Afraid

by Mandasue Heller

  ‘No.’ Skye shook her head and dipped her gaze guiltily. It was no wonder he was angry. He was trying to protect her, and she had risked being caught and getting them both into trouble. ‘Sorry, I didn’t think.’

  ‘Well, you need to listen to me in future,’ Tom said, pushing her back inside when the dog came slinking back. ‘All it’ll take is for one person to see you, and that’s it – game over.’

  ‘I know,’ Skye said contritely. Then, wincing when he kicked out at Bernie, she cried, ‘Don’t do that! I just told you it was my fault.’

  ‘He knows he’s not allowed out unless I’m here.’ Tom eyed the dog as it scampered inside with its tail between its legs. ‘Last time he got loose he tried to attack someone, and the police said they’ll shoot him if it ever happens again.’

  ‘God, that’s horrible,’ Skye gasped.

  Tom gave her a dark look and then went back to the car and took several bulging carrier bags out of the boot before following her inside.

  ‘I got out of work early so I could do some shopping,’ he told her, dumping the bags on the ledge. ‘Thought I’d best stock up, seeing as we don’t know how long this is going to go on for.’

  Desperate to get back into his good books, Skye said, ‘I’ll put it away, if you want?’

  Tom relocked the door and slipped his jacket off. Then, breathing in deeply to shake off his bad mood, he held out his arms and said, ‘You can do it in a minute. I want my kiss first.’

  Skye closed her eyes when he pulled her close and forced his tongue between her teeth. She didn’t like it any more than she had the first time, but she told herself that she would get used to it – eventually.

  When it was over and Tom let her go, she waited until he turned to get something out of his pocket before quickly wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. She gave him an innocent smile when he turned back to her, and said, ‘I was going to do some cleaning. Have you got any bleach, and cloths, and that?’

  ‘Look under the sink,’ Tom told her, squinting as he lit a cigarette.

  Bernie was lying on his blanket. He was visibly trembling, and Skye felt guilty when he flicked a nervous glance at her as she knelt down to search the cupboard. He would never have been kicked if she hadn’t let him out, but she sensed that Tom wouldn’t approve if she made a fuss of him. So she ignored him and rooted through the ancient bottles and cans until she found some bleach and a crusty old dishcloth.

  Tom was staring at her when she stood up and turned back to him. ‘They’ve been talking about you on the news again,’ he said. ‘It was on the radio when I was driving back just now. They reckon you’re dangerous, and they’re warning people not to approach you if they see you.’

  ‘Why?’ Skye was stunned.

  ‘Your mum and dad told them that you threatened to kill them in their sleep, so now the police think you’re some kind of psychopath.’

  Skye’s face drained of colour and her legs went weak. ‘That’s not true.’

  ‘We know that, but they’ve only got your parents’ word to go on so they’re taking no chances.’ Tom took a deep drag on his cigarette and shook his head. ‘I just wish they knew you like I do, then they’d know it was all lies.’

  Grateful that he still believed in her, Skye sat down heavily on the chair facing his and tried to make sense of this latest news.

  ‘Look at you, all upset.’ Tom reached across the table and took her hand in his. ‘Your parents should be ashamed of themselves. They’ve got a lovely daughter, but it’s like they just want to get rid of you any way they can. It’s cruel, and they don’t deserve you. And when they said that about you being promiscuous …’ He trailed off and clenched his jaw.

  ‘What does that mean?’ Skye croaked.

  ‘That you sleep around,’ said Tom. ‘Makes me so mad hearing stuff like that when I know I was your first. I was tempted to stop the car and ring that radio station when I heard what they were saying, but I couldn’t risk it, because then everyone would know that you’re here. I might have to, though, if they keep on saying it.’

  ‘No, you can’t!’ Skye begged, terrified that she would get caught.

  ‘It’s really hard to hold it in when I know they’re lying,’ Tom said, gazing into her eyes. ‘But I won’t say anything if you don’t want me to. They’ll find out the truth eventually, but you’re all I care about right now.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Skye gazed down at their hands as he entwined his fingers through hers. ‘I just don’t understand why they’re doing this. What have I done to make them hate me so much?’

