Christmas in Sugarcreek

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  “Mamm, I don’t understand what you want me to say?”

  Looking a bit impatient, her mother cast her a knowing look. “Don’t you have another reason to want him nearby?”

  “I do.” Gathering her courage, she said, “Even though it doesn’t make sense, I want him to come over because the day won’t seem right without him here. I like being around him.”

  The lines around her mother’s mouth eased. Just as if Judith was finally telling her what she’d wanted to hear. “Then tell him that.”

  “You think so? Truly?”

  “Definitely. The worst that could happen is that he still won’t want to come over.”

  No, the worst would be that he refused to see her again. But . . . wasn’t that what he was doing anyhow? Wasn’t he unwilling to see her now? And pushing away any plans to see her in the future?

  But what if things changed? What if Christmas Day wasn’t the end of their relationship . . . but merely the beginning?

  Excitement infused her as she imagined the possibilities of getting everything she wanted with Ben. “Mamm, do you think I should go over tomorrow and let him know?”

  “Not at all.”

  Disappointment flooded her. For a moment there, she’d been so sure her mother had understood. . .

  Beaming brightly, her mother added, “You should go right now. Go to the barn and ask your father or your brother or even Tim to go with you. Or even better, go next door and ask one of the Allens to drive you over.”

  “You don’t think they’d mind?”

  “It’s only four o’clock. If you promise to be quick I don’t think they’d mind at all. Besides, they’ll tell you if they do. Now go and ask. And when you see that man, talk some sense into Benjamin Knox.”

  “Do you think it will work?’

  “Judith, if I know anything, it’s that when you make your mind up, you can do anything you’d like. Now go, bring Ben home, and come back to work.” Smiling softly, she added, “Plus, tell Ben he’s going to have to peel potatoes.”

  “I thought Caleb—”

  “I think Caleb’s going to be too busy with his father to help in the kitchen,” she said with a twinkle in her eye.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ben was mighty proud of himself for not grabbing Judith the moment he saw her and holding her close. Instead, he clutched the frame of the front door and pretended her appearance hadn’t taken his breath away. “This is a surprise. Did you need something?”

  “I want you to come to our house for Christmas. Pack a bag and come with me.”

  She sounded so forceful, so sure of herself, he had to smile. “Just like that?”

  She looked over her shoulder a little circumspectly, then finally shrugged. “Pretty much.”

  When she looked over her shoulder again, he craned his neck to try to see what she was looking at. “How did you get here?”

  “My English neighbor. Charlie Allen. He lives next door. When I asked him if he could possibly run me over, he agreed.”

  “That was kind of him.”

  “It was.” She shifted, looking wary. “However, if you could hurry, I’d appreciate it. He’s got plans with his girlfriend.”

  So. Just hours after they’d agreed to not see each other, she had returned. With her English neighbor in tow. And once more, she was ordering him to get his things together. Because her neighbor had a date. “Judith, this . . . this action of yours has made it official: you’re crazy.”

  As he’d hoped, she looked peeved. “I most assuredly am not. I simply want you to change your mind. Quickly.”

  “And I told you that I wouldn’t come over. I gave you reasons. Now you show up, in your English neighbor’s car, and pretty much boss me around, telling me I should hurry. Because Charlie has plans.”

  “It’s not just like that. You know it.”

  “Where did I get things wrong?” He teased.

  “What you need to do, Ben Knox, is stop being so stubborn and face facts.”

  He leaned closer. Not only to press his point but to smell the fresh fragrance of her shampoo. “I need to stop being so stubborn?” Looking into her blue eyes, he thought about her character, about how hard she worked. How much she gave of herself to others.

  And how little he trusted others.

  “Judith, don’t you see? It doesn’t matter what you want . . . or what I want. This—this being together ain’t right. There’s no future in it.”

  Pain flashed in her eyes before she turned her back on him. His own pain mirrored hers as he realized he was about to get his way.

  Within seconds, she was going to leave.

