by Leigh Walker
I swallowed hard over a sudden lump in my throat. “You’ve certainly had a change of heart about me.”
“That’s true.” She laughed. “And it’s because I know the truth now. So we’re going to show you how special you are, but it’s going to get ugly. Remember, no matter what happens, that you and I are friends now. Promise?”
…it’s going to get ugly…you and I are friends now… Her words whirled through my mind, leaving me with a stabbing headache.
“Why do you want to be my friend now? You haven’t liked me from the beginning.”
She blew out a deep breath. “I was trying to vet you. But like I said, I know the truth now. And I’m getting on the right side of it. Okay?”
I looked at her miserably. “If you’re really my friend, please tell me why this is happening to me.”
“The same reason it happened to me,” Emma said. “Fate. Or whatever you call it when your life turns out the way someone else wants it to.”
“Who wants my life to turn out this way?”
“The Division, Riley. And they always get what they want.”
After our walk, Emma headed to the dormitory. I headed to the kitchen, because…cake. She’d mentioned there was cake. With too many warring thoughts in my head, cake was the only thing that made sense.
Kyan was in the kitchen, rummaging through the large refrigerator. He grunted when I came in and eyed me. “You look like you need some chocolate.”
Sweaty and disheveled from my long day, I sat down at a table with a thud. “You could say that.”
Kyan slid a large piece of chocolate cake in front of me. “I’m here to help.”
I shoveled a bite into my mouth and inspected him as he sat down. His bleached hair was slightly long and swept back. Both sides of his head were shaved underneath. “What’s with the lightning bolt?” I asked.
“I’m the fastest on the team. I just like to remind everyone.” He took a sip of his drink, a green, healthy-looking smoothie. “I’m glad you’re here. I wanted to talk to you before you went any further in this process.”
I sat up straighter, instantly on alert. “Okay…”
Kyan played with his straw. “Not everyone is happy to be here.”
“At Freel?”
“With the team. Not everyone’s happy to be with the team.”
All thoughts of chocolate cake ceased. “Why not?”
Kyan leaned forward, and his cologne wafted across the table—something exotic and expensive, I guessed. “They’re not telling us enough. We don’t know anything about what our upcoming assignment is or what type of danger we’ll be in. Then they go and recruit you, and you don’t even know what the hell you are.”
I had so many questions. I didn’t know where to start. “How long have you been with The Division?”
“Long enough to know that they won’t tell me anything they don’t want to—and they won’t tell you anything, either.” He ran a hand through his hair, artfully pushing back his long bangs. “I’m telling you this so you keep an open mind. Don’t blindly accept their directions. I say, if you want to leave, leave.”
“Emma said I couldn’t. She said they wouldn’t let me go, even now.”
“She might be right. She knows things,” Kyan said.
“Are you thinking of leaving?”
He shrugged his muscular shoulders. “Maybe. I just want to be smart about it. And I wanted to talk to you, so if you have any questions, you know you can come to me. You can trust me. Some of the others, not so much.” He cocked his head to the side for a moment and seemed to be considering something. “You should go now. Cranston wants us in our dorms if we’re not training.”
“Okay.” Nervously, I stood to go.
Kyan reached for my plate and pulled it toward him. “I’ll take care of this for you.”
“Thanks.” Appetite long gone, I hustled to the door.
I almost jumped out of my skin when I ran into Finn in the hallway, standing just outside the kitchen. “Were you listening to us?”
He shrugged, his jaw taut. “No.”
I didn’t believe him, but I was anxious to go to bed and put the confusing day behind me. “Well, see you tomorrow.”
He stepped in front of me. “Riley…you did well today.”
“Thanks.”
I tried to move around him, but he blocked me.
“Not everyone’s going to be happy about that.”
“Why not?”
Finn jerked his head toward the kitchen. “Some people aren’t as…dedicated…as they should be.”
I raised my chin. “Some people have questions, is all. I don’t think that’s wrong.”
Finn’s dark eyes searched mine. “No, it’s not wrong. But talking about it is dangerous. Don’t get sucked into anything, at least, not until you know have all the facts and know where you stand.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“If you say so.” He stepped away so I could pass. “Fine.”
“Fine.” But as I hustled to bed, I’d never felt less fine in my life.
10
Stress Test
For the next few days, I completed each the physical test Cranston set out for me. Other than that, all I did was eat and sleep. I was completely physically exhausted. I had a feeling that was by Cranston’s design. He wanted me tired, too tired to ask questions, too tired to run away.
I considered the conversations I’d had with Emma, Finn, and Kyan. I still didn’t know what to make of everything. But as I watched everyone in our group work out, day after day with laser-like focus, it became clear they were training for something—and it wasn’t how to artfully distribute bark mulch.
Josh, Finn, and Emma mostly made themselves scarce. When we talked, it was about the weather, how I’d done in the trials that day, and the dinner menu. A forced, tense normalness descended on our group. Everyone pretended to be ordinary. Kyan didn’t approach me again, and I wondered if Finn had warned him not to. My teammates smiled at me over their bowls of cereal in the morning and their bowls of ice cream at night, but I struggled with what I’d been told.
