by Amade, Melle
I focus on the words.
“Hud feroaring ontstaan.”
Repeated over and over again. I open my mouth and push the strange sounds out. The second I utter the words the flames flare, leap, and dance to the incantation.
“Hud feroaring ontstaan. Hud feroaring ontstaan.”
Zaragoza lifts the knife from the table and before I realize what’s happening he’s cut Roman’s finger. He moves around the circle cutting Zan’s, Aiden’s and then his own finger.
They all step forward to the fire, extend their cut fingers, and squeeze drops of blood into the flames. And, darkness rises in me, clutches at my insides. A raging animal tears at my skin from within, clawing to get out.
Ice crackles down my face, trying to numb me and let the beast take over.
The chant grows louder, but I don’t think it’s their voices. It’s like the cave has come alive and echoes the words back to us. Zaragoza steps in front of me and grabs my hand. I extend my finger.
The blade glows orange as it presses hot and sharp against my skin. I jerk my hand back.
But, Zaragoza holds my hand firm. The blade breaks through my flesh, pain sears up my arm.
Oh God, I like it!
The demon that grapples inside me rushes towards the wound, pumps down my arm and pushes through the gap in my skin. I gasp. Blood rushes to the surface. It surges like a flood, but just a few drops escape.
“The world is not as it seems.” The words of the chant are suddenly clear to me.
My arm moves forward into the flames. The heat rises up to lick my fingers. I love the power surging through me as blood drips from my cut skin. Euphoria envelopes my body as the blood falls. It sizzles as it burns.
Searing heat shoots up my spine and presses against the glacial ice of my head.
I gasp for air as my body seizes forward.
But, Aiden catches me seconds before I hit the fire. My body is cold. A draft massages my back as Zaragoza moves behind me and lifts my shirt. I want to pull away, but I can’t. I can’t move, my body is stiff; frozen. In the shadows I sense Zan and Roman move in behind Zaragoza. Something cold and wet touches a single point against my spine at the small of my back. It’s cool like an anesthetic. My body shudders. It’s Zaragoza’s bloody finger.
Roman and Zan are next. They place their fingers in the same place Zaragoza did. Energy surges through my body. It wipes out all traces of thought. An electric force pushes through me, collapsing my body. But, I lean forward against Aiden; our chests pressed together, my face turned into the warm flesh of his neck. My mouth is open as I gasp for breath. Roman and Zaragoza return to their places in the circle.
I want to puke. My guts are ripped out and thrown in the fire.
A moan escapes my lips.
“It’s time for the Heir,” Zaragoza breathes.
Zan reaches out to support me and frees up one of Aiden’s hands. He reaches around my back and presses it with his bleeding finger. The blistering force erupts from my stomach and skyrockets out of me, bursting through the ice. I go with it. I dissolve and erupt upwards into energy like nothing I have ever felt before.
The ice will never touch me again.
I’m lightening.
“Oh, no...” Zan’s voice echoes through the cave.
“No…” murmurs Aiden.
I look down and they’re all looking up at me… frowning?
But, I’m above them!
My vision has changed. Every detail is clear. Tiny beads of sweat glisten on Aiden’s forehead. The most imperceptible movement of Roman’s mouth as the corners turn down in- distaste?
They stare up at me in silence. Flames crackle. I don’t float above them, I’m transformed.
I am flying!
20
The world spins around and around as I plummet to the earth. I flail my wings out and flap them around but I have no idea what to do. I’m not flying; I’m falling. I squeeze my eyes shut as the earth races towards me. I don’t even know if birds can throw up, but my stomach lurches in my mouth. I’m about to crash.
But, I don’t.
I make a soft, cushioned thud as I land in the cupped embrace of someone’s hands. I’m twisted up, feet in the air, wings awkward and wild. I flip and flop trying to get my wings around me. It’s uncomfortably brilliant.
I’m a bird!
I’m a shifter!
And, I guess, I’m white.
