This Love of Mine (Raine Series #1)

by Bennett, Amanda

  I'm pretty sure my small gesture caught him off guard. The look on that poor cowboy's face was one of fear and maybe even a little bit of intimidation. There was no doubt about it; I affected this guy just as much as he affected me.

  It took Madison a bit to work up the courage to touch me. At first, I could have sworn he was going to drape his arm around my shoulders, but I was wrong. He went straight for the kill, placing his hand precisely between my legs. My heart rate spiked and adrenaline went rushing through me. I had only ever been with Wren, but this felt entirely different. The way I felt when Madison touched me was pure elation. When Wren had touched me, it was pure disgust. I could feel my body's response to his subtle touch almost immediately.

  I didn't think I was ready to sleep with Madison, even though I really wanted to, but I was so willing to do anything else I could think of. I could feel the moisture pooling in my panties as his fingers traced small, soothing circles on my upper thigh. I sat there silently willing his hand to travel just a little further north. And as if he had heard exactly what I was thinking, his hand slowly started making its way closer and closer to where I needed to feel him the most.

  Instead of making circles, his hand was now rubbing my thigh back and forth, moving further and further up with each motion. A small moan escaped my lips and I quickly glanced up at him to see if he had heard me. If he had, he never gave any indication, but he also never stopped caressing my leg. My hand had remained unmoving on top of his thigh, with no notion of me moving it anytime soon.

  As his hand rubbed up my left thigh, his long, deft fingers grazed the thin lace fabric covering what I yearned for him to touch. I took a sharp intake of breath as it made contact once more. He must've noticed my reaction because he was soon moving past the lace to feel the origin of the wetness that was now covering his fingertips. I leaned my head over onto his shoulder and moved my hand slowly, but meticulously up his thigh. Just as my fingers grazed over the rather large bulge in his pants, we made a sharp turn and I realized we were now on my road. I slowly pulled my hand back onto my lap, and he must've done the same at some point, because my panties were now securely back to their rightful position and he had both hands covering the steering wheel.

  I let out a strangled breath as we inched closer up the drive. I wasn't ready to leave him. I needed more. He must have sensed my disappointment as he came to a complete stop just outside of my grandparent's house, because he turned towards me and didn't waste a second capturing my mouth with his.

  Our tongues moved in unison and massaged one another’s gently but passionately. Thoughts of taking it further flashed through my mind like a movie. Every time his mouth moved with mine, I became increasingly eager and I wasn't willing to stop what might happen. I pushed my hands back through his hair and tugged. I pulled him into me until I was practically sitting on his still erect lap. I was about to slide my hand down between our conjoined bodies to touch him, when I felt him pulling away.

  When I looked up, his eyes held more than just lust in them, I saw fear. Real unbridled, unadulterated fear. I quickly glanced out the window that he was looking through, when I caught sight of a small lean woman underneath the porch light. My breath hitched in my throat, and my breathing became ragged as reality settled in. My momma was here, and she was waiting for me.

  Chapter 18

  Madison

  The look on Kayla's face was one of crippling fear. Everything about her, told me she was terrified of the small woman standing on her porch. I couldn't make out many of the woman's features, but the glow emanating from the porch light emphasized her eyes, and I knew in an instant that the woman must be her mother.

  I reached over, cradling Kayla's hand in my own and pressed a small kiss to the inside of her palm. I wanted her to feel reassured, in a moment when she looked anything but. Our seemingly good night had turned to shit in an instant.

  I didn't know the story behind how Kayla had been hurt, but by the way she was shooting daggers towards her mother, I could only assume that she had something to do with what had happened. I glanced over at Kayla when she hadn't moved. She was focused on the dark silhouette and nothing else. The truck had since become eerily quiet and I needed to break the tension somehow.

  I brushed a loose strand of hair from her face and bent my face down near the nape of her neck. "Are you going to be okay, sweetheart? I was prepared for a lie, but what I wasn't prepared to hear was the truth, but that's exactly what I got.

