Lost in You

by Marsden, Sommer

  ‘What’s that?’ I asked.

  ‘Stay the night with me. Together. I had two rooms reserved just in case …’ He shook his head. Smiled. ‘But I have a large room. It’s all ready. It’s gorgeous. It’s about two minutes off the beach and it has a view but I have to admit …’ Another kiss, his lips pressing to my hair. ‘The only view I really want to see is you all pretty and naked, spread out on a bed of white sheets. Waiting for me.’

  I didn’t even think. The answer was easy. ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I’ll stay.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Dorian said.

  ‘Don’t thank me,’ I said. ‘Take me to your bed.’

  Chapter Nineteen

  The bed was humongous. Done in white like the whole room. White art on the walls. White rugs on the floor. White-painted barn-wood walls.

  ‘You need to hose me down,’ I whispered.

  ‘What? Why?’

  I looked at my feet and blushed. ‘We’ve been in the sand. And everything is … white.’

  ‘I was in the sand too,’ he said, pinning me to the wall with his bulk. The heat of him helped to shake off some of the cold from the beach. When the sun was fully gone and the night air cooled, the wind off the ocean was enough to chill you to the bone. My fingers and toes and lips still felt cold. He took care of my lips by kissing them.

  ‘I feel dirty,’ I said. When he laughed, I swatted him. ‘You know what I mean.’

  ‘I like that you feel dirty. What shall we do about that? Should I spank you, Clover? Tie you to the bed? If I find a candle can I drip hot wax onto your –’

  I stood on tiptoe and grabbed his face in my hands. I liked the scratch of stubble under my palms as I leaned in to kiss him. ‘Stop teasing me,’ I begged. ‘But some of those … maybe.’

  ‘Maybe?’ He drew back and cocked an eyebrow at me. ‘Which of those?’

  ‘The … tying. Maybe. I like … I like the idea of feeling you over me and tugging against something. Pulling. But getting nowhere.’ I held my breath as my face heated with a blush. ‘I’ve never admitted that before.’

  He pushed himself against me. The hard line of his cock rubbing the soft split of my pussy lips through my jeans. ‘Does that mean you’ve never done any of it before?’

  His mouth traced a blazing line from my jaw to my collarbone. My nipples went rigid, my pussy wetter. I gasped a little when he dragged his teeth along the same trail as his lips.

  ‘I never have,’ I said. ‘Never.’

  ‘You really know how to poleaxe a man, Clover,’ he chuckled. ‘And since we’re dirty, would you mind terribly if I took you right here?’ His fingers worked the button on my jeans and I shimmied my hips to help him as he pushed them down. ‘Against the wall?’

  ‘Against –’ But that was as far as I got because Dorian dropped to his knees and tugged at my jeans more insistently. He kissed my hipbone and across my belly to the other. He did it so slowly it was maddening. I held my breath, watching his lips on my skin. Every so often he’d stick his tongue out and drag it along my body.

  I held my breath and the pounding of my heart filled my head.

  My jeans hit the floor by the bed with a whispered whoosh. Dorian spread my legs with ease. His fingers danced along the soft skin of my inner thighs. He breathed out, hot and damp, against my nether lips but didn’t touch me or lick me. He studied me, peeling me open with just his fingertips. My cheeks blazed with heat as I watched him.

  Dorian stroked his tongue over me so that my knees sagged and I pressed my back to the wall. His nose nudged my clit as he thrust his tongue inside me. I spread my legs further as I splayed my hands against the whitewashed wall to steady myself. His hand clamped over my ankles and he held me in place that way. I couldn’t move even if I’d wanted to. And I didn’t want to.

  Strong hands squeezed my feet, moved up to pin my calves to the rough barn wood. His tongue plunging over and over again, stroking across my clitoris to seek out my damp slit. And then back again. The rhythm uncatchable. Keeping me off balance, just enough to make me feel vertiginous. I pushed my head back against the wall to try to stay upright and focused. I felt splinters in the wood catch my hair, scratch my back. Dorian’s hands slipped higher, pinning my hipbones, but they refused to still. They bucked on their own at his wet attentions despite me willing myself to be still for him.

