Philip and the Superstition Kid (9781452430423)

by Paulits, John

  Leon pushed aside the coats and jackets hanging in the closet, stepped inside, and turned around.

  “I don’t like it in here,” he said softly.

  “It’s just until dinner,” said Emery. “Don’t worry.”

  “I’m gonna get hungry. I’m hungry now,” Leon complained.

  “Stay there,” said Emery and he ran into the kitchen. He came back with a box of crackers, a jar of jelly, a spoon, and two small boxes of raisins. “Take these.”

  Leon inspected his supplies. “Crackers. They always make me thirsty. Suppose I get thirsty?”

  “Ohhhhhh,” Emery muttered in impatience. “Wait.” He ran into the kitchen again and brought back three cans of soda. “Take these.”

  “Soda,” Leon muttered gloomily. “Soda always makes me go to the bathroom.”

  Philip and Emery looked at each other.

  “Go now,” said Philip. “Go. You have everything you’ll need. Hurry up.”

  “Wait,” Leon cried. He left the closet and went upstairs—skipping the first step, of course. Philip and Emery waited. They heard the flush of the toilet, and then Leon came back down the stairs—jumping the final two steps—and reentered the closet.

  “Now, you got everything you need?” Emery asked.

  “Suppose I have to wipe my hands or my mouth,” Leon asked.

  “Oh, Leon,” Emery mumbled. He ran into the kitchen a third time and brought back a wad of paper towels ripped from the roll. “Now do you have everything you need?”

  Leon looked around and thought. “I guess.”

  “Good, we’ll see you later,” Emery said.

  “Bye, guys” said Leon sadly, keeping his mournful eyes on his cousin as Emery slowly closed the door on him.

  Philip heaved a deep sigh. “Well, that’s that.” He waved Emery outside. “I guess we can go to the playground if we’re real careful there.”

  Emery nodded. “Without Leon along, what can go wrong?”

  Philip nodded but as they walked silently to the playground, neither boy felt as joyful at shedding Leon today as they had on earlier days.

  Chapter Twelve

  Emery’s mother had made the boys promise to be home by six o’clock, when the baby sitter was due to arrive. It was nearly six when the two boys walked up the block toward Emery’s house.

  “Well, no disaster happened with Leon not along,” Philip said with satisfaction.

  “No, but what about the trissikaphobia? I think we still got it. Leon is pretty sure he gave it to us.”

  Any other time, Philip might have argued. But by now, he wasn’t so sure Emery was wrong.

  “You think we still could? I mean really,” Philip argued weakly. “Nothing bad happened today, maybe because we didn’t bump into any thirteens today.”

  Emery scowled in Philip’s direction and said, “Oh, didn’t we? Who was the thirteenth person picked in today’s ballgame?”

  “You,” Philip answered softly after thinking a moment.

  “And who struck out five times?”

  “You.”

  “So that was a thirteen, wasn’t it?”

  Philip shrugged. He had no argument to offer. All he could say was, “I hit a home run.”

  “Oh, yeah. Let me tell you about that. What number did you bat?”

  “I batted fourth.”

  “So the second time you batted what did you bat?”

  “Huh?”

  “Nine on a team. You batted fourth. The second time up you batted . . . ?”

  Philip’s eyes widened. “Uh, thirteenth.”

  “What did you do the first time up?”

  “Home run. I told you.”

  “What did you do the second time when you batted thirteenth?”

  “Emery, I struck out! But I didn’t strike out again after that.”

  “So how many times did you bat thirteenth?”

  “Just once, I guess.”

  “And you struck out and didn’t get a hit the rest of the time because the trissapikaphobium spoiled everything after you batted thirteenth.”

  Emery’s logic silenced Philip and sent him into deep thought.

  Finally, Philip said, “You think Leon’s still in the closet?”

  They had reached Emery’s front door. “Let’s go see.”

  When they went inside, the smell of pizza greeted them.

  Emery’s parents were all dressed up and standing in the living room talking to a young girl.

  “Oh, no. Not her,” Philip said.

  “Yipes,” Emery echoed.

  “Come here, Emery, Philip,” said Emery’s father.

