This Love of Mine (Raine Series #1)

by Bennett, Amanda

  She was standing there staring in my direction, with the same look of desperation I had whenever I saw her. I slipped my cell phone back into my front pocket and straightened my ball cap. I knew how I must've looked to her, but damn if I never got a chance to shower before seeing her. A small smile splayed across her lips as I inched closer to her. Everything about her was contagious, her smile included. I smiled back as I closed the distance. Every part of my hyperaware body wanted to pull her into me and crush my mouth onto hers. Just the thought of it, had my body responding and my heart racing.

  "Well hey there, cowboy." She grinned.

  I got a kick out of her little nickname for me. No one had ever called me cowboy, except for my grandparents, but the words coming out of her mouth sent my mind reeling.

  "Hey there, pretty girl. How's the leg today?" We hadn't gotten into detail about that yet, but I couldn't blame her much.

  "Better, thanks for asking."

  She leaned in to hug me just as I reached out to shake her hand. We ended up in an awkward half handshake hug, and we laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. When she pulled back out of my half embrace, I slowly let go, but keeping her hand in mine was a feeling I never wanted to end. Her skin was soft and smooth, and so warm to the touch. The electricity that shot through us was undeniable and I found myself craving the feel of her mouth against mine. I had a small debate in my mind over whether or not to just go for it, when my next move not only shocked her, but me as well.

  I tugged on her hand that still rested in mine, pulling her body almost flush with my own. My hand went up to her overwhelmingly beautiful face, brushing strands of hair behind her ear. We stood staring into one another's eyes as the world disappeared around us. I felt comfort and joy in her gaze and I slowly sealed my lips over hers. Our kiss started out slow and gentle, but within seconds it turned passionate and needy.

  My hands flew up to the sides of her face and I deepened the kiss to epic proportions. My tongue slid across her plump lower lip and she instantly granted me access. As our tongues massaged one another's, I pulled her closer, and it still felt too far.

  Excitement and pure lust ran through my veins as her warm hands slipped underneath my shirt, massaging my taught back muscles. I knew her leg was hurt, but I wasn't sure of the extent, so I digressed and settled for resting my hands at the top of her ass. I knew this was headed somewhere more complex, and fast. I needed to step back and gather my thoughts. I need to compose myself and take this slow. Unfortunately, time wasn't on our side. I was due to leave the farm tomorrow, and nothin' about that made me happy. I needed her, maybe more than I wanted to admit to myself, but I needed her all the same.

  I pulled back a touch, and chanced a glance at her fallen expression. She was taking my hesitation the wrong way. I could feel her body rejecting my advance to pull her back in. I grasped for her thin tank top, bunching it up in my wary hands. "Don't pull away." I whispered into the mid-day air.

  Her hands flew up to her hair, pushing back through the long wind blown tendrils and then came to rest on her hips. "Maybe, this is a bad idea." She gestured between the two of us and my heart literally sank down to my feet. I knew this was moving fast, but the want was still there.

  I knew I was leaving, and that I needed to let her know, but the look she gave me just then, had me crumbling to the ground, figuratively speaking. "Kayla, there's something I need to tell you." I took in a ragged breath, hoping she would hear me out before leaving me in that open field.

  She squinted through heavy lids and let out a loud sigh. "You mean that you're leaving tomorrow? I already know, Madison." Her hand flew up to her brow, shielding the scorching sun from her vision. She stood staring, motionless, at me and I couldn't bear to hurt her.

  "Uh..yes, but no. I decided to stay a little while longer." I don't know why I lied to her, but the sullen expression she held on her beautiful, innocent face, morphed into something more. Adoration, joy, I wasn't sure, but it was better than sad. I smiled down at her, as I closed the distance between us for the last time. My lips sat hovering merely centimeters from hers. "Oh, and my band is playing tonight. Come with me?" Before she could answer, my lips were sealed to hers.

