After crossing the room, Mrs. Miller pulled out one of the sturdy black Windsor chairs next to him. Holding a piping hot mug of coffee in between her wide palms, she spoke. “Knowing Rebecca has been a joy for me. Not only is she a tremendous help with this old place, but she’s a wonderful-gut girl, Caleb. You are lucky to have her.”
Her frank words caused him to flinch. “I don’t ‘have’ her. I just like her.” A lot, he added silently. Caleb eyed the remaining portion of his cake. Only two, maybe three bites remained. With care, he speared a bite, hoping to make it last longer. After taking another sip of her coffee, Mrs. Miller got to her feet again. With a smile, she picked up his plate and carried it back to the counter. There, she cut off another sizable portion of cake, then brought it back to him, this time the bowl of cold whipped cream in her other hand. “Here you go, Caleb. I wasn’t sure how much whipped cream to put on your piece this time.”
“Any amount would do.”
“Yes, but you might as well have what you want, don’t you agree? It’s important for a man to know what he wants.”
He stilled, his finger tightening on the spoon in the whipped cream. “What I want isn’t the only thing that matters,” he said slowly, realizing they were now talking about so much more than just his appetite for desserts. “Sometimes it’s necessary to know what is right.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that.” She sat back down. “You see, when Rebecca started working here, not only was it a real blessing to me—the job was a blessing for her as well.”
For her? There was obviously a story there. Caleb ached to ask what it was but yet again fought off the urge to pry. Rebecca would tell him more when the time was right.
He had to believe that.
Luckily the back door opened and in came Rebecca, immediately brightening his world. Today she wore a teal dress and thick-soled black boots. The dress’s fabric brightened her skin and made her eyes seem even bluer than usual.
Without thinking, he got to his feet and walked to her. “Gut matin, Becca.”
As he’d hoped, her eyes glowed when they lit on him. “Hi, Caleb.” After smiling at him again, she turned to Mrs. Miller. “Gut matin, Mrs. Miller.”
Caleb noticed the woman didn’t get to her feet. Instead, she simply smiled fondly at Rebecca.
“Help yourself to some cake, dear. And I put out some orange slices for you, too.”
Rebecca approached the refrigerator as if the lady had hidden a secret treasure there. “Oh, look at those oranges. They look beautiful.”
“Eat them all, Rebecca. And Caleb will serve you cake.” She looked at Caleb meaningfully. “Right?”
“Sure. I’ll be happy to.” Now he was the one bustling around the kitchen, waiting on his girl. Rebecca sat down and ate one succulent slice of orange after the other, just like she’d never tasted anything so good.
Moments later, she took a bite of the cake, but it was obvious to even him that gingerbread cake wasn’t nearly as delicious to her as the succulent fruit.
When they were almost done, Mrs. Miller left the room, then returned with a large box filled with stacks of neatly wrapped braided bread. “Here you two go. I hope all your recipients will enjoy the bread.”
Rebecca got to her feet and carefully picked up one of the packages. “These look mighty fine. I’m sure they will be much appreciated.”
“As long as they are enjoyed, I will feel blessed. Truly, that is all that matters to me.”
“Where should we go next, Rebecca?” Caleb asked.
“To your house, I suppose. Anson is going to be accompanying us. Or have you forgotten?”
“I told him not to.” At her look of confusion, he added, “There’s no need for him to come. I promise you that.”
“I don’t mind if he joins us, Caleb,” she said softly.
“I do.”
“And why is that?”
“No particular reason,” he hedged.
“Hmm.” Her eyes twinkled. Making it so obvious that she was biting her tongue in order not to tease him anymore.
Caleb kept his mouth shut, too. He didn’t want to shock her with what was really on his mind. Because what he wanted to say was that he didn’t want to share her. When he was around Rebecca, he didn’t want there to be another person within a hundred feet of them.
He wanted to be the only person to hold her hand or to steady her elbow when they walked down stairs. He wanted to be the only person to wrap an arm around her shoulders.
Selfishly, he wanted all her words and smiles to be only for him. For the blush on her cheeks to be because of something he said.
But of course, none of that could be admitted. They were young. And he still got the sense that she was hiding something from him.
Therefore, he kept his answer easy. “Whatever you want, I will do,” he said.
And for that, he got his reward.
Rebecca smiled at him like he’d just raised the sun from the horizon and brightened her day.
By 5:30 that evening, Judith knew she was having a terribly hard time keeping her feelings in line. Never before had she been so aware of another person as she was with Ben Knox. No matter what he did or where he was, she sensed his presense. With Ben, it was as if she had some sixth sense where he was concerned.
Knowing that he looked just as aware of her should have given her some comfort. It didn’t. All it did was make her remember their differences. He had skipped school when she’d tried her best. Rumor had it that he’d done all kinds of sinful things during his rumspringa, whereas she’d told her parents she didn’t need any time to decide her future.
Now, though, when he looked at her through hooded eyes, she wished she’d had more experiences with boys and dating. Then she would be able to understand more of what his looks and words meant.
