Donners Bend

by Alexa V James

  But she refused and stood up from her chair. With a strange mix of sadness and anger she concluded, “I’m sorry, Jamie, but as beautiful as they are, I just can’t take them.”

  Ellie began walking quickly back down the hall. Jamie followed at her heel.

  Don’t be mad, Ellie,” Jamie pleaded, “Please. It’s Christmas!”

  Ellie didn’t reply, but accelerated her pace. She didn’t really know what had made her so displeased. As she continued down the hall, with Jamie just behind her, she became even more irritable as she became lost in the maze of hallways, but always the gentleman, Jamie would instruct, “Right” or “Left” when Ellie would stand before two pathways, confused about which way to go.

  “Ellie, if you don’t take them they’ll just be sitting around without an owner! I want you to have them! That’s why I bought them! Please take them, Ellie!” Jamie urged again.

  Ellie didn’t answer. Her hair began falling out of its pins as she jogged away from Jamie and was glad she’d worn ballet flats instead of heels.

  “You said yourself that any girl would want them and I know you want them too, Eliana Mae Henderson! If you want them so much, then why don’t you just take them?”

  She lifted her scarlet skirts and continued on, ignoring his pleas. Finally, aggravated that she wouldn’t listen to him, Jamie stepped in front of Ellie’s path and wouldn’t let her pass. She’d never noticed how tall he was compared to her until just then. In that dark, empty hallway Jamie’s hand lifted up her chin gently, “I’m sorry, Ellie. You don’t have to take them, though I really wish you would. Just please don’t be angry with me.”

  Despite his effort, Ellie couldn’t be appeased, and she said quietly, “I’m sorry too, Jamie. Merry Christmas and goodbye.”

  With that, Ellie abruptly ran back to the ballroom, leaving Jamie standing alone with only his shadow to keep him company.

  She tried to find Jon, but Emily told her he’d left earlier; he hadn’t been feeling too well. “A few too many chocolates,” he’d said. Emily knew something was wrong with Ellie, but she didn’t ask what it was and Ellie wouldn’t have told her anyway.

  Ellie couldn’t even understand what had gone wrong herself. If it had happened to any girl other than herself, Ellie would have expected them to take the earrings without a second thought, and she didn’t know why she hadn’t done that herself. She didn’t know why she’d gotten so mad when Jamie had been so sweet and earnest about it all.

  As the hotel was emptying at the very end of the ball, Ellie realized she didn’t have a ride home without Jon. She didn’t know what to do and she was still in such a sulky mood that she didn’t feel like looking. Leaning against the cold brick wall outside in the snow and gazing up at the starry night sky, she waited for an empty hack to arrive that she could ask to take her home, but just then, Jamie exited the building and spotted her standing alone.

  Without asking, he grabbed her hand and pulled her up into his carriage on the seat beside him. Despite her best efforts, Ellie wasn't able to free herself from his strong hold on her.

  “Jamie! Stop!” she screamed, “Let me go!”

  But he wouldn’t let go of her hand, “You need a ride home, I’m willing to take you, and I won’t let you hire some dirty hack driver, Ellie! So just calm down and let me take you home. It's not very far anyway.”

  “Stop! Let me out of this carriage now, I say!” Jamie wouldn’t listen to her, but Ellie continued shouting, “I order you to let me go this instant, James Rhodes!”

  Jamie took the reins and the horses began to canter quickly down the road. Ellie wouldn’t sit still and let him do as he wished, though in her heart she was slightly thankful she’d gotten a ride home.

  “You’re a horrible, horrid man, Jameson Ethan Rhodes! I hate you!” she shouted, “And you’re certainly no gentleman!”

  He chuckled, “I never said I was.”

  “I’ll jump out of this carriage! I swear I will if you don’t stop and let me out!”

  “And what, are you planning to do, walk home?”

  “I’d rather walk than ride with you! And I mean it Jamie! I’ll jump!”

  “Go ahead and try,” Jamie said with a smile, for he knew she never would.

  Ellie frowned and crossed her arms across her chest, knowing he was right.

  They’d reached Ellie’s house by now, for it wasn’t terribly far from the hotel, and Jamie pulled back the reins to slow down the horses. As soon as they’d come to a stop, Ellie hopped out without another word and began walking quickly up the way to her porch through the light, fluttery snow, but Jamie wouldn’t let her go so soon.

  He jumped out right after her, crying, “Ellie! Ellie, wait!”

  She didn’t slow down, but it didn’t matter, for Jamie was able to catch her again. He held her by both shoulders firmly and showed no signs of letting go.

  Tears came to Ellie’s eyes, though she didn’t know why, as she repeated, “I hate you, Jamie. I really do. I hate you.” As she spoke the last words a single tear rolled down her cheek. Jamie brushed it away gently, and lifted up her chin once more, and then, he took her in his arms just as he had that afternoon long ago at the lake until their had lips met.

  Ellie had never felt so faint in all her life. If not for Jamie’s supporting arms she was sure she would have fallen. Once again, she was lost in a dreamland and everything around her was forgotten.

