by Matthew Ward
Despite the fact that Finr had been speaking to Ninml, he now spoke directly to Drystn, “No pressure, but I’ll be sorry if I don’t get to see you there.”
Finr walked off, and the three wandered toward the dining hall. Silence hung among the group. Were they really to take this guy seriously?
Drystn tried to pull his thoughts away from Finr’s perfect combination of boyish charm with manly stubble—that cute smile with a deep, seductive voice. Whatever fantasy Drystn came up with for these meetings, he knew he wasn’t evaluating the situation with the clearheaded rationality he needed.
Drystn jumped at the sound of Loegr’s voice, as if someone had caught them in a crime. “That guy is crazy.”
Ninml said, “I agree. What does it matter how the bairsgn got here or who controls it? Our job is to destroy it. Getting wrapped up in this conspiracy nonsense won’t change that. It will only be a distraction.”
Drystn said, “Uh. Yeah. I guess so.” He watched their faces. They didn’t believe him.
Ninml lowered her voice. “You’re not actually going to go are you? They probably spy on the Ruler. Doesn’t that sound like an unnecessary risk?”
Drystn tried to muster a more convincing tone. “You’re right. It’s a bad idea.”
Ninml said, “Give me the paper. I’ll throw it out.”
“Don’t worry I’ll do it.”
“Drystn! You’re so infuriating sometimes. Promise me you won’t go.”
“I can’t promise you that. Here. Have the paper.”
Drystn handed the meeting time and place to her. He had it memorized anyway.
~
Drystn expected everyone to have their robe hoods up and for the room to be dark and shrouded in mystery. Instead, a well-lit room had chairs set up in a circle, and three people sat casually chatting. Finr rose when he saw Drystn, and he introduced him to the other people.
Drystn asked, “Is this it? The six of us?”
“Yes. How many were you expecting?”
“I don’t know.”
The meeting began with an uneasy proposition.
Finr looked at Drystn. “Unfortunately, we have to know you’re serious. To become a member of our group, you’ll have to pass a test. But the test isn’t without purpose. You’ll learn important things that will prove we aren’t crazy.”
Drystn didn’t like the sound of this.
Finr continued, “You’re going to have to help us spy on the Ruler. He’s meeting with someone from the government that we think is in on it. We’re not sure how he’s being paid. Maybe he’s receiving some of the spior benefit as well. That’s what we need to find out.”
Drystn couldn’t believe Ninml had been right. He was tempted to leave right there. Spying on the Ruler was too serious, but he at least wanted to be sure one way or the other before leaving. This was too important to back out from fear of getting caught. Sometimes doing the right thing meant breaking a few rules.
Drystn asked, “How exactly are we going to do this?”
“Good question. Here’s the plan.”
Finr walked them through it. It was simple and safe. They were unlikely to get caught. Drystn would get to be there to listen to the conversation between the Ruler and the government official, but they didn’t really need an herbalist for the actual execution. They decided to meet at the end of the week to get started.
When the meeting ended, Drystn tried to sneak out to think about things on his own, but Finr caught up to him. A hand touched his shoulder, and he turned to see Finr’s face near his own.
Finr said, “Hey. Can I talk to you for a second?”
Drystn heard a twinge of nerves in his voice. It must be serious, because he had just confidently proposed an illegal activity with no nerves at all.
Drystn said, “Sure.”
“I’m not really sure how to say this, but do you want to, I don’t know, get dinner with me sometime?”
Drystn’s chest pounded a fast, irregular rhythm he could feel in his head. This flirtation with Finr wasn’t all in his imagination?
Drystn strangled out, “Yeah. Definitely.”
A whoosh of air escaped Finr, and he revealed his big smile again. “Good.” Before Drystn had a chance to respond, Finr leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
The back of Finr’s brown robes flapped wildly as he walked out of sight. Drystn couldn’t breathe. Ecstasy coursed through his body, and he expected to wake up at any moment. He needed to expend his excess energy, so he ran all the way back to his room.
~
Drystn met up with Ninml and Loegr for breakfast the next morning. They seemed to want to know if he had gone to the meeting, but neither would outright ask it. Drystn decided he wouldn’t volunteer the information if they were going to play this game.
Just as they were about to sit at an empty table, he saw Finr across the room. Finr’s face lit up, and he jogged over to the group. He grabbed Drystn’s hand and said, “How’d you sleep?”
The world dropped out from Drystn’s view, and all that remained was the two of them.
He said, “Not well, to be honest.”
“Hey. What are you doing tonight?”
“Nothing?”
“Great! I know this place we should check out. I’ll come by your room at First Sunset.”
“Okay.”
Finr let go of his hand and started back toward his own group. Drystn became aware of several stares, including Loegr and Ninml, and heat rose to his cheeks.
Loegr said, “Well, I guess you went to the meeting then.”
Ninml slapped Loegr’s shoulder. “Idiot. What on Talamir was that? You two are, like, together or something now?”
Drystn plopped into his chair, lightheaded.
“I guess. It all happened so fast.”
