by Mary Wood
Laura looked up into Daphne’s face. She read her sister’s fear, and knew she knew more than she was letting on. She allowed her head to droop and rest on Daphne’s shoulder. She didn’t ask any questions – didn’t want to know what Daphne knew. Not yet. She needed to gather herself a little.
When her limbs stopped shaking, she lifted her head. ‘I’ll need to get a little stronger . . . before I travel such a distance and . . . face what’s wrong with me, Daphne. I feel like a caged animal. I need some air. Couldn’t we just go for a drive out? Get my sea-legs, as it were?’
‘I don’t think . . . no. On second thoughts, I do think that’s an excellent idea. Look, it’s only eight o’clock. Let’s get you back to bed for an hour and we’ll see if you still feel up to going out then.’
As Daphne helped Laura to rise she heard her intake of breath.
‘You’ve lost so much weight. No wonder you feel weak. We’ll get some fish and chips and sit and eat them out of the newspaper! You always liked that. I think it must appeal to the bad girl inside you. Anyway, we’ve to fatten you up.’
‘I am a bad girl, aren’t I? I haven’t told you all about my conquest of Jack yet. We’ll have a good gossip as soon as I’m feeling . . . better. Is it today that he is coming with . . . my things?’
‘Don’t try to talk so much, Laura. Save your breath. Come on, I’ll help you back to bed. I’ll ask Janet to bring you a tray at about ten-ish.’
‘But if Jack comes – you will wake me?’
‘I most certainly will not! For heaven’s sake, Laura! Besides, you don’t want him to see you in this state. I’ll tell Janet we’re expecting him, and she can deal with him. Now, that’s right. Snuggle down. I’ll see you later. And if you are up to going out, Johnson can drive us along the coast. We might even get as far as Bridlington. You remember? We visited it the last time we were here.’
Laura felt so drained and weak, and the fear hadn’t left her. If only Daphne understood. She so wanted to see Jack. He would settle her mind. But she hadn’t the strength to fight her sister over it. Oh, she couldn’t bear this illness much longer. Please God, that the specialist would be able to help her. There was so much that needed her attention. She would do some of it when she got up. Things at the mine must start to move. That Megan woman had to be got out of the way. Oh God! Her head hurt so when she worried over it all.
The thought of the drive out cheered her and yet wearied her at the same time. She closed her eyes. Her thoughts drifted to Jack. If only . . . if only . . .
‘Here we are, Mrs Harvey. I’ve brought yer a nice pot of tea and a toasted crumpet. I’m to see to it that a hot bath is ready for yer, when yer done.’
Laura was surprised to be woken. She hadn’t thought she would sleep.
‘Thank you, Janet. Put it on the table in the window. Would you get my writing case for me, please? It’s in the top drawer of the chest over there.’
While Janet pottered about, Laura managed to get herself up. It took a massive effort to reach her chair. She flopped into it, feeling utterly exhausted. The nap hadn’t benefited her at all, although her breathing seemed better.
The letter to her manager was hard to compose. She needed to tell him to get rid of twenty men, as of the end of the month. He was to notify them at the end of next week, and tell them she would be looking into vacancies in other areas for them. She would meet them in about three to four weeks, hopefully to inform them of where they could transfer to. Her estate manager was already instructed to make enquiries.
That part was easy enough, but to specify one of the men was more difficult. Eventually she realized the only thing to do was to be blunt:
I want you to make sure that a Bert Armitage is one of the twenty. I have heard stories of him beating his wife and drinking heavily, and I do not want to employ such a man.
This would surprise her manager, but he wouldn’t question it. She sealed the envelope before she changed her mind. Sure that she had covered everything, her mind felt at ease now. Though how she was going to let Bert Armitage know what his wife was up to was another matter. She’d have to think about it in more detail, but not now. Oh, how she needed to escape the confines of the cottage and the fears in her heart!
40
The Clarity of Jack’s Love Brings Heartbreak
‘Issy, I’ve got butterflies, and I feel as though all of this isn’t happening. I can’t take it in that we’re going to the seaside! And as for me not coming back here – it just don’t seem real.’
