Living Like A Vampire

by Jacky Dahlhaus

  I willed my mind to think of something else. So I wondered what had happened to Charlie. That didn’t help. More guilt, more questions.

  Why, oh, why hadn’t he followed me? Why hadn’t I followed him? Had he known a way out? Where is he now? Would I ever see him again? Is he still alive?

  This brick in my stomach was getting really annoying. It also reminded me I needed food soon.

  As I felt my limbs and eyelids getting heavy, I thought about the ‘we’ that my sister and Sasha had referred to. They didn’t call themselves ‘suckers.’ They were ‘we’ or ‘us’ and unturned humans were ‘the others,’ ‘them,’ ‘the opposition.’ I was the one who made the distinction between suckers versus humans, which was silly of course as suckers were still human. You didn’t lose or gain chromosomes by an infection. Or could you?

  Could this be a case of extreme transduction, where new genetic material is introduced by viruses? I know it’s possible in bacteria, but I’ve never heard of it being reported on this level.

  Doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

  I willed my tired eyelids up, to defy my overactive brain which wanted to drown me in my sorrows and unanswerable questions. I watched the girls get ready for sleep. As I studied them, I realized not all suckers were as I had thought them to be. There had been stories told on TV of ruthless killers who brutally attacked humans, leaving mutilated bodies behind. They were supposed to have no soul, no remorse, no feelings. Yet here I was, head over heels falling for a sucker and adopted as ‘one of the family’ by a pack of them. They all seemed so normal. This was so not what I had expected. Julie was still the sister that I knew. She had even come looking for me and, what baffled me most, she had told me she loved me. I knew she had loved me when she was still unbitten, but she had never, ever, told me directly. Nor had I ever told her I loved her. That was just not done. I knew she loved me, and I guess she knew I loved her, but we had never, ever said it out loud.

  That’s probably what shocked me the most. These suckers, these ‘wild, savage killers,’ had shown me more emotion than I had encountered in humans. Even bad emotions, with Sasha being a good example of those.

  Thinking of Sasha brought my mind back to Caleb. I was baffled by my deep longings I cultivated for him in such a short period of time. I wasn’t sure if it was love. I had been in love before, yet this was different.

  The first time I had loved, it had been little more than a crush. Josh was a boy in my seventh grade and he never knew that I had liked him. I had taken a photo of him with my brand-new camera, he had even posed for it. I had kissed that photo goodnight for weeks, never having the guts to tell him how I felt about him. After he moved to North Carolina, I gave up on boys for a while. A few years later, I had fallen for the attention I received from Peter, a fellow student. He made me laugh. We had kissed and made out for months before we had sex in his bedroom on an evening when his parents were away. It had been an exciting time, and we were good for a year or two until I went to college, and he had dumped me. How heartbroken I had been. I’d had a few more flings during my university studies but was never in love with those guys. Yet, whatever I had felt with all of these boys combined was nothing compared to the feeling I’d had when I had looked into Caleb’s eyes. That intensity had been like being hit by lighting.

  Not that I have any experience in that.

  When he had been about to bite me, his body so close to mine… It had been so thrilling and overwhelming. His teeth on my flesh had been so…so…

  Okay, let’s not go there now.

  I embarrassed myself with my own thoughts. I knew I’d die a happy woman now that I’d met Caleb, for I had little doubt it must be true love.

  I finally fell asleep, dreaming of drowning in Caleb’s eyes.

  On the Move

  Julie woke me when the sun had just set. I couldn’t believe I had slept the whole day.

  “Hey, sleepy head. How are you feeling?”

  “Like a punching bag,” I said, rubbing my eyes. “I hope the sleeping arrangements will improve.” I got up and stretched myself. My whole body literally felt beaten-up. All those falls and running last night added to the torture of sleeping on linoleum.

  “One day it will, but for now we’ll have to do with whatever we can find,” Julie said, and she walked off again, waking the others.