Ninml sat next to Drystn and grabbed his shoulders hard. This pulled him out of his dreamy state. She stared him in the eyes and said, “Drystn. Listen to me. He’s just using you. Don’t you see how this is all manipulation?”
Drystn couldn’t believe he was hearing this from her.
“No. You’re just jealous.” Drystn immediately regretted the words, but he was too mad to apologize.
Ninml let out an exasperated moan. She looked to Loegr and said, “Tell him.”
Loegr said, “Drystn. I’m not getting involved, but you should be careful. It’s obviously a possibility.”
The rest of the meal occurred in silence. This made the echo of the words in Drystn’s head all the worse: he’s just using you. Finr couldn’t be that good an actor, could he? Drystn had no way of testing nor did he want to. He felt happy for the first time in a long time, and he didn’t want that to end. He knew his friends were looking out for him, but why couldn’t they be happy for him too?
The three split up, each having decided to join a separate working group. They had been given the project descriptions of each group and where each group met. Drystn decided upon one of the herbalist focused groups. He eventually wanted to switch to a mixed-focus experimental group, but until he learned more, he thought he could offer the most help in the field he actually had knowledge in.
He wandered the circular hall, reading off the numbers, until he got to the correct room. He slid into the room in an attempt to go unnoticed but found himself gaping at the gigantic greenhouse. Row after row of plant and herb filled a huge, cavernous space.
Light refracted through the mianl crystals to heat the area. Drystn had never seen such a design. The school had used a greenhouse, but this must have been a clever First Age design. His first impulse was to go tell his friends about this place. They would appreciate it in a way few others would, and this made him feel even worse about their earlier fight.
“Welcome friend.”
Drystn looked toward the voice to see the herbalist teacher he had met from their previous lessons.
Drystn nodded. “Hello again.”
“Let’s get you to work
.”
The man handed Drystn a pile of pages filled with grids of information. He caught Drystn up on how to read the records of what they had tried with a particular group of herbs. Each herb combination in the teas had to be subtly changed. Sometimes the amount of herb would increase or decrease, and sometimes they’d have to infuse a different amount of spior.
The work was tedious and boring. It took his mind off Finr and his friends, but he wasn’t sure how many days he’d be able to do this. Drystn crafted three teas at a time, making sure to mark how each changed in the chart and then bottled them and labeled them. A runner would start on a journey to the bairsgn each day at lunch to test the morning alterations.
As lunchtime approached and Drystn’s stomach began to growl, he got a little lightheaded. Panic set in. Was this the rest of his life? He felt like he had worked too hard for it to amount to this. Any terrible spiorist could perform these menial tasks. The powers above had cheated him by sending him here. He could be somewhere making a real difference with his skill.
As Drystn looked around at all the choices of herbs, he realized he didn’t need to guess if Finr had manipulated him. He had the tools in this room to get to the truth. On his last batch of teas for the morning, he decided to make a truth serum.
He looked for the herbs he would need with an uneasy tension. He had to leave his area to find them, and he didn’t want to raise suspicion. The first one wasn’t far away. Drystn glanced around and saw everyone in hard concentration at their workstations. He placed his hand on the herb to pick it.
“What do you need that for?”
Drystn spun to find the project manager behind him. He tried to come up with some excuse but nothing came out, so he started babbling instead.
“I’m just wandering and thinking. I have a few ideas, but they aren’t fully formed yet. So I’m seeing if anything jumps out at me.”
“Well. Just make sure you carefully mark anything you try. Experimentation is encouraged, but we don’t want to duplicate efforts.”
Drystn breathed a sigh of relief. He quickly finished gathering the herbs and mixed them with other ones he wouldn’t use to make his intended brew less obvious to anyone who happened to be paying attention. He put the three teas on, and when they finished, he slid the truth serum vial into his robe pocket. Now he had to figure out how to sneak it to Finr without him noticing.
As the hours went by, Drystn didn’t think he could go through with it. The vial against his body had burned a mark of guilt into him all day, and he hadn’t even done anything yet. Finr was too nice to be manipulating him. Finr couldn’t fake the connection he felt, could he? There was an indescribable but real spark when they touched, and Drystn couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss.
The knock came at First Sunset like promised. Prydr jumped to the door before Drystn could stop him.
When Prydr saw who it was, his face contorted into disgust. “What do you want?”
“I’m not here for you.”
Finr walked past Prydr and kissed Drystn. This time he was ready for it, but it was no less spectacular.
Prydr said, “No way. I can’t believe this is happening. You two are together?”
Drystn said, “Do you have a problem with that?”
“Actually, I do. This jerk can’t be coming into my living space every day.”
Finr smiled, which set Drystn at ease. He had no idea how Finr could remain so cool through the insults.
Finr said, “Don’t mind him. You ready?”
Drystn felt sick. It had to happen now if it was to happen. He had already prepared the trick.
“Um. Almost. I just have this thing. Hang on.”
He flailed as he tried to remember what he was going to say. Instead, he started pouring two cups of water. One had the tea at the bottom already. He kept telling himself that the dilution would make it more ethical. He’d merely be inclined to tell the truth rather than compelled to do so.
Drystn held the truth serum cup to Finr.