  A gust of wind passed at that moment, and strawberries assaulted my senses once again. A smile broke out across my lips, as I tried to contain my laughter. Her lips mimicked mine and we both let out a small, strangled laugh, before resuming our embrace.

  A few moments later, when we finally broke our connection to come up for air, I realized what I had just done. I didn't have time to stay a couple extra days, but I had all but just made that promise to her. What was I going to do now?

  I brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear, before leaning in and kissing just below her earlobe. There was nothin' more I wanted then to have this girl as mine, but given my current predicament, I settled for what she was offering. I grabbed her small delicate hand in mine and pulled her down next to a nearby tree. She tried to sit across from me, but I gently pulled her in between my legs, nestling her body into mine. I brushed her hair back and over her shoulder, and then placed a chaste kiss to her sun kissed shoulder.

  We sat staring into the horizon, for what felt like forever, when she finally spoke.

  "So, what kind of music does your band play?"

  I chuckled softly, not expecting that to be her question. "We're alternative, I guess. I think you'll like it."

  "Oh do ya now? I reckon you wouldn't exactly know what I like just yet, cowboy."

  I could hear her labored breathing as I skimmed my hand across her hip. The way she said my nickname had me trying to catch my breath. I swallowed past the lump in my throat before I finally mustered up enough reasoning to answer her. "I suppose I wouldn't, huh? But, I'm hopin' you'll let this cowboy know you're likings, sooner rather than later."

  "Hmm, I think we might be able to work somethin' out." She turned slightly and tilted her head back into my neck, placing an open mouthed kiss to my skin, leavin' it scorching.

  "So, you wanna tell me what happened yet?" I knew I was pushing, but I needed to know who pushed her all the way to fuckin' nowhere.

  "Not yet, but maybe soon." She smiled. "You wanna tell me about school?" She teased.

  "Do you really wanna know?" I whispered underneath my breath.

  She turned around in my lap and was now facing me. Her plump, luscious lips mocked me as I tried to find her eyes. "Of course I do. I wouldn't have asked, if I didn't want to know. Now spill." Her smile could light up the night sky, if it was night. I hadn't seen her smile much in the day or two that I had known her, and it was nice to see.

  I straightened my body and pulled her hands into mine. "Well, I got a full ride scholarship to Arizona State University. I've been playing baseball for so long, that I guess it was kind of a no brainer, but leavin' is what is killin' me." I felt her hands twitch inside of mine, and then my hands went slack with the empty space where hers had just been.

  "What's wrong?" She was already standing, brushing the small bits of stray grass from the back of her shorts. I quickly stood, grabbing her arm before she could take off towards her house. I needed to know what I had said wrong. "What is it, KJ?"

  "It's nothin' I just need to go. I'll see you tonight, I suppose." Her eyes landed on mine, but they held no spark. The light had dimmed, just as I gotten it to come back. What the hell was this girl’s story and why wouldn't she share it with me?

  "Yeah, um..I'll come grab you around five?" I pushed my hands through my hair as I removed my ball cap.

  "Okay, I'll be ready and waitin' at the end of the drive." Before I could react, she was already limping down the hill and headed towards her house. I silently cursed myself for not going after her, yet again, but there really wasn't much I could do. She was closed off and obviously, that barrier wasn't coming down anytime soon. Or at least not soon enough.

  Chapter 15

  Kayla

  I had been elated to see him. When his tall
, muscular figure appeared over that hill, my heart jumped into my throat and practically shot out of my mouth. He looked even better than he had in town. Maybe it was because he didn't have a skanky tramp hanging off of him, but either way, I knew I wanted him. And when his lips pressed softly against mine, I was all but in heaven.

  My day had gone from mundane, to exciting in less than four hours. His scorching emerald green eyes had me at a loss for words and short of breath. But, as soon as he mentioned Arizona, my whole world shifted and my mind quickly threw up a wall and completely shut down. How were we ever supposed to make anything work, when he was going back to the very state I had just left? Granted, he wasn't aware of the situation or anything that had happened in between then and now, but would it really matter now?