  "No, no I'm not. That's my momma standin' there." She pointed in the direction of the woman staring back at us. "The stab wound on my leg, that woman, she's the one who did it."

  My mouth fell open in shock and my mind began moving a million miles a minute, trying to comprehend what I had just heard. I was tryin' to think of something, anything to say, but my words failed me. I was having a hard time fathoming how someone could do something so heinous to their own child. She must have sensed my trepidation because she bowed her head into my shoulder. I pulled her deeper into my chest while running my hand up and down her back. If that wasn't a woman standing up there, I would have been out of my truck in a second flat, and beating the shit out of her.

  "What happened, Kayla?" I whispered into the top of her head before pressing my lips into her hair.

  "She and my ex didn't want me leaving, so they tried to stop me. That's about it." She gave me a weak smile and then pushed herself up and started scooting towards the door.

  Before her hand reached the handle, I caught it with mine and gently turned her upper body towards me. "Let me come in with you? Kayla, I can't leave you here to deal with her all alone."

  "You can't Madison. I wont let you. I care for you too much, to let you see the inside of my messed up world."

  I was in shock, most girls would love to have a guy standin' up for them. "Are you sure? I need you to know, that I don't like this idea, one bit! Will you at least call me if you need anything, and I mean anything at all?" She nodded her head and then exited the truck.

  The crisp night air shot through the inside of the cab as soon as her body had vacated the seat next to me. My heart dropped and adrenaline soared through my veins. The uncertainty of the situation weighed heavy on my heart and mind. There was nothing I wouldn't do to protect this girl.

  After the truck door slammed shut, she turned and gave a small wave. I waved in return, but there was no way in hell I was leavin' just yet. I watched as her hips bounced back and forth, as she slowly made her way over to the stairs leading up to the front door. The moonlight caught her hair at that moment and it looked iridescent and beautiful. My mind was reeling. I couldn't believe that just a few short minutes ago, we were having one of the nights I had ever had.

  My thoughts floated back to her hand on my thigh and mine on hers. I was shocked that she had allowed me to get as far as I had, but I wasn't one to complain. She felt so soft and warm against my touch. I glanced down at my fingertips that had been lucky enough to feel exactly what I could do to her.

  I shook the thoughts from my mind, trying to concentrate on her and her mother. That seemed to be more than enough to keep my mind occupied. Kayla still had a slight limp that I had noticed again, when I first picked her up tonight. If she was in pain she certainly made no indication otherwise. Regardless, I could see the struggle as she reached for the handrail leading up to the front porch. Her head snapped back quickly, making sure that I was still there, I presumed. I wasn't quite sure if she could see me from that distance, but I smiled a large reassuring smile, before she turned her attention back to her mother.

  This was hell, watching her gettin' that close to someone who had hurt her so badly. I'm not sure what I expected to happen, but I kept a close eye on her just in case she needed my help.

  She was now standin' in front of the petite woman, and before I knew it, she was turning to wave good-bye and then disappeared into the house. I questioned whether I should stay and see if she needed me, or if I should just head home. She
had my cell phone number from earlier, so I knew if she needed me she would call, just like I asked her to.

  I turned the ignition over and the truck roared to life beneath me. I threw it in gear and continued around the circular drive. As I neared the end of her driveway and hit the main road, I stopped. I pushed my hands back through my hair and pulled them down over my face.

  I was suddenly extremely pissed and irritated. Why hadn't' she told me who had done this to her? Did she think I wouldn't be there for her? Because that was just preposterous. In the short amount of time I had known her, I would've done anything for her.

  Once I started driving again, I decided at the last minute to take the back road to get to my house. It only shaved off about two minutes, but at this point, two minutes, was two minutes. All the lights were off at my grandparent's house, so I proceeded towards the open patch of field that joined our two properties. I knew if anything, she would end up out here if things got bad.

