

  “If we don’t end up in jail,” Tage said. “How many teenagers do you know walk into a jewelry store to sell their diamond rings?” He snorted. “We need to find a pawn shop; I think there’s one in the village.”

  Jilly hunched her shoulders against the wind and followed Tage across the road toward Main Street. She tried not to worry about what would happen once they reached the commune, but nagging thoughts of doom kept darting into her head like poison-tip arrows.

  Gwen had told them they wouldn’t have any trouble getting Shye to go with them. The young girl was used to strangers, and she’d never had a definitive mother with which to bond. For the first time, tears had streamed down Gwen’s face. Leaving her two-year-old daughter had been much more painful for Gwen than it had been for Shye, even though the baby had never totally been Gwen’s responsibility—Gwen hadn’t even been allowed to breast feed her. The babies at the commune were bottle-fed with sterilized goat’s milk, and were given nourishment by whoever happened to be nearby when they were hungry.

  Gwen had looked down at Ariana, who was once again attacking her mother’s nipple with spirited hunger. Jilly had seen the anguish on Gwen’s face without Gwen saying a word. Clearly, she had missed much of the miracle of her first born, and Jilly couldn’t help but wonder if Ariana’s birth had awakened Gwen’s longing for Shye as well as renewed all the mothering instinct she had suppressed for so long.

  The bitter wind made her nose run and she sniffed. Besides Shye, there were other things to worry about, too, including the need to sell Otto’s rings. Tage appeared to know what he was doing, although Jilly suspected he was feeling his way by blind luck.

  The thought of luck made her stomach dip crazily, so she glanced out toward the traffic making its way down the street. Lake Placid was a burgeoning metropolis compared to Briar Rose.

  “Let’s try here,” Tage said, drawing her attention back to the stores lining the main boulevard.

  She looked up and saw Poncho’s Pawns stenciled in black lettering on the plate glass window of the store front. Tage pulled open the door and she followed him inside.

  After the brightness outside, the interior of the store seemed especially gloomy. Poncho—whoever he or she might be—apparently had a full-service shop. There were three guitars hanging on one wall, along with a brassy-looking trumpet and a dull black clarinet. Right beside those was a bookshelf holding tin cups, ceramic mugs, and glass bottles that looked as though spiders had taken up resident within their bellies. A few portraits hung haphazardly beyond the bookshelf, and Jilly wondered who had sat for the paintings.

  Tables were set up in a slapdash manner around the shop, filled with everything from toasters to books. Jilly saw a glowing neon crucifix next to a red plastic sign that said FREE BEER in large black letters and underneath in smaller print Wanted! Somebody had drawn in a smiley face with a blue magic marker next to the exclamation point.

  The proprietor of the shop was a bald man, so thin that if the top of his head had been orange and flat he would have looked exactly like a pencil. “What can I do for you folks today?” he asked when Tage cautiously approached the counter. “You looking to buy or sell?”

  Tage dug into his pocket and brought out the rings wrapped in a white paper towel. “My grandfather sent me to sell these for him.”

  This was the story they agreed upon telling back at the house. Jilly took note of the clerk’s raised eyebrows when the rings tumbled out on the glass-topped counter. His skinny fingers came out and deftly picked up the diamond engagement ring. He raised it up and squinted at it.

  He was quiet for what seemed like a long time, then he lowered the ring and stared at Tage. “You from around here?” the man asked. “What’s your name?”

  Jilly could see Tage’s face. He looked like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck. He swallowed. “My name’s Kane Randolla,” he said.

  Jilly gawked at him.

  The clerk narrowed his eyes. He must have decided he didn’t like what he saw because he pushed the rings back across the counter toward Tage. “I don’t buy rings,” he said flatly.

  Tage scooped them up and jammed them back into his pocket.

  “But you’ve got a bunch of jewelry right there,” Jilly pointed out, her hand waving in front of the glass counter.

  “That’s all right,” Tage said. “We didn’t mean to bother you. Thanks anyway.”

  He grabbed Jilly by the elbow and steered her roughly toward the door.

  Once they were outside, she yanked her arm from his grasp. “What are you doing?” She tugged down the bottom of her coat sleeves. “First you lie and tell him you’re Kane, of all people! And you don’t even argue when—” Tage had taken off down the street. “Hey! Wait up!” Jilly sprinted af
ter him.