  He grunted – a rough, intent sound – and pressed his big forearm to my hips. He pinned me there, putting enough force into his muscular arm to keep me from moving even involuntarily. I was his butterfly pinned to his board and he could do what he wanted with me. In whatever time it took him.

  But it didn’t take him long. His tongue dipped and stroked across my sensitive flesh until I was gasping for air like a drowning woman. He nipped me with his teeth and the unexpected flash of pain mingled with the syrupy sweetness of him going down on me was the end.

  I came, my fingers scrabbling at the rough wood, my hair a mess across my face and eyes. My body had been unbelievably taut but, when the orgasm hit, all that tension rushed out of me in a waterfall of pleasure.

  He sighed, pressed his forehead to my belly and then stood.

  ‘Now about that fucking,’ he said. He grabbed my left leg and yanked it high. His cock was still hidden in his faded jeans but I felt its blissful intrusion as he pressed against me.

  I had gone past damp, leaped over wet and was officially soaked. Standing here, naked from the waist down, wanting nothing more in the world – not even my next breath – than for him to fill me and take me. Make me his. I could forget the Natalies of the world for tonight. Tonight was all about me and him. Clover and Dorian.

  I reached for his belt buckle.

  Dorian put some space between us. He watched me undo his buckle and I watched too. I saw my hands as if they weren’t connected to me. A little shaky, a little clumsy but purposeful. I’d gotten some sun. My formerly pale skin had a ruddy glow that said I’d probably gotten too much, despite being covered because it was fall. My hair would have some blonder streaks, my cheeks sun-kissed roses in them.

  I thought all this as I worked his belt and his button and finally his zipper. My hands were shaking again. I felt like a fucking virgin and just that thought was enough to make me laugh out loud.

  ‘What’s so funny?’ He smiled at me. The smile touched his eyes and that touched my heart. His big body crushed against mine, trapping my hand between us, as he kissed me so deeply my toes curled on the hardwood floor.

  ‘I was just thinking that I feel like I’ve never done this before. To be honest, I haven’t done it a lot. But I’m no sacrificial virgin, is all.’

  ‘I feel that way every time we’re together,’ he said, his lips sliding along my neck to find the place where it met my shoulder. I shivered. ‘It’s not normal sex,’ he said. ‘It’s something … more.’

  I nodded. Not knowing how to name it without sounding silly or crazy. So I simply nodded my agreement. This was more than sex. This was what happened when sex met spirit. This was something beyond all the stuff I’d ever done before. All previous encounters felt very clumsy and disposable in comparison.

  I found him with my hand as I gave myself over to another rough kiss. I stroked him and then ran my thumb along the slick slit in the crown of his cock. His body moved against mine and he made a noise that humbled me. It was the same noise I made when I simply gave myself over to him. Hearing him make it staggered me.

  ‘Kiss me,’ I said, even though he already was.

  Dorian laughed but kissed me more.

  ‘I don’t want you to ever stop kissing me,’ I said. I hadn’t meant to, but there it was and I couldn’t take it back. I let the words go and refused to allow myself to come undone over speaking the truth.

  ‘I don’t ever want to stop kissing you.’

  Together we pushed his jeans down and in a mere heartbeat he hiked up my left leg again to part me, open me for his penetration. He dragged the tip of himself against my slick opening. The
nerve endings there sang and clamoured. I wanted it to last for ever, this entry, and yet I wanted him in me now. I didn’t want to wait.

  I didn’t have to. He pushed against me – into me – so slowly that I felt every nerve ending rejoice at the contact. Heat pooled in my belly, my womb, lower. I arched my hips a little but he chuckled and pushed me flat with his body. When he was in me, still holding my now trembling leg, Dorian stilled. He looked me in the eyes and it felt as if he could see every secret hidden within my heart. I wondered if it was my imagination or if our pulses really were beating in unison. All the worry in my head flew out and I was lost – locked – in that shared gaze.

  ‘I’m glad you trust me, Clover.’

  I said nothing. There was nothing to say. Because I did trust him. One hundred per cent. I trusted him with everything in me despite my knowledge of better suitors who were interested in his attentions. I couldn’t help myself. I’d found in him something I’d failed to find in most – someone to give my trust to.

