Mustang Daddy - A Single Daddy, Small Town Second Chance Romance

by Sienna Parks

  “Just how dirty are you?” I press my fingers between her cheeks and she backs into them without flinching.

  “You can take me anywhere you want, honey.” Fucking perfect.

  I rip open the foil packet with my teeth and slide the condom over my rock-hard cock, before spreading her cheeks and pressing into her, one hard inch at a time. When I’m seated to the hilt, I thrust two fingers into her pussy, massaging her clit with my thumb.

  “Oh God… you’re so big.”

  “Yeah… you like that? Enjoy the fucking ride.” I hammer into her, taking what I need, telling myself over and over that this is who I am, that this is what I want – dirty, hot sex, with no strings attached.

  It doesn’t take long for her to spiral over the edge into an intense climax, her pussy clenching around my fingers; her ass, tight as a fucking drum around my cock. I chase my own release, pounding into her over and over again as she begs me for more - and when it comes, it’s sweet fucking relief. All of my pent-up anger and heartbreak, momentarily forgotten.

  As soon as I’m done, it all comes crashing back, and I’m ready to get the fuck out of Dodge, but she has other ideas.

  “What’s your name?”

  “None of your goddamn business, sweetheart. If you didn’t need to know it before I fucked you up the ass, you don’t need to know now.” I give her a swift kiss on the lips before striding out of the alley without another word.

  I hate what I’ve become. I’m not a player anymore; over the past month I’ve become something much worse. I’m a completely different person. Before I met Addi I slept around, but I always treated women with respect and was very upfront about what I wanted. Now I’m just another dickhead that uses women and discards them for kicks – I’ve turned into… Gavin.

  That realization rocks me to my core. I’m disgusted by my own depravity. I’ve become the one thing I promised Addi I would never be. I don’t fucking deserve her… I never did. She was right to leave me, to move on, to find someone that is incapable of sinking to the depths that I just did.

  When I get back in my car, it’s at least fifteen minutes before my body stops vibrating and I’m able to put the key in the ignition and leave the love of my life behind, in the arms of another man; a better man than me.

  I check into my hotel just long enough to wash off the blood that’s covering my hands, and the stench of the redhead from the alley. I change my clothes and put my T-shirt in the trash. When I’m happy that I don’t look like a homicidal maniac I check out, and make my way to the airport to catch the next flight back to New York which doesn’t leave for five hours. It’s torture to be so close to Addi and know that I can never have her.

  The time passes so slowly, I think I’ll lose my sanity, everything about the past few hours playing over and over in my head. The image of Addi in the arms of another man is burned into my retinas. I can’t escape it, and I can’t bear to keep reliving it. I think about the last month of my life and how I can’t keep doing this to myself and to the people around me. As much as I want to lose myself in the bottom of a bottle of Jack, I need to at least try to hold it together. I know I can’t move on – that will never be an option for me, but I can put on a front, I can stop drinking, I can stop womanizing, I can make it seem to the outside world like I’m doing okay, and maybe one day, years from now, I might start to believe it myself.

  When I’m finally sitting in my window seat on the plane, I watch as Dallas becomes a spec below me. The possibility of the future I came here to salvage, lost beneath the clouds. A dream that was never meant to be.

  ADDI

  Two Weeks Later

  My heart swells in my chest as I read and reread the email Lily sent me a few weeks ago. She’s been working flat out in her free time writing her first novel, and it’s finally ready to release. Of course, she refused Xander’s help to get it published, instead opting to submit it to some of the contacts she’s made through her new job. She handed in the manuscript under a pseudonym so as not to curry favor, and also because she knew the name Rhodes would get instant attention. She’s so amazing. I really miss her; talking, watching silly chick flicks, just laughing and joking the way we used to. I don’t know if it will ever be the same after the way I left without a word or an explanation.

  Her email arrived the night after the incident in the bar, and I burst into tears as soon as I saw her name in my inbox. Needless to say, I continued crying when I actually read it. Her book has been picked up by a small independent publishing house, and it’s in production as we speak. The release is in two weeks and Xander is throwing a party to celebrate. It’s so his style and I freaking love him for it. He loves her without apology, and I really admire him.