My right wing is folded at my side but something pulls on my left wing. A feather is stuck between the fingers of the person who caught me. I yank and pull. It’s annoying. Why don’t they loosen their fingers? My neck is long and twists my head around at the most bizarre angle. Aiden’s face looks huge from here; huge and handsome. But, his expression stops me cold. His eyes are as black as a tornado whipping the sky.
I have never, in all the years I’ve known him, seen his face boil with anger; nostrils flaring, lips compressing. But, the anger isn’t what fills me with dread, it’s the slight wrinkle in the corner of his nose. His face is lined with disgust!
I yank my wing out from between his fingers and I must have put too much pressure on his hand with my talons because he yelps and flings me into the air. I beat my wings as hard as I can, to figure out this flying thing.
But, crap, it doesn’t work. I strain my long neck upward. My body is so light and my wings so long. This should work! I slap my wings as hard as I can against the air. This is what a bird is designed for, isn’t it? Shouldn’t I be able to do this? My body dips downwards, but it doesn’t fall. I open my beak to take in massive gulps of air. It sticks out of my face so far and drags my eyes crossways. I need a better focal point. I spot a stalagmite that hangs high from the other side of the cave.
My wings slow down a little bit and I settle into a steady rhythm. The air ruffles my feathers, which titillate my skin. The sensation vibrates through my nerves and across every part of me, inside and out. Never in my life have I felt so alive! Ripples and ripples of joy pass over me.
I’m at the stalagmite!
I’m light and fast. Twisting my beak in a different direction and my body follows.
Ha! I can turn!
Focus… Cautious and steady, I practice some gentle turns; nothing crazy, simple movements.
I move into a patch of moonlight that slips through the hole in the cave roof. I know not to look down, that’s what got me spinning head over heels before, but, I can look up just fine. My beak targets the moon.
I burst through the large hole and in one beat of my wings, I’m free! I want to laugh and yell and cry all at the same time. Scream to the world I’m a bird and I can fly! I open my beak, but there’s no shriek of joy; there’s not even a bird song. All I hear is a loud coo rumble up from the deepest part of my chest.
The hills below are dark with pockets of lights that show me where all the clusters of houses are. I thought I knew Topanga like the back of my hand, but I’ve never seen it from this angle. I have no idea where I am or where my house is, but the cool ocean breezes brush against me and lift me up. My heart flails in my chest.
Boundless freedom stretches all around me. For a second I consider a loop de loop, but I don’t dare. If I fall out here, no one will be there to catch me. I stretch my wings out, tilt one down and glide in a smooth circle. It’s so good, I do it again.
There’s a shadow flying towards me against the dark sky. What if it’s Callum? I’m out here alone in my brand new world. I don’t know their rules. The dark shadow bears down on me. I strain my eyes and in a shaft of pale moonlight there’s a golden feather.
It’s Aiden.
I fly towards him. Maybe he can teach me some moves.
He flies at me super-fast, head low, beak open and wings bashing against the air. I slow down. But, he doesn’t. He’s twenty feet away when I realize he won’t slow down at all.
An angry yellow blaze erupts in his eyes. His beak isn’t open to greet me, it’s open to attack.
I pause for a sp
lit second, hovering in the air. My wings seem to beat in slow motion.
I have to be wrong. Aiden would never attack me.
Would he?
He lets out a loud, shriek. It startles me into movement. I duck my head and angle down but it’s too little, too late. I can barely fly, much less compete in aerial combat.
He clashes against me, his beak driving into my neck. I want to scream in pain but the sound that comes out is a choked cry. With expert swiftness his body swings around and his talons tear into my back and his whole weight bears down on me.
I want to fight against him, push him off me, flip, somersault, dive… anything to stop the agony ripping through my back and neck. But, there’s nothing I can do. His talons and beak grip into me, pushing me down. Once he is sure of his grip on my back, he raises his head in a triumphant shriek that curdles my blood and makes me want to spit in his face.
But, there’s nothing I can do. I’m overwhelmed by the throbbing that overtakes my new body. Aiden takes no notice. He angles us downwards and we drop in a steep descent straight at the black earth. I leave my stomach somewhere behind me as the wind rips at my feathers and I squeeze my eyelids shut.