  She caught him by the back of his hood, three stores down from Poncho’s Pawns. “I asked you what you were doing!”

  “Just come on,” Tage ordered. “We’ll talk up here.”

  He wouldn’t say another word until they were back across the road and heading out of town.

  “Okay!” Jilly huffed finally. “At least slow down! I can’t even breathe!”

  Tage’s footsteps slowed and he looked down at her. “I’m sorry. I just got a little scared, that’s all.”

  “Of what?”

  “When he asked me my name, the only thing I could think about was my dad. This is the town where he robbed the bank,” Tage reminded her when she looked at him blankly. “And there we were with what he no doubt thought were stolen rings.”

  Understanding dawned on Jilly. “Do you really think he thought we’d stolen them?”

  “What else would he think?” Tage sighed. “I’d think that if I saw two young kids coming to sell wedding rings.”

  The snow crunched under Jilly’s feet. “What are we going to do?” she asked. “We don’t have time to try to find that other money.” She whispered the last two words and glanced around wildly as though she expected the police to come crashing up to arrest them both.

  Tage nodded. “I know.” He looked across the street to check for traffic, then crossed the road again so oncoming traffic was coming from behind them, dragging Jilly along behind him. “I think we should keep going,” he said, a stubborn tone in his voice.

  “But—” Jilly slipped on a patch of ice, caught herself, and said, “How are we going to buy Shye if we don’t have money? What’s the point in going out there?”

  “I don’t know,” Tage shouted at her. “I only know we can’t leave Gwen’s little girl out there! That would be like giving that bastard Ariana!”

  Jilly stared at him in disbelief. But he was right, she knew. This would be their only chance to go to the commune when they knew Kane wouldn’t be around, when they had the element of surprise on their side. Another opportunity like this might never present itself again. Jilly looked up at Tage and grabbed his elbow. “You don’t have to yell,” she said. “We’ll steal her if we have to.”

  Tage drew in a breath. “Are you sure?” he asked. “If you don’t want to go, I’ll go by myself.” His voice wasn’t accusatory; he was simply stating what he felt, leaving the decision up to her.

  The thought of Shye up there in the commune without her mother was more than Jilly could bear. If they could get Shye out and return her to Gwen, Jilly knew it would an omen: if Shye and Gwen were reunited, then Jilly and Jane Sandra would be, too.

  In answer to Tage’s question, Jilly turned around and stuck out her thumb in the age-old hitching gesture. “Let’s go,” she said.

  Tage reached into his pocket and dug out the rings. “You hang onto these for now. We’ll figure out what to do when we get there.”

  Chapter XX.

  They caught a couple of rides, but spent most of the afternoon and evening walking alongside the main highway. Around midnight, Tage found an unlocked car in the back of a small dealership and they crawled into the back seat to sleep.

  “I’m freezing,” Jilly said. Her teeth were chattering and she shivered uncontrollably.

  “We’ll keep each other warm,” Tage told her. “Take off your jacket.”

  “Are you crazy?” Jilly asked. The huff of her breath rose up white in the dim glow sneaking into the car from one of the parking lot lights.

  “I’m serious,” Tage said, twisting around to pull off his own coat. “We’ll snuggle together and use both coats to cover up with; it’ll be a lot warmer.”

  Two minutes later she discovered he was right; their body heat mingled together and the jackets were cozy as blankets. The car was so cramped, she had to sprawl on top of him, her cheek resting against his chest. She could hear the tiny drum of his heart in her ear. It sounded loud in the silence.

  “You okay?” Tage asked. She nodded and he tightened his arms around her. “Try to sleep. We’ll have to get up early before anyone comes to work.”

  “When do you think we’ll get there?” Jilly asked, her eyes drooping shut now that she was warm and comfortable. “I’m not squashing you too much, am I?” she asked, her voice slow and drowsy. The fear she usually felt when being too close to him refused to appear.

  She felt him shake his head, and he said, “If I’m calculating right, and Gwen’s directions are even half-way close, we’ll probably be at the commune sometime in the afternoon.”

  The next thing Jilly felt was Tage shaking her awake in the morning. She crawled out of the car, stiff and sore, and put on her coat. The cold air pinched her nostrils shut.

  Tage bounced from heel to toe, trying to warm up. “Let’s get going,” he said. “We’ll warm up as we move.”

