by Sienna Parks
Chapter Seven
MADDOX
I’ve been kicking myself for days. How could I give in so easily? If this were Jackson, I would’ve given him no end of shit, and he’s making sure I know how badly I fucked up. I should’ve kept my mouth shut, but this… thing… with A.B. has been on my mind 24/7 – a loop of guilt and frustration, and downright bewilderment.
I’ve been working non-stop since I walked out of the stable that night, trying to distract myself from the glaring truth I’ve been running from for years. Every time I close my eyes, I feel her lips on mine, and the way her curls coiled around my wrist. For a brief moment, I forgot about all of the pain and anger she caused, and lost myself in the sensation of her sweet skin pressed firmly against my chest. But, as soon as she reached for my jeans, it was like someone had poured a bucket of cold water on my junk.
For her to be the aggressor; to be the one calling the shots on our inferno of a reunion – filled me with rage. I knew I was making a mistake the minute our lips met. Dang, I knew from the moment she walked through the stable doors. But I felt that she was on my stomping ground. My terms. But, to have her think, for even a moment, that she can just waltz back into town and snap her fingers and I’ll come begging – well, that makes me madder than an alligator in a bathtub.
To add insult to injury, the minute I got back in the house, I walked straight into a cold shower. I didn’t even stop to take my jeans off, but even after five minutes of freezing water, I was still hard as a fucking rock. Rubbing one out to the image of her panting and desperate for me to fuck her – was humiliating. I felt like that horny eighteen-year-old who would do anything she asked, for one stroke of her hand on my cock.
My thoughts these past few days have been confused, at best. There’s a fine line between love and hate – and I have walked that tightrope, in anguished rage, many times since Annabeth left me. I know that part of me will always belong to her; will always love her. But, over time, dismay gave way to anger, and anger became bitterness. My view of women was always a jaded one – trust is something to be earned, and my mom taught me that love and loyalty don’t necessarily go hand in hand. With Annabeth, it was different. She had been a part of me since my earliest memories. I ignored the little voice of caution and gave her my heart with reckless abandon. When she left, she took that hope and crushed it underfoot.
The situation with Sam was entirely my fault. I knew she was a flight risk, it’s one of the reasons I was attracted to her in the first place – no strings, no commitments. Our relationship was mutually beneficial. I had a hot girl to party with and enjoy my success with. She had the status she craved. There was never any doubt in my mind – we were completely wrong for each other. If I hadn’t been so careless, our relationship would have burned out within a year. And yet, I hate to use the word careless, because I was blessed with Rae, and I know with absolute certainty that I was destined to be her daddy. She made everything else worthwhile; the heartache, loss, and betrayal.
Rae is the reason I can’t stand the sight of myself in the mirror right now. I jeopardized our status quo, and my own sanity, for five minutes of thinking with my dick. It may have been a fun trip down memory lane for Annabeth – some closure of our relationship. But, for me… it was so much more, and I guess that’s why I reacted so harshly.
“Boy, you going to stay in that head of yours all day, or you gonna help me bale this hay?” My dad has been riding my ass for days.
“How about you give me a fucking break?”
“Don’t you talk back to me, boy. I will still beat your ass up and down this field.”
“In your dreams. I would end you with one punch, old man. So, why don’t you get out of my face and stop acting like you have any say in my life. You need me here.”
“You seem to forget that I’m the one that took you in when Sam left you. I’m the one that put a roof over your head and helped you with Rae.”
“Bullshit! I run this fucking place. You never did anything out of the goodness of your heart. You don’t even have one. No wonder momma ran out on us. Pops is the only father I’ve ever had. You were too busy with this damn ranch to notice. I came here for him. Rae and I would have been just fine on our own.” His shock turns to anger. The deep-set lines of his brow, furrowed tight.
“You ungrateful... Your momma was a no-good piece of trash, just like Sam, and just like Annabeth. She fucked you up real good boy, and you’re letting her do it all over again. If it wasn’t for me, you’d never have amounted to anything. And look at you now – gave up the only thing you were good at because you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants. Now you’re saddled with a kid, no woman, and no prospects. You’ll get what I leave you when I’m gone – your future and the future of this ranch, is all because of me.”
