Back to Life

by Danielle Allen

  “Wow,” Ty said.

  I spun around, “How long have you been standing there?”

  “Through most of the song. Wow. You have an incredible voice,” he proclaimed.

  “Thanks,” I said and turned back toward the window. Why did he have to hear that song? I thought feeling completely exposed.

  I heard him make his way to the couch. I could feel him staring at me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. The silence was killing me, but I didn’t know what to say to make this situation less awkward.

  “You sung that like you meant it,” Ty observed as I heard his pants softly scrape across the leather as he sat down. I kept my back toward him as I looked at the few joggers and dog walkers that passed below. He continued, “Did you mean it?”

  “That’s one of my favorite songs. How was basketball?” I responded, clearly avoiding where he was headed in his line of questioning.

  “Basketball was interesting. It always is with Bennett… we had words. He, uh, he told me he went out with Whitney Friday night. And that he saw you Saturday morning.”

  I rolled my eyes at the mention of Bennett. “Yeah… I saw him.” I turned around to look at him. “Can I ask you a question,” I continued without waiting for his response, “how are you two friends?”

  Ty laughed, “Yeah, he can be an asshole. But to tell you the truth, he’s not always like that. We’ve been friends since we were in 4th grade. He is the most loyal and honest friend I’ve ever had. His family is like my family. He can be an asshole but he’s always had my back.” He patted the cushion next to him and I begrudgingly pushed myself away from the window and sat down on the couch.

  “We played a pick-up game. And we talked. He told me about Whitney and about the coffee shop run in yesterday morning. So we had words…again. I think he thinks he’s looking out for me. But I’m sorry on his behalf. I’m sorry.”

  I nodded, “He creeps me out. I understand how it is to grow up with someone, be that close to someone, be best friends with someone. But he creeps me all the way out.”

  His jaw clenched before he responded, “Yeah, he hit on you again. That’s what we had words about. He has this theory—well long story short, he thought he was helping. But I set him straight and it won’t happen again. But I wanted to say, I’m sorry.” He leaned his head back and groaned, “I feel like all I’ve been doing this weekend is apologizing.”

  The way his chestnut brown eyes gazed up at me melted my heart a little bit. He looked sad…and tired. “No need to apologize for the coffee shop. It’s him, not you,” I shrugged. He smiled.

  Curiosity getting to me, I attempted to nonchalantly ask, “What is this theory?”

  With a humorless laugh, he said, “He has always been convinced that he could sleep with any woman he wants. So his twisted theory is if he could pick you up, he would know you weren’t good enough for me or something along those lines.”

  “So in order to prove something, he was purposely a complete asshole? Like some sort of trap?”

  “The second time, Saturday morning, yes. The first time, no. That was just him being an asshole,” Ty shook his head.

  “Why on Earth would he think something like that would work?” I sputtered, the shock evident in my voice. What kind of woman would pick Bennett over Tyree Barker?! I thought incredulously.

  “Because it has,” Ty said simply with a shrug of his shoulders.

  “What?!” My mouth fell open in complete shock and horror.

  “Growing up, we were always together. We were like brothers and to some women, we were interchangeable. I work a lot and I’m not as easy as he is so I was very picky about who I spent my time with. Him, not so much,” he said with a hearty laugh.

  “So the women he would chill with didn’t think twice about trying to chill with me. And the couple of times I did meet someone who understood my work ethic and was interesting, he would hit on them without me knowing. After the fact, he’d come to my place and tell me what he did. One of the women went home with him. But because I was never really into anyone more than I was into Motive, it didn’t bother me.” He looked into my eyes and said, “But now things are different.”

  “You are the ideal man. You are kind and funny and successful and handsome. I mean, look at you! How could anyone choose Bennett if they had you?” I burst out, confused. Realizing what I just said, my entire body heated up. I went from denying that I was singing about him to literally singing his praises! What. Is. Wrong. With. Me? I thought as I averted my eyes from him. I could feel him looking at me, but I fought the urge to look back. “I’m just saying. You’re not the asshole he is,” I finished with a flippant tone, trying to cover.

