Hits & Mrs.

by Karen Stollznow

  Claudia scoffed.

  “For me to accept I’d have to have my ethics and my integrity surgically removed.”

  Gil laughed.

  “Well, I do have the hands of a surgeon, as you know.”

  He held up his large, strong hands and she tried not to think of all the times those hands had been all over her body.

  “The offer still stands, Claudia. Think about it. Oh, and by the way, say “hi” to Banachek for me,” he said with his annoying grin. “I’ve always been such a big fan of his. That guy would almost make you think that psychic powers exist.”

  Claudia was furious. She rolled up her window, started up her car and sped away.

  Gil watched as her car disappeared down the hill and into the crimson-colored sunset.

  Chapter 22

  Gil was right. Ana found her father living in Homestead, a town in southern Florida. Dragan had lived there for the past twenty years. When she finally spoke with him, Ana discovered that he had attempted to win back Slob’s trust, without success. Dragan liked a drink, after all, he was Serbian, but he was not an alcoholic. He tried to contact his daughter many times over the decades, but he couldn’t find a trace of her online, and because Ana was still living at home, Slob had been blocking his access to her.

  Ana regained her father in her life, and she also gained a younger half-brother that she never knew about.

  As soon as he received a call from Ana, Dragan traveled to the Bay Area where father and daughter had a tearful but joyous reunion. There was a lot of relationship rebuilding to do, both between Ana and her father, and between Ana and her mother.

  All’s well that ends well, but Claudia was still convinced that Ana’s session with Gil had been a hot reading. She speculated as to how he knew so much about Ana and her family. Gil could have bugged Claudia’s phone and office so he was privy to her conversations with Ana and knew about the sting. On the other hand, Gil could have gathered insider information about Ana’s family during his reading with Slob years before. Perhaps Slob used the session as a confessional, as many did, and confessed her guilt that Ana’s father was still alive but she was hiding this information from her daughter. Perhaps it was a combination of all of these theories.

  Claudia had no proof of anything, but what was more believable, that Gil cheated during the reading, or that he could talk to the dead? In the end, it didn’t matter that Claudia could explain away Gil’s amazing insights. Ana was convinced that Gil was the world’s greatest psychic because he brought her father back from the dead.

  Claudia needed a vacation more than ever. She was still reeling from the events of the past few months. Against her better judgment, she’d been dragged back into skepticism by women who needed her help. Now Gil was back in her life. She’d been busting her ass to expose Gil as a fraud but he made her look like a fool at every turn. She opened herself up to public and private humiliation, sexual harassment and assault. This sent her into a bout of depression, and just when she pulled herself out of her blues and summoned the energy to orchestrate what should have been a foolproof sting, the operation had backfired.

  She needed to get away from it all.

  Claudia made a snap decision to go somewhere for a few weeks. But where should she go? She’d always wanted to visit Easter Island to see the Moai statues. It also happened to be one of the most remote places on earth, where no one would have heard of psychic medium Gil Godsend. But it was too difficult to book a trip there at the last minute.

  She thought about how some people choose a destination randomly by spinning a globe and pointing. She didn’t have a globe but she had a map of the world on her office wall. She also had a dartboard beside it with a photo of Gil as the target. His face was spotted with numerous tiny holes and it was either by skill or coincidence that his eyes had been obliterated. She dislodged a dart from Gil’s jugular vein, closed her eyes and tossed the dart at the map. It landed on Afghanistan. She wanted to go on vacation, not get herself killed. She tried again. This time she struck Somalia. This wasn’t going too well. She’d make it the best of three…

  The third time she threw the dart it hit an area on the north east coast of Australia with a funny name: Mooloolaba. The town was located on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland. The name alone sounded exciting. She wanted this trip to be impulsive and spontaneous so she booked a flight to leave the very next day. She was usually a methodical packer, but today she packed only a few items of clothing, and a sexy string bikini, her sunglasses, and a tube of sunscreen. Whatever else she needed she’d grab on the go.

  It was a long 15-hour flight and it took her a day or two to get over the jet lag but it was worth it. Mooloolaba turned out to be a hidden jewel. She rented a quiet little cottage by the ocean. There were coffee shops, restaurants, and bars dotted along endless beaches. The people were friendly, and the town was full of hot guys who liked a girl with an American accent. This was the perfect place for some sun, sand, and surf.

  Her first week was spent at restaurants along the beach where she enjoyed lingering meals and glasses of wine, and she read books in coffee shops. Autobiographies about rock star’s wives, girlfriends, and groupies were brain candy to her, like Pamela Des Barres’ I’m With the Band and Pattie Boyd’s Wonderful Tonight: George Harrison, Eric Clapton, and Me.

  She enjoyed doing nothing, but this gave her too much time to dwell on things.

  That Ana discovered her father was still alive stirred up feelings for Claudia about her own father. He wasn’t going to come back from the grave. He died of Alzheimer’s some ten years ago, but not before he suffered a long and frustrating battle with the degenerative disease. In those early years he became forgetful, but it wasn’t like forgetting where you put your keys, he was putting his keys in the fridge. He forgot words, confused people’s names, asked the same questions and told the same stories again and again. Once he got lost going for a walk in his own neighborhood.

