This Love of Mine (Raine Series #1)

by Bennett, Amanda

  ****

  I was due to leave around eleven tonight and for some reason, I just had a feeling that she would be out in that open patch of land, waiting for me. Whether it was to say good-bye or tell me to go to hell, I found myself hoping and praying that she would be there. It was ten forty five, when I said my good-byes to my grandparents and made my way out to that field. My hands were sweating, my heart was racing and I swear I was about to pass out, but all that only intensified, when I saw her brown locks blowing in the breeze as her back was turned to me.

  I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath as I neared the tree where she stood. I wasn't exactly sure what to say to her, but I was hoping that it would just come to me, just as my growing love for her had. She must've heard me, because she quickly turned around and ran straight into my arms. I wasn't sure how to react, but I held her tightly, almost as if I would never see her again. I could feel her tears soaking through my shirt and it took everything inside of me not to beg her to come with me, or even drag her back to my truck.

  I ran my fingers through her long dark hair as she pressed her face deeper into my chest. Neither of us spoke as we stood there, holding one another, knowing this was good-bye.

  When she finally pulled back, I looked down into her sparkling blue eyes, wet with sadness. I ran the pads of my thumbs underneath them, removing the black mascara that had pooled at the bottom. She was so beautiful, even when she looked a mess. Man, how I loved this girl.

  "I just had to say a proper good-bye. I couldn't let you go thinkin' I hated you. I know why you did what you did and it makes me want to love you all that more. You're something else, Madison Raine. Think of me often." Her voice was trembling and all I wanted to do was ease her pain.

  "Always, Kayla James, always. We'll find our way back to each other, I just know it. You were meant for me KJ. I believe that. Can I call you when I get there?" I wasn't sure what she was going to say, but her saying anything was better than nothing at all.

  "You better." She smiled a true genuine smile and my heart soared. I would come back for her. If it was the last thing I did, I would do it, sooner rather than later.

  Chapter 25

  Kayla

  I watched through hooded eyes and endless falling tears as he walked away from me. I wasn't sure when I would see him again, but I knew I would at least hear from him in a few days. I gave a small wave before folding my arms over my shaking chest. My tears kept falling and my heart was still breaking, when he finally disappeared into the darkness. I clutched at my chest as my cries racked through my body, causing me to tremble and fall to the ground below me.

  The wind had picked up and I could smell the faint hint of marijuana in the air. I quietly pushed myself up off of the grass, and started making my way back towards the house, as an uneasy feeling settled into my chest. Something felt off, and everything seemed to slow down. The smell assaulted my nose once again and I quickly came to a halt right where I stood. Before I could react, I heard his voice extremely close to my ear. Shivers ran down my spine as I willed this all to be a horrible nightmare.

  "Now that he's out of the way. Did you really think I would let you go so easily? I'll let you go, Kayla, but not without leaving you with a small piece of me."

  I slowly turned around and came face to face with the one guy I had hoped I would never have to see again, Wren.

  I opened my mouth to speak but before I could get a word out, the entire world around me went black.

  Epilogue

  Kayla

  Sometimes in life you question how things could have been different. I know I did. My life had never been easy, and I guess I had myself to blame. As easily as things come to you, they can be taken away. Never doubt or question your love for someone else, because it could be the last time you experience it. Live everyday as though it were your last, because you never know when it really could be.

  I truly believe that I loved Madison. I wanted to believe it more than anything, but so many things held me back from telling him that. If only I would've told him, maybe then this wouldn't have happened to me. Maybe one day, one day he will know how I felt and only then will I truly feel free. In all my blackness, I just wanted him. I wanted, my cowboy.

  To be continued....

  (Look for book #2 in The Raine Series due out May 2013)

  And check out the first 3 chapters of a new adult contemporary romance coming October 16, 2013 (date and content subject to change)

  Beneath You're Beautiful

  By Tamsyn Bester

  Prologue

  ~ Huntley ~

  I know first-hand how hard life can be. I don’t pretend that it’s all butterflies and roses. When I moved to Breckinridge, Alabama, it was so that I could start over and forget about my past, even just for a little while. I had it all figured out then. I would go to college, graduate and then start my career as a child psychologist. For the most part it was simple, fool proof. Until Grayson Carter walked into my life.

  Now, as I lay here praying to God that someone will find me and for the pain to subside, I realise that he is the one who pieced me back together. I think it took 2 weeks for me to fall for him and it scared the shit out of me. He made me feel things I didn’t think possible. It was unfortunate that our pasts collided the way they did but I couldn’t bring myself to regret that they had.

  I hope he knows I love him and that I always will. He might have walked away but there is a piece of him inside me that will keep us tied together.

  Forever.

  "Beneath Your Beautiful"

  (feat. Emeli Sandé)

  You tell all the boys "No"

  Makes you feel good, yeah.

  I know you're out of my league

  But that won't scare me away, oh, no

  You've carried on so long,

  You couldn't stop if you tried it.

  You've built your wall so high

  That no one could climb it,

  But I'm gonna try.

  Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?

  Would you let me see beneath your perfect?