‘Aye, I feel that excited meself. I’ve mixed feelings on you going, though. Part of me’s glad, but I can’t get the sad feeling out of me, try as I might.’
‘I know. It’s a big step. And I’m going to miss you all. And, strangely, I feel bad about Bert in a way. He’s been trying to be a better husband lately, and he were that looking forward to trip to Blackpool. I’ve left him all the money, though. And I don’t wish bad on him. We should never have got together in the first place, and I blame meself for that. I hope everything works out well for him.’
‘You need to stop feeling sorry for him and carrying guilt of it. No one has the right to beat anyone, like he beat you. You tried – in fact, you did your best – so put it behind you. And, lass, think on: you and Billy start your new life today, and I reckon as it’s all fitted in nicely with us spending our last day together at seaside. I’m reet glad you decided to stay long enough so we could.’
‘It couldn’t be a better send-off and I wouldn’t miss it for the world. But I’ve not said owt to Billy yet about us not coming back. I thought to let him enjoy today, then tell him at the last minute. Jack says as he’ll help me. We’ll tell him in the car as we get back to Church Fenton tonight. He’ll not have time to think on it all then. What did you and Jack decide on telling Bert when you get back?’
‘We decided Jack would take me all the way home, instead of me doing the last leg on the train. I can say then that I left you earlier, as I wanted to meet up with the lassies as I used to work with, and you went to catch the train home – and that were last as I saw of you. Did Bert swallow excuse as you gave him?’
‘He were over the moon. Mind, telling him as I were going into York with you to fix up the Blackpool trip for him has made me feel bad.’
‘As long as he believed you, that’s all that matters. After all, there’d be nothing else he’d let you go for. Let him stew. He’s had it coming this good while. I reckon as we can relax and enjoy ourselves. Except . . . well, I know as I’ve said it a dozen times, but I am going to miss you, lass. And I doubt if I’ll get to see you for a while, as I’m to be careful not to alert Bert as to where you are.’
‘It’ll be reet, love, we will see each other. Just let things settle down. I’ll write to you. I’ll tell you everything about the shop, and me flat above. Mind, I’m that nervous, I’m shaking. I wish train’d hurry up. I feel as though Bert’ll come round the corner at any moment with some reason as to why I can’t go.’
Jack made good time. They were at the seaside and he was back with them, having delivered Mrs Harvey’s clothes, by noon.
Megan saw him arrive. She’d not been able to stop herself looking for him every few minutes. He called over to them as he got out of the car.
‘Hey, haven’t you been on the sand yet or dipped your toe in the sea? I didn’t expect to find you sitting just where I’d left you.’
‘No, we wanted to wait for you, Jack. We didn’t want to do owt until you came back. We’ve been for a pot of tea at the cafe over the way, though. Mind, it’s been hard keeping Billy from going off – he and Sarah are that excited.’
‘Oh, and you and Ma aren’t, then? Ha, I bet as you’re dying to wet your feet! Come on, you young ’uns!’
Jack grabbed Sarah’s hand and picked Billy up and ran with them onto the beach. Their laughter carried on the breeze.
Megan stayed with Issy. Issy was in awe of it all.
‘By, lass, it looks big, don’t it?
It’s most water as I’ve ever seen in me life. Shall we take our shoes off and go and have a paddle?’
Megan laughed. She couldn’t speak. The sight of it all had overwhelmed her, too, and if truth be known, she’d felt nervous to go onto the sand until Jack had come back. She did as Issy said and took off her shoes and stockings and, clasping Issy’s hand, together they picked their way towards the sea.
Jack and Sarah came up to them. They were flushed with excitement, their smiles lit their faces and their eyes were full of joy.
‘Come on, pair of you, come on. Sea’s just grand,’ Jack said.
‘I’ll tell you, Jack lad, it’s like nothing I’ve ever imagined.’
‘I know, Ma. Come and dip your feet.’ He took hold of Issy’s hand and led her down to the water’s edge, then turned and ran back to Megan. ‘Come on, me love, come on.’
The endearment came so naturally from him that Megan wondered if he’d realized what he’d said – but she had, and her heart sang.