  ‘They’re idiots, and you’re better off without them,’ Tom said supportively, flicking his ash into the saucer he’d been using as an ashtray. ‘I saw Jade earlier, by the way.’

  ‘Oh?’ Skye looked up. ‘Did she ask about me?’

  ‘Yeah, but I don’t think you’re going to like what she told me.’

  ‘Why, what did she say?’

  ‘Something about a girl called Hayley. Do you know who she meant?’

  Skye nodded and waited for him to go on.

  ‘She reckons she talked to her in that chat room you two used to go on.’

  ‘WhisperBox,’ said Skye, praying that Jade hadn’t told Hayley that she was here, because Hayley might tell her parents, who would probably tell the police.

  ‘Yeah, I think that’s what she called it. Anyway, she said the girl was slagging you off; saying how she’s never really liked you, and only pretended to be your friend because she felt sorry for you.’

  Skye’s brow creased in disbelief. ‘She wouldn’t say that. She’s my best friend.’

  Tom shrugged. ‘Only telling you what Jade told me. And she’s got no reason to lie, has she?’

  ‘No, but …’ Skye trailed off and subconsciously touched her angel. She would never have dreamed that Hayley would turn on her like that. But as Tom had just said, why would Jade lie about it? It was Hayley who was jealous of Jade, not the other way round; and Jade had never tried to turn Skye against her before, so why would she start now?

  ‘I’m sorry, babes.’ Tom raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. ‘I hate seeing you upset, and I really wish I didn’t have to keep telling you all this stuff.’

  ‘It’s not your fault,’ Skye murmured. ‘You and Jade are the only ones I can trust.’

  ‘I’m glad you know that,’ Tom said quietly. ‘Because we’d have nothing if you didn’t trust me.’ He gazed at her for a few more seconds, then said decisively, ‘Right, enough of this. They can say what they want, but we’re not going to let them get to us any more. From now on, it’s just you and me against the world.’

  Skye smiled, but dropped it quickly when Tom pulled her to her feet and started leading her towards the door. ‘What about the shopping?’ she asked, guessing that he was heading for the bedroom. ‘I was supposed to be putting it away.’

  ‘It can wait,’ Tom said, gripping her hand firmly as he walked up the stairs.

  In the bedroom, Skye averted her gaze shyly when Tom stripped down to his underpants and climbed beneath the quilt. This would be the first time they had done it when she was stone-cold sober, and she was dreading it because she knew that it would hurt. But then, she supposed the pain was a small price to pay for the security and love that Tom was offering her. So, taking a deep breath, she undressed quickly and climbed in beside him.

  ‘Wait!’ she said, sitting back up quickly when Tom reached for her.

  ‘Why are you taking it off?’ he asked, watching as she unclipped the necklace.

  ‘Hayley gave it to me,’ she told him, pulling a face as she dropped it onto the bedside table. ‘But now I know what she really thinks of me, she can get stuffed. They all can.’

  Tom gave her a slow smile and pulled her into his arms.

  10

  ‘Mr Benson?’

  Jeff had been staring at the floor, but he jerked his head up when he heard his name being called, and rose quickly to his feet when he saw Barbara
, the housing officer who had been dealing with his application, gesturing for him to join her in the tiny interview room.

  He’d been seen fairly quickly when he arrived at lunchtime, but after getting him to fill out a raft of forms Barbara had told him to sit in the waiting room. It was now four p.m. and his back was aching from sitting around for so long. He just hoped she wasn’t going to tell him to sling his hook, because that really would piss him off.

  ‘Sorry for keeping you waiting,’ Barbara apologised. ‘We’re a bit short-staffed at the moment.’ She took her seat and linked her hands together on the desktop as she waited for Jeff to sit down across from her. ‘Right, we’ve looked into your application,’ she said then, ‘and I’m pleased to tell you that you’ve been accepted onto our list.’

  ‘Great. So what do I do now?’

  ‘Start bidding on properties. I’ll talk you through the process, and give you your ID number for logging onto the system. However, I do have to warn you that you may be waiting a while before you’re offered anything because you don’t have many points.’

  ‘But I’m homeless,’ Jeff reminded her.

  ‘I appreciate that,’ she conceded. ‘But we have a high demand for rehousing in this area, and a lot of our applicants are in greater need.’

