by Matthew Ward
Conl tried another tact. “This is going to be a wonderful journey. You’re going to learn so many things you never imagined.”
Eidr’s current annoyance and rebelliousness made him think about the thing in that creepy mianl building he had seen. Maybe this was the moment to bring it up. He proceeded with caution.
Eidr said, “So you’re saying there are things out there, beyond spior, I haven’t been told about?”
“Oh, yes. Many things.”
“Will I learn what the black flowing thing is underground?”
Conl sat back with sudden force. He looked shocked. Eidr saw in his face that he knew the reference—that he contemplated denying it. But his reaction had been too obvious, and both of them knew it.
Conl asked, “How did you find out about that?”
“I ran away once and went into that building that has the hole in the ground.”
“You shouldn’t have done that.”
Eidr’s anger at his parents wasn’t making it easy to stay calm during this conversation. He sat up, his parents far from his mind, and snapped, “Too late for that.” He tried to calm himself before continuing with the question. “Well, what is it?”
“That’s hard to say. No one fully understands it. We’ll discuss it and what it means for our future at many points I imagine. You’ll learn to see spior, which means you’ll learn that the creature is stealing spior from everything in Talamir.
“Very few people know about it, and we’re supposed to keep it a secret. The Aithrs were told about it, because the Ruler thought we might be able to help in understanding it. We have access to a lot of ancient stories that spiorists don’t have.”
“Will I learn to move spior?”
Conl shook his head with a sadness in his eyes.
He said, “Eidr. You know the laws of spior. You don’t have the Talent or you wouldn’t be here. I know that’s what you really wanted, and you’re using this as a substitute. It’s what I did at your age as well.”
“Really?” Eidr felt a little better knowing he wasn’t the only one who had chosen this path for less than idealistic reasons. “I guess I still hoped that because of these mysterious things you spoke of, there was still hope I might learn to move it.”
Conl said, “I’ll be honest with you. That hope never fully disappears. At least it hasn’t for me. But you can’t hold on to that resentment. Accepting your fate is the best thing you can do at this point.”
“Wait a moment. How is that thing stealing spior from everything if the laws of spior are true?”
“Excellent question. No one knows.”
Eidr tried to contemplate this. It didn’t seem possible that the thing was stealing his spior right at the moment. Shouldn’t he have been able to feel his life force draining?
Conl continued, “Why don’t I make us some tea? You’ll feel better. I promise.”
Eidr nodded. This was his family now, and he needed to start acting like it.
~
The training began immediately. As a dedicated servant of the community, he had to learn about all things spior. He trudged along the slow process of memorizing soil types and functions, herbs and functions, and mianl shapes and focal points. If a practicing spiorist ever needed help, Eidr had to be able to perform quickly without asking too many basic questions. Time could be of the essence.
He also learned the basics of the church: its history, the symbols used in rituals, and the form and purpose of the rituals. But the part that excited Eidr the most was learning to see the spior. Weeks went by with no progress. He neglected his other studies to sit in silent isolation with his eyes closed running through the mental exercises that were meant to open up his inner eye. It was supposed to be easiest to see the spior inside of one’s own body. Eidr couldn’t even do that.
After a particularly frustrating session, Eidr burst back into the dwelling. Conl sat at the table reading a book. He didn’t even look up at the noise.
Eidr shouted, “Isn’t there some exercise you’re not teaching me? I’m not getting anywhere. I still can’t even sense my own spior.”
“Patience. You have all the exercises, but you’re trying too hard. The trick is to not care. It will come to you as soon as you stop trying to go to it. You must be relaxed. Look at how frustrated you are. You’ll never see it in a state like that.”
Eidr let out a frustrated grunt and paced quickly around the table.
“Who knew Aithrs spoke in such mysterious phrases? It’s been weeks, and I still have nothing, and your advice is to stop trying? Maybe I’m not cut out for this.”
