Ashes & Embers Series Collection (Books 1 to 4)

by Carian Cole

  “Storm . . .”

  “Don’t worry, baby. I’m going to show you everything. I’m going to make every part of you mine.” He pauses like he’s catching his breath. “I can’t wait to touch every inch of you. Fuck. I want to fly back there right now and just get my hands on you. This is killing me.”

  “You can’t do that.”

  “I know. But I fucking want to so bad. I’m going to teach you how to suck me, and you’re going to completely shatter me with those eyes of yours while you’re doing it. You really have no idea the power you have over me, Evie. It scares the shit out of me.”

  My heart lurches at his words, the depth with which he says them.

  “I wouldn’t hurt you, Storm. I don’t want any power.”

  “That’s good, baby, because I intend on taking it away. Are you naked in bed right now?”

  “Yes.”

  “Tell me.”

  I take a deep, trembling breath. “I have a light comforter over me, up to my waist. I have one of the pillows propped up against the headboard, and I’m leaning against it. The lights are off, but the TV is on. The toy is lying on the bed next to me.”

  “I want you to do what I tell you to do, okay? Will you do that for me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good girl. I want you to touch yourself, slide your finger over your lips and tell me if you’re wet.”

  I slowly follow his direction, transfixed by his voice.

  “Yes, I am,” I tell him.

  “Pick up the toy and spread the lube over it.”

  I do as he says. “This thing is huge,” I whisper.

  “Is it bigger than his?”

  “Um, yeah. Quite a bit. I don’t think this will fit in me.” I think I need size S.

  “It better because it’s smaller than me.”

  Holy shit!

  “Jesus, Storm . . .”

  He’s breathing heavier. I think he’s stroking his cock as we’re talking. I wish I could see him, touch him.

  “Are you touching yourself?” I whisper.

  “Yes, I’m so fucking hard for you right now. Will you take the toy and rub it against your clit?”

  “Yes . . . lemme just try to do this without dropping the phone. You could have gotten a smaller one.”

  “Baby, you are such a little train wreck.”

  “I’m sorry . . .”

  This will never work. He’s used to professional sluts who know how to suck him like a Shop-Vac in a flood, and probably know how to work this vibrating rabbit. I am clumsy and completely sexually incompetent.

  “Don’t be sorry, Evie. You’re exactly what I need. You frustrate the hell out of me, but I love it more and more every day.”

  “I’m a mess . . . you’re right . . .” I feel like I’m going to cry. I can’t even do phone sex right. There is no way I will be able to keep a guy like him satisfied.

  “You’re going to be my mess. Now, cut the shit. I can’t take this anymore. I want you to take the toy and rub yourself with the tip of it.”

  “Should I turn it on?”

  “Not yet. Just lie back and listen to me. Stop thinking.”

  I tentatively rub the tip of the vibrator against me.

  “Now, slowly push it in just a tiny bit.” I do. I can feel myself getting wetter. I feel naughty.

  “Turn it on and put the bunny ears right over your clit.”

  I do that, and the little buzzing ears vibrate a million thousand times on my already quivering bud.

  Holy shit! Where has this thing been my whole life?

  “Oh, wow . . .” I say breathlessly.

  “It’s nice, huh? I wish that was my tongue licking you, but for now, this will have to do.”

  I press the little ears harder against me. “I loved when you licked me,” I tell him. “I never felt anything like that. Ever. It was even better than the hot tub.”

  “You just wait, baby. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.” His breathing is becoming heavier, faster, as is mine. I can hear his hand on his flesh.

  “I want you to slowly slide the vibrator into you, Evie. Keep the little ears pressed against you.”

  “Okay . . .” I push the head of the toy inside myself, but it’s not going in easy. It’s wide and feels too big. I want it, though. I’m so turned on from the vibrating and knowing he is touching himself right now, thinking about me.

  “It’s tight, Storm. I can barely push it in.”

