by Mary Wood
They went into the stable together to lead the horses out. He helped her to mount. This time she hadn’t need of any tricks, and he held her waist and lifted her onto Diamond as if she was a doll. He slid his hand along her thigh as he released her, seeing the pleasure this gave her. But then she frowned. ‘I think it best that you ride behind me, in the manner we always used to, Jack, just until we’re out of sight.’
She had to bloody do it! She had to put him in his place. He’d not answer her for a moment – that way she’d most likely see as she’d put him out, by not trusting him to know how to go on. Once he’d mounted the horse he said, ‘I wouldn’t have it no different, Ma’am. I’d not embarrass you, or meself for that matter, in public.’
‘I – I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wasn’t sure. I mean, well, with the new relationship we have, I’m feeling a little unnerved . . .’ She smiled at him in that cheeky way again. ‘Anyway, it’s about fifteen minutes’ hard riding to the paddock, you know. Do you think you’re up to it, after your easy driving job?’
The moment had passed. Her smile and her joke made him feel settled again. He’d give as good back. ‘Aye, I think I’m up to that. Mind,’ he winked at her, ‘I’ll most likely be in need of a rest when we get there.’
‘Yes, I think you will.’ She pulled on the reins and set off at a fast pace, her laughter hanging in the air.
He didn’t take up the challenge, but followed her as he always would have done until they were about a mile away from any possible prying eyes, when he urged Prince to go faster and came alongside her. She smiled at him but didn’t speak, and they rode on in silence until they reached the clearing.
Once there, a deeper silence fell between them. Both were a little out of breath and hot from their ride. An embarrassment hung in the air. Laura broke it by saying, ‘I usually unsaddle Diamond when I arrive here and give him some freedom to roam.’
‘Aye, I’ll see to them.’ He looked around him. ‘You’re right, I have been here afore. I’d forgotten how beautiful it was.’
She didn’t answer him, and this increased his embarrassment. He stood a moment and watched the horses gallop away to the other end of the clearing, his stomach clenching with nerves. He glanced at her. Laura looked hot, and he could tell she was feeling as nervous as he was. Her voice shook a little when she spoke.
‘I’ve brought a flask with me. Would you like a drink?’
‘Aye, thanks, that’d be reet welcome.’ He took off his jacket and laid it out near the tree stump. ‘Sit yourself down, lass. I’ll get it.’
He found the flask in her saddlebag and undid the cap, the smell of good whisky wafting up at him. He turned to offer it to her, and was stunned for a moment at how different she looked. She’d taken off her jacket and had let her hair loose. It shone in the sun as it cascaded around her shoulders. He sat down beside her and watched as she took a deep swallow of the neat spirit, before handing it to him.
The whisky was the smoothest he’d ever tasted, and as its warmth settled in his stomach, he felt his nerves calming. He touched her hair, running his fingers along its length. ‘By, you’re lovely, Laura.’
Her name rolled off his tongue as if he’d always used it. She turned to face him. Her body swayed towards him. He kissed her hair, her forehead and the tip of her nose, then cupped her face in his palms and brought her lips to his, in what he meant only to be a gentle caress. A testing. But Laura melted into him and the kiss deepened to a passionate hunger.
The hunger released the last of his tension. She was no longer his boss, but his lover. It felt so natural to caress her body, to feel her soft breasts through her linen blouse. Natural, and yet the urge in him was so strong he was afraid he’d not conduct himself properly. It’d been a long time . . . He fought for control as, without releasing her mouth from his, soft moans of pleasure came from deep within her throat. Her tongue prised open his mouth, and he tasted the whisky on it as it moved in and out, sending sensations of pleasure shivering through his whole body.
They parted to hastily remove their clothes, and while they did so he couldn’t resist touching her and planting small kisses on her breasts. The feelings that were building in him deepened his fear. Could he hold out long enough to give her full satisfaction of her need?