  ‘How much more in need can you be than having nowhere to live?’

  ‘I can give you the numbers of some hostels,’ Barbara suggested. ‘But please let me know when you get a place so I can contact you if anything comes up.’

  Jeff stared at her in disbelief. ‘I’m not being funny, love, but I’ve been sat here all day. Surely you can do better than this?’

  ‘In all honesty, you’re lucky you’ve been accepted at all,’ Barbara informed him. ‘When people make themselves homeless, as you did by ignoring your landlord’s warnings about antisocial behaviour, we’re under no legal obligation to rehouse them.’

  ‘Hang on,’ Jeff cut in indignantly. ‘For a start, I did not make myself homeless, and there was no antisocial behaviour; the landlord was just looking for an excuse to kick us out.’

  ‘Which you provided.’

  ‘What, by getting myself stabbed?’

  ‘You’ve already told me you received two warnings prior to the eviction order being issued,’ Barbara reminded him. ‘And in my experience, the court wouldn’t have granted it unless your landlord had been able to provide sufficient proof to back up his claims.’

  ‘I don’t even know what he said to the court, ’cos he did it when I was in hospital,’ Jeff told her. ‘He could have said anything.’

  ‘That’s something you’d have to take up with him and the magistrate,’ said Barbara. ‘As I said, you’re lucky we’ve agreed to accept you. But as an adult with a regular wage and no dependants, you are not considered a priority.’

  ‘But I’m homeless!’ Jeff was starting to raise his voice. ‘And I have got dependants – my wife and daughter.’

  ‘One of whom, according to you, is currently in hospital, and the other in the care of Social Services.’

  ‘My wife could be out any day, and when my daughter’s found she’ll be coming back to me.’

  ‘If that happens, we’ll reassess your housing needs,’ Barbara assured him. ‘But there’s nothing to stop you from renting privately in the meantime.’

  Frustrated that she didn’t seem to have listened to a word he’d said when she had initially interviewed him, Jeff balled his hands into fists beneath the desk.

  ‘I’ve already told you I’ve been trying to do that, but there’s nothing going,’ he said through gritted teeth. ‘If there was, do you think I’d have bothered coming here?’

  ‘Mr Benson, you’re in full-time employment so you should have no problem getting a landlord to take you on,’ Barbara replied coolly. ‘The majority of our applicants are unemployed and don’t have that option.’

  ‘You mean scroungers?’ spat Jeff. ‘So I work my backside off and I’ve got to suffer, but they can sit on their arses all day popping out kid after kid and they get everything handed to them on a plate?’

  ‘I think we’re done here.’ Barbara stood up. ‘If you’d like to take a seat outside, I’ll get you those numbers.’

  Jeff wanted to tell her where to stick her numbers, but he held his tongue and made his way back out to the waiting room. It was a massive knock-back to be told that he wasn’t considered a priority despite being homeless, and he loathed the idea of having to move into a hostel. But it looked as if he didn’t have much choice. He’d rung every local letting agent and scoured the newspapers in search of a private place, and there was absolutely nothing going – at least, nothing that didn’t require a massive deposit that he had zero chance of getting his hands on any time soon. The council was his only hope, but now it looked as if he was going to be waiting a long, long time for them to come up with a place for him.

  Already thoroughly pissed off, Jeff was gutted when he walked out of the office a short time later and discovered that he was down to his last cigarette. No money, no smokes, no home – and if he didn’t get a move on, he’d miss his appointment with the GP and have no sick note to take into work.

  Sure that his day couldn’t possibly get any worse, he set off for the surgery.

  An hour later, tired, hungry, and desperate for another cigarette, Jeff walked through the gates of Ripley Autos and, nodding hello to the shirt-and-tie guys who worked in the showroom and were currently shadowing the lone customer who was strolling around the lot, made his way to the service station at the back.

  An Audi estate was up on the ramps, and Jeff saw that all three of his fellow grease-monkeys were working on it: Chris and Phil at the back tinkering with the exhaust, Des at the front with his head under the bonnet.

  Des glanced up when he heard Jeff’s footsteps, and flicked a hooded glance at the others before quietly asking, ‘What are you doing here?’