  She felt hot and cold all at once. Her heart was burning with desire, but shivers ran up her spine and her arms filled with goose bumps at his touch. The forgotten snow fell lightly onto Ellie's hair and Jamie's fedora and began to create a thin layer of snowflakes on each, and though the wind was blowing and the temperature was way below freezing, Ellie didn't seem to notice when encircled in Jamie's arms.

  Her head began to spin as the kiss lengthened and she felt Jamie’s arm tighten around her and pull her in until she was pressed against his chest. Ellie felt so protected in Jamie’s arms and she never wanted to leave, never wanted it to end. Finally though, she pulled away, frightened.

  “I... I have to go,” she stammered, “I’m sorry, but I... I have to go.”

  And without another word, Ellie raced into her house.

  Jamie watched her go and smiled slightly. Taking something out of his pocket, he walked up to the front steps and set the box, which contained the pearl earrings, onto the porch. As he did so, Jamie whispered, “Merry Christmas, Ellie.”

  Chapter 17 - Beneath the Ice

  That night, Christmas night, Ellie didn’t sleep a wink. She tossed and turned under her quilt until she just couldn’t take it anymore. Finally, realizing she wouldn’t be falling asleep anytime soon, Ellie lit a candle and sat on her bed, leaning against the wall and looking out the window at the lightly falling snow.

  She’d never felt so confused in all her life; her mind swelled with questions she couldn’t find any answers to: Did Jamie love her? Did she love him? If she didn’t love him then why had she been so affected by his kiss? Why was she so afraid to pursue anything with him? Why had her eyes filled with tears?

  At least the night hadn’t been entirely useless; she was able to answer a few of her questions: Why had she acted so hurt when given pearl earrings? Because she was afraid of what the giver meant, by giving them. Why had she become so infuriated with Jamie when he offered to take her home? Because she was embarrassed of her earlier remarks and she was afraid of what might happen when they were alone, but what made her feel so afraid of Jamie? That was yet another question that she couldn’t quite answer.

  Jamie, meanwhile, was sitting in his dark kitchen smoking a cigar. Beside him sat a bottle of whiskey, but surprisingly, he wasn’t all that stressed this time. He was quite content, to tell the truth.

  A week went by without many occurrences. Ellie spent her time mainly with Jon since she didn’t have to work; Louise was taking some time off because of the holidays. Ellie made sure to avoid Jamie as much as she could, never wanting t
o feel uncomfortable around him because of what had happened before, but she knew that probably wouldn’t have happened anyway; no uncomfortable feelings had occurred outside of Ellie’s head the first time they’d kissed.

  On this particular late afternoon though, Ellie could be found sitting inside her little cottage alone. Near the fire, she sat, reading a novel. Although it wasn’t snowing yet, she had this strange feeling it would start to later in the night. It was far too cold to go out, in her opinion, but then someone came to try and change her mind. It was a man by the name of Jonathan Robert Smithton.

  He’d been trying for some time now to convince her to come ice-skating at the lake nearby. It was the same lake she’d gone to with the Rhodes, but she just wasn’t in the mood to go, or at least that’s what she was trying to tell herself. The truth was that she just wanted to void an awkward encounter with Jamie.

  “Please, Mae? It’ll be great fun,” he promised, sitting beside her chair on the rug.

  “I have no doubt that it wouldn’t be,” Ellie replied, not looking up from her book, “But it’s just so terribly cold out and besides that, I’ve never skated in my life.”

  “There’s a first time for everything.”

  “Not if you don’t want there to be a first time.”

  “Oh, come on. Everyone in Donners Bend knows how to ice-skate. It’s practically a requirement for living here. I still can’t believe you don’t know how.”

  “I don’t even have ice-skates, so how could we go?”

  “I brought my mother’s along and she’s just your size.”

  “I’m sorry, Johnny, but I just can’t.”

  “Of course you can,” he smiled, “You just don’t want to.”

  “It’s far too cold, I can’t ice-skate, and I don’t have a huge desire to learn. I’m sorry, but if you really want to go you’ll just have to find another companion to accompany you.”

  “Do I have to beg, Mae? Must I get down on my knees?”

  “You’re already on your knees,” Ellie muttered.

  “Oh, please, please, please, Mae,” Jon professed earnestly as soon as he’d propped up one knee and taken her hand, “I shall be horribly depressed and angry if you don’t promise to join me! I swear I shall!”

  “I would be laughed at,” Ellie explained, “Even five-year-olds can glide around the ice, but not I.”

  “I passed by it on my way over and it was empty, so you needn’t worry or be embarrassed.”

  Ellie didn’t respond.

  “Please, Mae? It would make my day if you did.”

  Again, there was no answer.

  Jon squeezed her hand with a friendly smile, “In the spirit of the season?”

  “Alright,” Ellie sighed as she gave in, “In the spirit of the season.”