  ****

  I wasn't sure how long I had been pacing, but I was beginning to wear a small path in the grass below me. My hair was going to fall out soon if I didn't stop running my hands through it either. I checked my cell phone at least a dozen times, but still nothing. I was beyond worried, and I was now going crazy. From where I stood, I could tell there were a few lights illuminated throughout her house, but not enough to give any indication that her grandparents were awake.

  I lit a cigarette from the pack I had stashed by one of the old willow trees, and pulled the nicotine in through my lungs, instantly relieving some of my angst. Just as I looked up through a small cloud of smoke, a light went out, followed by another. One by one, the house went dark. I took in a deep breath, willing her to come to me. To run into the comfort of my open and willing arms, but I stood there empty handed and somewhat broken hearted.

  After I finished my smoke and she still hadn't come out of her back door, I begrudgingly started making my way back to my grandparent's house. Before I went inside and before I hauled myself off to bed, I made the decision to call Glenn. I hadn't really said bye to him earlier, and I also needed to tell someone what was going on. Given the fact that I had known Glenn practically my whole life, he knew every single detail about me, personal or not. Relief washed over me when he picked up after only one ring.

  "What's up, bro?" It was loud in the background and I assumed he was still at the bar.

  "Hey man, I need someone to talk to for a minute. Ya got a sec?"

  "The long thing between your legs, that's called a penis and it usually goes into a vagina." He started laughing hysterically at his horrible joke and I couldn't bring myself to laugh along with him.

  "No dick, I'm not fuckin' stupid. It's a bit complicated, can ya talk?"

  "Yeah hold on, let me make my way outside."

  I held the phone to my ear, listening to all of the other patrons as he walked past them. He stopped and greeted a few, and then eventually the line went quiet. I waited a second or two longer for him to start talking, but he was seriously takin' his sweet ass time.

  "GLENN!" I shouted into the speaker.

  "What, bro? Sorry I was takin' a leak. I'm good now, so what the fuck is goin' on?"

  "I have a bit of a situation here. When I dropped KJ off at her grandparent's house, her mother was waiting for her on the front porch. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but apparently her mother is the one who inflicted the injury to her leg. Remember the one I told you about?" I was praying he was listening when I told him the other day.

  "Yeah, I remember. So what's up, did she finally tell you what happened?"

  "In a sense, yeah. It was her mom, bro." I waited for Glenn's delayed reaction.

  "What the fuck, bro? Who does that to their own kid?"

  "I don't know, but apparently her ex was involved in all of it too. This is just so fucked up. I don't even know what to say or do at this point. FUCK!" I shouted into the still night air.

  This was far beyond anything I had dealt with before, and I had no clue how to even go about dealing with the situation. I could tell my grandfather, but he would probably be more pissed off at the fact that I was spending time with Kayla, even after he warned me not to. I had an overwhelming need to take care of this girl, and never let anyone around her. If it were an option, I would take her with me and never let her out of my sight. I knew this wasn't a reasonable option, but fuck if I didn't want it more than anything.

  "What do you wanna do? I'll help you with whatever. I just need to know. Do you want me to head over to your house now?"

  I appreciated Glenn and his friendship more than any other friend I had ever had. This kid was always willing to lay his life down, regardless of any situation we, or myself had gotten us into.

  "That's the thing, bro, I don't know what to do. I'm leavin' in two weeks, how am I supposed to take care of her and go away for school? I mean I know I just met her, but I have never felt this way about anybody. I'm at a loss, Glenn."

  I sat on the old stump of one of the willow trees we had lost in a fire awhile back. I had made my way back to 'our' spot somehow. I hung my head in my hands, and if I weren’t so pissed, I probably would've cried. How do you choose between two futures? On the one hand, I had a full ride scholarship to play ball in Arizona, but on the other hand, I had this amazing girl that I would do anything to have as my own, possibly for forever. Knowing she would most likely never return to Arizona is what was causing the biggest conundrum of them all.