‘Come on, Aunty Megan!’ She felt Sarah grab her hand and looked down into her lovely little face, so like Cissy’s, and felt a warmth and a sadness fill her. It was going to be so hard to part from this little one; Sarah was like her own daughter. The sadness left as quickly as it had arrived – Jack saw to that. She felt her other hand being squeezed, and she looked up at him and smiled. He held her eyes for just a moment and then turned and ran back to the wall to get Billy’s crutches.
When he came up to them again Jack said, ‘I’ll take these down for lad, then he can have some independence to wander away with Sarah. She’s going on about collecting shells or sommat, aren’t you, me little lass?’
With that he took hold of Sarah’s other hand, and together they all ran towards the sea. They lifted Sarah into the air as they ran. Their joy sang out in the raised tone of their laughter and made them immune to the cold waves that splashed over their feet as they came to the water’s edge.
‘Are you all right, Issy?’ Megan had let go of Sarah and gone over to her. The water lapped around their ankles.
‘Aye, lass. I’m grand, just grand.’
They watched as Jack lifted Sarah and Billy, so that he had one child under each arm. He waded further into the water, all the while saying, ‘I’m gonna drop you. I am. I am . . .’
Their squeals were deafening.
‘Give over, Jack. You’re worse than the nippers.’
‘I am? Am I, Ma? Well, you wants to thank your lucky stars as you’re too heavy, else I’d have dunked you in sea by now!’
‘Ha, I always knew this padding would come in handy for sommat. At least I’m safe from your games, you big daft sod.’
‘Ah, but Megan’s not.’
He brought the children back to safety, and then surprised them all by bending low and gathering Megan up high over his shoulder and running with her into the water. Megan cried out in mock-anger, asking to be put down at once, and at last he lowered her down. The water lapped around their knees. A tangible silence fell between them. Jack looked into her eyes. She couldn’t look away, even though she knew she was baring her soul.
‘Megan, Megan . . .’
Her name was a whisper on his lips.
‘I – I . . . oh, Megan, I love you.’
Her heart swelled within her, causing her breathing to constrict. Tears sprang to her eyes. He loved her. Jack had said he loved her!
‘I love you too, Jack, and I have done since I first met you.’
Their bodies swayed towards each other. Megan’s skirt swirled around them. They were oblivious to everything and everyone as their lips met and a deep and unbreakable bond connected them forever.
‘I’m so glad you felt up to coming out, darling. It’s a lovely day. Oh, look – there’s the beach. What do you think? Are you feeling well enough to get out for a while?’
Laura looked wearily out of the window. Her eyes fell on the young couple in the water, who were just parting from a sensuous kiss. She gasped in horror. ‘My God! Oh God!’
‘What is it, darling? What’s the matter?’
‘It’s Jack. He—’ She was stopped from going any further as a spasm of coughing gripped her.
‘Where? Oh, dear!’
‘How . . . how could he?’ Tears streamed down Laura’s face. Through the mist of them she saw Jack release the woman and put his head back. He was obviously laughing with joy. Then he bent down and lifted the woman up and carried her back to the sand, kissing her face as he did so.
Daphne turned Laura’s head away from the scene. ‘There, there, darling, come on now. Don’t get upset. It will make things worse.’
‘How could he d – do that to me?’
Daphne didn’t answer her, but leaned forward and spoke to her driver. ‘Mrs Harvey is delirious, Johnson. She is very ill. How long will it take to get to York from here?’
‘Well, if we get a clear run, m’Lady, it’ll take us two hours.’
‘Right, head for York, Johnson. Just get us there as quickly as you can.’
‘No . . . no. I – I must speak to him.’
‘Drive on, Johnson.’ Daphne leaned forward and pulled the curtain across. ‘Oh God, Laura. How did you get into such a state over him?’ Her voice was little more than a whisper.
Laura couldn’t answer. The spasm of coughing started up again. Fresh blood tinted her handkerchief. ‘I – I . . . need air.’
Daphne slid the window down. Gradually the coughing subsided and Laura caught her breath. ‘Why? Oh, Daphne, why?’