  Not being too pleased with her answer, I looked around.

  What are the other girls doing? How can I fit in?

  I remembered Julie’s remark when we had met about ‘fangs dropping.’ My heart raced when I thought of how to explain this not happening to me. I made a mental note of making a serious effort not to laugh out loud in the foreseeable future. To hide my absence of fangs I would have to mumble.

  No teacher’s voice.

  I grinned a big, open smile. Immediately I clamped my hands over my mouth. This was going to be trickier than I realized. The girl called Alex came up to me, and I wondered if she had noticed my absence of fangs.

  “Here, some painkillers. Your fangs will soon be down, and the pain will subside, but for now take them as often as you need to.” She gave me a whole packet of painkiller tablets. As I stared at her, she showed off her long fangs. “Don’t worry, I won’t need them anymore,” she said as she put a hand on my arm. I let out a sigh of relief, but not for the reason she probably thought.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled, and the girl walked away again.

  My heart released itself from the grip of fear, and I regained my composure. As I collected my cup from my desk drawer, I realized I had to be more vigilant in my actions. I got away with it this time, but I might not be so lucky in the future. I filled the cup with water, took two tablets from the packet and downed them with two large gulps. I had no toothache, but the rest of my body was sore all over.

  “Okay, girls, is anybody hungry?” Julie asked loudly.

  Out of habit, I put my hand up, but let it drop again as nobody else was doing it. Instead, the girls all cheered.

  “Right, we will meet up with Duncan. He’d told me he’d help with hunting again,” Julie informed us. My mouth went dry. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t chase a human being and open up a jugular. For my studies, I had cut open lab rats without a second thought, but the thought of sucking blood from someone’s neck made my knees buckle. I always found that blood had an awful, earthy, iron-like stench which wouldn’t entice me to drink it… or eat it… or whatever they called it. It became apparent I would need to eat something soon as my stomach rumbled loudly, reminding me I hadn’t eaten for a long time.

  “Oh my, you are hungry,” Julie smiled at me. “Don’t worry, sis, we’ll get you some blood soon.”

  “Great!” I said like someone with a toothache, meanwhile racking my brain to find a way out of this situation.

  We waited until the last rays of sunshine had disappeared before going out. I thanked Julie silently as this meant I didn’t have to pretend to have an epileptic seizure near sunlight. I had never seen anybody have a seizure, other than what they had shown us on TV a week ago, and I had no hopes my drama performance would earn me any Oscars.

  As we walked through the streets, I asked a dark-haired, slender girl called Amy who this Duncan was we were going to hunt with. She told me he was one of the older suckers and leader of a large pack. Due to his military background, he was a good organizer and excellent at providing blood. I noticed she didn’t say ‘hunter and killer of humans’ and wondered why. I was sure that’s what she meant.

  Could it be that they don’t see us as humans anymore but only as meals on wheels?

  As Amy seemed to know quite a lot of who was who, I casually asked if she knew a Caleb, trying not to smile too obviously.

  Say, do you perhaps know a sucker called Caleb?

  “Oh yes, everybody knows Caleb. He’s a hottie,” she said. She told me he was the leader of another pack. “His pack isn’t as large as Duncan’s. Caleb used to roam with Duncan, but they fell out, and now he has his
own pack.”

  I didn’t let her know I thought I knew the reason why they fell out, being that Caleb didn’t kill children, but I kept my mouth shut. While I was on a roll, I thought I’d find out some more about Caleb’s darker half. “What about Sasha? Do you know anything about her?”

  Amy’s face immediately lost its smile. “Sasha turned Caleb. He would do anything for her.” I expected her to tell me more, but that was all she said.

  Her remark sounded strange. My impression had been the complete opposite. It was clear, though, I wasn’t the only one Sasha had a negative effect on. Before I could ask her more, Amy had walked away, and I kicked myself mentally. I hadn’t asked her if Sasha and Caleb were in a proper relationship. She’d said ‘Sasha turned Caleb. He’d do anything for her.’ What did that mean? That he was hers forever? That would suck.

