Ashes & Embers Series Collection (Books 1 to 4)

by Carian Cole

  He would never risk that. Never.

  Would he?

  My heart screams no, but then I have to turn to the other side of this coin and face a horrible fact. My own daughter lied to me and set out to hurt me.

  Macy has been staying with Shelley for almost a month when she finally shows up at the house again, and when she does, she’s in a new car. I walk out to the driveway in a state of shock.

  “Where did you get this?” I demand, looking over the shiny new red sports car in the driveway.

  “Daddy bought it for me. He didn’t want me driving my piece of crap car to college. He said it wasn’t safe.”

  “Really? Is that all?” Of course. It’s all clear now. Tremors of rage course through me.

  “Yes.”

  She walks toward the house, and I follow her inside, hot on her heels.

  “Macy, sit down. We’re going to talk.”

  She turns and rolls her eyes at me. “Mom, I’m tired. I’ve been sleeping on Shelly’s couch for weeks, waiting for things to diffuse.”

  “Diffuse?” I repeat. “Sit down right now. This isn’t over.”

  Throwing her purse onto the couch in a huff, she sits and stares at the floor. “Mom, I’m sorry about Lukas.”

  “Are you, Macy? Really?” I try to keep my voice as level as I can, when all I really want to do is blow up.

  “Yes, of course I am. I didn’t mean for it to happen . . . it just did.”

  I sit next to her and try to remain calm. “Tell me what happened. All of it.”

  “What? That’s sick, Mom.”

  “I want you to tell me. Now. If you don’t, I’m going to have that car towed right out of the driveway.”

  Her eyes shoot daggers at me. “You can’t do that.”

  “Watch me.”

  She squirms, playing with the wrist strap on her phone. “I went to the party with Brent, even though you told me I couldn’t go. I was mad at you. I’m eighteen. You can’t tell me what to do.”

  “As long as you live under my roof, you follow my rules. We went over that. Continue, please.”

  She sighs. “I had a few drinks, and he was being a total jerk to me. There were a lot of kids at the party, but no one from my school. There were a lot of college girls there, and I found him fooling around with one. We had a big fight, and he took off with her and left me there. I had no way to get home, and I didn’t want to call you and hear the ‘I told you so’, so I called Lukas to come and get me. He wanted me to tell you what happened, but I said no, I’d call you in the morning.”

  “Then what? Were you drunk?”

  “Yes. Not like fall on my face drunk, but I was a little messed up. He said I could sleep in his guest room. When we got there, he offered me some clothes to sleep in, and I took off my clothes and kissed him.”

  My blood goes cold. “Why? Why would you do something like that?”

  She shrugs. “Because he’s hot. And I was mad at you.”

  “Then what happened?”

  “We kissed some more, and then we did it. I fell asleep in his bed and woke up when I heard you downstairs.”

  “You did it?” I repeat.

  “Yeah, I was still pretty messed up and tired, though, and can’t remember everything that happened.”

  “So he took you into his bedroom?”

  “Yeah.” Uncertainty starts to edge into her voice.

  “Macy, this is serious.”

  “I know.”

  “And you slept in there?”

  “Yes. I woke when he got up to get the door when you showed up, and I was mad that you interrupted us.” Her voice wobbles and she continues to play with her phone strap. “That’s what happened.”

  “You’re lying.”

  She swallows hard and takes a deep shaky breath. “I am not.”

  “You are, Macy, and you’re going to tell me why. But first, I’m going to tell you how I know you’re lying. I know because I believe Lukas. I’ve sat here for weeks, mulling this over and over in my mind and in my heart, because I trust both of you. I love both of you.” I try to fight back the tears, but I can’t hold them in. “You’re my little girl. Everything I’ve done since I got pregnant at eighteen has been for you, to give you a good life, to make sure you would always be happy, and I never would have thought you could do something like this to me. To anyone, for that matter.”

  She starts to shake and tears roll down her cheeks. “Mom . . . I’m so sorry.”