  Before her father developed the disease, Claudia always believed that people with Alzheimer’s weren’t aware of their condition, but when she got to see the effects first hand, she saw that her father had a keen awareness of his memory loss. His decline was frustrating for him, and it was frightening for her to watch him lose himself.

  When she was a little girl, her father gave her a secret code. This was a quote from the poem “Magic” by Shel Silverstein.

  But all the magic I’ve known I’ve had to make myself.

  Yes, she got her skepticism from her father.

  The secret code was for her safety, so she wouldn’t leave school with a dangerous stranger. In case her father ever sent a friend to pick her up from school, this was the password to let her know that the person was safe. They never needed to use it. But when he became sick, the secret code became a way for them to test his memory and gauge his deterioration. Every time Claudia visited him in the nursing home she asked, “What’s the secret code, Dad?” and he recited the quote. Over time, he forgot a word or two. Then, one suitably cold and bleak day, she asked him for their secret code. He looked at her blankly and asked, “What’s your name, young lady?”

  She was heartbroken. He could no longer recognize her, let alone remember their secret code. Soon he couldn’t walk or feed himself. Her father survived another six months but he was already gone.

  She still missed him every single day.

  Claudia wanted to spend some time by herself and clear her head, but she was lonely. What rubbed it in was that she kept seeing happy couples everywhere. These were gorgeous, laughing women with sun-bleached highlights in their hair who were paired up with men sporting tanned six packs as they carried their surfboards. She had been on more “dates” than just about anyone, but she hadn’t been on a real date with someone she actually liked for over a year. Maybe she should have a vacation fling with a tall Aussie lifesguard with freckles sprinkled across his nose.

  Claudia went for a stroll along Mooloolaba beach before dinner. She wondered if she s
hould be adventurous and try eating a kangaroo steak that night. She slipped off her shoes and carried them as she walked along the sand and gentle foamy waves lapped at her feet. She breathed in the salty air while she watched golden sunbeams stream through the clouds.

  She couldn’t help herself. Walking along the beach reminded her of Gil and the old days when they lived together in Santa Barbara. They used to take long walks along Butterfly Beach to catch the sunset over the water. Most of the beaches in Santa Barbara face the south, while Butterfly Beach was one of the few west-facing beaches that caught the sunset. They watched the vibrant streaks of pink and purple stretch out across the sky until the sun drowned in the horizon and darkness fell.

  Claudia enjoyed the peace and quiet but she almost wished she had someone to share the moment with her.

  “Is this when I’m supposed to look up and see the man of my dreams?” she said out loud.

  “Yes, it is,” said a deep voice from behind her.

  She jumped in shock and spun around. It wasn’t a tall, sun-kissed Aussie bloke with freckles across his nose.

  It was Gil.

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

  She rolled her eyes, but there was unmistakable happiness and softness in his eyes. Gil was dressed so casually she barely recognized him. Instead of his usual suit and tie he wore a pair of navy blue beach shorts and a white linen shirt.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked him.

  “Well, what are you doing here?” he asked in reply.

  It reminded her of an annoying brother who repeats everything you say.

  “I’m here to get away from it all, especially you!” she replied. She shook her head and sighed. “So, how did you and I end up at the same gin joint in all the towns in all the world? This is too amazing to be mere coincidence.”

  “Some might call it synchronicity,” he said with a grin.

  “Some might call it stalking.”

  “I came here to see you,” he admitted.

  Claudia was taken aback by his honesty. He had traveled some 7,000 miles to see her. Was that romantic or creepy? How did he know where she was?

  “May I walk with you?” he asked.

  “If you must.”

  They walked in silence for a while.

  “This reminds me of the old days when we lived together in Santa Barbara,” he said, breaking the silence. “Remember those long walks along Butterfly Beach to catch the sunset over the water?”

  “Get out of my head.”

  Gil fell silent again. He was just glad that he was in her head. They continued walking along the beach together but she felt uncomfortable, like he was going to put his arm around her shoulder or try to hold her hand like they were teenagers on their first date.

  As they walked she saw him rubbing his forehead.

  “What’s wrong? Get some sand in your third eye?”

  He laughed with a slightly pained expression on his face.

  “No, I’ve just been getting headaches. My third eye is fine.”

  As they walked Claudia started thinking about her father again. She’d do anything to hear from him one last time, and here she was with the “world’s greatest psychic”. In all of these years she’d never had a reading from Gil. Should she test him, here and now?

  She stopped walking and looked at him.

  “Gil,” she said. “Give me a reading of my dad.”

  He thought about it for so long that she thought he hadn’t heard her question.

  “Gil?”

  He looked straight at her. The softness in his eyes was replaced by sternness.

  “That’s not a good idea.”

  “Why not? Would you tell me that my father’s still alive too?”

  “I only wish that I could,” he said plaintively.

  “Then you’re finally admitting that you’re a liar and you can’t talk to the dead?”

  “Not at all… I just know some things that will… upset you.”

