by Carrie Daws
“You sound like you are speaking from experience,” said David.
“Oh, yes,” said Faye, nodding. “We lost our Jamie when she was just ten years old. I really struggled for a long time.”
Ten years old! thought Melody. “How did you get through that?”
“One day at a time, dear. Sometimes, one moment at a time. It wasn’t easy, but I had to decide that just because God called her home didn’t mean He was done using me. Her purpose might be fulfilled, but mine was not.”
Melody hadn’t really thought about God calling Cole home. Her first thoughts had always been of God taking him from her. Could she be missing something? “How could you see purpose in her death?”
A timer went off in the kitchen. “I’ve got it, Mom,” said Brittany.
Faye took hold of Melody’s hand. “I’m not saying I understand it or that I liked it. I was very angry with God for a long time. But then one day I was reading in the book of Job. After God had allowed Satan to test Job by taking almost everything he had, including his children, he started talking, saying things I identified with, like ‘Why did I not perish at birth?’”
“Didn’t he have friends come to him who only made him feel worse?” said Melody.
“Yes,” said Faye. “They were convinced that it was some sin that Job was hiding that had brought all that tragedy on him. But Job was steadfast. Finally, God answered Job and asked him some very important questions. Job realized that God is in control of all things, even the things that seem most out of His control.”
“I’m not saying you have to like everything God does,” said Faye, “but if you can manage to trust that He is looking out for your best interests, looking out for Cole’s best interests, then accepting His plan is a bit easier.”
Chapter 18
MELODY WAS QUIET ON THE way home, and her husband let her be. Faye lost a child. You’d never know by how she acts. Is that the motivation behind keeping the family so tight knit? She doesn’t know how long they have together, so she pushes to keep them close while she can? It seemed logical but yet didn’t seem to be the answer.
When they walked in the door, Melody saw Patricia sitting on the couch, reading her Bible just as she had done every evening they’d been in Crossing.
“Did you enjoy yourselves?” Patricia asked.
“Dinner was very good,” said David. “Faye said you owe her a lunch.”
Patricia smiled. “Yes, it is about that time again.”
“Do you two eat together regularly?” said Melody.
“About once every month. She’s always been a good friend.”
“Did you know her when she lost her child?” said David.
Patricia’s eyes darkened. “Yes. That was a rough few months. She even quit going to church for a time.”
“What changed?” said Melody.
Patricia sighed. “I suppose you could say she got radical. She decided that God was enough.”
“Enough?” said Melody.
“Yes,” said Patricia. “Enough. Heaven knows, we don’t understand all God plans. But she decided that if He could figure out how to save her miserable self, then He must be big enough to trust with whatever parts of her heart she could manage to give Him. It was a turning point.”
“You mean, she started going back to church and all?” said David.
“Well, yes, she did that too. But more than that. She began living what she believed. When she recognized God romancing her, she figured out how to take His love and give to others.”
“God romanced her?” Melody wrinkled her nose in confusion.
“Oh, sure. Romance is more than fancy dinners and roses. Romance is all about one person lavishing love on another, drawing them into a closer relationship. For Faye, her home became an open door, her life an open book to everyone God put in front of her. And some of us didn’t follow too easily.”
“You?” said Melody. “She affected your life?”
Patricia smiled. “In many ways, child. I don’t really talk about it much, but I can’t say you’d be sitting here if it weren’t for Faye putting her nose in places I thought it didn’t belong.”
“Sounds like we’re back to that interesting story,” said David.
“Perhaps someday,” said Patricia. “But tonight, I’m going to bed. Goodnight, you two.”
Melody watched her aunt pad down the hallway, intensely aware that she knew little about the woman.
“Ready for bed?” said David.
“You go on. I want to sit out here for a little while.”
“You want company?”
“No, I’ll be fine.”
David reached for her hand and gently kissed the top. “I love you.”
She smiled at her dear husband. He’s a treasure. “I love you too.”
After he quietly closed the door behind him, she glanced at her aunt’s faded Bible. She opened to the book of Job and began to read.
In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. He had seven sons and three daughters, and he owned seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen and five hundred donkeys, and had a large number of servants. He was the greatest man among all the people of the East.
Melody stood at the top of a hill, watching three children play in the field below. A woman ran with them, twirling and laughing. Melody longed to join them but held back.
The woman turned and looked to her. She beckoned, yet Melody hesitated.
She looked behind her and saw Cole nestled in the arms of a man she didn’t know, his focus completely on her child. Uncertain, she called to the man, and he looked at her. His blue eyes seemed to pierce her heart, and she gasped.
“I’ve been here before.”
“Yes, Chosen One.”
“Are you the angel of death?”
“That is not what this is about.”
Tears began to fall down Melody’s cheeks. “Did you escort Cole to God?”
“That also is not what this is about.”
“I don’t . . . I don’t know what you want.”
“You cannot move forward by focusing back.”
“But he was my heart.”