  “Fuck, baby. I want you to try to get more in. I want you to know what I’m going to feel like. Close your eyes and think about me. Pretend that’s my cock, slowly ramming into you.”

  Ramming.

  I slowly push more of the toy inside me. I feel my insides spreading. It hurts, but I push a little further. The vibrating sensation is wild, making my entire body light up and want to be touched.

  “Feel how I’m going to spread you open around my cock, Evie. Feel how deep I’m going to go into you.”

  “Oh, God, Storm . . .”

  “Does it feel good?”

  “Yes . . . so good.”

  “I’m going to come. I want you to with me. Can you?”

  “Yes . . . please.” I push the toy in and out, faster and deeper. It hurts, but I don’t care. The pleasure is outweighing the pain. Envisioning Storm inside me takes all the pain away. I want him in me, just like this.

  “Storm . . . now . . .” My words are gone, stolen by the orgasm that sweeps over my body. I hear his breath in my ear, gasping. He sounds so incredibly hot. I wish so badly I was there with him, my hand on his cock instead of his own.

  We’re quiet for a few moments, basking in the wooziness of post-orgasm, listening to each other’s breathing.

  I pull the toy out of me and turn it off. Shit. My body feels like Jell-O. Every orgasm I’ve had in Storm’s presence has been intense and exhausting.

  “Thank you for doing that with me, Evie. That was sexy as hell.”

  “No, thank you for sending me this thing.”

  He laughs deeply. “Don’t enjoy it too much. I want you to need me to make you feel good.”

  “Whoever invented this thing is a genius,” I say. “And don’t worry, I don’t think it can take your place.”

  “It better not. Or else it will suffer my wrath.”

  I giggle at him. “I wish you were here,” I tell him. “I looked at our picture at least a hundred times today.”

  “I may have done that, too.”

  I glance over at the clock. It’s getting late, but I don’t want to go to sleep. I don’t want to let him off the phone. I wish I could feel his arms wrapped around me again like he did in the truck.

  “Evelyn, I really like you like this. Letting your walls down. I love hearing you laugh.”

  “It’s hard, Storm. I feel guilty and like I don’t deserve to be happy.”

  “I get that. I really do. But you’re not a bad person, Evie. And I know I’ve dragged you into a lot of situations you didn’t want to be in, and I’m sorry for that. But I’m not sorry for making you happy, and hopefully, getting the chance to make you even happier and getting you to step out of your comfort zone and enjoy life a bit more. Life’s too short to be miserable.”

  “I know . . .”

  “Did you say you were on the pill?”

  “Yes. Why?”

  “Because when we make love, I don’t want to use anything. I just want to feel you.”

  I’m not sure how I feel about that, knowing he’s been with so many women. “Storm . . . that makes me a little nervous.”

  “You think I have a disease?”

  I gulp. “Yes. You said you sleep around . . .”

  “I always use protection, and I get tested every six months, just to be sure. I’m going to send you copies of my results.”

  “Storm . . . you don’t have to do that—”

  “Yes, I do. I want you to feel safe with me. It’s not a problem at all. I have digital records of everything. I’ll send it all to y
ou so you can feel comfortable with me.”

  I feel awful making him prove his sexual health status to me, but in all honesty, it will alleviate my worries.

  “All right. I’m sorry, Storm. I hate to make you feel like that. I really do.”

  “Evie, it’s totally normal. No worries at all, okay, baby?”

  “I’m looking at apartments tomorrow night,” I tell him, wanting to change the subject. “I found three I might be able to swing.”

  “I told you if you need money, I’ll help you. There’s no reason for you to stress about that.”

  “Storm, no. I need to do this on my own. I appreciate the offer, but I really need to just do this myself.”

  He relents. “All right, babe. I’m proud of you for being so strong, but the offer stands. You’d better go to sleep. I don’t want you playing with the bunny all night, okay?”

  “I’ll try not to,” I tease.