  “Please…”

  Gil hadn’t heard that gentle tone in her voice since they were together. Gone was the stern glare she typically saved for him. As he looked at her the sunlight caught the gold flecks in her eyes and he saw something in them he hadn’t seen in years.

  He tilted his head as if he was listening to a voice she couldn’t hear.

  “…Your father has a message for you… He wants you to know that he loves you and that he’s whole again. He says, “But all the magic I’ve known I’ve had to make myself”.”

  She froze.

  How did Gil know the secret code? Only Claudia and her father knew this.

  No one else did.

  Her mind searched for a rational explanation. Could she have let it slip to him years ago? Was it a lucky guess? Was he really psychic? No…

  All she knew was that she missed her father. Painfully.

  When Gil recited the quote she could hear her father’s voice like he was right there with her. She dissolved into tears. She felt so weak, so vulnerable, and so alone.

  “You’re not alone,” Gil said.

  He took her into his arms. Claudia melted into his body. His familiar embrace felt so comforting, those muscular arms wrapped around her tightly, the smell of his skin, the feel of running her fingers through his thick hair, and the touch of his lips on hers.

  Wait... What was she doing?

  Her body stiffened. This wasn’t a scene from a romance novel. This wasn’t the man she once knew. This guy was a fraud. He was a smooth-talking con artist. He manipulated vulnerable women to get them into bed. Today, she was the vulnerable woman.

  She pulled away from him.

  “I’m not the man you once knew, but I’m also not the man you think I am,” said Gil.

  She let his words sink in for a moment. What did he mean? Was she not giving him the chance he deserved to explain himself?

  He could tell she was letting down her guard a bit.

  “Let’s talk about everything over dinner tonight,” he said.

  From the look she gave him he could see he was going too far, too fast.

  “…Or not talk about anything at all… There’s this great little Indonesian place right nearby that makes a wonderful gado gado and mie goreng.”

  He remembered that she loved Indonesian food. She’d forgotten about their romantic trip to Bali to celebrate their engagement.

  “You’re asking me out on a date?”

  “Yes, if you want that. No, if you don’t. Then it’s just two old friends catching up.”

  She stared at him for the longest time. What was his motive? Was he trying to get her into bed? Probably. Would he try to push her to become his manager? Then she actually considered his invitation to go out that night. Would it hurt to have dinner with him? She was alone in a strange country. It would be safer for her to have company…but maybe not so safe with him. Although he was an old friend…whose heart she once broke and whose career she was now trying to ruin.

  Perhaps she could consider the dinner to be work and she should interrogate him the whole evening? But she was here for pleasure, not business. Didn’t she deserve a little happiness and a little fun on her vacation? She wanted this trip to be impulsive and spontaneous. Gil was always a charming, intelligent, and entertaining dinner companion. He spared no expense during dinner, and didn’t bat an eyelid at the cost of champagne and caviar…but then he might expect something in return. She looked into Gil’s piercing blue eyes, which seemed to have become more vibrantly blue over time, and she had a flashback of him staring intensely into her eyes while he was on top of her.

  Would it hurt to have dinner and have sex with him?

  Wait... What was she thinking?

  Gil was her distant past. He was no longer the man she used to love, the man she was going to marry, and the man she was going to have babies with. There was no white picket fence for the two of them. There was no happy ending with this guy, unless it was one he bought from a seedy late night massage parlor. To
o much had happened between them. She could never go back. It was over. It was dead. She heard thunder in the distance and dark clouds started rolling in, as if they agreed with her.

  “Goodbye, Gil…”

  He looked hurt. She turned around and started to walk away. Instead of making a graceful exit the hot, dry sand sucked her feet down with every step she took. It was like the sand was trying to drag her back to Gil. Then a sudden downpour drenched her. Her hair and clothes were soaked. She walked away for a few minutes and then she looked back. Gil was still standing there in the rain, watching her. Dammit. Why did she do that? She turned around and continued walking. This time she didn’t look back.

  When she woke up the next morning she had a throbbing headache. It almost felt like a hangover, but she didn’t have that much to drink last night, did she? She couldn’t remember much about the night before, but she could remember her dreams. They seemed so real at the time. She had vivid dreams about Gil all night long. She dreamed they ended up going out to dinner that night. She laughed and had sun-bleached highlights in her hair. His shirt was unbuttoned revealing his tanned six-pack and he was carrying a surfboard. They tried eating kangaroo for the first time, it tasted strong, but not gamey, and they had a few too many drinks. Then she’d taken him back to her place. As soon as they closed the door they fell into each other’s arms and fell into bed.

  They made love throughout the night.

  Then she dreamed that she and Gil got back together. Gil’s doctors discovered a tumor on his brain, which was causing his psychic experiences. He had surgery to remove the tumor, and he stopped hearing voices and having psychic premonitions. He quit being a psychic medium and become a clinical psychologist. Claudia sold her business and became a full time author, writing horror novels. Claudia and Gil married and had a beautiful baby boy with piercing blue eyes.

  She was angry that her subconscious mind betrayed her with these dreams, or rather nightmares, about Gil. Then she wondered, briefly, in her sleepy, bleary mind, if she should have stayed with Gil all those years ago. She wasn’t making magic in her life anymore.