  Jilly felt too chilled to answer him, but she followed him out of the parking lot. A couple of miles later, they reached a gas station. Jilly was happy to see they had a small snack counter inside. “Let’s get some coffee,” she said. “I’ve got enough money for that.”

  “I’ve got twelve dollars,” Tage told her.

  They had planned on using some of the money from the sale of the rings to rent a room for the night and to buy food; Otto would be livid if he ever found out they stayed the night in a freezing cold car instead of coming home. The warm air made Jilly’s cheeks tingle when she stepped inside, and she sighed with pleasure.

  “You okay?” Tage asked.

  She nodded.

  “Do you want to make us both a cup of coffee and maybe grab us each a donut?” he asked. “I want to talk to the clerk.”

  “Okay,” Jilly agreed.

  She watched out of the corner of her eye as Tage paid for two coffees and two donuts, and said casually, “You wouldn’t happen to know of a commune around here, would you?”

  The clerk, a middle-aged woman wearing a bright purple turtleneck sweater, twisted her lips. “I know of it,” she said. “Those people don’t come around much.”

  “Is it far from here?” Tage asked.

  Jilly noticed the woman’s name tag said arcy. Apparently the first letter of her name had worn off. Could she be Marcy? Carcy? Darcy? Jilly knew it didn’t matter at all what this woman’s name was, but her curiosity was aroused. She carried the coffee and the donuts up to the counter and stood next to Tage.

  “It’s about ten miles down the road,” the woman said, her voice curt.

  Jilly smiled at her. “We think somebody we know is there,” she said.

  “Well, if you want my advice you’ll stay away from there.”

  “Oh, we’re not going to stay there very long,” Jilly said. “What kind of place is it, anyway?”

  Arcy, or whatever her name was, tried to look as though she didn’t want to say anything, but the temptation to gossip was obviously too strong. “Those hippies are a bunch of kooks,” she confided. “They live up there in that hell hole, no electricity, no bathrooms, no nothing! They aren’t a part of this community, and if we had our way,” she said darkly, “they’d all be forced out! If I were you two, I’d be real careful up there!”

  Jilly shot Tage a look. “Well, thank you, Miss—Miss—”

  “Oh, my name’s Rosetta Carisole,” she said. She pointed to her name tag.

  “Arcy. Get it? One of the girls I work with made me this name tag.”

  Jilly giggled. She got it. “Thanks, R.C. We’ll be careful.”

  “We better get going,” Tage said.

  Jilly smiled at the clerk again, and said goodbye. She followed Tage outside, carrying her coffee and donut.

  “What was that all about?” Tage asked once the door shut behind them.

  Jilly shrugged. “You were being too secretive,” she said. “She could tell we were up to something, so I let her know we weren’t troublemakers. Besides, who knows what’s going to happen up there?” She nodded her head toward the road. “It might not be a bad i
dea to know somebody’s name.”

  Steam rose from Tage’s cup, and he sipped at the hot liquid. “I guess we better figure out what we’re going to do,” he said. “Any ideas?”

  Jilly took a bite of her donut and shook her head. They were quiet as they finished eating and drinking.

  “I guess,” Tage said finally, “we’ll stick to the original plan as much as possible, only instead of cash, we’ll offer them the rings. They can sell them easier than we can.”

  The idea seemed weak at best, but since Jilly couldn’t think of another idea to replace it, she agreed. They walked briskly, the cold morning sun warming up slightly as they made their way down the road.

  It seemed like a very short time later they came upon the cluster of cabins settled up in the side of the mountainous terrain. They were shabby and dark and Jilly swallowed nervously as she looked at them. Tage reached out and took her hand and they made their way to the largest building.

  Three children, playing outside, watched them approach, and then took off running toward the door.

  “We’re about to be announced,” Tage said as the children rushed inside.

  Two minutes later a burly man appeared in the doorway filling the square silhouette completely. He wore his hair long and a bushy black beard covered his face. He watched them coming closer, not speaking, but staring at them with his reptilian eyes.

  Jilly squeezed Tage’s hand. This was no time to fall apart, but she felt a tremor sweep over her skin leaving her with goosebumps.

  “What can I do you for?” the man said. He made no effort to step away from the entrance.

  “We’re looking for a place to stay,” Tage said, his voice reasonable. “We heard about this place from a friend of ours, but when we asked about it in town we were chased out of the gas station.”

  The man’s lower jaw came out as he stared at them. Jilly felt the barely perceptible press of Tage’s hand warning her to stay quiet.