  What was I even thinking? We weren't anything. We had just met and I was definitely readin' too far into anything with him. For crying out loud, he was eighteen and off to college and I had just barely turned seventeen and was starting my senior year in high school. What type of relationship could we even have?

  I knew pushing him away, was the wrong thing to do, but at this point, I needed to protect myself. Madison's feelings be damned. I still wanted more than anything, to go see his band play tonight, so I made sure to ask him about it before I headed home. Part of me was excited that he was bringing me into his world with the way he was. It was a nice world filled with hope, happiness and somethin' else I just couldn't quite put my finger on.

  As I walked away from this amazing guy and the blissful hour I could have had with him, I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed the one person I knew would always be there.

  "Hello." Her voice rang high and happy. What I wouldn't give to feel that type of happiness at this moment.

  "Hi love. How's it going?" I tried to make my voice more chipper than I felt, but she of course saw right through me.

  "What's wrong? And don't you dare lie to me?"

  I took in a deep breath before explaining Madison, his grandparents and everything in between. I didn't leave out one iota of information and I knew her mind was reeling with all that I had given her to think about. I waited patiently for her to respond and after a clear two minutes had passed, I pushed her.

  "Well?" I panted. I hadn't realized where I was going until I had reached the other end of my grandparent's property. "Cami, you're killing me. Please say something." I urged.

  "Sorry, I was just trying to digest everything. So, a cowboy huh?"

  I moaned loudly. "Seriously, that's what you narrowed in on?"

  "Uh, duh. Do you know how long I have waited to be able to go out to your grandparent's farm, just so I could meet me a tall, dark and handsome cowboy. Mmmhmmm."

  I shook my head and let out a loud laugh that echoed off of the nearby trees. Leave it to Cami to make me feel better, all by talking about a damn cowboy, when it was the one thing I didn't want to think about.

  "Kay, the only thing I can tell you is to hold onto your cowboy boots, because I'm pretty sure he is going to take you for one hell of a ride."

  "Ya know, if I wanted to get sarcasm, I would've just talked to my granddad about all this. You're so not helpin' the situation, bitch."

  "I love how your accent comes back the minute your tiny little feet hit that Texas soil. Well, I guess the question is, are you willing to see where it goes and possibly come back here?"

  I knew she was serious by the intensity in her tone. I didn't want to think about going back to Arizona, ever. I suppose it was a good question though. "Honestly, I don't know if any guy would be worth that pain." I hadn't hesitated in my response, because in all actuality, I wasn't even sure this thing that was happening between me and Madison, was even the real deal. I still needed to finish high school, he was headed off to college, and he had a band. I mean what future did we really have?

  "Well honey, I guess that's what you need to figure out first and foremost. Kay, just don't hold anything back. I know how hard it is going to be for you to open up and let someone in, but I think you owe it to yourself to try. Take this move as a chance to explore the real you, all of you, if you catch my drift." Her laugh brought a smile to my face and I couldn't help but giggle right along with her.

  "I'll talk to you soon, Cam. Take care."

  "Oh I will." She laughed. "Love ya, girly."

  "Me too." I closed my phone and sat down under one of the tall oak trees, swaying in the breeze. I laid back and stared at the afternoon sun through the sparse branches hovering above me. Why did life have to be so complicated so early on? Of course I blame my mother, or maybe my father. Oh hell, I'll just blame everyone else and take no responsibility, that sounded better. I'd rather be arrogantly oblivious than have to deal with my life.

  *****

  I must've dozed off in my hasty state, because when I came to, the sun was no longer shining brightly above me. I quickly checked the time on my phone and realized that I barely had a half an hour to get ready. I brushed the stray pieces of grass and leaves from my hair and hobbled my way to the house. I hadn't seen my grandmamma since we had gotten back, and I was now starting to feel a little guilty about it. I had let the day get away from me and I needed to find her and apologize.

  When I entered through the back door, I was startled when a small hand grasped the screen door behind me and clutched my arm. I jumped back in full on protection mode, as my eyes wandered up the frail arm, landing on my grandmamma's weary eyes.