Conl remained calm. He still hadn’t look up from his book. He put out his hand and stopped Eidr mid-step by grabbing his arm. Conl turned toward Eidr. He relaxed his grip.
“Eidr, you’re looking at it all wrong. I know a few weeks feels like a long time, but it takes many people close to a year to see spior. This includes people with the Talent. Why don’t you focus on your other studies for a while? It will come to you when you least expect it. Trust me. I was just as frustrated as you when I started out. It’s best not to get too worked up over it.”
Eidr stormed out. He was tempted to run away to his parents. He couldn’t spend a year sitting around with his eyes closed trying to see a mysterious energy. It would drive him insane. He felt insane now. He wandered the Third Ring, lost in his thoughts. When he came out of them, he realized he had accidentally made his way back to the mianl building with the hole in the ground. Eidr shuddered at the thought: maybe it called to me.
A man in a black robe stood at the entrance to the door. Eidr wracked his brain. He wished he had studied the robe colors harder. He couldn’t recall there being a black robe at all, yet alone what it meant. It must be some intermediate rank position at Talamir Center. Those were the colors he still had trouble with. The man looked strange. He waved Eidr over. He probably noticed his own robe color indicating he was an Aithr in training.
The man’s voice had a creaky waver to it, as if he were a hundred years old, but the man moved with the grace of a young person. His movements were so smooth, he seemed to be flying instead of walking. Eidr couldn’t get a read on his face, because his hood left it in shadows.
He said, “I bet you’re trying to see spior.”
“Yes. How did you know?”
The man nodded to indicate the robe.
The man continued, “I’ve been in your position before. You want a hint? I bet you’ll be able to see it today.”
Eidr couldn’t believe this. There was a trick he didn’t know about? The excitement built deep in Eidr’s gut, but he remained suspicious. Conl just said it wouldn’t happen for a long time, even with dedicated practice.
Eidr asked, “What is it?”
“Go in this building and sit next to the hole. The bairsgn is the most powerful mover of spior in all of Talamir. That means the spior is strongest and most concentrated in there. You’ll easily be able to see it. Once you’ve seen spior once, you should understand how to get into that frame of mind, and it will be easier in less dense areas.”
Eidr said, “Thank you very much.” But he wasn’t sure this was advice he should be thankful for.
Eidr approach the bairsgn with caution. No one understood this creature. Eidr knew he probably shouldn’t get close to it. Who knew what it was capable of? But he reasoned it was only a few minutes of his time, and it would save him a year of work. Surely it was worth the risk.
The hole looked bigger than last time. He moved to the edge and sat down. The noise was deafening. He couldn’t recall there being a noise last time. Disgusting sucking and sliding noises echoed out of the hole and throughout the building. Eidr tried to calm himself, but a strange nagging sensation kept him from getting into the right frame of mind. The overwhelming noises made him feel like vomiting.
Eidr glanced into the hole, but the disturbing sight of this liquid creature made him fall back. He steadied himself and shut his eyes and tried to sense his own
spior. With almost no effort, it appeared. The shock jolted Eidr out of his meditative state, and he flung his eyes open. But it was all around him. He could see it with open eyes!
The spior moved from everything toward the bairsgn. He watched in horror as it flowed from his own body like a knocked over cup of water. This creature was killing him. Eidr let out a wail of terror. He imagined this was what it was like to watch his own blood flow out of his body at such an alarming rate that he knew he would die from it. He needed to get out of there.
Eidr got up and ran out of the building. As soon as he left the building the visualization of the spior vanished. He looked around for the man in the black robe, but he had also disappeared. Eidr walked back to the church, his mind numb the whole way. He went into the main church instead of the housing area. He sat in a pew and tried again to see the spior.
He struggled for that feeling he had when he saw it. The feeling was more like a particular attitude: a steady certainty about seeing it. He reached for that certainty with all his might. It didn’t come easy, but it came. Eidr looked at the mianl spior lighting above him. He saw it all so clearly. He could see spior at will now. He had to tell Conl.