“He was your idol.”
Melody gasped. “Is that why God took him from me?”
“No, Chosen One.”
“Why do you keep calling me Chosen One?”
“Because it is what you are.”
“Chosen? To do what?”
“To go forth.”
“Where?”
“Go forth, Chosen One. Complete the task given to you.”
Melody sat up, startled awake. She looked about her, dazed. The Bible still lay open in her lap.
“Melody?”
David stood near her. She tried to focus, but the dream was still so vivid in her mind.
“Mel? Are you okay?” He sat down on the couch beside her.
“Yeah. I—” What? What was that? “I think . . . I was just dreaming.”
“Want to tell me about it?”
Melody took a deep breath. “I was standing on a hillside, talking to a man who was holding Cole.”
David sat back, extending his arm to his wife. Melody cuddled into him.
“Someone we know?” said David.
“No, I’ve never seen him before. I’m not even sure I could describe him, other than his eyes. They were extreme, like a blue you only see in pictures.”
“Blue? With blond hair?”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“I thought you didn’t see him!”
Melody shifted to look at her husband. “The guy in my dream?”
“The man outside. Remember the man I saw down the street?”
“I didn’t see him. Do you think . . .?”
“What?”
Melody wasn’t sure she could voice it out loud. “Maybe Ryan talking about an angel in Crossing just planted a thought in our heads.”
“Th
en why are we both seeing a blond-haired, blue-eyed man?”
“Do you remember how Ryan described him?”
David paused. “I’m not sure.”
Melody sat quiet for a moment.
“Why was he holding Cole?” said David.
“I don’t know. In my dream I asked him if he was the angel of death, but he said that wasn’t the right question.”
“What was the right question?”
“I don’t know. He said I was chosen to go forth.”
“Go forth? Where?”
“That’s what I asked.”
“Did he give you an answer?”
“Not really. He said I’m supposed to complete the task given to me. He acted like I should know what that meant.” Melody shook her head. “I don’t have any idea what to do. Could he really have been an angel? Do they appear in both dreams and on streets?”
“I don’t know, Mel. Maybe we need to talk to Ryan some more.”
“Maybe.”
“Why don’t you come to bed? It’s really late.”
“Okay.” She glanced back at what she’d been reading. One part sprang off the page at her: What is mankind that you make so much of them, that you give them so much attention, that you examine them every morning and test them every moment? Will you never look away from me, or let me alone even for an instant?
Chapter 19
DAVID FOLLOWED PATRICIA’S DIRECTIONS AND pulled onto the road that would lead to the logging office Monday morning.
They’d spent a quiet weekend with Melody’s aunt, and he’d watched as Melody was drawn more and more into the Bible. He’d rarely seen his wife pick it up even though they had gone to church most Sundays before his last deployment. Now it seemed like it was becoming a lifeline.
As the office came into view, he saw that it too was a log cabin, although simpler than either of the family’s homes they’d already seen. Two storied, it looked like the bottom level was just a large open area with a concrete floor built for machine storage.
“I’m guessing it’s up those stairs,” said David.
Melody looked around. “I think you’re right.”
They walked up the stairs and opened the door. The open space looked like barely controlled chaos. Faye looked up from the middle of a paper-strewn desk.
“Hey there!” Faye smiled broadly.
“Hey,” said Melody.
“How’s it going?” said David.
“Well,” Faye looked around her. “To be honest, I’m getting there, despite what this mess might convey. Truth be told, I’ve been backing out of the office the last couple years, letting Amber take on more and more. Now I’m realizing how much she’s been doing and how much I’ve forgotten!”
“Do you need some help?” Melody asked.
“I’d be grateful for it,” said Faye. “But let’s eat lunch first.”
Faye grabbed a couple of containers out of the refrigerator and added them to a picnic basket. “I thought I’d share one of my favorite spots in Crossing with you.”
She handed the basket to David, put on her jacket, and reached for a blanket. David and Melody followed her down the stairs and to a worn path.
“Our house is just through there,” said Faye, “and Peter and Amber’s is just over that way a bit.”
“How is Amber doing?” said Melody.
“She’s obeying the doctor’s orders fairly well, but she’s starting to go a little stir crazy, lying in bed all the time.” Faye looked at Melody. “On Wednesday, her mom, Brittany, and I are going to go have lunch with her. I’d love for you to join us.”
Melody stayed quiet for a moment, and David tensed as he waited for her answer. Say yes, Mel.
Faye reached out and touched her arm. “It’s okay if you aren’t ready.”
They reached a spot with a small clearing near a stream trickling over a gathering of rocks. David put the basket down and walked closer to the water. Deep enough in some spots to get decently wet, but not flowing quickly enough to make crossing difficult.
He turned back to the ladies, who had laid out the blanket and were pulling food from the basket. “This is quite a spot.”
“Yes,” said Faye. “God and I have had a lot of great conversations out here. Sometimes I do most of the talking, and sometimes He does. But it’s always good.”