  He was going to get his wish—to be stupid and alone on Christmas. He was pushing away the only opportunity he was going to have to get to be with her.

  Say something, his conscience urged. Or maybe it was the devil inside of him . . . pushing him to try to obtain something that wasn’t right? But would something of the devil make him feel so good as Judith did?

  “Judith,” he said. “Look. I’m sorry if I seem abrupt, but I’m only trying to do what is best for both of us.”

  To his amazement, she turned right back around and took two steps closer. “Is that what you’re doing?”

  He could no more prevent his hands from reaching for her waist than he could prevent Christmas from coming the next day. “I’m t-trying,” he sputtered.

  Of course, at the moment, he’d forgotten what he was trying to do. . .

  With a fierce look of determination, Judith stepped closer. She paused for a brief second, then pressed her hands to his shoulders and kissed him.

  Right there on his front stoop. With Charlie the Englischer looking on.

  Unable to help himself, he kissed her right back. He wasn’t all that book smart. He’d made more than his fair share of bad choices. But he wasn’t that big of a fool. Her lips were as soft as he’d imagined, her body as pliant and feminine in his arms as he’d dreamt it would be.

  One short, chaste kiss led to another. Slowly, the kisses melted into something his dreams had been made of. As his eyes drifted closed, all the pain from his past—and the worries about what could ever hope to be—slowly drifted away. All he could think about was her. Judith Graber.

  When she lifted her lips, her cheeks were flushed. Beautiful. But her eyes held a hundred doubts and more than a few regrets. “Ben, I’m so sorry. I don’t know why—”

  “Never apologize for that.” Instead of letting her worry more, he pulled her closer. Carefully lowered his head, and kissed her again.

  And yes . . . the moment was as sweet as it had been before. Time seemed to stand still. But all too soon he knew that they were getting carried away. When he broke away, he knew it was for the best.

  “Wait right here. Or go wait in the car,” he said. “It won’t take me five minutes to get my bag.”

  “You’re coming over. With me? Now?”

  “I had better, don’t you think? I mean, if I refuse you, there’s no telling who else you’re going to attack at their front doors?”

  “Attack?” While she sputtered, he ran to his room, suddenly feeling lighthearted and hopeful.

  After retrieving his bag, he saw that she was still standing in his doorway. She looked flushed and bright and embarrassed.

  “Ben, perhaps we should talk.”

  “Let’s not. Not yet, anyway.” He locked the door behind him, then walked to her side, smiling all the while. “We’ll talk more about this later, but please, don’t be embarrassed.”

  “Are you upset with me?”

  “Judith Graber, you’re the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Years ago, I wished we could be friends. And now here you are, seeking me out, asking me to spend Christmas with you? And kissing me? Holding me like I’m worthwhile? I feel like the luckiest man in the world.”

  “Truly?”

  “What am I going to do with you? Do you think I would have grabbed my bag if I’d been upset? You obviously need to b
e around me a whole lot more.”

  Tucking her chin, she smiled. When they got to her friend’s car, she introduced him to Charlie.

  “Good to meet you,” Ben said.

  After first giving a fond look to Judith, Charlie grinned. “I’m glad you made up your mind quickly. Ben, Merry Christmas.”

  “Merry Christmas to you.”

  As the Englischer pulled away from the curb, he chuckled under his breath. “Judith, just to let you know, Lilly owes me a buck.”

  “And why is that?”

  “She thought it would take you at least ten minutes to convince Ben here to come home with you.”

  “And how long did you guess?” she asked, her voice sharp, but Ben realized it did not sound upset.

  Charlie pointed to the clock in the middle of his truck’s dashboard. “Under five. Ben, she reeled you in in four minutes flat. It was impressive.”

  “I can be too pushy sometimes. Are you mad?” she whispered in Ben’s ear.

  “Me? Nee.” The guy’s humor was too infectious, Judith’s happiness was too transparent, and the sense of finally belonging was so right he couldn’t even pretend to be offended.