  “This is Amanda. I think you know her. She’ll be watching over you tonight.”

  Philip and Emery stared. Amanda was the strangest looking girl in the neighborhood. Her black hair was cut at all different lengths and angles. She had four earrings in her right ear and six in her left. She had a tattoo of an eagle on her right arm and the tattoo of a skull on her left arm.

  Philip had seen Amanda many times and the tattoos on her arms always changed. Philip guessed that her parents wouldn’t let her get real tattoos so she got the kind that faded over time.

  Amanda wore black jeans and a black tee shirt with the sleeves cut off. The T-shirt read NOW OR NEVER in big red letters. A tiny silver ring that also came and went like the tattoos was attached to her nose.

  Philip gave Amanda a weak smile. She scared him.

  Amanda curled the right side of her upper lip in return.

  “The pizza just arrived. It’s in the kitchen,” said Emery’s mother, walking into the hallway. “I want my jacket. Where’s Leon?”

  “Uh, he’s around, Mom.”

  “Make sure he gets some pizza,” she said, opening the closet door. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!”

  “What, honey?” Emery’s father cried.

  Everyone turned and looked. There stood Leon inside the closet. He smiled and gave a brief wave, and then he stepped into the hallway. There were cracker crumbs imbedded in some grape jelly on his lips and chin.

  Emery’s mother stared at him in horror as the people in the living room moved into the hallway.

  Mrs. Wyatt gulped and said, “What were you doing in the closet, Leon? Why are you wearing a dress?”

  Leon looked at Philip and Emery for help.

  Suddenly, a loud burst of laughter brought everyone up short. Amanda had her hands on her knees, doubled over and laughing loudly. Emery’s father snorted a big laugh but then caught himself.

  “Amanda, please,” said Mrs. Wyatt. She gave her husband a cold glare.

  Amanda turned away so she wouldn’t see Leon, but everyone could see her sides bouncing as she continued to laugh silently.

  “Why are you wearing a dress, Leon? Does your therapist know you do this? Does your mother know?” Emery’s mother asked.

  “I’m not really wearing a dress,” Leon tried to explain, but his voice quivered so much that he spoke very slowly. “It’s only ’cause it’s inside-out on the inside and not on the outside . . . ”

  “He was . . .” Emery interrupted before Leon could say too much.

  “Shhhhh!” his mother ordered.

  Amanda turned back to look and burst out again into uncontrollable laughter.

  Finally, Emery’s father couldn’t hold it any longer and he burst into laughter.

  Philip and Emery looked at each other and both had to squeeze their lips together hard so the laughter that was about to explode in them stayed locked inside.

  “Stop!” Leon cried, bouncing on his toes and shaking his arms. “I’m not wearing a dress, really.”

  Amanda sucked in a giant gulp of air and it made a strange noise.

  “Stop!” Leon cried and he ran toward the stairs. As he ran he tried to get the dress over his head. When he reached the stairs, he’d only half succeeded. The dress was stuck on his head, hanging down in front of his face. Leon wiggled and waggled his shoulders and arms like a hula dancer as he struggled with the dres
s. Bang! He ran straight into the banister and bounced back from it onto the seat of his pants.

  Another tremendous burst of laughter came from Amanda.

  Leon jumped up and started up the stairs, his arms and head still inside the dress. To Philip he looked like a headless ghost running off to scare someone.

  “Don’t worry,” Mr. Wyatt said, trying to keep a serious face. “He’ll be all right. Get your jacket, honey.”

  Amanda, still laughing, went into the kitchen where the pizza was waiting.

  “I’ll get your jacket, honey,” Mr. Wyatt said when his wife did not seem able to move.

  “Mom,” Emery said, moving closer to his mother, “why’d you get her to stay tonight? She’s the weirdest thing ever.”

  “She was the only one I could find, and I certainly couldn’t leave the three of you alone,” Mrs. Wyatt barked impatiently. “Thanks,” she said to her husband and slipped her arm into her jacket sleeve. “Ugh, jelly.” She’d run into a glob of Leon’s grape jelly at the end of the sleeve.