  I’ve read the same message every single day for two weeks; her plea for me to come home, if only for the release party. This is what she’s worked toward for so long, what she’s always wanted to do, and I am so proud of her, but I don’t know if I can do what she’s asking of me. If Xander is throwing the party, then he will most definitely be inviting Carter.

  I’m not showing enough at this point that anyone would notice, and my morning sickness has stopped – thank God! I want to see Lily so badly it hurts. We’ve never been apart this long since the day we met. I can’t avoid her forever, and I don’t want to. If I miss this major moment in her life, I will always regret it, and she will always resent me for it. You can’t go back and fix things after the fact, and I understand how much that can eat away at you. If I could go back and change the way things happened with Carter, I would, in a heartbeat.

  With my mind made up and my phone in my hand, I make the call I’ve been longing to for six weeks. It only rings twice before she answers.

  “Addi?” God, I’ve missed that voice. It warms my heart and soothes my soul in an instant.

  “Hi, Lily.”

  Two weeks after speaking to Lily, I’m here in New York, standing in my old apartment, which my parents decided to keep, praying I would come home. It feels so empty without Lily, and haunted with memories of Carter; I can barely breathe.

  I had to go and buy a new dress for the party, because nothing in my wardrobe even remotely fits me now. I decided to go with something sexy and fitted, because if I go for anything else, people really would start talking. I’ve opted for a black Audrey Hepburn style dress, covered in a layer of the finest black French lace. I think I can pull it off, the black concealing the small rounding of my belly. I have a killer pair of peep toe heels and my hair is straight and sleek down my back – no easy task! My make-up is minimal tonight, mainly because I’m exhausted by the time I’m done showering and styling my hair.

  I’m ready just in time to leave for the Four Seasons – Xander’s venue of choice. I told them I could just grab a cab and meet them there, but they insisted on sending David to pick me up. Lily asked me to fly in yesterday so that we could spend some time together, but I just couldn’t do it. If I had seen her one-on-one I would have broken down and told her everything, and it would have ruined her big moment. I promised her that I would stay for a few days, and I will, but tonight is her night, for her to revel in her achievement. Tomorrow I’ll sit down with her and explain what’s going on. The only thing I can’t tell her is who the father is. It’s best that I keep that piece of information a secret… from everyone.

  When the doorman calls to tell me David is waiting downstairs, I feel like my body is on fire, my stomach lurching up and into my throat. I know I’m going to see Carter tonight, and I have no idea how he will react to me, or how I’ll react to him. I grab my bag and head downstairs, my heart beating so fast I’m scared I’ll go into cardiac arrest. David is ever the professional, greeting me with a smile, opening the door for me, and driving me to the party without another word spoken. It gives me far too much time to worry about what tonight will be like, around everyone that I love, for the first time in two months – my parents, Lily, and Carter. While I’m lost in my own world, the familiar streets of Ne
w York pass me by, and suddenly the door next to me swings open.

  “We’re here, Miss Warner.” My brain just can’t process the fact that all of the people I love most in the world, are no more than 200 ft. from me.

  I step out of the car, making my way up the steps and into the lion’s den. I feel like I’m walking the green mile, heading for the gas chamber, my body vibrating with nerves. I’m directed to the ballroom by a member of staff, and as I step into the crowd, I immediately know… he’s here. I can still sense him, scanning the room until my eyes stop, frozen, staring across the room at the chocolate-brown depths that I see every night in my dreams, staring back at me. I can see his breath catch at the same time as my own, and all I want to do is run to him, but I know I can’t make the first move. I broke everything that we had, and he has no idea why. I can’t force him to speak to me, but I’m praying he will; wanting to hear his rough, low, gorgeous voice. As I stand, willing him to stride toward me with the lithe elegance I love, he shifts his gaze to the pretty blonde trying to get his attention, turning his body away from me. It’s a blow to my already tenuous confidence that I can manage through this evening without breaking down.