“Fuck you, Bobby. I’m nothing like you! I’m not saddled with Rae. See, that’s the difference between us. You always saw me as a burden. My daughter is a fucking gift, and don’t you forget it.” His eyes soften; regret evident as he struggles to find the words. I know he loves Rae – he’s never looked at her with anything but love and affection. None of the contempt I’m used to when he bothers to acknowledge me. “I’ll bale the hay later. I’m going to take Rae out riding. Honestly, I can’t stand the sight of you right now.” I trudge through the field, leaving him speechless and alone.
“Faster, Daddy! Faster!”
Rae is full of beans today. Same as every other day. The moment I lifted her into my arms, all of my anger disintegrated. She’s a special soul, and I’m not just saying that because I’m her daddy. Everyone who meets her falls in love. Her spirit and innocent joy is so endearing. “Don’t tell me. Tell Artemis.”
Her laughter echoes through the trees. “Faster, Arty! Faster! Gid-up!”
Artemis responds, just as enthralled by Rae, as we speed through the forest and out into the field. My heart sinks as the hay bales come into view on the horizon. I told him I would do it later. He’d break his back just to spite me - cantankerous old coot.
I head for the stables, my anger returning with a vengeance. Jax is busy breaking in a new Mustang. This one is as wild as they come, powerful and breathtaking to watch. He’s got his work cut out for him, but his will is stronger than any untamed horse.
When he’s finished for the day, he quickly finds his way to Rae. “How’s my little buddy today?”
“Daddy and me were riding Arty for a long time. He was so fast!” She readily jumps into his arms.
“I’m glad you had fun, Sunshine. I thought you were hanging with Pops today.” She turns to me with a puzzled gaze.
“I wanted to spend the day with my daughter. Is that a crime?” He sees right through my defensive reply.
“Hey, Rae. You wanna go get ice-cream with me?”
He turns to me, a knowing look in his eye. “Whatever you two are fighting about now, go and fix it.”
“He’s just being same old Bobby. Derogatory and condescending at every turn. Making out like I’d be nothing without him and this ranch. I made my money on the circuit. I was a fucking champion. I’m not exactly hard up. Old man is acting like Rae would be living in poverty if it wasn’t for him.”
He grabs my shoulder. “You know the truth, Mad. You chose to come back here for Rae. You and I both know that this ranch has grown exponentially since we partnered up. You did the right thing for your daughter. Nothing he says is ever going to change that. You can’t keep letting him get to you.”
“Easier said than done. I feel like I can’t breathe on this ranch, or in this damn town.”
“Is this about A.B.?”
“No! My life doesn’t revolve around a girl I dated more than a decade ago. I’m just fed up having my dad standing over me all the time, his disappointment dripping from every word we exchange. I’m thirty-two years old and a single dad – I want some space to… live my own life.”
“Well, go and tell him that. I’m going to take this little one to clean up and th
en go out for a few hours.”
I plant a kiss on Rae’s soft little cheek and head out to the field to find my dad. With my hands tucked into the worn-out pockets of my jeans, I scuff my boots through the brush, following the trail of newly baled hay. The loud hum of the baler rumbles in my chest, and my dad comes into view. He’s resting at the side of the oversized piece of machinery – he looks tiny by comparison. My mind churns with the many things I want to say to him. Jax is right – I need to stand up and own my independence.
“Hey, Dad. Can we talk for a minute? I’m sorry I stormed off earlier – I’ve had stuff on my mind lately.” He ignores me. “Seriously? The silent treatment? This is a first. You’ve always got plenty to say.”
As I draw closer, I notice the sweat on his brow, and the pallor of his skin. I race to his side, dropping to my knees. The sharp, freshly cut hay jabs into my knees. “Dad. Can you hear me?” His breathing is shallow, the rise and fall of his chest barely noticeable. He doesn’t respond; doesn’t open his eyes.