Lowering her eyelids, she snuck a peek at him through the corner of one eye.
When he noticed her gaze, he stilled. “Everything all right?”
As a matter of fact, it was not. Her stomach was in knots and it felt like monster butterflies had joined the knots, too. “Everything’s fine. Do you, ah, need some help?”
“Do I need help sweeping? I don’t think so.”
She wasn’t sure if he was teasing her or not. “I didn’t mean just sweeping. Do you need anything . . . ?”
“I don’t need a thing, Judith.” Looking at the floor, he began to sweep again.
Judith doubted he’d ever felt weak or unsure in his life.
As a thick lock of dark hair brushed his brow, she watched it sway against his skin—and was looking at him in a way that she hadn’t been able to stop doing for hours. It seemed no matter how busy she was, or how many customers she was serving, her attention always returned to him.
What was she going to do when he left after Christmas?
Well, at least she could ask him about that. “Ben?”
“Hmm?”
“Ben, after Christmas, what are you going to do?”
“Leave Sugarcreek. Well, I will as soon as someone buys the house.”
She closed her eyes, remembering the sign she’d seen in front of his home. “Then what will you do? Where will you go?”
“I’m not sure yet.”
Honestly, could he ever just give her information without her begging and prodding for it? “Will you visit family?”
A muscle in his jaw jumped. “No.”
“Then what—”
The door chime rang as a crowd of tourists burst inside. “Miss? Miss, can you help us?” one lady in a sweatshirt decorated with a large Santa Claus called out.
“Yes, of course,” Judith replied. “What can I help you with?”
“We need some baked goods. And Trail bologna.” One lady held out a list. “We need a lot of things. I’m giving an open house tomorrow and I’m hopelessly behind. I know you’re going to close soon, but if you could stay open just a little longer, you’ll save my life.”
“I’ll help you get everyth
ing.”
“And I’ll help, too,” Ben said as he walked to her side.
One of the younger women gazed at Ben like she’d caught the grand prize at a county fair. “If you could help me, I would be most grateful.”
“Lead the way,” he said with a smile.
Judith felt jealousy rise inside her. Embarrassed, she tamped it down. But still couldn’t help but keep an eye on him.
Probably because most of her brain seemed to be taking a vacation!
Over and again, she would hear his voice through the perimeter of her thoughts. Then, just like a wisp of smoke from a fire, little by little his words would drift toward her. Muddling and mingling with her thoughts. Those words would get in the way of the conversations she had with customers and with the train of her thoughts. As she’d hear his voice or his laugh, she’d still. And only think of him.
It was fairly disturbing.
What was she going to do when Ben was at her house, sleeping down the hall? Surely, she’d go crazy!
Since that wasn’t acceptable, she vowed to work extra hard to keep her feelings to herself. If her family ever caught sight of her gazing at him like she was doing at the store, they would never let her hear the end of it. And it would be no less than she deserved.
She’d been too reserved all her life.
To her shame, she’d even looked down upon others who wore their emotions for anyone to see.
She’d been disdainful of the way Caleb wore every emotion on his sleeve. Of Anson’s penchant for focusing on his wishes instead of his chores. To her shame, she’d even lost patience with Joshua a time or two. She’d thought his struggle over his future had been a bit silly, especially when it had been painfully obvious that Josh and Gretta were perfect for each other.
By 6:30, after Ben finally shooed the last of their customers out, her nerves felt like they’d been stretched so thin they were about to break and snap. Now she was going to have to suffer through two hours of being alone with him in the store? After, she was going to have to sit by his side in an enclosed buggy. There, in the closed confines, their cold breath would mingle and their bodies would brush against each other. Attempting to stay calm, cool, and collected seemed an insurmountable task.
As the ridiculous bird clock chirped above them, Judith felt her stomach knot.
And then Ben chuckled.
“What?”
“Sorry, did I startle you? Were you gathering wool?”
Well, she’d been gathering all her thoughts about him. Not that that was anything new. . .
Ben continued. “I was laughing at the man who just left. Can you believe that guy bought ten pounds of pecans and five baskets?”
Trying to recall what the man had looked like, though of course she couldn’t, Judith nodded weakly.
He grinned. “I never imagined nuts would make a gut gift, but he seemed right proud of himself. When he started talking about his favorite ways to eat them, I had to bite the inside of my mouth to keep from smiling.”
“I’ve given up trying to second-guess what people are interested in,” she agreed. “One thing is for sure, though, they’re likin’ everything we’ve got. I don’t remember a better December for sales.” Yes, this was the way to do it! She simply needed to keep the conversation only about business.
“What would you like me to do for you?”
He was standing so close she felt her breath catch. Forced herself to remember that Ben was talking about work. Not anything else.
“Maybe you could go around the aisles and pick up a bit. Also, please look and see if you notice anything that we’ve just about run out of. Later we can restock.”
“I can do that.”
Judith busied herself with counting money and receipts, trying not to be too hard on herself when she continued to count the same stack of dollar bills over and over again.
When Ben came back toward her, he carried a list in his right hand.