  I nodded and felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes. I tried to suck in a deep breath but it came out as a sob.

  He kissed my cheek and began to move. The sudden naked truth ceased to be as terrifying as I got lost in the motion of our bodies. Dorian slammed me flat with every thrust but it was a roughness that caused pleasure and joy to blossom inside me. It wasn’t aggressive, it was needful.

  My fingers skated over his firm, warm skin. I moved forward to meet his driving thrusts. I kissed him when he kissed me, and kissed his body wherever I could when he didn’t. He forced my right arm up and over my head, pinning it to the rough and rustic wall. It seemed to give him leverage, having one leg trapped in his grip and one arm pinned above me. His movements became shorter but his body thrust deeper. Every time he entered me, I gasped. I was short of breath, fuzzy-headed, soaked in pleasure and at his mercy.

  I’d never felt better.

  I moved my body to meet his and when the pleasure grew too great I simply whispered, ‘Oh, God. Oh, Dorian. I’m –’

  His lips cut off my words, his tongue stroked over mine. I came with a whimper instead of a shout because he’d added more pleasure to the fray with his tender attention to my mouth.

  ‘That was nice,’ he said, smiling. His forehead still pressed against mine. His hips ground back and forth, stimulating my clit, which was almost too sensitive. It was like overload.

  ‘Let me go. Let me go,’ I panted.

  A look of concern clouded his handsome face. I wanted to assure him it was nothing bad but I was still struggling to breathe … to think, to talk.

  When he stepped back, I dropped to my knees. I held his hips in my hands, moved my mouth to his cock. I took him that way, soft at first, but when his body surged forward to meet me and he tangled his fingers in my hair, I went faster. I got him as deep as I could, sliding my tongue along his shaft, savouring the mingled taste of our union on my tongue.

  I swept my fingers along his hipbones, his thighs, down his calves, so that he hissed, and then back up again to cup his ass and get better leverage. I let him fill my throat the way he filled my head … and, I was starting to see, my heart.

  His grip was almost painful and my scalp sang from the pressure. ‘Oh, my sweet Clover,’ he said and he was coming.

  I didn’t shy away as I had the one or two times I’d found myself in this position in the past. I didn’t panic or try to pull back. I lapped at him, getting every drop of him that I could, just liking the taste of him and the feel of his silken skin beneath my tongue.

  Chapter Twenty

  The bathroom was white as well. I sank beneath heated bubbles in a white claw-footed tub. I could get used to this.

  I looked up to find him watching me from the doorway, a glass of wine in each hand. He wore nothing but a pair of pyjama bottoms and his hair was wet from a quick shower in the shower stall. Dorian had insisted I let him fill the tub so I could soak.

  ‘Happy?’

  My body was warm from the tub but still warm from pleasure too. Small aftershocks of desire sounded deep inside me and every time I let myself remember what we’d done, how it had felt, how it had ended, I felt a thrill in my stomach.

  ‘I am. I’ll be ecstatic if one of those is for me.’ I nodded to one of the wine glasses.

  ‘It’s your lucky day.’ He handed me one and sat on the lip of the tub. I took a sip and knew the wine I was drinking probably cost more than my favourite pair of shoes at home. And I’d saved for months to buy them for myself.

  ‘I ordered food,’ he said.

  ‘More food,’ I groaned, but then my stomach growled. ‘Actually, I am kind of hungry.’

  ‘We burned a lot of energy.’ Dorian waggled his eyebrows at me lasciviously.

  He made me laugh. I trusted him, he made me laugh and I felt right when I was with him. I was screwed.

  ‘That we did. And the sun is down. I can hear the ocean.’ I took another sip and laid my head back, listening. ‘Isn’t that weird that it becomes background noise until you focus on it? Then it’s all you hear. The soft roar.’

  Fingers smoothed over my damp bangs and I kept my eyes shut, enjoying the touch. ‘It is weird. I’ve wanted to be happy, wanted to find something … wanted it badly, but the want had faded into the background.’

  Nervous energy danced in me as I listened to him. It was the feeling of recognition. I knew exactly what he was talking about. My own needs and desires drifting off to become nothing more than background noise.