  Mr. Wyatt helped her off with the jacket.

  “But Mom,” Emery whined, “she’s not much older than me.”

  “It’s nice out,” Mr. Wyatt said, trying to smile. “You don’t need a jacket.”

  “She’s thirteen. That’s old enough. Don’t put it back in the closet. You’ll get jelly on everything. Here, give me.”

  Emery and Philip’s mouths dropped open.

  “She’s how old, Mom?”

  “Thirteen. Thirteen. Now go have your pizza and behave. And make sure Leon behaves. And nobody goes out tonight. I gave Amanda explicit orders. Upstairs and stay there. Let’s have a peaceful night. Please!”

  Mr. Wyatt guided his wife to the front door, and as they passed out of the house, Philip heard Mr. Wyatt saying, “Yes, honey, I know you love your family. Of course you do.”

  The door closed and he and Emery looked at each other.

  “She’s thirteen,” Emery said.

  “I heard. I heard. And Leon—did you watch?—he went up the stairs one-by-one.”

  “You mean . . . ?”

  “Yeah, thirteen steps. He didn’t think. When he remembers he did that . . .” Philip rolled his eyes and shook his head.

  “This isn’t going to be a good night,” Emery muttered, looking at the floor.

  From the kitchen Amanda shouted, “Get in here you two and have your pizza.”

  Philip and Emery sighed, glanced at the staircase up which Leon had disappeared, and trudged into the kitchen, knowing the worst was yet to come.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Amanda stared at the two boys as they ate their slices of pizza.

  “You two do what all night exactly?” she asked.

  Emery and Philip looked at one another.

  “Well?” Amanda insisted.

  Emery shrugged.

  “You don’t mind if I watch the television, do you?” Amanda asked in a commanding voice. “Oops!”

  Philip and Emery watched in amazement as the fake nose ring Amanda was wearing dropped into her glass of soda.

  “What the . . . ?” Amanda grabbed the glass of soda, and as Philip and Emery stared, she walked to the sink and poured the soda over her hand. The nose ring plopped into her palm. She rinsed it under the faucet and then, turning her back to the boys, raised her hands to her face.

  When she turned around the nose ring was back in place, and she barked, “Well, the TV? What are you two looking at?”

  Philip swallowed what seemed like a one pound chunk of cheese and said, “No, you go. We’ll take Leon up some pizza.”

  “Leon the name of the dress freak?” Amanda asked. “Heh!”

  Philip nodded.

  “He’s my cousin,” Emery added.

  Amanda gave Emery such a look of disdain he was sorry he’d spoken.

  “Come on, Emery,” Philip said. He took a paper plate from the table and put a slice of pizza on it. Emery was just as eager to leave the kitchen—leave the first floor—as his friend, so they rose and hurried up the stairs.

  Emery’s room was empty, the window wide open and the screen raised.

  “Uh oh,” Emery muttered.

  Philip put the paper plate of pizza on Emery’s desk and walked to the window. Emery followed and poked his head out of the window next to Philip’s. Both boys looked down.

  “There’s the dress,” Philip pointed.

  Leon’s dress was crumpled in a ball next to the trunk of a backyard tree.

  “You don’t think he went out the window, do you?” Emery asked.

  “Let’s check the other rooms,” Philip advised.

  Leon was nowhere on the second floor, so the boys went back into Emery’s room.

  “He must have walked across this little roof to the tree,” Philip said, awed by Leon’s ability to climb.

  Emery nodded. “I tried that once and almost killed myself.”

  The tiny roof beneath Emery’s window didn’t really cover anything, but was just a decoration. It passed close enough to the big tree in Emery’s yard, though, so that if you weren’t afraid of walking along the little roof and didn’t fall off of it, you could get to the tree, climb down to the bottom branch, and drop to the ground.

  “My mother’s gonna murder me,” Emery cried.

  “What for? You didn’t run away,” Philip said.

  “Leon ran away because he got laughed at for wearing a dress. And who made him wear that dress?”

  “You.”

  “Me! Us. We both did.”

  “We should have put him in the closet the first day he came and kept him there.”