  Take it off now, girl, take it off now, girl

  I wanna see inside

  Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?

  You let all the girls go

  Makes you feel good, don't it?

  Behind your Broadway show

  I heard a boy say, "Please, don't hurt me"

  You've carried on so long

  You couldn't stop if you tried it.

  You've built your wall so high

  That no one could climb it.

  But I'm gonna try

  Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?

  Would you let me see beneath your perfect?

  Take it off now, boy, take it off now, boy

  I wanna see inside

  Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight, oh, tonight?

  See beneath, see beneath,

  I...

  Tonight

  I...

  I'm gonna climb on top your ivory tower

  I'll hold your hand and then we'll jump right out

  We'll be falling, falling but that's OK

  'Cause I'll be right here

  I just wanna know

  Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?

  Would you let me see beneath your perfect?

  Take it off now, girl, take it off now, girl (take it off now, boy,take it off now, boy)

  'Cause I wanna see inside

  Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight, oh, oh, oh, tonight?

  See beneath your beautiful, oh, tonight.

  We ain't perfect, we ain't perfect, no.

  Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?

  Chapter 1

  ~ Huntley ~

  “Are you ready sweetheart?”

  I spin around at the sound of my aunts’ voice. She’s standing in the doorway to my old bedroom with a box tucked under her arm. “I�
�ll be down in a minute,” I reply

  I take one last opportunity to look around my childhood bedroom, remembering where everything once stood. It would be impossible to forget this place but I would never be able to recall the few good memories it held. Those were all tainted, the innocence ripped apart and thrown away.

  Thinking about my mother is difficult, especially when the house still smells like her. It has been just over four months and her vanilla perfume still lingers everywhere, wrapping itself around me like a blanket. Every time I look in the mirror it is as if she’s staring right back at me. I have her long blonde hair, crystal blue eyes, heart shaped face and button nose. That is where our resemblance ends. Where she was short and willowy, I inherited my fathers’ taller and slightly muscular build. Thinking about my parents brings a wistful smile to my face, the melancholy of the moment palpable.

  I quickly wipe a tear that rolls down my cheek and pick up the rest of my meagre possessions.

  This was it. I’m about walk out on 17 years of memories and never look back. Am I ready for this? I have no idea. All I know was that I need a new beginning, a chance to start over and try to move forward with the pieces of my life that are left over.

  As much as I want to forget the events that have lead me to this point, I won’t be able to. They are of such a nature that remembering them would continue to keep me alive and safe. I need to remember how my mother died; it serves as a constant reminder of how close I came to making her mistakes. It’s taken me months to build the carefully constructed walls that now protect the pieces of my frail heart.

  Moving 3000miles to Breckinridge, Alabama won’t keep me safe, I know that, but it’s the closest thing to home I’ve ever really had. I spent countless summers there visiting my uncle Alex and aunt Emma and after everything around me fell apart, it seemed the most logical place to go to. I needed family and since I didn’t have parents, my uncle and aunt were the next best thing. Literally.

  “Ok, let’s get the show on the road”, my uncle Alex yells from the front seat of his truck. My aunt meets me at the bottom of the stairs and pulls me into a one-armed hug before walking me to the car.

  As we pull away from the curb I look back one last time, wishing that my parents were here with me. The familiar ache that had made itself at home in my chest not so long ago returns and as soon as the small 2 bedroom, dilapidated house disappears from my view I promise myself that no matter what, no one would ever get close enough to break me again.

  ****

  It feels like days before we arrive in Breckinridge. It’s a quaint little town where everybody knows everybody and most people who were born here, died here.

  My exhaustion is diminished as soon as we park in front of the apartment building where I’ll be staying while I attend Whitley University. I argued with my uncle and aunt over getting my own place since they stayed 20 minutes away from the main campus, but eventually got them to concede. I got them to understand that it was never about whether or not I was welcome to stay with them; I need my own place and the chance to experience college the way I’m supposed to. I need some form of normality. Admittedly, that in itself isn’t going to be easy.

  My apartment is on the 5th floor and the only 2 bedroom apartment left without a tenant. I’m still deciding whether or not to get a roommate but figured I could use the extra room as a guest room in the meantime. The idea of having a complete stranger move in with me makes me all sorts of uncomfortable, my imagination drifting to possibly ending up with a serial killer or closet pervert for a roommate.

  When I open the door and walk in there is no chance of supressing the thrill that comes with finally having a place I could call my own.

  The small foyer opens up to a spacious open plan living area, kitchen, balcony and another hallway to the left that leads to a master bedroom, guest bedroom and guest bathroom. Hardwood floors stretch through every space and compliment the earth tones that spread across the walls. It immediately feels like home. My little home.

  To my surprise, it has already been furnished with plush leather couches, a large brown shag carpet, and all the electronic equipment imaginable. Thinking how busy my aunt has been furnishing this place makes me laugh. She always goes above and beyond and I love her more for it.

  Walking into the master bedroom my attention immediately falls on the King size bed in the middle of the room. The covers are all ivory in colour, and soft, with huge matching pillows. I would have to thank my aunt for buying me all this. I know they can afford it but I hate the thought of them spending money on me. It’s definitely a step up from the single bed I grew up with. In fact, everything around me is luxury I’m not accustomed to.