He went back to the living area. Conl still read his book. The sight of his master caused Eidr to waver about telling him. Conl would know something strange had happened to cause such a sudden shift. For some reason, he instead said, “What does a black robe mean?”
“There’s no such thing as a black robe. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“But I saw someone wandering around in one.”
“Are you sure? It could have been dark blue and you weren’t seeing it clearly.”
“Maybe.”
Eidr knew it was a black robe, and that fact made him uneasy. A strong force seemed to silence Eidr about the man. He couldn’t tell Conl what had happened. He suddenly realized he had probably done something horribly wrong that broke the Code of Aithrs. Aithrs were supposed to work hard to get their skills. He had cut a deal with something to get his powers of observation, but he didn’t know what the other end of the deal was.
~
For the next several weeks, Eidr focused more on his studies. He continued to keep it a secret that he could see spior. When he wanted to practice, he liked to go into the church and sit in the wide open, empty space. The vaulted ceilings gave him a sense of wonder, and since the spior lighting was made of mianl, he practiced moving it. He had been told he would never have that power, but he also started to think that much of what he had been told was wrong.
Eidr sat at the front of the church and closed his eyes. The spior manifested itself around him with ease. He opened his eyes and concentrated on the closest light fixture hanging from the ceiling. The spior was almost palpable. There were no words to describe such a sensation. He reached out his hand toward the spior. It was like moving through water. There was a real physical presence, but when he tried to grab onto it, it just fell through his fingers. It wasn’t solid. There was nothing to grab on to.
He focused harder. He could do this. Countless hours of practice accumulated over the weeks; they couldn’t be for nothing. If the people with the Talent could do it, he could do it. Eidr narrowed his eyes, and then he pulled with all his might.
The effort forced a yelp out of him, and there it was. The light dimmed, and a ball of spior hovered in front of the light. The realization at what he had done caused him to lose concentration, and the spior dissipated back into the light fixture. It brightened to nearly the same level, but some of the spior had been lost.
Eidr took in a sharp breath when he heard a clap come from the back of the church. Someone had seen him do this. How had he not noticed a person enter the building? Eidr jumped up, and he saw the man in the black robe.
The man got up and walked toward Eidr. He hadn’t seen the wrong color. This man actually had a black robe. What did it mean? The slow glide of the man over the floor disturbed Eidr, who had never seen someone walk smoothly and without sound. The robe covered the man’s feet and legs, and Eidr almost believed he was flying.
The man said, “So you can do it. You really are the one.”
Eidr said, “What are you talking about?”
“Keep practicing. You’ll see soon enough.”
The man turned and left the building. Eidr ran out after him, but when he left the church, the man was nowhere to be found. As Eidr stood panting at the entrance, Conl rounded the corner.
“Oh. There you are. I’ve been looking for you. We should go over the birthing ritual. You’ll have to do parts of it tomorrow for Lainr’s new baby.”
Conl put his hand on Eidr’s shoulder and guided him back into the church. As they set up the altar, Conl looked up at the dimmer light. Eidr tried to distract him with conversation, but the birthing ritual only brought one idea to his head.
He asked, “Why have you never said anything about my parents?”
Conl asked, “Are you referring to the fact that they seemed to disappear as soon as you came here?”
“Yes.”
Conl looked Eidr in the eye and said, “Because I know where they are.”
“You do?”
“Yes. I’m the one who told them to go there. They confided in me that they wanted another child, and I explained that moving was their best option.”
Eidr couldn’t speak for a moment. How had Conl kept such a secret from him? Then again, Eidr had started to feel guilty about all the secrets he was starting to accumulate from Conl.
When Eidr regained his voice, he said, “What? But it goes against what the Church teaches. I could see turning a blind eye to it, but how could you advise such a thing?”
Conl shook his head with a smile on his face.