He needn’t have worried. The moment he entered her she cried out with joy, her body stiffening beneath him and her thighs clenching him in a vice-like hold. He felt a spasm pulsating deep inside her, gripping and releasing him as she reached instant release. The sensation proved too much. His cries joined hers as he came deeply into her, bringing him an almost agonizing pleasure that he could hardly bear. As the feeling subsided he looked down at her. Her hair was pressed to her face and her eyes were moist and beautiful. He kissed her gently as he eased himself out of her and then, still holding her to him, he lay back.
After a moment Laura stirred and turned towards him.
‘That was wonderful. It was beyond all my expectations, and I loved the way you took charge from the moment we kissed. And I like being called lass.’ She stretched herself, and for a fleeting moment he thought of the yard cat whose movements were the same after she’d had a satisfying meal.
He smiled at Laura and kissed the tip of her nose. ‘Nice of you to say so, Ma’am.’ She laughed and snuggled back into him.
He felt happy and relaxed. He’d expected a wave of guilt or sadness, but neither came – just a peace. He supposed this was because it hadn’t meant anything to him other than a giving and receiving of pleasure and a release of pent-up feelings. He hadn’t given his whole self to her and he knew she was content with that. He was under no illusions: this was just an affair. She was his boss, and they both had a need in them. They’d hurt no one, so he had no need to worry. He hitched himself up on his elbow and looked down at her.
‘Are you all right, lass? You’ve gone very quiet.’
‘Yes.’ She put her hand up and ran her fingers over his brow and down to his chin. ‘Thank you, Jack.’
‘Thank you? What’s that for?’
‘For everything. For the way you handled things. I couldn’t have blamed you if you’d taken me out of duty – as just another thing your boss wanted you to do – or if you had treated me like a whore. God knows I behave like one sometimes.’
‘No.’ He took her hand and kissed the palm. ‘I wanted you as much as you wanted me, and have done for longer than you might think. It were just as time weren’t right.’
‘You knew I wanted you, then? I made it that obvious?’
‘Aye, you did, and I’m sorry as you had to wait so long. As I said, it were too soon after I lost me lass. And afore that? Well, I don’t know, to be honest. I’d like to think I would’ve held out against you, cos I wouldn’t have wanted to have hurt my Ciss, but you were getting to me even then.’
‘I – I’m sorry. I behaved badly. But, well, I was very lonely.’
‘No, lass, you’ve no need to say as you’re sorry. It were very flattering, if truth be known.’
‘But I know how much you loved your wife, and I could have been the cause of you hurting her or even . . .’
‘Don’t fret yourself. It’s all right. Nowt happened, did it?’
He lifted her head and kissed her eyes, and then her mouth. Her response surprised him. The kiss became achingly deep and demanding, and before it was over they were coupling again in a frenzy of pleasure.
A fear welled in him. Her giving herself to him in this second coupling was more than he’d expected or wanted, and he felt as though his very being was being sucked from him. And then his fears deepened as she reached orgasm once more, stiffening under him, for her cries throughout told of her love for him.
With his body still shaken with the intensity of his own release, his worry compounded as she clung to him, not letting him leave her. He stayed still for a few moments and then prised himself from her and lay back. Nothing had prepared him for what he’d just experienced. He’d been sh
ocked by the depth of feeling she’d shown. He tried to tell himself all women reacted that way when they reached their special feeling, and he hoped that was all it was. He couldn’t cope with anything more. He’d a strong feeling for her, but it wasn’t like he’d had for Cissy . . . or Megan. Megan? He sat up as this last unbidden thought hit him. Megan? What made me think of Megan? And in that way an’ all! He shook his head.
‘Are you all right?’
‘Aye, it’s nowt. Just me thoughts haunting me.’ He gave his attention back to Laura. Her face looked fearful and he felt sorry he’d caused her distress. ‘Aw, lass.’ He stroked her damp hair from her face and smoothed her brow. ‘You were bonny afore I made love to you, but you’re beautiful now.’
Her naked body felt small, clammy and warm in his arms as he held her against him, and he realized once more how vulnerable she’d become in his eyes in such a short time. He’d always been used to looking up to her, being in awe of how rich and powerful she was. And, aye, he’d not always liked her. But then, he’d not understood her.