  I put my hand on her leg. “It’s terrible to have to try to choose between two people you love and figure out which one would hurt you, to try to figure out which one would lie to you, and I hate to say this, honey, because it hurts me so much . . . but I don’t believe a word you’re saying. I believe Lukas, because I know how much our relationship means to him and how badly he wanted something real. He would never throw it away, and he would never lie to me or hurt me, because I know how much he loves me.”

  My daughter blinks up at me, her face reddening, tears streaming down her face. “But for some reason, you decided to set out to hurt me, to wreck my life and take away my happiness, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why you would do something so horrible.” I swallow, and she bites her lip, refusing to look at me again. “At first, I thought you still had a crush on him. I know what that can feel like. But now, I know what the real reason is, and it’s sitting in our driveway. Isn’t it?”

  She tries to stand, but I grab her hand. “Isn’t it, Macy?” I demand.

  Her voice is barely a whisper. “Yes,” she admits.

  My heart almost stop beating. “Why would you do such a thing?”

  She starts to cry, her shoulders shaking. “I’m so sorry, Mom. I didn’t want to.”

  “Then why did you do it? Just tell me the truth.”

  “Daddy said he’d buy me a car if I broke up you and Lukas. He said to make sure I made it look like he slept with me. At first I said no, but he kept bringing it up every time I talked to him. He was obsessed with it, and kept trying to twist my head all up with new ideas of what I could do. He showed me pictures of the car he would get for me. I told him I didn’t want to, but then that night when Lukas let me stay at his house, it all just kinda happened. I really didn’t think you would fall for it, but everything kinda worked out perfect.”

  Worked out perfect. My daughter thinks hurting people is perfect, and her father talked her into it, bribing her with a new car.

  That bastard. I’m so furious that my hands are shaking. I want to smash his face in.

  Macy’s voice breaks through my anger. “Mom, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would be this bad.”

  “I don’t know who I’m more disappointed in,” I say quietly. “You or your father. What he asked you to do is disgusting, and I can’t believe you would go along with it. For a car.”

  “Mom . . .”

  I put my hand up, angry tears falling down my face. “What you did was unforgivable and so incredibly devious. Lukas is a good man. He would do anything for you and Tommy.”

  She wipes her face with her hand. “I know that. I love you guys together, Mom. Me and Tommy both do. He’s a better dad to us than Dad ever was.”

  “Then how could you do that to him?” I practically scream. “And to me?”

  “I don’t know!” she wails. “Daddy kept saying it was the best thing to do. He said Lukas isn’t who he pretends to be, that he’s just a young guy taking advantage of a lonely older woman, and that he would hurt you, too. He said I’d be helping you in the long run.”

  “Do you really believe that?”

  She shakes her head and sniffles, wiping her eyes with her fingers. “No. I just really wanted the car, Mom. Mine was a piece of junk! All my friends have new cars.” The mindset of a teenager—they can justify anything, just because they want it.

  “So you hurt two people who love you over a car? For God’s sake, Macy, Lukas probably would have lent you the money for one if he knew you needed a new car.
He’s just that nice.”

  “You’re right,” she says, nodding. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know it would hurt you so much. I wasn’t expecting Lukas and his psycho brother to go crazy on me.”

  “Is it true that you touched him?” I silently pray this part isn’t true. “He said you put your hands on him.”

  She squirms uneasily. “Yes, I grabbed him and I kissed him.”

  Nausea bubbles up in my stomach. “I am so sickened by you right now, Macy. I can’t even put it into words.”

  “This isn’t all my fault, Mom! He could have tried harder to push me away if he really wanted to. He’s much bigger than me.”

  I jump up off the couch, my limit reached. “That’s it. You need to leave, right now. Pack up some things and go to your father’s house. I can’t have you living here.”

  Shock and fear touches her face, her mouth falling open. “Mom! You can’t kick me out!”

  “Yes, I can. You can stay at your father’s until college starts. I can’t believe you would hurt me like this. I have no idea who you are, but you are definitely not the daughter I raised.”