  "Bro, I can't tell you what to do. I know how hard you've worked to get to where you are, but I see the way you look at that girl. Unfortunately, you have to either make a decision, or let her know that you can do both if needed. You can always come back and visit, and she can visit you. She's goin' into her senior year, yeah?"

  "Yeah." I whispered.

  "Well see, if y'all can make it through one more year, y'all will be golden. That's the only advice I got."

  "Thanks, man. I'm just not sure how to feel about it all, ya know?"

  "I hear ya."

  My head snapped up when I heard rustlin' in the grass beside me. I turned my head in the direction of her house, and caught sight of her beautiful, mascara-ridden face. Shock shot across her face and I jumped up, makin' my way over to her.

  "Glenn, I'll talk to you later."

  I hung up before he could respond and I ran to Kayla's fragile frame, standing a few feet away from me. I pulled her deeply into my embrace. I wanted to make sure she felt protected with me, regardless of the situation. My fingers pushed through her long russet tendrils, pulling her head into my chest. I needed her to understand how I felt about her, even when words were failing me.

  "Are you okay?" I whispered into the top of her head so softly I wasn't even sure if she had heard me.

  She shook her head in my chest and I could feel the tears soaking through my shirt. I wanted to take all of her pain away. I wanted to be the one person she could always count on, but even that seemed impossible at the moment. There wasn't anything I could say to make this situation better or even tolerable. I needed her to know how I felt about her, but I wasn't willing to put it all out there, when she had made no attempt to let me know that was what she wanted to hear.

  "What is she doing here?"

  It felt like an eternity before she finally pulled back away from me enough to answer.

  "She wants me to come home." Her voice was strained, and I could tell that she had been yelling.

  "Are you fuckin' kidding me? How the hell could she possibly think that you would go?"

  I was livid now. I wanted to storm into her grandparent's house and ring that bitch's neck. Woman or not, she deserved it. I was beyond pleasantries at this point. Her mother deserved everything that was about to come her way.

  "Trust me, I don't want to go, but what other choice do I have? She told me that my grandparents called and asked her to take me back. She said that they practically begged." The tears were now falling endlessly down her puffy
cheeks. I cradled her face in my capable hands, wiping the tears away with the pads of my thumbs.

  "I don't believe that for one fuckin' second, Kayla. I know your grandparents, and I know that they would never agree to this if they knew the entire story. Were they around while you two were talkin'?"

  "No of course not. Momma said they called her out here and then asked her not to wake them while we talked. She wants me to leave right now. She all but packed my bags for me. She's waitin' inside for me, but I told her I needed to say good-bye to someone first."

  My hands fell to my sides in anger, exhaustion, defeat, I'm not quite sure. A million different things were floating through my mind at that moment, and not letting her go was at the top of that list. "What about, us?" I pointed between the two of us. I knew I sounded selfish, but something this good, can't be wrong or this short lived, right?

  "I'm so sorry Madison. Believe me, if there was another option, I would take it in an instant. The feelings I feel for you, are somthin' I've never felt before. It doesn't matter though. I'm not wanted here."

  My hands pushed back through the sides of her hair, as I pulled her mouth to mine. I put every last ounce of emotion I had left in me, into that kiss. Her lips were soft and inviting and I wasn't about to turn down that invitation.

  My tongue swiped along her lower lip and she immediately granted me entrance. She tasted sweet and salty from her tears. I deepened the kiss, pulling her up into my arms. I reached down and gently wrapped her legs around my waist. I slowly walked us over to the small patch of grass that was hidden by a small shed. I pushed her back up against the shed, with more force than intended. It must not have fazed her, because she was grappling with my shirt as she deepened our fervent kiss.

  We abandoned all caution and stood in that moment, just she and I. I had to have this girl, feel her, and love her, even if it was only for a night. I needed this more than I needed air to breathe at the moment. Nothing could ruin this moment with her. Nothing!