  “That’s all you’re saying huh?” Ty said with a laugh. He still looked tired but not as sad.

  I eyeballed him and fought a smile before I said, “That’s all I’m saying.”

  “Yeah okay,” he smiled. “Well just so you know, I feel the same way about you. You are the complete package.”

  Unable to hold it in, I quirked my lips into a smile and blushed. With a forlorn look in his eyes, he continued, “I don’t want to lose you Sahara. And yesterday…it was good to see Bennett, but I couldn’t focus on anything but you. And after we were done hanging out, I just wanted to come home to you. When you said you needed the day to think, I gave it to you, but it took everything I had not to come here last night.” His voice was gritty and strong.

  “I just needed to get myself together. This has been an emotional weekend. But you are not losing me,” I explained, putting my hand on his. Because I’m in love with you, I thought but didn’t dare admit.

  We were both quietly assessing each other. His hand stroked my face as he studied my features. I leaned my face into his hand with my eyes closed. “Did you sleep okay?” he inquired.

  “I missed you,” I admitted without hesitation.

  “I missed you too,” Ty kissed my forehead. After a moment, he nervously said, “I wanted to tell you something. But first, I have to know…that way you were singing that song seemed personal...what was that about?”

  Momentarily, I thought of deflecting again. But then I opened my eyes and found his. My heart swelled and I felt the butterflies in my stomach. I know he saw it in my eyes so I figured I might as well admit to it. “You,” I blurted out, getting drawn into the look he gave me. My heart beat so loudly, I could’ve sworn he heard it.

  No longer looking sad or tired, his entire face completely lit up. He leaned forward and his lips crashed into mine and I could taste the minty flavor of his toothpaste. Giving in to every emotion I felt, I leaned into the soft strength of his kiss. His lips engulfed me, gaining in strength until I found myself completely wrapped up in him as he pulled me into his lap, straddling him. We’d kissed a lot over the last two weeks, but that kiss was by far the best, I thought as he pulled a fraction of an inch away from me. He stared deep into my eyes before he began, “I love you baby girl.” His voice was a whisper. “That’s what I needed to tell you this morning.”

  My breath hitched. “I love you too,” I answered in a hushed tone. “I said I wanted some space yesterday because I needed time to think about. This all seems to be going so fast and I didn’t think I could hide the way I felt anymore. And Friday was the most vulnerable I’ve ever allowed myself to be for a man. I opened up in ways I never thought I could. And then you left. And I didn’t want to tell you that I love you and you leave. So I needed time to think about what…everything means.” My eyes watered as I admitted the stark truth. And it felt good. I resisted the urge to avoid his intense stare.

  “Baby girl, I’m sorry about Friday night. It was a lapse in judgment. I shouldn’t have left you… especially without leaving a note or a text or anything. I’m sorry. I’ll do whatever I can to make that up to you. I don’t want you to ever worry about me doing that again. You have me. All of me. From the moment we met,” Ty admitted the last statement in a rushed whisper as he looked up at me while I still
straddled his body. He threaded his fingers through mine and kissed the back of my hand.

  “You didn’t even ask me for my number when we met,” I pointed out, leaning down to trail feathery kisses across his lips. “If I’m remembering correctly.”

  “No I didn’t, but you have to understand what happened to me that morning. I was working with little to no sleep. I had just come to Libby Lofts to work out and get some stuff together before my opening. And I go into the gym at a ridiculously early hour and stop in my tracks at this beautiful woman on the treadmill. I mean, you are absolutely beautiful Sahara. You just have this light about you…even though you looked like you had the weight of the world on your shoulders, I could see your light. And then you started singing… Sahara, when you were singing that song. I knew. I knew,” Ty shook his head.