No one mentioned The Division—not even me. I didn’t know what to say or what else to ask. I went through each day in a sort of trance, turning in an almost flawless physical performance in spite of my desire to return to Hollingsworth.
But even as my body performed, my thoughts wandered a million miles away.
Emma stayed friendly, but she didn’t tell me anything else. I had the feeling she couldn’t, so I didn’t push it. She’d given me enough to think about.
Even though Cranston worked me to the bone, I continued my daily solo runs. I didn’t ask Finn to go with me. I considered this time alone, the precious hour I got, a mental-health break. On the third morning at Freel, I grabbed a protein bar from the kitchen, popped in my ear buds, and headed outside. I planned to run the trail Finn had shown me. I should be able to finish the six miles before it was time for my next test. Hopefully, the exercise would give me the emotional clarity I needed to make it through another day of this charade.
The problem? I worried it wasn’t a charade. I worried The Division was…real. And where the hell would that leave me?
I started toward the stream, music blaring, when I caught some movement in my peripheral vision. Finn was over at the track, laughing and talking to someone—the tall, Indian, perfect-looking girl. Rachel. She smiled back at him, pulling up her lithe thigh to stretch it.
My stomach bubbled with acid as I turned away. Were they a couple? I hadn’t seen them interact a lot, but those smiles gutted me. They looked stunning together. Rachel was loads more appropriate girlfriend material for Finn than I could ever be. They were in the same league.
I ran faster, my eyes filling stupidly with tears.
I made it to the woods, where I wiped my eyes and turned up my music, wanting to block my thoughts. I concentrated on my pace and pumping my arms. After a few minutes, the rest of the world fell aw
ay. I pushed myself hard so I could focus only on taking the next step as my lungs burned. I checked my watch. I’d run a seven-minute mile, very fast by my standards.
I rounded the path’s corner when suddenly, someone grabbed my shoulder from behind, yanking me backward.
I screamed.
They yanked out my ear buds. “Jesus, Riley—stop it!”
I staggered backward as Cranston towered over me, his face red and angry. His ice-blue eyes darted over my face. “I told you not to wear these goddamned ear buds! You didn’t even hear me coming up behind you!”
He wasn’t the only angry one. “You didn’t need to grab me like that!” I spluttered.
“Yes, I did! I yelled your name for five minutes. You didn’t even turn around!”
“What do you want?”
“I want you to start listening to me. I don’t want you out here by yourself with those things in. It makes you vulnerable. Anybody could sneak up on you.”
I crossed my arms against my chest. “Who would sneak up on me, besides you…sir?”
He pointed at me. “Lose the attitude, soldier.”
I threw up my hands. “I’m not a soldier.”
Cranston regarded me. “Emma told me what you two talked about. She told you the truth, Riley.”
“Well, if it’s true, and you’re my commanding officer, you’re doing a crap job.” The words were out of my mouth before I could think it through. “You haven’t told me anything, and you’re not exactly encouraging me to want to work for you. You came out here and scared the bejeezus out of me and then yelled at me. Not exactly great motivation!”
“I was trying to prove a point—”
“But that’s not what’s important, and you know it. You might know what Emma told me, but you haven’t said one word about why I’m here and why you’re making me do all these crazy tests. Forget the stupid ear buds!” I didn’t typically yell at adults, but my nerves were stretched taut, close to fraying.
The image of Finn with Rachel bubbled right below the surface, but I vehemently ignored it.
He said nothing for a minute. “Are you finished?”
No. Not even close. “Yes. Sir.”
“Would you like to keep running? We need to get back for your tests. I can explain more on the way.”
“Fine.” I jogged alongside him. It took three of my steps to keep up with each of his long, lanky ones.
“I haven’t talked to you about why we’re here because you said you wanted to switch groups. I made you a promise that if you weren’t up to our standards, you could do that. Remember?”
“I remember, but I still think some sort of explanation about what we’re doing here would be appropriate.”
“I haven’t told you anything for a reason. I did it to protect you so that if you still wanted out at the end of trials, I could let you go.”
His words chilled me. I wondered if he would actually let me leave.
“We’re doing exactly what I said—testing you to see if you’re supposed to be in the group. So far, you’ve passed with flying colors. Today’s the last scheduled day, but unless there’s some complete aberration, you’re in.”
I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. I’d wanted to leave, but my curiosity was getting the better of me.
“What’re we doing today?”
Mr. Cranston looked straight ahead. “The stress test.”
That didn’t sound promising. “Will it…hurt?”
“I don’t know how to answer that.”
“Uh…will I be bleeding at the end of it?”
“No—nothing like that.” He still wouldn’t look at me.
“Then what do you mean by stress?”
“Jesus, Finn was right. You sure ask a lot of questions. Let’s go, soldier. Try to keep up.”
Cranston’s pace was fierce, but I managed to stay with him. I could barely breathe by the time we reached the top of the trail. That worked out perfectly because Finn and Rachel were still at the track running laps. I had to focus on catching my breath instead of considering what a perfect couple they were.
Even though I had no right, the sight of them together made my blood boil.