  “I think it’s funny. And, if you want to know the truth, I think I made the smartest decision I have in weeks.” And to his surprise, he meant every word.

  “Daed, can I tell ya something?” Caleb asked, as he helped his father clean out the stall.

  “You don’t have to ask. Ever.” Pulling out a rake, he began raking out fresh straw. “Son, you know you can always tell me whatever you want.”

  Automatically, Caleb claimed the rake and took over the job. “This—I mean, what’s on my mind—it’s a little different, though.”

  “How so?”

  “Well, it’s private. Really private. And personal.” Thinking about it, he amended his words. “I mean, it’s a secret. Of a sort.”

  Opening the stall door, his father gestured for Caleb to step out. He followed behind. “Son, you are not making a bit of sense. Stop beating around the bush and start talking.”

  Caleb sighed. His dad was right. “Here it is. If I tell you something, will you promise to hear me out before you get mad?

  “Well, now, I’m not rightly sure I can make that promise. It depends on what you have to tell me. Now, what is on your mind?”

  “Rebecca Yoder is on my mind. And her mother.”

  “What about them?”

  Looking into his father’s eyes, Caleb saw nothing but a gentle curiosity, framed with concern. That gave him the courage to tell the whole truth. “It turns out that Rebecca started that basket program because her family needed a charity basket. She didn’t know of another way to help her mamm. Mrs. Yoder is a proud woman.”

  “I have to admire that. Each of us is proud. It’s hard to accept things, especially if we don’t feel like we deserve them.”

  “They’re going through a really tough time, Daed. Mr. Yoder found work, but it’s up by Toledo. He can’t even afford to travel home for Christmas.”

  “And that’s why you want them to come over for Christmas?”

  “Partly.” Now that he’d begun telling the truth, Caleb decided to start sharing the rest of it, too. “The other part of the reason is that I just want to be around Rebecca. I like her a lot. I mean, I think I love her. No, I mean I know I love her. I mean, I do. A lot.”

  “She sounds like a wonderful girl.”

  “She is. But Daed, it’s like this. Rebecca feels like I wouldn’t want her now that I know they needed help. But that don’t worry me none. It’s not her fault.”

  “Many people are struggling now.”

  Caleb was so glad his daed understood. “I know! Nothing about that matters to me. But I still get the sense that she wishes things were different.”

  Instead of brushing off his worry, Caleb watched his father rock back slightly on his feet and think about that for a moment. Then he spoke. “Perhaps you don’t need to be worrying so much.”

  “Why not?”

  “It seems to me that God can do that worrying far better than you ever could. He will help Rebecca, Caleb. Don’t you doubt that. He’s with us always.”

  “You sure about that?”

  Instead of berating him for his lack of faith, his daed merely smiled. “I’m as sure about that as I’ve been about anything. I know He’s watching and helping us, Caleb.”

  With a wink, he pressed his gloved hand on his shoulder. “Especially on Christmas Day.”

  His father’s words were full of wisdom. And, he noticed, not very negative. “Daed, you’re not worried about me being too young, are you?”

  “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about your age, but I also have a feeling my concerns are out of my hands. You’ve grown up a lot, and now have a good job at the brickyard. When the time is right for you and Rebecca, I have a feeling your mother and I will find the time to be just right, too.”

  Tears pricked Caleb’s eyes and he blinked them fast so his father wouldn’t see. For his daed to have such confidence in him was a blessing. And wonderful.

  At the moment, he felt like he’d been given his father’s complete trust—and that felt like one of the most wonderful gifts he’d ever received.

  Chapter Twenty

  Christmas Day

  Lilly was still in her pajamas at ten A.M. “I feel so lazy, Robert,” she proclaimed even as she stretched her legs farther under the quilt on the couch.

  “You shouldn’t,” he replied over his second cup of coffee. As he stretched out beside her, he continued. “I’m glad you are taking care of yourself. It is snowing outside and we are cozy in here together. There’s no reason for you to worry about getting dressed.”