  I’m out of place and lonely, in a room full of family and friends, until I feel a warm hand on my shoulder and turn to see my mom and dad, the widest grins on their faces as they envelop me in a Warner family hug. Normally I would be embarrassed, but in this moment, I have never been happier to be at the center of my parents’ affection. “Oh, sweetheart, we’re so glad to see you.” My dad’s voice sounds shaky. “How are you, baby girl?”

  I squeeze them both a little tighter, hoping that my voice doesn’t betray me. “I’m okay, Daddy. I’m so happy to see you both. I’m so sorry I worried you.” My parents still don’t know that I’m pregnant, but I did tell them that I needed to get away after my break-up with Carter. I told them it was my doing, because I didn’t want them to think badly of him, and they accepted that, never pushing me for more information.

  “We’re just glad you’re okay, sweetie.” My mom’s voice is thick with unshed tears, and my heart hurts knowing how badly my actions have affected everyone I care about.

  “Why don’t I go get my girls some drinks?” My dad turns to head to the bar.

  “Just an orange juice for me, Daddy. I have an early start tomorrow.” He nods, thinking nothing of the lie that so effortlessly trips off my tongue.

  “I better go find the woman of the hour and say hi. I’ll catch up with you guys in a bit.”

  “Okay, sweetheart. We’ll see you later. Please, don’t leave without saying goodbye.”

  “I won’t, Mom. I promise. Love you.” I have to walk away before I start crying. The fact that they feel the need to beg me not to leave without saying goodbye to them is gut wrenching. What have I done to everyone? I hate myself for all the pain I’ve caused.

  I slowly make my way through the crowds, nodding, smiling and saying the odd hello when a familiar voice grabs my attention. “The guest of honor is this way.” It’s Xander. I can see every emotion flit across his face – anger, pity, and confusion. “Please don’t ruin this for her, Addi. She’s worked so hard, against all the odds. She’s been a wreck since you left. She’s worried about you. We all are.” The small admission that he doesn’t completely despise me after what I did to his best friend is an olive branch I never expected, and it brings a lump to my throat.

  I choke it back before I speak. “I won’t, Xander. I promise I won’t cause any trouble. I just wanted to support Lily tonight. I’m so proud of her. You know I love her like a sister.”

  He gives me the smallest smile. “I know, Addi, and she can’t wait to see you.”

  There’s a circle of people surrounding Lily, but when Xander’s imposing frame appears, her eye is drawn to him like a moth to a flame, and it’s then that she sees me by his side. I don’t know how I thought she would react, but I’m elated when she practically starts shoving people out of the way to get to me, a massive grin on her face and tears in her eyes. She pulls me close, wrapping her arms around me; holding on as if she’s afraid I’ll disappear at any given moment.

  “Addi… God, I’m so happy to see you.” It’s all she can manage before the tears spill out. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  I hold on to her as tightly as she does me. “God, Lily, I’m so sorry. I’ve missed you, too, more than you could ever know.” We just stand, crying in each other’s arms, oblivious to the party going on around us.

  Xander steps in after a while, almost prying us apart. “This is supposed to be a happy occasion, ladies. Let’s not forget, my amazing wife has just become a published author.”

  We stand, wiping our mascara streaked tears from our eyes, laughing at how ridiculous we must look to everyone around us right now.

  “He’s right, Lil. This is your night. We’re not spending it blubbering like a couple of idiots. Let’s get this party started. I’m so freaking proud of you, Lilliput. I always knew you would make your dream a reality.” We give each other a happy hug before we join Xander and all of the other revelers in celebrating this amazing woman, my best friend, Lily Rhodes – author.

  I can feel his eyes on me the entire night, but as the hours tick by, I realize that he has no intention of speaking to me. I still can’t stop myself from glancing in his direction every so often, and whenever I do, he’s staring at me, studying me, his eyes raking my body from head to toe. It’s thrilling, chilling, and devastating all rolled into one. I would give anything to feel his touch one last time, to breathe in his addictive scent while he ravishes my body.