  “Okay, it was all my fault,” she admits, as if it’s somehow going to make things better. “I totally provoked him. Are you happy now? He pushed me away and kept saying he loves you. Okay? I told you everything. Can I just stay here, please? I don’t want to live with Dad and fucking Charlene!”

  I shake my head furiously.

  “Absolutely not. Take your new car and go stay with them, and think about the horrible things you have done out of greed. I didn’t raise you to behave this way, and I can’t be around you right now. You’re right. You’re eighteen. You’re an adult. Go be one at your father’s house until I can forgive you for this, or live with one of your friends.”

  It tears my heart out to watch her cry as she runs to her room and returns a few minutes later with an overstuffed duffel bag, just like her father did not long ago.

  She stops at the front door and turns to me again, her face red, her makeup smeared all over her face. “Can I please just stay here? Mom?” Her voice cracks. “Don’t make me leave. I promise I’ll apologize to Lukas. Nothing like this will ever happen again. I won’t ever talk to him again if you want.”

  I hold my ground, clenching my jaw. “No. I love you, Macy, but what you did is horrible beyond words. I’m going to need some time to get over this.” I turn away from her and hear the door open and close, and seconds later her shiny new car is pulling out of the driveway.

  I fall onto the couch and burst into tears, hating Paul for once again ripping away everything I love and destroying my life.

  “I’m going out for lunch,” I tell my assistant, breezing past her desk. “I’ll be back in about an hour.”

  She nods at me, so immersed in her work that she doesn’t look up from her computer screen, and I make a mental note to find out when she’s due for her next review.

  I walk to the park a few blocks away from my office and sit on a bench under a huge willow tree, the crisp late summer air helping to clear my head. I haven’t been sleeping much at all, and I feel like it’s catching up to me, giving me brain fog and making me cranky. When I called Lukas the night I had it out with Macy, I wasn’t expecting him to tell me he needed some time to think before he could let me back into his life. Sleepless nights and endless days have plagued me since.

  Stupidly, I thought that, once I apologized for doubting him, he would welcome me back with open arms. He’s not like other people, though. He may be incredibly loving and have a huge heart, but I learned the hard way that he gives that part of himself to very few, and second chances are rare when it comes to him.

  With Lukas, it’s all or nothing, and I didn’t give him my all. I thought I did, but when it came to proving it, I failed miserably. I shouldn’t have pushed him away and shut him out the way I did. I should have talked to him and worked it out together. So much for me being the supposed mature one of the relationship.

  “Can I sit?”

  I look up, but he’s already taken the liberty to sit on the bench next to me.

  “Asher?” I glance around to see if anyone else is with him. Like Lukas. But he’s alone. “What are you doing here?”

  He chews the toothpick hanging out of his mouth. “Meeting a friend. You?”

  “I’m on my lunch break. My office isn’t too far from here.”

  “It’s a nice day to get out.”

  “Yeah. It is.”

  He nods and studies me. “Did you know Lukas was born with a hole in his heart?”

  My head snaps to face him, shocked by his sudden statement. “What?” My voice quivers, and I swallow the lump that instantly forms in my throat. “No . . . he never told me that.”

  “I’m not surprised. He doesn’t like to talk about it. It’s why his mother gave him up. She was afraid he’d need too much care.”

  I don’t bother to brush the tear that creeps down my cheek. My heart races, and I’m suddenly stricken with fear that he’s sick, or dying.

  Asher continues in his melodic voice. “I find it ironic that someone with such a huge heart has a hole in his own, and that the people who should love him keep falling through it.”

  “I do love him,” I say defensively. “More than anything. You don’t understand.”

  He pulls the toothpick out of his mouth. “Oh, trust me. I do.”

  “I still want to marry him. I’ve tried to talk to him, I apologized for what happened. He’s all I want.”