“Jax! Pops!” I shout as loud as I can, hoping to get their attention. “Jackson!”
I grab my phone from my pocket and dial 911 as fast as my shaking hands will let me. “Hold on, Dad. I’m going to get help. Just stay with me.”
I need an ambulance. My dad seems to have collapsed. I don’t know what happened. I just found him. I wasn’t here…
I tell the stranger on the other end of the line where to find us. She then calmly talks me through the steps to keep my dad comfortable until the ambulance arrives. We don’t have a hospital here in town, so I know I’m in for an excruciating wait. When she tells me the paramedics are twenty minutes out, I just about lose my shit. It’s the fucking 21st century! How can any town, no matter how small, be so far away from medical intervention?
As soon as I hang up the phone, I dial Jax.
Get down to the baler, now! Dad’s collapsed. He’s not responding to me.
The line goes dead, and within seconds I see Jax sprinting out of the house, leaving Pops holding Rae in his arms on the porch. I don’t want either of them to see my dad like this. As he grinds to a halt in front of me, my worst fears are confirmed – it’s bad.
Without a word, he holds his phone to his ear. “Where are you?” I don’t even know who he’s talking to right now. “Good. Get to the ranch, now. Bobby collapsed in the hay field, south corner, next to the baler. Hurry.” He drops his phone into the brush, focusing his attention on me.
“What happened? Is he breathing? Have you called an ambulance?” He’s rattled at the sight of my dad.
“I called the ambulance, but they said it will be twenty minutes before they get here. I don’t know what happened. I found him like this. He’s breathing, but barely. He hasn’t opened his eyes once.”
Jax jumps up into the cockpit of the tractor and switches it off, before cutting the engine on the baler. The abrupt silence that surrounds us is eerie. Usually I’m inundated with the sounds of nature, but it’s as if the birds in the trees, and the crickets in the grass, know that something is wrong.
“Is Doc Barnes on his way?” I assume that’s who he called.
“A.B. will be here in two minutes. She was on a house-call at the Wentworth farm so she’s close.”
“I want Doc Barnes. He knows what he’s doing! This is my dad we’re talking about, Jax.”
“A.B. is a surgeon, Mad. She can help.”
“She moved back to this hellhole, she can’t be that great at her job. Call Barnes, now.” Tires screech through the gates, gravel churning into dust in a whirlwind of haste.
I can’t take my eyes off my dad, willing him to open his eyes or show any sign that he knows I’m here. My fingers remain firmly on his wrist, his pulse faint but steady. Jax runs back to meet A.B. and show her where we are. I hazard a glimpse to the porch. Rae is sobbing, struggling to free herself from Pops’ grasp. He fights to hold onto her, but he looks frail all of a sudden – he looks his age in this moment. She breaks free, making a beeline for me. “Daddy!” Her tiny voice is filled with fear; something I’ve never heard before.
Pops tries to catch up with her, his features etched with concern that only a father could understand. For the minutes that have felt like hours to me, he’s been shielding my daughter as his own son lies in a field. Jax manages to intercept Rae, scooping her up into his arms, immediately clutching her head to his chest, ensuring she doesn’t see her granddaddy. He quickly points A.B. in my direction and heads for the house, trying to calm Rae as she screams my name.
A.B. hurries past Pops as he fights his aging body with every stride to get to his son. In an instant, she seems to get further and further away from us; the medical bag in her hand, becoming more distant with every second that passes. I can’t feel it – his pulse – it’s stopped. I search frantically, convinced it’s my mistake. Placing my fingers on the side of his neck, I wait with baited breath for the tiniest flutter of hope.
I try to shout. To beg A.B. to run faster. To help him – to help me! I quickly place my hand over his chest to feel the slightest movement of his lungs filling with air… but one second turns into two, and three becomes an eternity. The strangled plea that echoes through the air is unrecognizable to me. “A.B. I need you! He’s not breathing.” I watch in horror as the sentence escaping my mouth, registers on Pops’ face. He drops to his knees in the middle of the field, an anguished cry rising to the sky, begging God for his mercy.