  I opened my mouth to respond, but he continued, “My grandfather told me that one day I’d meet someone who would make me want to live a little. He said I’d know it in my gut the moment I saw her. And I did, baby girl. I looked at you and I knew…I felt it. And then you were singing my grandfather’s favorite song. He used to play it on the piano all the time. He would always say that song was written for him and my grandmother. After she passed away, he would play it and before singing he’d dedicate it to my grandmother. She was his great love.”

  He paused and smiled before confessing, “I’m not going to lie… The way I felt when I saw you, when I heard you sing that song, what I felt between us… it was all too much. So I wrote it off. Even though I introduced myself, I didn’t pursue you. But I knew I couldn’t leave the gym without knowing your name.”

  “But then Jimmy’s…” I smiled at him lovingly.

  “But then Jimmy’s…” he repeated back to me. “The moment I stepped off the elevator and saw you…that was it for me, you had me and there was no turning back.”

  Oh. My. God, I thought. Hearing him be so open about his feelings for me rocked me.

  “I don’t even know what to say to that except that I felt it too. Tyree Barker, you took my breath away. And not just because of all of this,” I gestured to his face and body. Placing my right hand over my heart, I said, “I felt you here. You awakened something in me that I thought was dead. I thought it died…” I couldn’t continue because I still didn’t want to talk about that night with Ty. He leaned up and kissed me. It was so slow and tender and perfect.

  “I love you,” I said softly, getting lost in those big brown eyes.

  “I love you too baby girl.”

  We stayed cuddled on the couch for at least an hour before we decided to cook breakfast. After breakfast, we spent the rest of Sunday morning cuddled in bed, watching movies, and talking. We talked about our childhood, our favorite memories, our future plans. We talked about everything. Well, everything except that night ten years ago. That is off limits. I’m not ready to open that can of worms again, I thought as I wrapped my arm around his torso and snuggled in closer.

  So I don’t know how I’m going to sneak off to Thomasville without him asking questions. Because if I tell him, he’s going to ask questions and he’s going to want to talk about it. He is so supportive and I hate that I bring so much drama and negativity with my past. I just want things to stay how they were before he knew exactly what haunted me. I don’t feel like he looks at me differently, I just feel like I look at everything differently now. So, I just want to go to Thomasville and say my piece so that jerk can remain in jail where he belongs. I can’t and won’t lie to Ty. But I can’t and won’t verbalize the thoughts that haunt me again either. It’s too hard and too emotionally draining. What am I going to do? I thought with a sinking feeling in my stomach.

  I woke up from a nap and smelled meat and veggies being sautéed. Yum! I thought groggily. I got up and brushed my teeth before heading downstairs.

  “Smells delicious baby,” I said when my slippers hit the leather flooring. Taking in the sight of Ty cooking with his shirt off, I stopped to appreciate the deliciousness. His muscles were taut and defined as he effortlessly whipped up a concoction that smelled as delectable as he looked. I walked quickly to the kitchen and wrapped my arms around Ty’s waist. I can’t get enough of him. This week will be the week, I thought as that dull ache resurfaced with a vengeance. Yes, definitely this week.

  “Thank you! I wanted to be done before you woke up, but I had an incident.” I looked in the direction he was pointing: sauce was all over his T-shirt.

  “Well, I am enjoying the show…” I flirted as he turned to face me.

  “Good because I plan on giving you a more comprehensive show in the near future,” he winked.

  “Looking forward to it,” I said as I kissed the center of his chest.

  As we ate dinner, Ty received a call. Only hearing his end, I could tell something was wrong. Once he hung up, I waited patiently for him to tell me what happened. When he didn’t say anything, I took the initiative.

  “Everything okay baby?” I asked sweetly.

  “Uh-huh. I just have some stuff to take care of…out of town,” he said hesitantly.

  “Now?”

  “No, not now. But I’ll have to leave next Thursday and return the following Tuesday. I hate to leave you baby. If there was any way I could stay here with you, I would.”