  ‘Now that I’m listening to it, what my soul is telling me …’ He kissed my forehead. I felt that kiss a thousand times more than if my eyes had been open. ‘It’s all I can hear, Clover.’

  ‘I understand,’ I said. Because I did.

  ‘I hope you do. But I’m not sure. It seems almost too big to comprehend,’ he said.

  I opened my eyes when I heard him get up. ‘I understand,’ I said again.

  ‘We’ll see.’ He winked at me and a gentle rap came at the door. ‘I’ll go get that. Take your time. I ordered food that will be just fine sitting for a bit. Steak sandwiches, salad, cheese plate. No need to rush.’

  I shut my eyes again as he left. Too good to be true. And you know what they say about that. If it seems too good to be true … it probably is.

  ‘Just enjoy it for what it is, dummy,’ I whispered. ‘A fling.’ Despite how I might feel or how he thought he might feel, we were from two different worlds, Dorian and I. There was no way we could mesh those two worlds and make it work.

  * * *

  I came out of sleep hard, I was in so deep. I’d been touched. And I was still being touched. I stiffened, that old night-time fear rising up in me like dark brackish water.

  ‘Shh, it’s me. Don’t be afraid.’

  There was a soft glow from the bathroom vanity light. Nothing more. I tugged my wrist against whatever Dorian was using to tie me to the headboard.

  ‘You said you liked the feel of it.’ He kissed my neck and, to my own surprise, I relaxed as he continued to tie me. ‘I thought you might want to play.’

  Heat surged in my stomach. So forcefully that I felt my chest go rosy and my cheeks too. I watched him straddle me and then lift my other wrist. He was hard. His cock pressed against my belly as he tied the fabric tight to my skin.

  ‘What is that?’ I asked. My mind was still fuzzy from sleep but my body was awakening quickly. Eager to be with him. Eager to see what he had in store for me.

  ‘An old T-shirt of mine that was in my bag. It’s seen better days but the fabric is soft as sin. Which is why I refused to give it up.’ He finished the knot and ground against my belly briefly. Forcing all the air from me, both from the weight of him on me and the desire that had built in me. It was a crushing force now. I wanted him to touch me … everywhere. Take me. Make me say his name. Most of all, I wanted him to make me forget that in a few short hours we’d be having breakfast and breaking this magical spell to return home.

  He move
d down my body, kissing me as he went. I’d gone to sleep in nothing but a pair of panties and he seemed hell bent on peeling those off.

  ‘I was worried,’ Dorian said, licking the jut of a hipbone before nibbling his way across the place right above my mound. He made his way to the other hip so slowly I squirmed. I realised I was holding my breath when my head grew light and fuzzy.

  ‘Worried?’ I gasped. My voice gave everything away. All the restless, delicious need I was feeling.

  He laughed softly, licked my smooth, shaved mound, and then my upper thigh. He didn’t stray anywhere near where I wanted him. So badly that tears began to distort my vision. Had I ever wanted a man so much I nearly wept with it?

  No.

  ‘Worried that I’d scare you. I know that the night can be your enemy. I was afraid I’d trigger bad dreams or memories. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I went with my gut.’ He placed tender kisses along my sides and my body bucked involuntarily. Then his mouth travelled along my hips. I shut my eyes mentally, willing him to put his mouth on me. To lick me.

  ‘What did your gut say?’ I tried to focus on words, but anything beyond simple sentences eluded me.

  ‘To go slow. Be gentle. Let you wake up with my hands on you.’

  With my hands on you …

  My scalp prickled, my hips rose. I begged him with my body to put me out of my spectacular misery, but he didn’t. He just kept kissing his way slowly down my right leg. His tongue darted behind my knee and I groaned. It tickled, but also supplied a decadent rush of pleasure that caused my pussy to grow wetter. My body ached for him to fill it. I bit my lips, tried to breathe, refused to beg.

  I wondered how long that would last. Probably not long at all.

  He reached my ankle, licked my ankle bone. Took my foot in his big hand and rubbed his thumbs along the arch until I hissed and shifted under him. It felt so good, what he was doing, that it was almost painful.