  We say our goodbyes and I fall asleep, mentally and physically exhausted.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  LOOKING AT APARTMENTS BY MYSELF HAS a bigger impact on me than I thought it would. At first, I thought of this just as an escape. A place to just stick my things in until . . . until what, I’m not sure.

  But now, actually looking at these apartments, I suddenly feel very independent. Strong. For the first time in my life, I’m doing something just for me, by myself. With no one’s direction, or help, or assistance.

  Apartment number three feels magical to me. It’s attached to an older couple’s large home but is completely separate from their house with its own entrance. The woman’s mother had lived there before she had to go into a nursing home. It has two bedrooms, a large bathroom, small kitchen, and large living room with a dining area off to the side. Both the master bedroom and the dining area have built-in window seats—perfect for me to write in my journal and for Halo to sunbathe. The rooms have vaulted, beamed ceilings, and everything is decorated with very soft and earthy warm beige, corals and jades. It feels cozy and just . . . right. It’s still fully furnished with beautiful furniture that looks like it’s never been touched, and pretty artwork of flowers and hummingbirds hang on the walls. All the paintings have hummingbirds.

  Jane, the owner, smiles when she sees me looking at the paintings. “My mother . . . she painted all of these when she was younger. She had a fascination with hummingbirds.”

  “She’s very talented,” I exclaim. “They are all so beautiful. She really captured them. Who doesn’t love hummingbirds?”

  She beams then shows me the closets with built-in storage shelves and drawers, and proudly informs me the appliances are all under two years old. I love her. She is sweet and reminds me of my mother.

  Standing in the living room, I know this is where I want to live. This is where I want to start my new life.

  “I love it here. It’s perfect. I would love to live here if you approve.”

  “May I ask, is it just you who will be living here?”

  “Yes . . . and my very elderly cat that is deaf. He’s very clean, though, doesn’t have any bad habits. I have a boyfriend who may stay occasionally, but he would not be living here permanently.”

  “Oh, that would be no problem at all. I’m a cat lover myself. I have two. I like you, Evelyn. I think you would be a wonderful tenant. I’ve been rather picky about who I want to live here, as it’s attached to our home and everything here belonged to my mother. Sadly, she didn’t get to stay here long and couldn’t take any of it with her, so if you need it, all of the furniture could stay. We honestly have no use for it. I have four bedrooms in the house and they are already furnished, and we don’t need a living room set.”

  “Jane, I don’t even know what to say. That would really help me so much. I don’t really have any furniture of my own. And I absolutely love all of this. I honestly wouldn’t change a thing. I can pay you for it—”

  She puts up her hands. “Absolutely not. I just ask that you take good care of it. I would love for it all to be used and not wasted or out on the curb. I don’t have time to sell furniture. It’s been hard enough trying to find a tenant. If you’re interested, then it’s all yours.”

  I nod, a big smile growing across my face. “Yes. I definitely want it. As soon as possible.”

  I’m so excited about the apartment, I call Storm as soon as I get in the car. Usually, I don’t just call him unexpectedly, but I can’t wait to share the news with him.

  “Hey, baby. I was just thinking about you.” I can hear people talking and random guitar sounds in the background. They must be setting up for their show tonight.

  “I have good news! I just found the best apartment ever! I can move in as soon as I want!”

  “Holy shit, that’s awesome. Hang on a sec while I try to find a quieter place.”

  I hear him shuffling around on the other end of the phone and the sounds of the guys fade.

  “Okay, this is better. Sorry about that. I’m really excited for you.”

  “I am, too. It’s just so cozy, and it’s in a safe place in a nice neighborhood.” I give him all the details about the furniture and the owners.

  “It sounds terrific, Evie. Do you need any help moving? I won’t be back home for a few weeks, but I could send someone over. Lukas isn’t on this tour with us. I’m sure he’d help ya out, no problem.”

  “I’ll be okay. I’m going to leave the furniture with Michael. I’ll just have my boxes, and I can handle those by myself. Amy will give me a hand. I’m just so excited and nervous.”

  “You’re gonna be fine, babe. I can’t wait to see it.”