“Here. Have this while we wait. I get dehydrated easily. I need a moment.”
I get dehydrated easily? What nonsense, but Finr fell for it. He drank a big gulp, and Drystn took a small sip.
Finr gave Drystn a devious look. “Your water tastes strange.”
Drystn said, “You know us herbalists. We always like to flavor things.”
Finr said, “It’s good.” Then he drank the rest of it before Drystn could protest. So much for dilution. Drystn tried to think what to do as he sipped his own water. He didn’t want to look suspicious now that he said he needed it. But then he waited too long.
Finr said, “Actually, I lied. That water tasted horrible. I only drank it, because I thought you lovingly flavored it for me. And one more thing. Did you know this idiot is an aspiorist?” He flung his hand toward Prydr as he said it, and then suddenly covered his mouth. Finr’s eyes were wide with fright. It made Drystn want to comfort him.
Prydr jumped up from his bunk and said, “What did you call me?”
Drystn got between them as fast as he could, and started pulling Finr out the door. “Okay. We’ve had enough of this. Finr, we need to discuss something privately.”
Drystn shut the door, and they walked a few steps down the hall.
Finr yelled, “What are you doing? You gave me a truth serum? Do you work for the Ruler? What is this?”
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done it. My friends put this idea into my head that you were only pretending to like me to get me to join your group since you needed an herbalist. This was the only way I could be sure.”
“You’re not who I thought you were. We have to be able to trust each other, and you just betrayed my trust. You just did what your friends accused me of doing. You manipulated me. I can’t believe this. I actually liked you, but I don’t think we should see each other.”
Finr turned and stormed off.
“Wait! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it.”
Finr didn’t look back. A strange conflicting emotion haunted Drystn. He said he liked me under a truth serum. This made Drystn heart flutter with hope, but he had just ruined everything.
X
“I can’t believe you’re actually going to be renegades on the Outer Ring,” Eidr said with more awe than concern. He hadn’t quite come around on the idea, but he also couldn’t do anything about it.
Eidr’s mother said, “You just worry about getting ready. You don’t want to forget anything. We’re going to leave soon after you, so we won’t be here for you to come back to get anything you’ve left.”
Eidr’s parents helped him pack two sacks of items. He didn’t need much clothing, because his robes would be provided for him. He packed the books he had been studying on the history of the Church before being confirmed as a candidate Aithr. Once ready, they all walked out the door to drop him off.
They traveled the short distance to the church. Eidr would live with Conl in a small building attached to the back of the main church structure. Conl stood like an infinitely patient statue at the entrance.
When they got near enough, he walked up to Eidr and gave him a big hug that lifted him from the ground and spun him around. Eidr acted old for his age, but he couldn’t resist a childish squeal at the unexpected exhilaration of the spin.
Conl set Eidr down and turned his attention back to the parents. “I’m glad you all came. Today is a wondrous day.”
If only you knew my parents were about to defy the Church when they left here you wouldn’t think that, Eidr thought.
Conl motioned toward the home. “Come in. I want to make sure everyone is as comfortable as can be.”
They entered the dwelling, and Eidr took it in. This would be his home for the rest of his life unless he transferred to another church. The thought of his mortality gave the moment a rough edge. The house looked similar to most Talamir homes: simple, dark, and it smelled of grass. The main room had a small stone table. Conl pointed to one of the two rooms off
of the front room.
“That will be your living area.” He pointed to the other room. “That one is mine.”
Eidr dragged his things into his new room. One corner had a grass bed. The rest was bare. Eidr had known that part of taking the vows meant he would have to live free from the material wants of other people. His future laid in helping the people of his district. Still, this seemed extreme. He turned to his parents, who had followed him in, and gave them a sad look. Help. What have I done? He silently pleaded to them.
His mother crouched down and hugged him. “It’ll be okay, honey. Lots of people go through this, and they turn out happy. Look at Conl. If you ever feel uncomfortable about anything, just confide in him. He’ll take good care of you. He went through this, so he’ll know what you’re feeling.”
Eidr hugged back, unsure if he’d ever see his parents again. Why did they have to leave right at this moment of his life? She let go, and his father bent down to hug him as well. “Do good champ. We’re proud of you for choosing this path. Be brave. Everything worth doing in life is hard.”
The platitudes fell flat coming from people running away. Eidr watched them leave his room. This was supposed to be a happy and exciting time for him, and it was ruined by this decision his parents had made.
Eidr hated that he felt this resentment. Hushed words came from the other room between his parents and Conl. Then they were gone. Eidr crawled into his bed. He couldn’t face Conl yet. He struggled against the emotion welling up for only a second then let the tears out into the uncomfortable bed.
The sound of scuffling feet approached. Eidr didn’t want to deal with the world just yet. Conl sat on the floor and waited. Eidr knew he would wait forever if that’s what it took. Where did that patience come from? He felt grateful for the space it provided him to make the first move. Eidr turned toward him and tried to wipe away his tears.
Conl said, “Don’t worry. You’ll get to see them plenty. They aren’t going anywhere.”
Yes, they are. Eidr continued to wallow in silence. He couldn’t even talk to Conl about the most important thing on his mind.