He’d had a strange day, with strange thoughts and ideas, as well as what had happened here. He’d never have thought it would be like this. His mind brought forth a picture of Megan. What would it be like to hold her like this? Sadness made his heart heavy as he remembered that she was going – and soon. Oh God! He couldn’t imagine his life without Megan in it, and he knew he didn’t want it to happen. He held Laura even closer, but it didn’t help. The unsettled feeling inside him didn’t go away, but he wouldn’t let the reason for it become a truth to him. He couldn’t.
‘Right, lass, we’d best get dressed.’ He released her as he spoke, and eased himself up. He had to busy himself. He gathered up her clothes and passed them to her, and as he stood up he noticed the horses standing together looking towards them. ‘Well, I didn’t know as we had an audience!’ He bowed to the horses. ‘That’s your lot, lads. There’ll be no more curtain calls today.’
Laura burst out laughing. Her laughter released any tension there was between them, and Jack felt glad for it.
When they were dressed, he lit a cigarette. It had been a good decision to bring a packet instead of his baccy tin, as he’d have been embarrassed to have to make a roll-up at this moment. He offered Laura one.
‘I’ll have one of my own, thank you, Jack. I only smoke one brand.’
Laura found her cigarette case and they sat down together. When she inhaled deeply, a fit of coughing racked her body. Jack felt at a loss as to how to help her, and he could only rub her back until the spasm passed. He’d heard her coughing before and he’d noticed a rattle to her breathing sometimes when she’d come back from riding Diamond, and just now when the excitement of their love-making had made her short of breath, but nothing as bad as this.
‘You shouldn’t smoke, lass, if it does this to you.’
‘I know. I’ve been trying to cut down, but it’s not easy.’
She stubbed out the rest of her cigarette and wiped her streaming eyes. He clipped the end of his half-smoked Capstan and put the nub-end into his pocket. ‘Well then, we’ll make a pact. When we’re together, no smoking!’
‘All right, but if we’re together as often as I’d like, then I might not be able to keep to it.’
Jack smiled at her and decided to broach the subject that had been niggling at him. He’d intended to talk to her about it while they relaxed and smoked, but her coughing had diverted him. He didn’t usually feel embarrassed talking with her about such subjects, but it had been a while since the stud had gone and they’d had any reason to discuss things of this nature. Right now he felt a bit sheepish.
‘I were just thinking – well . . . we didn’t take any care. Against you having a babby.’
Laura smiled. ‘Trust a man to think of that after the event! It’s all right, Jack. I can’t have children, not after—’
He took hold of her and pulled her close to him.
‘I’m sorry. We’ve been through same mill, you and me.’
They held each other and it felt to him as if they were comforting each other’s hurts.
A slight breeze that hadn’t been there before rustled through the trees above them, and the birds that had provided the background songs to their love-making were becoming quieter and finding somewhere to settle. A dampness entered the air.
‘Thou knows sommat? If we stay much longer they’ll be sending a search party for us. We’d best get back.’ He felt regret as he said this. He’d not wanted to spoil the peace he’d found with her. He stood up and called the horses to him and began saddling them, Laura holding each one steady for him. The silence between them became uncomfortable.
They’d been riding for a while when Laura slowed her pace. Jack dropped back until he was alongside her.
‘I’ve been thinking. I’m going away in two weeks’ time with my sis— I mean Lady Crompton. We’re going to her holiday cottage in Scarborough. I was wondering . . . I could arrange for me to go a week earlier. She wouldn’t think anything of it. She knows I need a rest, and she herself isn’t free until the following week. And, of course, it would mean I would need you to take me and to stay over, to drive me around.’
He smiled. He was getting used to her double meanings. He nodded his head.
As they trotted along she told him more about Lady Crompton’s holiday cottage. ‘And,’ she said as she finished her tale, ‘there are no servants to worry about. There is only a housekeeper who comes in daily, so we’ll have it all to ourselves at night!’
‘It sounds good.’ He smiled. ‘It’ll be sommat an’ all, to go to the seaside. I’ve not been afore, except when I went to France in the war, but that don’t count. It were dark when we boarded ship, and we never stayed long on beach when we got t’other side.’