  He’ll be gone Thursday through Tuesday. I wouldn’t have to even tell him I was in Thomasville because he won’t be here either! Win-win! This is the perfect situation. Even though this unexpected trip has come at the perfect time, I hope that Motive is doing well in his absence. I don’t want any negativity to come his way. He’s worked so hard to have two very successful business ventures and he doesn’t deserve to have anything bad come his way. Including being thrust into the drama of my past, I thought as I snuck a peek at his perfectly chiseled face with his sexy 5 o’clock shadow.

  Chapter 13

  My last week at work before my vacation flew by. Whitney and I pretended as if Saturday never happened as I was busy presenting and then implementing my newly revised policy. Mr. Miller stopped by my office on Tuesday and then again Friday to rave about the new additions I added. Work, I’m good at. I know what I am doing… Relationships I don’t know which way is up, I thought ruefully as I walked into Jimmy’s Friday night. Ty wanted me to meet him at Jimmy’s right after work. I wanted to change but he told me that what I had on when I left for work would be perfect. Even though I was exhausted, there was nothing I wanted more than to spend time with Ty.

  Stopping into the ladies room before going to his office, I looked at myself in the mirror. The red pencil skirt hugged my curves perfectly. I took off the matching red jacket so that the white silk triangle halter top with red buttons down the back showed. I took my hair out of the bun I wore it in and shook it out, running my fingers through the tight curls. Pulling pins out of my Chloe snakeskin handbag, I styled my hair in a sexy up-do. Feeling satisfied with my look, I walked out of the restroom and knocked on Ty’s office door. When he opened the door, his eyes traveled up and down my body as he whistled. Just the reaction I hoped for, I thought as I smiled at his response.

  “Sahara, you look even better than you looked this morning…if that’s even possible,” Ty said as he kissed me and ushered me into his office.

  “Thank you baby!” I exclaimed. “And you look great…as always.” Ty wore khaki pants with an olive green button up. His tie was an olive and khaki herringbone print. Per usual, he looked like a model.

  I walked to the middle of the room and placed my red jacket on the back of one of the chairs. “So what’s going on baby?” I inquired curiously.

  “Do I need a reason to see my girl?” There was a twinkle in his eye as he made his way closer to me.

  “Absolutely not. But I know you and I know something is up. You’ve been acting weird all day. What’s going on?” I laughed. He put his arms around me and pulled me close. He kissed me softly, teasing my lips with his. I melted into his arms as he picked me up and spun me around in a cir
cle.

  “I wanted you to come straight here because I wanted to have dinner with you.”

  “Mmm-hmmm,” I giggled against his lips.

  He put me down and said, “You ready for dinner?” He powered his cell phone off and grabbed his keys.

  “Yes sir!” I chirped as we made his way out of his office and to the restaurant.

  Riding the Libby Lofts elevator to the 9th floor, Ty and I laughed and joked so loudly that our 7th floor neighbors gave us the stink eye before they stepped onto their floor. Continuing our joyous mood, we walked down the hallway to my loft with Ty tickling me. I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes. Begging him to stop, Ty grabbed me from behind and held me.

  “I love you,” he whispered into my hair.

  “I love you too baby,” I responded, leaning into him. My chest still heaving from the bouts of laughter his tickling fingers caused.

  “Let’s get you inside.”

  I opened the door and put my keys on the hall console. As we walked deeper into the loft, I cut on the lights and noticed that Ty was hanging back. I looked back at him questioningly. He smiled and looked down. I quickly looked around the loft before looking at him again.

  “What’s going on? You’re freaking me out,” I burst out anxiously. My wide smile couldn’t be contained as I walked back toward him as he leaned against the wall.

  “I’m just admiring your beauty,” he said smoothly.

  Standing in front of him, I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Is that right?”

  “Yes,” he simply stated. “How about you get changed and then come down the hall? We’ve never stayed together at my loft.”