He said, “Oh, Eidr, you have much to learn still. The rules and teachings are important. They provide a needed order and structure to society. But understanding when to make exceptions to a rule is even more important.”
“But what gives you the power to make exceptions? Those rules are there for a reason. If everyone just had as many children as they wanted, Talamir would be destroyed.”
Conl gave a good-natured laugh.
He said, “You only get one life. You must live it how you see fit. We invented these rules for ourselves, so we have the power to follow them or disobey them. Most people don’t care one way or the other about having a second child. Those people ought not do it. Your parents cared deeply about it. This made it fine, because if only the people who truly care do it, the population will not increase enough to matter.”
“But how can you know?”
“We can’t ever know for sure. This is what makes it difficult. It must be decided individually. Only experience can teach you. That’s why you’ll be with me for so many years before you’re allowed to practice on your own.”
Eidr let the conversation stop. They went through the birthing ritual, but all Eidr could think about was trying to move the spior again. Now that he had done it once, he felt confident he could do it again. There was a knack to it he hadn’t realized before, sort of like cupping ones hands to carry water out of the river.
One had to pull with a cupped mind. Before, he hadn’t realized that he needed to keep the spior’s shape in a ball. Of course it would just dissipate everywhere, like water, if he let it. That’s why he wasn’t getting it before. He had stupidly tried to carry water with an open hand.
After the ritual, Conl left, and Eidr said he would stay there for a bit to work on seeing spior. Conl gave him a suspicious look and examined the dim light again before leaving.
Eidr sat at the front and quickly entered the right frame of mind. He pulled like before, and the spior came free from the mianl. Eidr carefully moved it to the next light fixture over. The first one had gone completely dark, and the one to which he moved it had doubled in brightness. He could move spior! Eidr tried again, but now he needed to move only half of the spior back to the first fixture.
Over the next hour, Ei
dr moved spior from light fixture to light fixture, trying to smooth out their varying levels of brightness. He learned that measuring out how much spior he moved was tricky. But through trial and error, he finally got them all looking the same brightness, even if they were overall darker. When he was done, he felt exhausted. He lay back and closed his eyes.
He had the Talent. Why hadn’t he been chosen to study at the school? He could do it now, and that’s all that mattered.
XI
“Dude. You are so stupid,” Loegr said. He sipped on the breakfast fish broth. Drystn wanted sympathy from his friends, but even they couldn’t believe he had been so paranoid.
“We wanted you to be careful, not drive him away,” Ninml added. Neither made eye contact. Drystn couldn’t bring himself to eat. His stomach hurt too much. He tried to comfort himself with the thought that Finr actually liked him and wasn’t manipulating him.
As the days plodded toward the end of the week, his work drove him more and more crazy. The tedium was unbearable. He needed a different group, and he knew which one he wanted to move to. Drystn thought of the mission to spy on the Ruler with dread. Not only was the danger high, he also had to work with Finr.
Drystn found himself back in the meeting room the day of induction. The group of people from the first meeting were all there. Finr eyed him with suspicion.
“I thought you wouldn’t be back.” The cool tone hurt Drystn, and he decided he wouldn’t rise to the bait. He needed to earn that trust back somehow, and successfully completing this job was the only thing he could think of.
A mianlist brought two small mianl shards in his robe’s pouch that he had taken from the supply room.
He said, “Is everyone ready?”
Nods of agreement came from the group. He held the two mianl shards out in front of his body. A vibrant glow indicated they had plenty of spior. Drystn reached out with his senses and grasped at it. When he opened his eyes he could see the spior.
The man began to move the spior from one mianl to the other. Drystn hadn’t ever seen someone make a mianl link. He had only heard about them in theory. He didn’t fully understand how it worked, but there was some mysterious property of spior that would link the two mianl shards if the technique worked. This skill was taught early to mianlists, so he had no doubt this guy could do it. Once the link formed, it transmitted sound from one to the other.