‘You’ll love it. It’s reet grand . . .’
He laughed out loud at her mimicking of him, and for a moment he felt like a young ’un who had been given a treat to look forward to. An urge to ride as fast as the wind assailed him, as though it would bring the treat to him sooner. ‘Come on, slowcoach. It’ll be dark soon. I’ll race you back.’
‘I don’t give much for your chances. Diamond can outpace Prince any day.’
‘That depends on who’s riding him. Are you ready, or does you want a few paces?’
‘Ha! Cheek of you, Fellam! Oh, Jack, I’m so happy. I feel happier than I’ve felt in years.’
‘Come on then, gee up.’ He tried to sound light-hearted, but her words had dampened his excitement and a heavy feeling settled in him. She was putting a lot more into this relationship than he needed or wanted. She could end up getting hurt, and he didn’t want to be the cause of it. But would he be able to stop himself? At this moment he didn’t know. There was so much confusion in him.
34
Hattie’s Second Chance
Hattie poured the tea. She was on her own territory. Oh, aye, she’d left this patch behind many years ago, but she still came and had tea at Ma Parkin’s now and again. It was as if she’d been lifted from here in body, but not spirit, and from time to time she needed the comfort the place had often given her in her dark days.
‘How’ve you been, Hattie?’
Harry didn’t look comfortable, and something in her felt that was as it should be. He’d not warned her, and yet he must have known.
‘It were a shock, Harry, as I’m sure you knew it were going to be, but I’ve had some two weeks to get meself to a place where I can cope. I’m not saying as me heart isn’t broke – it is. I miss Arthur every day, but not like the way I was used to missing him, because then I knew as he were coming back to me.’
The tears she’d still not shed threatened to stream from her. It was hard. For all her words of getting used to it, she wasn’t. Not really. She was still in the midst of the shock of it all. And she’d read the letter over and over to try to get it to sink in.
‘I never dreamed as this would happen.’
‘I didn’t kn
ow, Hattie. I promise you. I didn’t know. His Lordship—’
‘You knew that! You knew he were a lord using a false name?’
‘Aye, I did. I was his batman, and me loyalty was to him through and through. I didn’t like it, and many a time I wanted to tell you. I did, Hattie. It worried me because, though I could understand it at first, I couldn’t understand it being carried on when you got so close. When he didn’t tell you, it occurred to me then as he might one day do as he has. I don’t think he ever got over his wife’s rejection, and I think he didn’t lose his love for her or his hope that one day—’
‘Don’t! It – it’s too painful.’
Harry bowed his head.
‘Just tell me what it is as he’s sent you to tell me, Harry.’
‘He says to tell you as you are to keep the house. He’s put it into your name. I have the deeds here for you.’
‘I don’t want it. My God! He’s never stopped thinking of me as his whore, and this is the final payment for me services? Well, he can go to hell!’
The tears spilled over and a huge sob escaped her.
‘Hattie . . . Hattie, don’t. Don’t, me love. I can’t take you crying.’
Harry’s reaction to her tears shocked her. He rose and came round to her side of the table. He stood behind her and held her to him. Was that a kiss he’d planted on her hair? Oh, Harry. She couldn’t move, such was the unexpectedness of his action. She had always seen him as a dear friend, but he wasn’t behaving like a friend now. His soft words were words of love . . .
‘Please don’t take on. It’ll be all right. I’ll take care of you, my love. Oh, Hattie, I could never speak of it, but I’ve loved you from the moment I first set eyes on you. Hattie . . . Hattie, forgive my lies. Forgive me.’
She stopped crying with the shock of it all. She didn’t want to stop Harry; she didn’t want to reject him. It wasn’t just that he was a salve to her heart. It was . . . oh God! How was it she had never noticed Harry’s love for her? How was it she hadn’t even known feelings for him like she was feeling now. Or had she? He had been in her thoughts. She had missed him – that was, when she wasn’t mad at him for keeping the truth from her, but part of her could understand that. Harry was loyal, and loyalty was a good quality. And his loyalty was so strong that it had come before what was in his own heart. Arthur didn’t deserve him.