A.B. doesn’t turn back to help him, her focus solely on getting to us. There is an unspoken conversation between us as she sets to work. Bobby is family to her. No matter what has transpired between us, it’s all forgotten in this moment.
“Open my bag. There should be a blue pump that looks kind of like a football. Grab it.” I do as she asks without hesitation. She is busy assessing him, checking for a pulse, listening for breath sounds. Within seconds she’s straddling his broad frame, her fingers interlinking before pressing down on his chest with determination, counting as she goes. “Maddox, I need you to tilt your dad’s head back slightly. It will open his airway. Then, I need you to put the mask over his mouth and nose. When I say so, I need you to squeeze the bag.”
I’ve never seen her in action like this. I have… hope. Hope that she can save him.
“Squeeze.”
Sweat drips from her brow with the intense effort it takes to pump my dad’s heart through his chest.
“Squeeze.” She quickly checks for any signs that he’s coming back to us. “Come on, Bobby. Work with me. You’re strong, you can do this.” The force of her compressions is brutal. My dad suddenly seems smaller. The imposing ogre I’ve always seen him as, disappears, and a mortal man lies in his place. “Squeeze.”
Pops appears at my side, tears rolling down his face as he watches A.B. fight for his son with everything she has. Sirens blare in the distance. The cavalry is on its way. A.B. doesn’t flinch, her focus like a laser beam. Pops moves to my dad’s side and slowly sits down beside him, taking his limp hand in a tight grasp. “You listen here, Bobby Hale. No man should see his son go before him. That’s a cross I cannot bear. It’s not your time, boy. You hear me? Today is not the day that your momma gets to see you again.” He lifts his head to the sky. “God, you already have the woman I loved more than any other. You can’t have my son. Not today. Not while there’s breath in my body.”
A.B.’s voice cuts through the pain. “Squeeze.”
Two paramedics come running toward us. A.B. continues chest compressions, shouting orders to the paramedics. “He lost vitals eleven minutes ago. Looks like he had a massive heart attack. We don’t know how long ago. His son found him twenty minutes ago, but he had a steady pulse, breath was shallow.”
“Ma’am, let us assess the patient, please. You’ve done the right thing.”
“I know that! I’m a goddamn cardiothoracic surgeon. Charge the paddles to two hundred, and prepare a shot of thrombolytic. We’re running out of time.”
The
y snap into action, following her directions to the letter. A beeping noise pierces through the haze I find myself in. “Clear!”
A.B. jumps off my dad, pulling me, together with the airbag, out of his reach. Her arms are wrapped tight around my body. The paramedics shock him. His body rising violently from the ground before dropping back down. A.B. lets go and checks my dad for a heartbeat. I scramble round to Pops, his strained cries, causing a physical lump in my throat. I have no words. I simply pull him into my arms, praying I can give him some comfort as we wait – helpless and afraid.
“Where’s the thrombolytic? Charge to three hundred.”
One of the paramedics hands her a syringe. I hadn’t even noticed he’d been working on my dad, putting tubes in his arm for something. She injects the clear liquid before the beeping starts again. “Clear!”
As we wait with baited breath, my dad’s body lifts off the ground before slamming back down on the short, harsh hay. I watch as A.B. searches, yet again, for any sign that my dad is still alive. Her head drops, to her chest in defeat…
Chapter Eight
ANNABETH
I can’t give up… I can’t let him die. I can do this. I straddle Bobby once more, resuming compressions. “Don’t just stand there like statues. Grab the air bag and help me. Get the adrenaline!” The paramedics just stand there, looking at me.
“It’s not going to help. He’s gone, Miss.”
“DOCTOR Clark. Didn’t you hear me? I’m a fucking heart surgeon. Get the adrenaline, or I’ll do it myself!” When they still don’t move, I quickly rifle through their kit to find what I need. I remove the needle cover with my teeth, find the right spot and plunge it into his heart. Maddox is holding Pops, who is overcome with grief. This can’t be how this plays out. I resort to mouth-to-mouth in between compressions, all the while, the paramedics pleading with me to call it.