  I try to distract myself, making the rounds of friends I haven’t seen in months, exchanging small talk and pleasantries, everyone avoiding the white elephant in the room. I can see it on each and every one of their faces – the unanswered question – Why did you disappear, Addi? Gladly no one has the guts to ask, and I’m not going to offer up that information any time soon, or ever.

  I’m finding that one of the major downsides of pregnancy is that I have a bladder the size of a pea now, and I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve had to use the restroom this evening. Returning from what I can only assume is my four hundredth trip to the restroom, I’m accosted by Carter in the lobby.

  “Addison.” The cool, detached way he says my name knocks the wind out of me.

  “Hello, Carter. I… It’s…”

  “Save it. I think you’ve said all you need to say to me, but there are a few things I need to say to you.”

  His eyes devour my body as I stand no more than 2 ft. away from him. His smell invades my senses, even more masculine and arousing than I remember; my memories, a cheap imitation of the real thing. My entire body aches at his proximity, and at the gulf that has formed between us.

  “Addi. I understand that you don’t love me, I’m not here to try and change your mind.”

  “Carter. Please. Don’t.”

  He continues. “It’s painfully obvious to me now. Why you left and why we could never work.” My splintered heart can’t take much more of this. “But you’re punishing everyone else around you – Lily, your parents. I don’t want that for you. My failings and what happened with us shouldn’t come between you and the people you do love.”

  “Stop.” My voice is a hoarse whisper; painful as I speak past the lump in my throat. “You don’t understand.”

  “I understand perfectly.”

  “NO - you clearly don’t understand anything.”

  Anger flares in his eyes. “Now just wait a fucking minute, Addi, I’m trying to help you here, even though you dumped me and fell off the face of the planet in the blink of a fucking eye.”

  “Like you even cared. You never tried to call. You never texted me. You obviously weren’t that heartbroken.” I don’t know why I said that, I’m just grasping at anything to stop myself from confessing everything to him right here in the lobby.

  “What the fuck, Addi? You’re upset because I didn’t c
ome groveling to you after you told me you didn’t love me, and that you never had? Did I bruise your delicate fucking ego? I’m ever so goddamn sorry. MY… MOTHERFUCKING… BAD!” He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration.

  “I’m so sorry, Carter.” I’m overwhelmed with emotion, and all I can do, is the same thing that I always do when faced with a situation I can’t deal with, I run. I turn on my heels and flee for the exit, my hand outstretched to hail a cab as soon as the cool night air hits my face. I can hear Carter behind me.

  “Addi. Wait. I didn’t mean that. Don’t fucking run. Addi… Addi!”

  A cab pulls up and I grab at the handle, shaking as I jump in and beg the driver to move, to get me away from here. As I look behind me with blurred vision, I see Carter, standing in the middle of the road, his arms in the air.

  “Cazzo. Addi. Fuck!” I hate myself even more than I did before, if that’s possible. I’ve learned nothing. I ran away… AGAIN. What the fuck is the matter with me? I broke my promise to my parents that I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye, and I broke my promise to Xander that I wouldn’t cause any trouble tonight. As soon as Lily realizes I’m gone, she’s going to be upset, and yet again, with my selfishness, I’ve ruined everything.

  I don’t deserve to be a mom. What hope does this baby have with me as its mother? That thought is the last straw, the unbearable epiphany that has me sobbing my heart out in another New York cab, driving away from Carter… again.

  CARTER

  I’m banging on the door to Addi’s apartment after convincing the doorman to let me in without calling up to her first. “Open the door, Addi. We need to talk.” There is silence for what seems like forever. “I know you’re in there. I watched you come up.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about, Carter. Please, just go away.”

  “I can’t do that and you know it. You at least owe me this.” The door slowly opens, her tear streaked face like a knife to my chest. She gestures me inside, reluctance evident on her face. “Is it that repulsive to you to be in the same room with me now, Addison?”