  “Maybe. Or maybe not . . .” All morning, everything had been perfect. Robert had gotten up and made coffee, then brought her a cup to sip while she was still nestled inside a snug bed of flannel sheets.

  Later, she’d made them breakfast and they’d sat in front of the back window of his house and watched the snow fall. When a pair of deer wandered near, nosing the blanketed bushes and shrubs circling the yard, there didn’t seem to be a better activity than watching them.

  Now they were sitting in the living room. “Are you ready to open presents?” she asked.

  “I am. I wondered when you were going to be ready to open gifts.”

  “I’ve been so excited, I didn’t want to rush things. But now I don’t think I can wait any longer.”

  “Then, let’s do it. You first.”

  “Okay. Scampering to the hall closet, she pulled down the pretty gold-wrapped box. “Here you go, Robert.”

  He looked up at her and smiled. “I have to admit to being very curious about this gift. All month you’ve looked like you lost your best friend.”

  “I wanted to get you something special and nothing seemed good enough. Until this.”

  “You do realize I meant what I said, yes? I really do feel like I have the best Christmas gift of all. You.”

  That was Robert. So serious. So sincere. “I know what you said. And I’m grateful for you. And I feel the same way, too. Of course. But there’s only one first Christmas you know.” She placed the box in his lap, then scampered on the couch next to him. “Open it.”

  Obediently, he began pulling off the gold bow, then wrapping paper. He paused when he noticed the name on the outside of the box. “Lilly?”

  She’d never been so proud. “Open it.”

  Slowly, he opened the lid. Then he stared in surprise. “It’s a watch.”

  “Yes. As soon as you said yours got crushed, I knew I wanted to give you something special, something you could give your son . . . if God one day blesses us with one. Do you like it?”

  He carefully removed it from the case and held it up by its bracelet. “It’s very fine.”

  Very fine? “It’s stainless steel. And waterproof. And the jeweler said it has a lifetime warranty. If it breaks, they’ll repair it for free.”


  His white teeth flashed as he smiled her way, then awkwardly unclasped it. Slid it on his left wrist.

  Unable to stop herself, she grabbed hold of his wrist and helped him clasp it. “Hey, it looks like it fits just fine. I was worried it might be too small.”

  “Too small?”

  “You’ve got big wrists.”

  Staring at his wrist, he said, “This watch, it’s going to take some getting used to.”

  Her heart sank. “Do you not like it? Is it too much of a difference from your pocket watch? I guess I was only thinking about what you can do now, not what you wanted.”

  “Because I’m Mennonite now?”

  Did he sound bitter? “Yes,” she mumbled. “You’ve been enjoying jeans so much, I started thinking a watch would be a good thing. But don’t worry. We can return it.”

  “I’m not going to return it.” Moving close, he pressed his lips to her brow. “I love it. It is truly special.”

  She heaved a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank goodness. I’m so glad you like it! I’ve been so worried.”

  “It looks terribly expensive.”

  She didn’t know how to respond to that. It had been expensive. Was Robert worried she’d taken money from their savings account? “Don’t worry, I was able to pay for it from some of my own money.”

  “From some of your own?”

  If anything, he looked even more worried.

  “Robert, please, do you like it?”

  After taking another long look at his wrist, he linked his fingers around one of hers and pulled her close to him. “Very much so. It is a wonderful-gut Christmas gift, Lilly.”

  She sighed in relief. “I’m so glad.”

  “So are you ready for your turn now?”

  “Yes.”

  “I think we should draw this out a bit.”

  “Why? I’ve been wondering all month what you’ve been making for me.” She knew she was as antsy as a child but she really was excited. “Go get it.”

  He laughed. “Why don’t you put some of your Christmas music on? I’ve started to like some of the pretty songs, like ‘Silent Night.’ ”

  It was as if a heavy shutter had just landed on her insides. Just like that, she felt her excitement deflate. “There’s no need.”