  “Too late now. I gotta find him before my parents get home. Ohhh,” Emery moaned. “If he’s not here when they get back, they’ll call the police and ask us questions. I never knew anybody that was such bad luck. Tripping, falling, getting in trouble, getting me in trouble. And his stupid triskadiskaphobium. That he gave us! This is more proof we got it.”

  Emery walked to his desk and opened the top drawer. He took out two rabbits’ feet and tossed one of them to Philip.

  “Put this in your pocket. It’s all I got to help us.”

  Philip put the rabbit’s foot into his pocket.

  “I guess we gotta go out the window, otherwise that vampire girl downstairs will stop us,” said Emery.

  “If Leon can do it, I suppose we can too,” Philip said glumly.

  “Leon. Oh, that Leon. Why do I have to be related to him? Where we gonna look for him?” Emery wondered.

  Philip thought a moment. “Our bush hideout?” he said.

  “I hope he didn’t go sneak back into his own house.”

  Then the two boys stared at the open window.

  “Well?” said Philip. “He’s your cousin.”

  Emery growled to himself and started out the window.

  Philip watched him walk along the tiny roof with his arms stretched out like a tightrope walker. Emery made one little bobble and Philip’s heart jumped, but he made it to the tree and sat on a long branch to get his breath.

  “Now you,” Emery called.

  Philip stepped out onto the roof, feeling like he was stepping onto the wing of an airplane hurtling across the sky. He took careful step after careful step and finally slid next to Emery on the big branch, sighing with relief.

  The boys looked at each other with only one thought in mind—Stupid Leon.

  “He better be in those bushes,” Emery muttered as he slid across the branch to the trunk of the tree where he could get close to the ground using other branches like a ladder.

  When Philip dropped to the ground next to Emery, he smiled. “That wasn’t so bad.”

  “Never mind that,” said Emery grimly. “Let’s go and find Leon.”

  The boys hurried down the street. The sun was still shining, and they waited carefully until they were sure no one would see them enter the bushes.

  Emery led the way. “Leon, you in there? Leon. It’s me and Philip.”
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br />   Leon was there, sitting glumly, his knees drawn up and his head resting on them.

  “Leon,” Emery barked. “What are you doing here? Now you’ve got us all in trouble. We’re supposed to be in the house. If that vampire girl finds out we’re missing, she’s gonna call my mother.”

  Leon lifted his head sadly. “You heard, too?” he asked.

  “Heard what?” Philip asked.

  “About that girl. She’s scary. I heard your mother say how old she is,” Leon explained in a gloomy voice. “She’s thirteen. Oh, something bad’s gonna happen because of her.”

  Emery exploded. “Leon, you dope, you’re making it happen. We gotta get back inside the house. Your trippydippyphobium’s gonna get us all smooshed.”

  Leon turned to Emery and said sadly, “It’s not trippydippyphobium. And we’ve all got it now.”

  Philip and Emery exchanged uncomfortable looks.

  Philip said, “That’s why we gotta get back in the house, Leon. It’s the only way we’ll get protection.” Suddenly, Philip’s face went blank.

  Emery stared at his friend and cried, “What, Philip? What?”

  “Emery, we could hang and jump down from the tree but we can’t jump up. It’s too high. How are we going to get back inside the house?”

  Slowly, the two boys turned and looked at Leon.

  “Triskaidekaphobia,” he whispered and lowered his head onto his knees.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “She’s watching TV still,” Philip whispered as he peered through the screened window into the living room. Emery and Leon sat below the windowsill, leaning back against the house. Philip lowered himself and sat with the other boys.

  “Leon, if vampire girl calls my mother and I get punished for this . . . it’s summer, you know. I don’t want to be grounded for a week of summer vacation.”

  “I know. I know,” Leon nodded. “Nothing good ever happens to me. I’m always in trouble anyway; let me get in more trouble. I don’t care.”

  “What are you talking about?” Philip asked.

  “You guys go to the back door . . . ” Leon began.

  “Yeah! The back door. How stupid. Let’s sneak in the back door,” Emery cried.

  The boys scuttled around to the kitchen door and turned the knob. Locked!