  Pun not intended.

  Getting Teeth

  We stood in the town square while Julie and a few other girls studied the town map at the bus stop, speculating on where the local gym or dance hall could be. Apparently, those were the kind of places where Duncan’s pack would stay, according to my sister. Julie didn’t ask me if I knew where they were. Not that it would have helped her one bit as I had never set a foot in any dance hall. Maybe that’s why Julie hadn’t bothered to ask me. She knew me all too well.

  My older sister, Maxine, had been sent to dance lessons when she started high school, but my parents had to drag her there every week for a whole year. So, when I went to high school, my parents had told me they weren’t making me go to dancing class. They said they couldn’t go through the whole weekly ‘torture of children’ tirade like they had received on a weekly basis with Maxine. Hence, no dance hall experience for Julie and me. I never went to a gym either, preferring to go jog outside which was a lot cheaper as well.

  I looked around the town square while executive decisions were being made. There was the bakery, where I used to get nice, fresh bagels from. Its windows were smashed and there were no bagels or buns displayed anymore. Next door was the fashion shop, where Sue had bought some of her new, colorful outfits. Tears welled up in my eyes when I recalled her showing off her latest, brightly colored dress. I forced my eyes to move on to the next shop. The red façade belonged to the family butcher. I had thought nothing of it before, but it was such an inappropriate name now. Its windows were also broken, and all produce absent from the shelves.

  Next to it was the one dollar shop, full of Halloween items at the moment. Nobody had touched that store. No surprise there, of course, as fangs came included with the virus. Next to the one dollar shop was the hairdresser, where I had my hair dyed red two weeks ago. Sue had convinced me to have it done. Afterward, I had admitted that it did look good. Sue had been so happy that day, showing me off to everyone and complementing me continuously.

  Seeing all these shops filled me with memories, and it wasn’t doing me much good. I focused on my shoes to prevent any of the girls seeing my tears.

  Like a shot, a thought hit me; the one dollar shop was going to be my salvation.

  “I’ll be back in a moment,” I said to nobody in particular.

  I ran to the shop, hoping no one would follow me. I tried to push the front door open, but it wouldn’t budge. I had no other option, so I threw my body against the large door window with all my might. It shattered. I never thought I would ever be able to do anything like this. I hadn’t stolen a thing in my life, nor damaged somebody’s property with intent. Now I was breaking and entering with the intention to steal. What had I come to?

  But at least I’m not killing anybody.

  I jumped inside over the shards of glass and tried to be as fast as I could, just in case the girls got a sudden case of curiosity. The Halloween section had all the Dracula stuff. I remembered I’d seen a little box with fake Dracula fangs. Not the whole-teeth-set, just the fangs that you had to attach over your own teeth with some sort of temporary cement. I remembered them as I had wondered who would want to put cement on their teeth. If only I could find them again, and a tube of super-glue as I wanted to make sure the teeth were attached more permanently. I found the teeth soon enough, ripped the packaging open, and put the two tooth caps in my trouser-pockets. Looking around, I saw a small bag of fake blood, which I managed to stuff in one of my back pockets. You never knew when that would come in handy.

  I heard a noise, and I spun around, my heart beating in my throat. It appeared to come from a piece of glass falling from the door; nobody had come in after me. I continued my search and found a small tube of super-glue. Into my pocket with the tooth caps it went.

  My eyes spotted a rack with lollies and chocolate bars near the counter. On cue, my stomach rumbled loudly. Grabbing a multi-pack of chocolate bars, I opened one, checked that the girls couldn’t see me from the square, and stuffed it in my mouth. I always liked chocolate, but today it tasted heavenly.

  Not wasting too much time, I tried to put some bars in my pockets, but my skinny jeans didn’t entertain the notion of stuffing pockets. I considered which one I needed most and decided the blood bag had to go. Only three bars fitted my trouser pockets, so I stuffed the remaining individually wrapped bars in my bra. I had no doubt they would soon melt into shape.