Unable to stop herself, she watched him approach. His shoulders were broad and, as usual, there wasn’t a bit of hesitancy in the way he moved.
Once again, she recalled gaping at him during their last year in school together. And remembered the way he’d raised a brow when he’d caught her doing so.
In a flash, the memories rushed back, just as if it had been yesterday. They’d been on the playground, and for once she was sitting by herself. He’d been bouncing a basketball on the blacktop . . . and she hadn’t been able to stop staring at him.
“Did no one ever teach you manners, Judith Graber?” he’d asked. She’d hated that she’d been so rude, and had hated even more that he’d noticed. “The last thing I need is a lesson in manners from you.”
“Doubt that.”
Her head had popped up. “Why?”
“Because every single time I turn around, I see you staring at me like I am stained,” he replied, his voice turning husky.
She’d felt her cheeks heating. “I don’t. I mean, I don’t think you’re stained.”
“I think you do.”
“Nee—”
Four steps brought him close. So close, he stopped a mere foot away from her. “I know what I see. I know what you see when you look at me. You know I’m not good enough.”
Her mouth had gone dry as she’d attempted to say the right words back. To tell him that though she was a little afraid of him, she’d thought that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as bad as they’d all thought.
Though the school yard was almost empty, she’d felt on display. And, like the silly girl she was, she’d started worrying more about what their teacher would think instead of focusing on Ben.
Who had been staring at her with his beautiful hazel eyes that were framed too well with dark eyelashes.
Who always smelled clean and masculine and wonderful.
Just as she continued to stand there, painfully awkward, he leaned close. So close, if she’d lifted her chin and swayed forward, their lips would meet. “Do ya want to know a secret, Judith?”
She hadn’t been able to help herself. She nodded.
Looking satisfied, he lowered his head slightly, so his lips brushed her ear. “I don’t mind. Feel free to stare at me all you want.”
She’d been so shocked, so embarrassed, her hands had curved into fists.
Then she’d turned and ran home. His deep laughter floating behind her.
Even when she remembered the scene now, Judith felt herself cringe. She’d been hopelessly naïve, and he’d used that innocence to his advantage. During their last months of school together, she’d avoided him as much as she could.
And when other boys had given her attention, she’d gone walking with them when they’d asked.
It was only late at night, when she couldn’t sleep, that she remembered just how much she’d once fancied Ben Knox. Before he’d embarrassed her.
And before she’d known better than to risk her heart on someone so outrageous. Someone so unsuitable for a goody-two-shoes like Judith Graber.
Chapter Eleven
Six Days Until Christmas
“We haven’t gone out to dinner in ages,” Lilly told Robert as she drove him down Main Street toward the Sugarcreek Inn. “I’m so excited.”
With what could only be described as exaggerated patience, her husband sighed. “Lilly, if you want to go out to eat more, you only have to ask.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Perhaps you do . . . sometimes?”
Well, she did, every now and then. Sometimes her feet and back hurt after waitressing for hours. On those days it was hard to find the energy to come home and spend more time in the kitchen.
Especially since no matter how hard she tried, the food she made wasn’t all that good. Correction. It wasn’t good at all. But none of those reasons were enough to stop trying. “I wouldn’t do that to you. I know you like to have supper waiting for you when you get home from the factory.”
“I like having you home,” he corrected gently. “That
is what is important to me. You’re who I look forward to seeing. Not a roast chicken.”
“I know that. I mean, so far I’ve managed to ruin every chicken dinner I attempted.”
“The last one wasn’t so bad.”
“It was far from good.” When she stopped at the stoplight, she glanced his way. Robert was obviously trying hard not to smile.
Which made her finally relax. When she thought of all the meals she’d made for him that had been barely edible, she began to giggle. “I’m afraid to bake fish again.”
“Perhaps that’s for the best . . .”
“But I do think my lasagna has improved. Slightly.”
“It has gotten much better, that is true. Still, we can go out to eat a little more often. Perhaps once a week?”
She would love that. But still . . . “I just don’t want you to change your life for me. Even though, you know, you already have.”
“You wouldn’t be doing anything to me. You’d be happy. And I like making you happy.” Gently, he looked her way and smiled. Looking down the street, his expression turned tense. “Of course, you didn’t have to choose this restaurant. We could have gone to Dutch Valley. Or maybe even Mexican food.”
“I wanted to come here.”
“Even though you work here?”
“Even though.”
Her heart skittered a bit as she felt the full force of his attention. Recently, he’d shaved his beard. Now he was as clean-shaven as any Englischer. The new look made him look younger.
And, perhaps, more a match to her?
Like a reoccurring dream, the old nerves and self-doubts grabbed ahold of her again. “Do you miss your beard?”
“Not at all. I like my cheeks smooth.” His hand went right to his chin. “What made you ask that?”
“I don’t know. I just thought that maybe you wanted to grow it again.”
“I don’t.” He smiled slightly. Then, right when she was at a traffic light, he leaned close and kissed her cheek. “I could have sworn my wife liked my smooth cheeks.”
Christmas in Sugarcreek Page 7