Melody handed David a plate. “I really like that bench seat,” she said.
Faye smiled. “That was a Christmas present from Peter the year before he and Amber got married.”
Melody read the carving in the wood on the back of the bench. “The LORD has chosen you to be his treasured possession. Deuteronomy 14:2.”
Faye smiled. “That was one of the verses that helped bring my heart some healing after Jamie died.”
“What else helped you?” said David.
“Oh, friends who didn’t leave me helped, but mostly I think just time. Although . . . God did give me a bit of a reality check.” Faye sat back with a full plate and took a bite of her ham sandwich before continuing. “One of the things that most bothered me was that it seemed God didn’t care what I thought about His plan to take Jamie home to Him. As time passed and I’d worked through the worst of my anger, He began to show me places in the Bible where other women had lost their children.”
Faye poured a glass of lemonade into a plastic cup while she continued. “Sometimes the death of a child was because of the sins of his parents or their culture. Think of all the babies who died in Egypt during the tenth plague when the Pharaoh would not release the Israelites. Did any of those Egyptian women hold onto anger?”
Faye took a drink. “Or David and Bathsheba’s first child. The Lord sent Nathan to tell him their son would die because David showed utter contempt for the Lord when he called Bathsheba to him and then later killed her husband. What would it be like living with a man whose sin caused the death of your child?”
“It doesn’t seem fair that our children should pay for our sins,” said Melody.
David thought about some of the things he had seen on deployments. “But evidence of that exact thing is all over the world,” said David. “Regimes are created on hate, and men spend decades fighting because two brothers had an argument. Or one man grabs for a little power and passes the thirst for control onto his children, who then must have greater power.”
“Very true,” said Faye. “But God also showed me that sometimes He takes people home to Him for a greater purpose. I think of Mary, the mother of Jesus. She got to love and enjoy him for thirty years, then watched him tirelessly serve others before dying a horrible death.”
“But Cole wasn’t Jesus,” said Melody, tears in her eyes.
“No, he wasn’t,” said Faye. “And I can’t speak to what God’s thinking in all this. But as I look back on my Jamie, I can tell you that through her death, I changed. And I don’t know that I would have allowed God to change me into the person you see today if I hadn’t gone through all that. Not that I was a bad person, mind you. But I wasn’t becoming the woman God made me to be.”
“So God took her to change you?” said Melody.
“No, not exactly. But because He did take her home, my heart was finally in a place where I was ready to listen more closely to Him.” Faye thought for a moment. “I don’t know if that makes sense.”
David thought about all Faye said. “You’re talking about the good that can come from the bad.”
“Yes,” said Faye. “Our enemy wants to do us harm, but God always has a greater plan. Not everything is good, but God can help us find good because of, or maybe in spite of, the bad.”
He’d already considered that, with the heart problems they now knew Cole would be facing, perhaps death was the easier course for all of them. But could God be looking at something deeper? Are Mel and I not doing what we were meant to do?
“Faye,” said Melody, “have you ever heard Ryan talk about an angel?”
David’s eyes flew to his wife. Her eyes were down, and she
picked at a loose thread in the blanket.
“You mean Matthew?”
David looked at Faye. “He’s talked about it with you, then?”
“Oh, Ryan’s not alone in having seen Matthew. Peter’s seen him. Andy, Peter’s best friend, has talked to him in person and on the phone. Amber’s parents met with him multiple times when they were still looking for her.”
“So, he’s a real person?” said David.
“I don’t believe so. Not like you and me. When Ryan saw him, he was still in bed asleep. He disappeared completely on Peter. And then there’s the card thing.”
“Card thing?” said Melody.
“Andy is an attorney with an office in town. Matthew stopped by there one day saying he was looking for a girl who met Amber’s description. Andy didn’t give him any information, but Matthew gave him a card so he could contact him if Andy ever saw the girl. After Andy checked everything out and met with all of us, he called Matthew to set up a meeting with Amber and her parents.”
“Wouldn’t that make him a human being?” said David.
“Well, later the next day after the reunion, Amber asked Andy for Matthew’s number so she could call and thank him.”
“The card was gone?” said Melody.
“No, it was different,” said Faye. “All the contact information was gone, and under his name was a Bible verse, the one in Hebrews that talks about people entertaining angels unaware.”
David met Melody’s eyes. Part of him wanted to believe an angel was ministering to them in their pain. But do angels really appear to people these days?
“Why do you ask?” said Faye.
“David thought he saw him on the street, but I didn’t see anything. I thought maybe his mind was still being hyperactive from being in Afghanistan.”
“But then Mel had a dream,” said David.
“And he told me things along the lines of what you’ve been saying,” said Melody.
“Lots of times when God is trying to get a message to you,” said Faye, “He will confirm it. Sometimes, it’s through the Bible; sometimes, through a friend.”
“And sometimes through dreams?” said Melody.