  "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to startle ya."

  I let out the small breath I had been holding, pulling my small grandmother into my chest and closing my arms around her. I hadn't hugged her or my granddad to say thank you since I had arrived, and now was the prime opportunity to let her know how grateful I was.

  "Thank you, Grams."

  "What ever for, darlin'?

  Her eyes wandered up to mine and I squeezed mine shut tightly, trying not to let the tears escape down my face. "For welcoming me into your home. For givin' me a home." I smiled.

  She lightly slapped my upper arm, pulling out of my embrace. "You silly girl. Ya don't need to thank your granddaddy or me. We love ya more than anything else. This is your home now."

  I pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head, before heading for the stairs. "Oh and Grams, is it okay if I go out for a bit tonight?" I turned with my foot on the step, waiting for what, I didn't know, but I guess I was hoping more than anything that she didn't say no.

  "Of course, sweetheart. Ya need to be in by midnight, ya hear."

  I nodded in agreement and made it halfway up the stairs before I heard her small voice carry. "Oh and tell Madison, I say hello."

  I froze mid-stride and tried to slow my erratic breathing before turning all the way around to look down at my grandmamma. "How did ya know?" I breathed.

  "Oh honey, I know the effect of the Raine men, and I would recognize it anywhere. Now hurry up and get yourself ready to leave before your granddaddy gets home. I don't reckon he'll like this a whole lot."

  There were a million and one questions blazing through my mind, but I thought better of it and finished my hike upstairs. What did she mean by that? The Raine effect? I laughed at myself.

  Ridiculous.

  I rummaged through my new clothes, trying to find the perfect outfit for tonight, but found myself coming up empty handed. I threw myself onto the small bed, covering my eyes with my arm. It didn't matter what I wore, I'm pretty sure there would be enough girls there trying to get his attention, that he wouldn't even notice me.

  I sat up and glanced down at the pile of clothing in front of me, when it all but jumped out at me. A short white and yellow striped sundress lay there staring back at me. I reached for it and smiled knowing that this, paired with my boots were a deadly combination. I quickly threw my shorts and tank onto the floor in the corner of my room.

  I pulled the off the shoulder sundress over my head, and pulled my hair out from under it. I let the half naturally curly mane flow dow
n my back, even though the heat had me wanting to pull it up. I brushed on more than a normal amount of mascara for me. I knew it was going to be dark at the bar, but I needed to stand out a little bit more than normal.

  I swiped a bronze colored eye shadow across my lids and then dabbed a small amount of lip-gloss on. I stood back staring at my look, nodding. I tugged my boots on and made my way down the stairs. My grandmamma stared up at me with an adoring smile splayed across her face. I smiled in return and quickly grabbed my phone from where I had left it earlier and my small brown purse that was sitting on the table. I turned to glance at my grams one last time, before I headed out the front door.

  I walked a little ways down to the main road, just so Madison didn't have to come all the way up the long drive. When I saw his truck appear, I had to hold myself together. I immediately wanted to jump up, throwing my legs and arms around him, but I couldn't. Not only due to my injury, but because what would that say about me?

  He pulled up next to me and a small cloud of dust blew past as he put the truck in park. He rounded the corner of the front end and stopped, staring. The expression on his face was unreadable and I glanced down at myself, wondering what was wrong. He still stood unmoving, and I suddenly became extremely self-conscious.

  "What is it? Do I have something on me?" I frantically moved my hands across and down my dress and then across my face.

  A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and before I could respond to his rude behavior, he was standing directly in front of me. His hand went up to my hair, tucking a small amount behind my ear.

  "You look absolutely beautiful."

  I blushed at his genuineness and I smiled up at his gleaming face. Before I could respond, I couldn't help but take in his appearance. I know I hadn't known him long, but he looked damn near perfect in this moment. He had on a pair of dark wash, low slung straight-legged jeans, which formed to the muscles I knew he held underneath them.