I didn’t care who heard us. My body was already straining to find release again and I knew without that hand muffling the sound I’d never be able to restrain my cries of ecstasy. His other hand gripped my hip tightly and I knew there’d probably be a bruise there tomorrow as he rode me like a man possessed.
My body stretched to accommodate his large width and I’d never felt so consumed in my life. Each slide of his length inside me was such torturous pleasure that I whimpered against his hand as he retreated. So close again, my mind screamed. I wondered if a person could die from pleasure.
I felt his release deep in my womb and I fell over the edge of bliss again, milking every ounce of desire he had as I was consumed with my own. His groin ground against the soft double moons of my flesh for what seemed like eternity before he slid free. I couldn’t move, even as his hands released me I lay panting over the desk trying to catch my breath.
I heard the sound of his zipper being raised in the now silence of the room. My body felt like complete mush and I knew I should feel something except complete fulfillment, but I could find the energy.
He moved around the room, gathering up my clothes. I somehow managed to lift myself up and once I was standing I noticed he was holding out my panties. Reaching for them, he shook his head no and knelt down instead so I could step into them.
I was soaked with my juices and him and sliding the silky wisp of silk back on made me even more conscious of it. “Bathroom?” I spoke softly trying not to overthink what had just happened.
He motioned with his head toward the side and I was thankful there was one in his office. Walking back there my legs were still shaking with the force of our joining. I lowered my panties again and wet a few paper towels in the sink. Cleaning myself quickly, I marveled at the ache of my sex.
Was it normal to still feel that? I had no idea but it was a slight discomfort in comparison to the pleasure I’d received. Undoing the clasp that held my hair I quickly redid it and glanced back into the small mirror. I looked flushed and pleased, but not like I’d just had the most incredible sex with the boss.
Making my way back into the office I noticed him holding up my skirt and I quickly let him finish dressing me. The self-doubts started then. What we’d done was wrong but I’d been as helpless to resist him as I had been since the moment we met. I wasn’t sure how to deal with my emotions.
“Don’t overthink this, Laura.” His hands lifted to each side of my face and he lowered his lips to mine for a brief kiss. “There’s nothing wrong with us wanting each other.”
Maybe not for him, but I knew what he thought of me. “I’m yours until the end of the week.” I needed to speak the words out loud because the tenderness in his gaze had me close to tears. I couldn’t allow myself to forget what this was. I’d made my bed and I wasn’t going to back out, but I would never allow myself to think he actually cared.
His face could have been carved in stone the way his expression changed. “I just want to make sure I get my moneys’ worth.”
Even though his words hurt I managed a nod. This was the man I needed to see if I was going to survive this. “Do you have anything else you need?” I had to get out of this office before I allowed him to see how deeply the truth cut into my soul.
“No. I expect you to be ready at eight Friday morning and I shouldn’t need your services again before then.” He strode back to his desk and sat down. Picking up the phone he didn’t spare me another look and I somehow managed to walk out of his office with my head held high.
Telling myself that this was all I could expect I contained my feelings at least on the outside. Taylor’s driver waited with an open door as I exited the building and with a fortitude I didn’t know I possessed, I forced myself to accept the ride.
This would all be over soon and I could move forward with my life plans. The thoughts were my mantra as I was driven home because they were all that held me together. I don’t know what I expected when I was summoned to his office, but secretly I guess I’d wanted what he gave me. It didn’t make me feel any better about myself. My body was satiated but my heart was withering away.
chapter Fourteen
Unhinged
Ashley and Jimmy came over Thursday night and we pigged out in front of the television. It was a distraction I desperately needed knowing that my last weekend with Taylor was still ahead of me. By Friday morning I wasn’t even sure I could go through with the trip.
Something inside me was broken and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to fix it again. Ashley had stayed over and I tried to act like I wasn’t going to fall apart at any moment. She knew me well and demanded that I take a hot bath and relax while she threw together some canned soup. I didn’t have the nerve to tell her I wasn’t physically ill, but heart sick.
I wasn’t running a fever and the hot bath helped at least soothe my tense muscles. Wrapped in a huge robe I wearily made my feet move me into the kitchen. Soup for breakfast was a new one, and I managed a grin of thanks as I dutifully spooned it into my mouth.
The warmth of the broth made me feel a little better but I knew that what was wrong with me couldn’t be fixed with chicken soup. I couldn’t deal with what I was willing to do for money. It wasn’t the type of person I was and inside it was destroying a part of me that might never heal. The doorbell rang and my body tensed knowing exactly who was standing on the other side.
“Finish your soup.” Ashley was in mother hen mode and I nodded my head wearily. I watched her walk toward the door and knew I had to hurry because I still hadn’t packed. Maybe subconsciously I never planned on making the trip with Taylor.
“Laura isn’t feeling well. I think you need to postpone this trip.” Hearing Ashley confront Taylor was almost enough to make me smile, almost.
“I’d like to see her.” He sounded almost concerned and my heart ached even more. I’d make this decision and somehow I was going to go through with it. Standing up I felt a wave of dizziness almost overwhelm me, forcing me to grip the island bar for support.