  Before going back to the girls, an idea sprung to mind. I took a Dracula cape from a hanger in the dress up section and tied it around my neck. I also grabbed a packet of the fake, plastic Dracula teeth, ripped it open, and stuck it in my mouth. After I carefully stepped back out of the shop over the broken shards of glass of the door frame, I looked up and saw my sister and everyone else stare in my direction. Blood heated my cheeks.

  Here goes all or nothing, Ms. Hunt, I hope your high school drama teaching pays off now.

  I took a deep breath and ran into the town square, flapping my cape behind me.

  “I am Dracula, and I am going to suck your blood!” I shouted as I ran around like a maniac, showing off my fake fangs every time I passed one of the girls.

  At first, they were all stunned. They must have thought I was a raving lunatic. After about a minute, my sister started laughing her head off. Thankfully the other girls joined in. It seemed it worked. I had pulled it off. Elated, I kept on running and scaring.

  When I was out of breath, I hunched over, hands on my knees. My breathing was ragged, borderline asthmatic. Julie walked over and patted me on the shoulder.

  “You haven’t changed a bit, have you, you weirdo. Good one, Kate!”

  I nodded in her direction, still focusing on my breathing.

  “Don’t overdo it. You still haven’t fed yet,” she continued more seriously.

  “Okay, I won’t,” I managed to wheeze.

  As I straightened up and got more air into my lungs, I contemplated the need to exercise more.

  I wonder if I would need to if I’d been turned.

  Meeting Duncan

  Soon after, we were on our way and arrived at the dance hall. People were coming out of the building, and one of them stuck out like a sore thumb. He walked with his chin up high, muscly arms held out from his body, the way people with armpit eczema and bodybuilders do, and he walked like he had a stick up his ass. An added feature setting him apart was his white hair. It gave him a sense of elderly authority even though I guessed him to be only forty or fifty years old. He had Duncan written all over him.

  I was right, as Julie walked straight up to him. She talked to him for a little while, and they seemed to exchange the numbers of their ‘newborns.’ Without warning, she turned around and gestured for me to come closer. Adrenaline rushed through my veins. I was going to die from a heart attack one of these days.

  I can’t handle this continuous stress.

  Remembering not to put a big nice-to-meet-you smile on my face, I walked up to them. I’d taken my fake Dracula-teeth out when we were still in the town square, and I had no permanent cover-up yet. So, I put on my serious face, with pouty lips.

  Prune.

  Du
ncan stuck out his hand, and when I returned the gesture, he nearly crushed my hand. I winced softly as he let go.

  “Still very young, as you mentioned,” he said as his pale blue eyes darted back to my sister for a moment. “But not to worry, we’ll find you some blood in this town soon.” His smile didn’t reach his cold eyes.

  Saying you’re sorry for hurting me would do for now.

  I glowered at him as he walked off and began shouting orders to others. Massaging the blood back into my hand, I asked Julie, “What will happen now?”

  “Now we hunt,” she said. She pivoted around to head back to her pack to give them instructions. I made a split second decision and grabbed her by her arm.

  “I don’t think I can do this, Julie. Seriously,” I whispered.

  She looked shocked. Seconds passed. I let go of her arm and dropped my gaze. When she spoke, the initial alarm on her face was gone.

  “Don’t worry, I understand. You’re still very tired. Why don’t you just hang back, and you can feed at the gathering after the hunt.”

  “Um, thanks, sis.”

  It wasn’t exactly what I’d meant, but I had managed to get out of being found out again. Thanks to the kindness of my sister. For now.

  Clothes Shopping

  It didn’t take long before the suckers dispersed in all directions. Some soldier-lookalikes stayed. They seemed to be checking out the security of the dance hall. A military slang word that my father had used for army soldiers popped up in my head. Bolo. It wasn’t a nice word for them.