  Jeff sensed an atmosphere and frowned. ‘Yeah, I’m all right, thanks, mate. Nice to see you, too.’

  ‘You’d best go,’ Des urged in a whisper. But it was too late; the others had already seen Jeff and were walking towards him.

  ‘Didn’t think you’d have the nerve to show your face round here again,’ Phil said coldly, wiping his hands on a dirty rag.

  ‘What you on about?’ Jeff gave him a questioning look.

  ‘Don’t come the innocent,’ Chris chipped in angrily. ‘We know all about it.’

  ‘All about what?’ Jeff gazed from one to the other of them in confusion.

  ‘You know what gets to me?’ spat Phil. ‘All them times you’ve had us all feeling sorry for you, making out like your missus kicked you out for nowt when all along you’ve been beating the shit out of her. It’s no wonder she stabbed you.’

  ‘My missus would slit my fucking throat if I ever tried that crap on her,’ Chris joined in. ‘But I’d never do that, ’cos I’m not a lowlife piece of shit like you.’

  ‘Are you serious?’ Jeff stared at the pair in disbelief. ‘How long have you known me?’

  ‘Too fucking long, now we know what you’re really like.’ Phil stepped forward now and pressed his forehead against Jeff’s. ‘You’d best do one before we give you a taste of your own medicine,’ he snarled. ‘You might scare the shit out of your missus, but it ain’t gonna wash with us. Or do you only try it on with defenceless women?’

  ‘Back off!’ Furious that they had made up their minds about him without giving him a chance to explain, Jeff shoved Phil away roughly. ‘If you’re trying to wind me up, it’s worked,’ he snapped. ‘But you can fuck off if you think I’m letting you goad me into a scrap, ’cos you’ve got this dead wrong.’

  ‘You’re bound to say that,’ Chris said scathingly. ‘Hardly going to admit it, are you? Cunts like you never do.’

  ‘I’m saying it ’cos it’s true,’ Jeff retorted angrily. ‘You can believe what you want, but I’m no wife-beater – never have been, never will be.’

  ‘Not w
hat we heard,’ said Phil. ‘My wife’s mate lives on your road, and she reckons the police are at yours every other night ’cos of you knocking Andrea around.’

  Jeff turned to Des – the only one who hadn’t actually accused him of anything yet – and asked, ‘Do you believe this bullshit?’

  Des shrugged. ‘I don’t know what to think, mate. I wouldn’t have thought you was like that, but why would the lass say it if it wasn’t true?’

  ‘It’s your Skye I feel sorry for.’ Phil jumped back in. ‘The shit that poor kid must have had to live with, watching her dad beat up her mum. I swear to God, if there wasn’t a camera in here, I’d …’ He bared his teeth and, growling, smashed his fist into his palm.

  The door that led to the offices and showroom opened behind them just then and the owner’s son, Tony, strode in. A real gym-bunny, he looked like a typical nightclub bouncer – and had the temper to match the bruiser image.

  ‘I thought I heard your voice,’ he said, marching over to Jeff with a scowl on his face. ‘What do you want?’

  Jeff clenched his teeth when he heard the coldness of the man’s tone. Obviously the lads weren’t the only ones who had heard rumours and condemned him in his absence.

  ‘I brought my sick note,’ he said, pulling the slip out of his pocket. ‘Hey!’ he protested when Tony snatched it from him and ripped it in half. ‘You can’t do that.’

  ‘I just did,’ said Tony, giving him a fierce look. ‘You’re sacked. Now fuck off while you can still walk.’

  Out of the corner of his eye, Jeff could see Chris and Phil smirking and it infuriated him. ‘I’m not having this,’ he said angrily. ‘I’ve done fuck-all wrong, and you’re out of order for treating me like this.’

  ‘Are you fuckin’ deaf?’ Tony bellowed. ‘I said do one!’

  ‘You can’t sack me.’ Jeff stood his ground. ‘I’ve got rights.’

  Tony gave a sinister smile and stepped closer. Nose to nose now, he stared menacingly into Jeff’s eyes, and said, ‘So take me to a tribunal, you fuckin’ muppet. But I guarantee you won’t make it to court in one piece – if you make it there at all.’