Ashley and Taylor were arguing and it was comical but I knew she didn’t stand a chance against his will.
“Why didn’t you call and tell me you weren’t feeling well.” His accusing tone was enough to send me over the edge and tears filled my eyes.
“Good job asshole.” Ashley wrapped her arm around my waist, supporting me and I wiped my eyes not wanting him to see me cry.
“Fuck Laura.” He pushed Ashley out of the way and lifted me into his arms before I could take another breath. Walking me over to the couch, he deposited me gently and knelt down in front of me. “Where are you hurting?” His hand went to my forehead, pressing it against my skin then moved to cup my chin so I’d meet his eyes.
“I’m fine.” I whispered the words, embarrassed to know that my emotions had brought me to this.
“Do you want me to ditch class today?” Ashley was standing behind Taylor and looking at me in concern.
“Seriously, I’m fine Ash. I know you’ve got finals this week.” I was going to continue when she looked ready to argue but Taylor cut in.
“I’ll take care of her.” His tone was abrupt and demanded no arguments. I caught Ashley’s glare at him and my lips lifted involuntarily.
“I promise, I’ll be fine.” She looked at me indecisively then back at Taylor again before nodding.
“I’ll keep my cell on. If you need anything, call me!” I could tell that being around Taylor made her uncomfortable. He just had that effect on people. I nodded and formed a tentative smile.
She left and I felt nervous being alone with him. He was still kneeling in front of me and I looked everywhere but at his face.
“You don’t have a fever. Tell me what’s bothering you honey. I don’t know how to help unless you speak to me.”
The gentleness of his tone was my undoing and the tears streamed down my cheeks. How could I explain to him what was wrong when I didn’t truly understand it myself. “I don’t know!” Buryin
g my face in my hands, I couldn’t stop the sobs that wracked my frame. I just wanted to sink into my own mental anguish and stop fighting against all the emotions that bombarded me at every turn.
“Baby don’t cry.” I felt him sit beside me on the couch and lift me into his lap. Taylor holding me this way wasn’t helping. He wasn’t supposed to be nice. He was a cold, unfeeling bastard who only wanted to use my body and throw me away. The self-pity train was rolling and I couldn’t seem to gain control. Clinging to him I held on tightly waiting for the ride to end.
“You’re killing me here Laura. I want to help, but I don’t know how.” His hand stroked my hair and his other wrapped around my waist keeping me snuggled against him with his strength.
Forever passed and the sobs receded, leaving hiccups in their place. “I don’t want to be your whore.” I whispered the words against his chest like a child who petulantly refused to be what a parent demanded.
He stiffened beneath me and I waited for him to throw me off his lap and scream at me. “Are you saying you don’t want me? This is why you’re so upset?” His hand reached down and smoothed the hair from my face before lifting my chin to meet his eyes again.
“I do want you. I just don’t want to do what we’re doing.” I didn’t know how to make him understand how cheap I felt taking money for sex.
“What have I done?” His large hand went back to caressing my hair and he shook his head. “I never thought you were one baby. Okay maybe at first when I offered you help, but then I discovered how innocent you truly were. I hate myself for doing this to you.”
I didn’t know what to say to him. He’d slept with me and I couldn’t deny enjoying it. He gave me a place to live, employed me, and made it pretty clear about what he needed in a relationship. Now he wasn’t making any sense.
“You have to understand that my father screwed my mother over so many times that she could barely function in the real world. I picked her up each time he had an affair and watched her sink into clinical depression until I hated him. When I first met you all I could think about was her not surviving another let down.”
The Lenny I knew had been kind and generous with his advice so it was hard for me to relegate him to this monster he was describing. “He never hit on me. Lenny told me that the only way I could fix my life was by working hard to make my dreams come true.” Sniffling I looked up confused. Seeing the pain in his eyes made mine ease a little. The smile that found his beautiful face was sad and I wanted to wipe it away.
“Maybe he had changed, but when my mother and I saw your name in the will I guess both of our fears that he was cheating again came to the forefront. I’m so sorry you got hurt by all this.”
His finger caressed over my cheeks, wiping away the last trace of tears. “I swore I’d never become emotionally dependent on any person after watching the hell my mother suffered. The truth is I wanted you and I couldn’t see any other way to have you on my terms except for making you something you could never be.”
“I wanted you too.” Lowering my eyes, embarrassed by admitting that again, I pressed my cheek into his chest. “I wish I could be what you needed, but I don’t think I can.” Physically our bodies were perfect together but my heart was already involved and to continue this would only break me completely in the end.
“You are what I need, but I don’t think I can be enough to make you happy. Baby I’m not a hearts and flowers guy. All I know how to do is pleasure you. It kills me seeing you in pain and if me being here with you does that, then I’ll walk away.” He pressed me tightly against his chest and I could hear the agony in his words.
A world without Taylor. It wasn’t what I wanted. “I’m not sure I can let you.” The thought of never being held like this again, enjoying the passion that he ignited in my body, or even listening to him demand what he wanted from me was something I wasn’t ready to lose.