  Another man comes along and sits on the bench next to Asher. He’s tall and broad, wearing a worn black leather jacket, black motorcycle boots, and dark sunglasses. His head is shaved but covered in tattoos.

  “Hey, man, how’s things?” Asher asks him.

  His friend laughs. “I’m dying. How do you think I’m doing?”

  Asher nods slowly, staring off across the park. “We’re all dying. Some of us just faster than others.”

  I want to get up and leave, but I feel riveted to this bench.

  “How’s your other half?” the friend asks.

  Asher hands him a small bottle, of what, I don’t know. “She’s sleeping,” he replies.

  “I wish I could fucking sleep,” the friend says.

  “Me, too,” I mutter in agreement.

  Asher turns his attention back to me. “What do you think is worse, Ivy? Not trusting the person you gave your heart to, or giving your heart to someone and them not trusting you?”

  The friend sighs loudly. “Here we go . . .”

  Asher kicks him in the shin. “Shut the fuck up.”

  He turns back to me. “Well?” he asks softly.

  I try to answer him honestly. “I think both scenarios are equally upsetting,” I reply, wondering what the heck is happening on this park bench with these two. Did they arrange this?

  He leans back against the bench. “Indeed, they are.”

  We sit in silence, watching the birds and squirrels scavenge for food around us. A tiny black feather drifts from above and lands on my leg. I pick it up and hold it gently between my fingers, admiring its soft downy fuzz.

  “You know what they say?” Asher asks, standing up.

  “About what?”

  “A lost feather means an angel is near.”

  I stare at the feather and think of all the little black feathers I’ve found in random places over the past few months. Are they a sign? Of what? He leans down and kisses the top of my head, an affectionate gesture that surprises me. “You need to go fill that hole in his heart, okay? You’re family now.”

  His friend stands up and stretches. “Nice meeting you.” He nods his chin at me.

  “You, too . . .” I say, not having a clue who he is. Maybe another brother or cousin? He looks like he could be part of the band, but he definitely wasn’t there the night I saw them at the club. I tuck the feather into my jacket pocket so I can put it with the others in my nightstand.

  “One more thing before I go,”
Asher says. “He’s going to need your help with something. If you could do it with him, it would mean a lot, and I think it would be good for both of you.”

  I look up at him and frown, confused by all of his strange vagueness. “Help with what? Is he okay?”

  “He’s okay, sweetness. Just be there for him.”

  “All right . . . I will.” I’ll do anything to make things right with Lukas again.

  He smiles at me. “You guys are gonna be okay. Set a wedding date soon, so I can make some plans.”

  Before I can answer, he and his friend have left and are walking down the pathway to the park exit. I watch them until I can’t see them anymore, wondering where they’re going and if it was a coincidence that Asher found me here. What are the chances of that?

  CHAPTER 28

  IVY

  Me: Can I come over tonight? I really want to see you. And talk. I have so much I need to say to you.

  Lukas: No

  MY HEART DROPS.

  Lukas: Come now. My last appt is leaving in ten mins. I don’t want to wait.

  Shit. I can’t tell if this is good or bad.

  I tell my manager I have an appointment, and leave the office in a hurry, heading straight to Lukas’ house. I don’t have to pick up Tommy from school, because Paul is picking him up to take him for the weekend, which I’m not happy about after the stunt he pulled with Macy. What if he tries another maneuver like that and uses Tommy to hurt me next? We don’t speak to each other at all since the incident with Macy, so all communication is done via our lawyers. I honestly don’t even want him to have joint custody, but my lawyer says that will be a hard fight to win, even after how he manipulated Macy. The lawyer is also afraid provoking Paul will make him drag Lukas into the situation and try to make him look like a bad influence around Tommy, and that’s the last thing I want. So for now, I have to let things be.

  My hands are shaking with nervousness when I get to Lukas’ house and ring the bell. It’s been a month since we’ve seen each other, but it feels like so much longer. Despite Asher’s riddling comments, what if Lukas just doesn’t want me anymore? I can’t even blame him if that’s the case after the way I treated him.