  They dressed in their warmest. Ellie wore several extra petticoats under her dress and over it was a warm pea coat. She also had on a violet scarf and mittens. Jon dressed accordingly as well, wearing a coat, gloves, scarf, and his brown tweed newsboy cap. Instead of riding there they decided to walk once Ellie had come outside she realized it wasn’t quite as cold as she’d thought. Don’t be mistaken though; it was still incredibly cold out.

  They reached the frozen-over lake after only a few minutes, and laced up their ice skates. Jon took Ellie’s hand and led her over to the ice; she wiggled and wobbled all the way there, and so the lesson began.

  Jon started her off by standing in front of her and holding his hands out for her to take. While he skated backwards, Ellie inched forwards.

  “Now, just push out and back with your right foot. There you go, now glide on your left. Nice and steady,” Jon instructed, “Now the same on the left foot. Good job.”

  Ellie obeyed as best she could, not taking her eyes off her skates. As she struggled to keep her balance, Jon continually had to keep her up. And several times, she began to fall and would pull Jon down with her. They’d end up on their bottoms giggling.

  The next step, Jon decided, was to skate beside Ellie, holding her hand, but not helping her along as much as before.

  “Keep your arm out and use it to balance yourself, alright Mae?”

  Ellie nodded.

  “Now keep gliding along just like you’ve been doing. That’s right. Now, very slowly, I’m gonna let you go? Okay?”

  Ellie nodded once more, hesitation in her yes, “Alright.”

  Jon, just as he said he would, let her fingers slip through his hand until she was on her own, “You’ve got it, Mae. Now just keep going. There you go! You got it!”

  Ellie smiled as she glided along the ice at the pace of a snail: her scarf blowing behind her, skates wiggling along, and arms spread out like wings on both sides. Although her hair was pulled back into a ponytail with a ribbon, wisps of it had fallen out and blew into her face.

  Joyful Jon watched her skate around the edge of the lake with a smile upon his face as well. He clapped her on and shouted, “Woohoo! You got it Mae!”

  It had taken more than an hour, but she’d finally gotten the hang of it.

  They stayed there, at the lake, the rest of the afternoon. Now, near sunset, Jon had become tired of skating. He laid with his back on the ice, his hands propping up his head, and his eyes closed while Ellie skated around for more practice. She was remarkably more at ease on her skates than she’d been at the beginning of her lesson that day.

  “Do you know what I wish, Johnny?” she asked as she skated along.

  “What’s that?” he replied, not opening his eyes.

  As she found herself thinking of the Rhodes children, Ellie said, “I wish we lived in Never Land and we never had to grow any older, don’t you?”

  “Of course,” he paused, “But that dream doesn’t exactly apply to us, does it, my dear? That’s for children who are young and wish to stay young forever, but you’ve already reached sixteen and I’m practically an old man now. I’ll be nineteen next week, you know.”

  “You’re still a child at heart though.”

  Jon smiled, “And I will be till the day I die.”

  “In all honesty though, what will we do in the years to come? What will you do, Johnny?”

  Jon shrugged, “I figure Ol’ Smith is getting pretty old now, and when he meets his fate, I always expected that the shop would come to me considering that he has no family to speak of and I’m basically running the shop as it is,” he paused, “What will you do, Mae?”

  “I don’t know,” Ellie replied, stumbling a little on her skates, “Someday the children will grow old enough that they won’t need me anymore and I don’t know what I shall do then. I love it here in Donners Bend and I wish to stay forever, but I don’t know what occupation I could take up. Wouldn’t it be nice, Johnny, if things could just stay as they are? You and I could spend our days as we do now and...”

  Jon interrupted her, “And how do we spend our days now?”

  “I don’t know,” Ellie thought for a second before answering, “Simply, without much commitment, or responsibility. We could stay together forever, yet never have to get married or anything to justify it. Would that be nice? We could just stay here in Donners Bend and be friends forevermore.”

  Jon, with his eyes still closed, asked, “But aren’t you planning on getting married someday and having children?”

  “Well, yes, I suppose so,” Ellie replied unsurely, “I’ve never really thought about it that much before. I guess I have always believed though that someday I’d end up getting married. Of course, there is still the problem of finding a man to be my groom, but I’m sure he’s out there somewhere,” said Ellie, pushing thoughts of Jamie out of her head, “And children? Yes, I hope I have children someday, for I think I’d make a fine mother. Don’t you agree?”

  Jon grinned, “You’ll make a superb mother someday, my dear.”

  “And what about you? Aren’t you going to get married and have a whole passel of little Johnny’s?”

  “Nah, I’m not a marrying man,” Jon sa
id simply.

  Ellie couldn’t believe it, “So you’re not going to get married? Ever?”

  Jon shook his head, “Marriage and I were just not meant to be is all.”

  “But what if you fall in love?”

  He shrugged, “Marriage just isn’t in my plan.”

  “You have a plan?”

  “No, but if I did marriage wouldn’t be a part of it.”

  Ellie smiled, “Well, when I get married you can be my best man.”

  Jon laughed, his eyes remaining shut, “Thanks, love. It’d be an honor.”