“We’re royally fucked then baby.” His self-derisive laugh made me long to comfort him.
“Make love to me Taylor.” I needed him that way. If it was all he could offer then at least it was some small recompense to soothe the ache I felt inside. Lifting my head from his chest I met his lips and kissed him without restraint.
He kissed me back and I was shocked at the tenderness of his mouth against mine. My arms wrapped around his neck and I straddled him on the couch. His hands smoothed up and down my back as our tongues danced together consuming all the pain and loss. Breaking the kiss my hands moved to the buttons on his dress shirt, eyes never leaving his face as I undid each one.
“I wish I could offer you everything your heart desired.” His hands caught mine as I pried apart the material and he lifted them, kissing each knuckle with tenderness.
“Right now I need you.” Lowering my head my lips found his neck and I softly brushed them against his flesh, inhaling his scent deeply. He released my hands and arched his head back letting me explore with my mouth.
“I’m no good for you.” He released the words on a heartfelt sigh and I knew he truly believed what he was saying. His broad shoulders sagged and I understood that there was much more to this complex man than someone with my limited experience could understand.
Without thought I moved my hands down to the sash of my bathrobe, quickly untied it, and then slid it from my shoulders. I was wearing nothing underneath and for the first time I felt no embarrassment exposing my body. “Make me feel.” The husky demand I gave filled me with nothing but more need. Taking his hands I guided them to my breasts.
He lifted their weight and his fingers grazed over the pebbled peaks. Groaning softly, I closed my eyes and refused to think about anything but the pleasure his touch gave. My hips gyrated against his and I knew he wanted me even if his words denied that he was good enough.
I gasped when his hands moved under my ass and he lifted me while standing. Wrapping my legs around his waist I held on tightly. With long strides he made it to my bedroom and lowered me down upon the unmade softness carefully. I watched as he stripped, raising up on my elbows to take in every delicious inch of flesh as it was revealed.
His body was like a sculpted work of art, all sinewy muscles of perfection. Reaching my hands up he joined me and our bodies fit together as if they were made to be one. “I’ll give you everything I have.” Rolling me under him I lifted into a sitting position, his cock hard and throbbing against my folds.
With my hand I surrounded the silken steel and raised only to place him where I ached. “All I want is you, Taylor.” Pushing down my core enveloped him slowly until I was so full I felt completely consumed.
His soft grunt of pleasure was all I needed to make me move. With untrained skill I lifted and lowered using the only guide I had, my own pleasure. His hands rested on my hips, letting me lead our dance and I watched his face amazed that my untutored flesh could bring him such rapture.
Controlling our lovemaking was empowering and it was even sweeter because I knew that he loved being the one to make demands. Using what little knowledge I had from our earlier trysts I quickened my pace trying to please him the way he’d shown me he enjoyed.
There was no awkwardness in taking him this way. The push and pull of his cock inside focused my mind on only one thing. He liked it hard and fast and I discovered that even with the way he stretched me to the edge of almost pain I wanted the same thing. I couldn’t quite get the same momentum he did though and it frustrated me. “Help me, Taylor.”
His guttural groan almost made me come instantly. “You’re going to be the death of me baby.” A forced chuckle escaped his lips as I attempted to ravage his body the way he had mine. “Get off your knees and on your feet.”
His teeth gnashed together as I lifted my body and stood on the bed precariously. “Now lower down into a squat and take me inside you again.” I’d never heard him so gruff before and I could tell that he was dying to take control again.
I did as he asked and gasped as I filled myself with him. Raising up I found that this w
ay I had all the momentum I needed to ride him hard, with trial and error I discovered the rhythm. I was fucking him. The thought filled me with enough confidence that I didn’t slow down until I came undone and screamed out his name loudly.
Without warning he flipped me over, tossing both my legs over his shoulders and driving home. I’d never felt him so deep before and all I could do to cry out as he dominated my body with each thrust. Within moments I was reaching toward that plateau again and I was amazed at how good it felt to let him take control. Enjoying him was fun, but being consumed by his expertise was sheer nirvana.
Making love had flown right out the window when our bodies came together. I didn’t want the sweetness any more than he did here and I reveled in his mastery. Each powerful thrust had me closer to the edge and I was greedy. “More!” Digging my nails into his back I urged him on until I didn’t have the strength to do more than feel.
My body shattered into a quivering mass of flesh and I felt him find release almost simultaneously. He strained against me and I held on tight wanting every ounce of his desire to be mine. A tremor moved through him and I smiled knowing I had pleased him.
Keeping our bodies joined, he rolled me under him again. His hands gripped my ass keeping us pressed together and I rested my face against his smooth chest in contentment. It felt odd to feel him softening inside me but in a good way.
We rested that way for long minutes catching our breath. The emptiness I’d felt earlier was washed away by our urges. Content. That how I felt now and it was a feeling I never wanted to let go of.
“I’m not letting you leave me.” His words were spoken softly and the grip tightened on my ass.
I didn’t want to leave. Being with him like this was the only time I felt like a whole person. “Then don’t.” I whispered the words against his chest, nuzzling my cheek against his now damp flesh.
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