  The feel of the plush white carpet under my toes is amazing, spreading across most of the hardwood floor. The walk-in closet, filled with new clothes, shoes and accessories catches my attention next

  Oh. My. Goddamn… this stuff must’ve cost a fortune…

  I let out a small gasp at the sight of the gorgeous clothes that I assume are now mine. The shoes were just as beautiful. I giggle when my eyes catch sight of not one but three pairs of cowboy boots, all in different colours. It would be wrong not to have them, living in a place like this. This town is as Southern as they came.

  “Did I get your sizes right sweetheart?”

  I jump, startled at the sound of my aunt Emma’s voice. “Aunt Em, this is too much! I can’t accept all this!” It really was too much.

  “Oh nonsense! I may have gone a little overboard but it is nothing less than you deserve. Your uncle Alex and I want you to feel at home, because as of right now this is and always will be your home. Besides, I didn’t want you starting you first day of classes tomorrow stickin’ out like a Barbie doll at a Rodeo.” She smiles and opens her arms, a gesture I’ve become very familiar with when she wants to hug me.

  As she embraces me a small tear slides down my cheek and I wipe it, but not before she sees me. I have so many emotions running through my mind, I have no idea whether to cry or jump up and down from excitement.

  “Hey now, we won’t be havin’ any more of that you hear?” she puts her hands on my shoulder, “I know the last few months have been hard for you baby girl but you have a family here that love you. I don’t want to be your mamma but I’m here for anything you need, and I know uncle Alex feels the same way. And I also know the girls are super excited to have you here too! Hannah and Finley have been tellin’ all their friends about their big cousin comin’ to stay here. We want you to be happy here, this is where you belong,” she states matter-of-factly.

  I smile at her Southern accent; it was such a warm, soothing sound to my ears.

  “I can’t thank you enough for what you and uncle Alex have done for me. It is more than I could’ve dreamed of. I don’t know how I would ever be able to repay you” I choke out.

  Great, these stupid tears just love popping up uninvited…

  “First of all sweetheart, stop with this uncle and aunt stuff. It makes me feel old! Its Emma and Alex from now on alright? And second, you are as much a daughter to me as my two brats are so of course I will give you as much as I can. But you can still repay us by joining us for Sunday lunch every week and stoppin’ by your Uncle’s office every now and then” she teases with a wink. Before I can respond she starts again.

  God this woman could talk an ear off a horse if given half the chance…

  “Now,” her eyes grow serious, “you take a minute or two to get settled while I unpack some of your things. Once we’ve left you can have yourself a nice long bath! I hope you’ll like your well-stocked bathroom,” she snickers. With that she kisses me on the forehead and leaves.

  Standing alone in my big room I’m suddenly overwhelmed by how loved I feel. I was a little girl the last time I felt this way. Thoughts of my mother pop into my head again and I missed her.

  Her funeral was held a month after her death. We decided to have her buried here in Breckinridge, next to my fathers’ grave. It is
what she would’ve wanted, and it’s only a few miles away so I can go visit her grave whenever I want to.

  My Uncle Alex and Aunt Emma are both very well-known here in Breckinridge. Uncle Alex is the coach of the Whitley University Football team and because they are the current state champions, it gives him a kind of ‘celebrity’ status. Aunt Emma owns the biggest Bakery in town and is also involved in every charity and fundraising event to take place throughout the year. But the job she loves the most is that of ‘mamma’ to my two little cousins. Hannah is 4 years old and Finley 6. They are easily the cutest toddlers in town and it’s no secret that I adore them both.

  A knock at the door drags me from my reverie and I turn from my spot by the window. My uncle Alex stands in my doorway and takes up most of the frame with his huge body. On the outside he looks mean and fierce, but on the inside he’s a big ole giant teddy bear. I know that from experience but also from seeing how he cherishes his wife and two daughters. He told me shortly before I decided to move here that he feels the same way about me and that he’s happy to have me as part of his little family. Of course I cried after that conversation.

  “Can I come in sweetheart?” he asks. I smile at the term him and my aunt had grown accustomed to calling me. My father was the only other person to refer to me as his ‘sweetheart’ and hearing it makes the pieces of my heart fit together again.

  “Sure.” I walk over to the bed and sit down, noticing that he has a guitar case in his hand. I know how to play a guitar, thanks to a very adamant mother who sent me for lessons even when she could barely afford it. She said my father played and she wanted me to learn so I could still keep a part of him with me.

  “I hope you like your room, your aunt Em went a little crazy in here but she wanted to make sure you had everything you might need,” he says nervously, glancing around.

  “I love it, thank you Uncle Alex.”

  He looks at me before speaking again, a sad expression settling itself on his handsome face. “Now this guitar belonged to your daddy. He gave it to me shortly before he died and asked me to hang on to it until I could get it to you. Somehow he knew he wasn’t gonna be around much longer. He also left a sealed envelope tucked away inside and told me you had to read it when the time is right.”