  “Really? Will you come over to see it when you get home?”

  “Of course,” he says like I’m crazy. “Evie, if you leave Michael, I want to see you as much as possible. I thought you knew that.”

  “I just . . .” I don’t know what to say. “I’m afraid you’re going to change your mind, or get bored. I don’t know what I think, Storm.”

  “Evie, I’m not going to change my mind or get bored. I want us to date like normal people and get to know each other. I need you to believe that. I know shit sucks right now, with you being with him and me being away and all the other crap we’ve been through, but I just wanna put it behind us when I get back home.”

  “I do believe you . . . I just keep thinking what you told me in the truck, about how you don’t do relationships.”

  “I didn’t. Not for a long time. Being stuck with you, talking to you, seeing your eyes light up, sleeping with you in my arms, fuckin’ arguing with you, turning you on . . . it all made me want this. Did I expect it? Hell no. But now that I feel it, I want it.”

  I close my eyes and lean the phone against my face, absorbing his words, letting them seep into the deepest parts of me that are scared.

  “Storm, the guys are waiting for you.” I hear a female voice in the background. The hairs on my arm rise up. I know it’s her.

  “I’ll be there in a few,” he yells back.

  “You’re holding everyone up,” she says. “As usual.”

  Go away, ho.

  “Are you deaf? I said I’ll be there in a fucking minute.” His voice is nasty, rude even, in a way I’ve never heard before. I would never want that directed at me.

  “Is that her?” I ask, hating the jealousy in my voice.

  “Yes.”

  “Great.”

  “I swear on Niko, nothing is going on or has gone on. I’ve been in my room alone every night, talking to you, texting you, or thinking about you. I’m not a liar, Evelyn. You may not always like my truth, but you will always get it.”

  I let out the breath I’ve been holding. “I believe you, Storm.” And I do. He’s not perfect. He comes with sharp edges. But one thing I’ve come to realize is that he’s real, raw, and honest. I know when he says something he means it. Period.

  “I better go or Vandal will be throwing a fit. He’s been in a shit mood all day, saying we’re all off. He and Ash have been at each oth
er’s throats, and I’m sick of playing referee.”

  “Oh . . . I hope things get better.”

  “He’ll calm down, eventually. I probably won’t get to talk to you tonight. By the time the show ends and I get back to the hotel, it’ll be after midnight. I don’t like keeping you up every night.”

  “Storm, I don’t mind. I love hearing your voice before I go to sleep.”

  “Me, too. I’ll see how late it is. Just don’t worry if you don’t hear from me, okay?”

  “I promise I won’t freak out.”

  “Good. And Evie? I’m really happy about your apartment. I can’t wait to be there with you.”

  He hangs up and I hold on to the phone for a few seconds. Every time we part, whether it is in person or on the phone, I feel like a piece of me is pulled away. Like a puzzle missing one piece.

  I pull my journal out of my bag and jot a few quick notes in my list.

  Pack.

  Talk to Michael.

  Send Jane a thank you card.

  Change my address.

  I feel good about my list. I can do these things.

  Before pulling away from the curb, I take one more look at the place that will soon be my new home, and I feel at peace.

  I’m barely home for five minutes and my cell phone starts ringing with an unknown ringtone and number. I frown at the screen and answer it.

  “Hello.”

  “Evelyn, it’s Aria Valentine. Have I reached you at a convenient time?”

  Aria! Storm’s mother. Eeek!

  “Yeah . . . Of course. How are you?”

  My mind scrambles. Why is she calling me? Did something happen to Storm? I just spoke to him not thirty minutes ago. Maybe she dug up some dirt on me? But I don’t have any dirt. She hates me. She doesn’t want her favorite son dating a chick who’s already living with someone—

  “I’m great, a little crazy busy right now, which is why I’m calling you. I hope you don’t mind that I asked Storm for your number.”

  I sit on the loveseat and kick my heels off. “No, of course, that’s fine. Any time. Can I help you with anything?”