‘Oh, darling. I’ve never seen you so miserable. What can I do to help? How did it get to be like this?’
Daphne slipped off the seat and helped Laura to lie down. She didn’t resist. Once she was lying down, Daphne wiped her sister’s mouth with her hanky and snuggled her up in the car rug. ‘Try to sleep, darling,’ she whispered. ‘We’re going home to York. Charles will know what to do.’
Laura made no protest. Her heart was breaking. Her mind was screaming for release from all the pain. Sleep was a blessed sanctuary.
41
Where Are We Going, Hattie and Megan?
‘Look at them, Megan. They’re tired out, and Sarah was that insistent on coming onto the station to see you off, and now she’s dead to the world.’
‘Aye. Mind, train’ll not be more than about ten minutes now. It was a grand day, wasn’t it, Issy?’
‘It was that, Megan.’
‘Issy? Well, about what happened. I . . .’
‘You don’t have to say owt, love. I’ve known how you’ve felt this good while, as thou knows, and I’ve seen it in Jack an’ all, lately.’ She sighed heavily. ‘Whether it can lead to owt is another matter, but then that’s up to the pair of you to sort. I will say one thing, though: it’s only heartache as you’ll be getting, because you’ll not be able to be together, not proper like. It wouldn’t be fair on young ’uns. The shame it would bring down on them would cast them out. I’m not saying as I’m not for you, because I am. I’d not give a damn for what folk’d say, but I’d not be for owt as’d hurt these young ’uns.’
‘I know, Issy. It means a lot to me that you’re not against us. And don’t be worrying. I’d not bring shame on you all. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but just knowing as Jack loves me helps some. Were young ’uns upset? Did they say owt? They’ve not mentioned it to us.’
‘I took their attention away, and just told them as Jack’d hurt you by lifting you like that, so he were kissing you better. They just took it as it was. Mind, I’m sorry for you both. I am. I tell you what: put Billy’s head on me lap. There’s room, if I shift Sarah a bit. You go back down to Jack and spend last five minutes with him. You’ll hear train coming. Go on.’
‘Thanks, I’ll not be long. I just . . .’
She didn’t finish her sentence. She didn’t have to, she knew that. How was she to live without them all? The next five minutes that she’d spend with Jack might be the last for a long, long time. But at lea
st she would have had time with him – time during which she would know that he loved her. That would have to do for now. She’d to get on with things, as she always did. Her new life was starting, and for that she’d paid a price. She only hoped she’d no more to pay.
They were on the train. Megan had watched until Jack, Issy and Sarah were lost to her in a cloud of smoke, all the while waving. Her face was wet with tears when she turned and went in search of Billy.
She found him in an empty carriage, lying along the bench. Once Billy had said his goodbyes, Jack had helped him onto the train and he’d disappeared out of sight. He sat up on his elbow when she entered, and she’d hardly sat down opposite him when he spoke.
‘Mam, I feel reet funny inside. I don’t know if I want to go to a new life or if I want to go back to me dad. I do know one thing, though: I want to go back to Sarah.’
‘Aye, I know. I feel the same. But it’s going to be better for us, Billy, I’m sure of that.’
‘Does Uncle Jack love you, Mam? Thou knows – like I love Sarah?’
The question, and the comparison he’d made, threw her for a moment. She sat back and looked at him, uncertain how to answer.
‘I’ll be truthful with you, Billy. Your Uncle Jack and me, we do love each other, and aye, it is like you love Sarah. But we’d not do owt as would bring shame on you all. We want to be together as a family. But it’s not going to be easy, and we don’t know how or when, but we will. One day we will, I’m—’
‘What about me dad? He’d not have it, thou knows.’
‘No, he’d not have it. You’re right there. And, Billy, he’d not have us living in a shop away from him, either. He’ll near kill me if he finds us. So we’ve to be secretive, tell no one where we come from, and be on the lookout when we go into Leeds for anyone as knows us, and make sure they don’t see us.’
Billy’s body shuddered, and Megan felt sorry she’d put him through all she had.
‘Don’t be worrying. I’ll take care of you. He’ll not find us.’