Cranston abruptly stopped running and wiped his face with this shirt. He had a fighter’s body—long, lean muscles and a few nasty-looking scars. I didn’t ask him about them. It seemed too personal.
He watched Finn and Rachel for a moment. “You ready, soldier?” he asked me.
“Sure.” A stress test, whatever it might be, was better than watching Finn and his apparent supermodel-athlete girlfriend chase each other around the track.
“Finn! Rachel!” Cranston yelled. “In the gym, let’s go!”
Finn stopped running, and his eyes met mine for moment, but he quickly looked away.
I hustled to the gym. My gut hurt, and my temples throbbed, for more reasons that I could even keep track of.
Emma met me at the door, flanked by Morgan, Maya, and Kyan. “Hey.” She looked pale.
“You okay?”
She nodded. “Sure. Are you ready for today? Did Cranston tell you what you were doing?”
I pretended not to notice Finn and Rachel as they walked in together. They started talking to Josh and Cranston. “The stress test.”
“Right.” Emma blew out a deep breath. “It can be…stressful, for lack of a better word. Remember what I said, okay? We’re friends, no matter what.”
“Why would you say—”
“Riley!” Mr. Cranston barked. “Over here.”
Giving Emma one last confused look, I headed over. “I’m ready, sir.”
“Good.” He smiled at me. “I’m sorry if I scared you earlier. I just want you to be able to protect yourself.”
I felt oddly touched. I had the feeling he didn’t apologize often. “It’s okay.”
“We’re starting with a circuit.” He motioned to jump ropes, a tires course, weights, climbing ropes, and several other obstacles. “I’ll walk you through these, but you have to complete each section, and it’s timed. You need to rest from the run, but are you almost ready to go?”
My body was used to running, and it recovered quickly. “Sure.”
“Okay. We’ll start soon.”
I examined the course. We hadn’t done something like this yet, but it didn’t seem too far out of the ordinary. “Why is this called the stress test?”
Mr. Cranston stayed focused on his clipboard. “You’re going to have audience participation. And competition.”
“I’m sorry?” My voice came out small.
“You’ll see.”
He turned away. “Maya? Let’s go.”
My stomach sank as the taller of the twins stalked over. Her hair was in its typically high ponytail, which swung, snake-like and insidious down her back as she approached. She stood next to me and arched an eyebrow. “This should be fun.”
I tried to not feel intimidated. “Yeah?”
She snorted. “Not for you, cupcake.”
A slow burn filled my muscles. I looked back. Finn still stood next to Rachel. With a dull sense of satisfaction, I noted they weren’t holding hands.
Yet.
I clenched my fists and glared at Maya. “I’m not a cupcake, you Amazon. Let’s do this.”
My opponent looked amused, but Mr. Cranston shook his head. “That’s enough, girls. Let me show you the route.” He walked us through each portion of the course, explaining what the expectations were. I realized that there were two sets of obstacles. I eyed Maya’s six-foot-tall, muscular frame. Maybe I could climb over—or duck under—her to get to the finish line.
“As Riley said, let’s do this.” Cranston smiled at us. “Line up. Riley, you haven’t done one of these before, so you need to know two things: nothing’s off limits, and you have to ignore everything but the course. Got it?”
I licked my lips. “I think so.”
He nodded to Maya. “Maya? You ready?”
“Yes, sir.” She aggressively p
ositioned herself on the start line. I blew out a deep breath and followed her, every muscle in my body itching to move—itching for a fight.
I knew I was going to lose, but I refused to lose this.
If I did, I’d be on a bus back to Hollingsworth. That was what I wanted, right?
But what I wanted didn’t matter: I couldn’t let her win. And it wasn’t just Maya; I was like this with everyone. My competitive nature wasn’t something that made sense—I didn’t have the strength and agility to back it up—but I’d never been able to control it. That was one of the reasons I’d quit track. The last eight-hundred-meter race I’d run, I’d almost taken another girl out by elbowing her in the ribs when she’d tried to pass me…
“Take your mark!” Cranston’s voice jolted me back to the present.
I leaned forward, shoulder to shoulder with Maya.
“Go!”
The first obstacle was the tires. Maya shot out in front of me and started running through her set.
I sprinted to catch up and had almost reached her when Josh’s voice boomed, “You suck, Hanover!”
I turned to look at him, trying to keep my balance.
Josh laughed and pointed at me. “You’re losing, loser! You SUCK!”
“What?” My heart hurt. Of all of them, I considered Josh a friend.
He laughed. “I said you suck. Pay attention!”
Reeling, I turned away and realized that Maya was now through the tires and already climbing the rope. I threw myself through the rest of the tire course, almost tripping several times, desperate to catch up.
She’d almost made it to the top when I started to climb. When I hit halfway up, she was already on her way down. She sneered at me as she slid back toward the ground. “You have no chance, cupcake. You might as well give up now.”
“Shut up!” I huffed, and kept climbing.
That was when she reached over and shoved me, trying to knock me from the rope.
I clung to it. “What the hell?”
The crowd clapped and cheered. “Maya! Maya! Maya!”