The roar of the wind stops as we plummet through the opening of the cave and my body slams to the earth. The impact throws off my shifter body and I lie there with Aiden’s legs wrapped around my waist and the vice-like grip of his hands pinning me down.
I struggle to breathe and push him off. My eyes bulge out of my head. My heart screams in my throat. No air can get in.
His eyes are dark slits of raging storms. If I don’t get out from under him, I’ll suffocate.
My arms strike at his body, but they tingle as my vital organs eat up the oxygen left in my system. Spots dance in front of my eyes as my vision blurs.
“Get off her!” Zan’s scream pushes through the darkness that drapes around me.
“Get off her!” Roman’s roar cuts through my pain and Aiden is ripped away. I’m free and rolling over, scrambling away on my knees, gasping for air.
“You saw what she is,” Aiden hisses, but, by the way he looks at me, he’s confused.
“It’s Shae.” Tension rips at Roman’s voice.
“I know,” Aiden grimaces. “That’s why I brought her in.”
“The first in two hundred years.” Zaragoza’s hand worries his clutch of sticks. He turns to Aiden. “You’re the Heir. It’s your responsibility to kill her.” His tone is matter of fact.
“Kill me?” I ask. “He can’t kill me! I’m a shifter! You told me if I was a shifter everything would be fine!”
Roman sits down beside me and slips his arm around me but it doesn’t calm the rising hysteria. I push his arm off and stand up. I join Aiden by the fireside.
“You can’t kill me. I’m a shifter!”
His mouth is a thin line. His jaw is rigid. “You are a Passief, Shae.” He grinds the words out. “I’m sworn to kill you.” He motions to the others. “We all are.”
Zan grips Aiden’s arm, but she looks at me. “You’re supposed to be extinct.”
“Well, I’m not.” My blood flushes through my skin. My temperature drops as my body wants to shift. Fight or flight… either way it will be easier as a bird.
“Don’t do it.” Roman tightens his arm around my shoulders.
“I’m supposed to stay here and let you kill me?” I try to pull away.
“We won’t kill you.” Roman glares at Aiden.
“He just tried to!” My voice breaks.
“I brought you in so the Ravensgaard won’t see you,” Aiden says.
“It’s your responsibility to kill her,” repeats Zaragoza. Aiden tenses.
I turn to Roman. “I have to get out of here.”
“You can’t.” Roman looks forlorn. “It’s not safe.”
“It’s not safe in here, either!” I say as Aiden comes towards me.
“You are.” Zan steps in front of him.
Aiden pushes Zan out of the way and continues towards me. She reaches out to grab him but he’s too fast. Roman steps in front of me but Aiden brushes him aside as well.
My body temperature drops about twenty degrees as every cell in my body yearns to shift, to transform and get away from him. But, I know it’s no use. Even as a bird, I can’t escape him. I barely know how to fly.
A growl that sounds more like a laugh escapes Zaragoza as Aiden looms above me, glaring down, his hands reaching towards me.
My body stiffens as I stare up at him. Fear chews on my heart.
“Get away from me,” I say.
“Stop it, Aiden!” Zan pulls Aiden back from me. “You are not going to kill Shae.” She whirls on Zaragoza. “None of us are. I don’t care what you think his responsibilities are. We are not people who go around killing our friends.”
Aiden’s head drops into his hands. His fingers tighten, pulling at his hair.
Zaragoza’s laughter echoes off the side of the cavern as he slowly plods towards us, twisting his clutch of sticks between his fingers. “Very well, Heir,” he nods. “Good.”
“Good?” Aiden’s voice is tortured.
“You have made your intentions clear,” Zaragoza nods. “Now, we must decide what we shall do about it.”
Aiden slides off into the dark towards Zaragoza and the outskirts of the cave, as far away from me as possible. Words fly between them, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t make out what they’re saying.
“Don’t worry.” Zan waves it off. “You know he’s loyal to a fault.”
“Yeah, but will he choose family or friendship?” I mutter.
“He won’t hurt you,” she says. “Listen, he loves you, Shae.”
“What?” My breath catches in my throat.
“You’re one of his best friends.” She smiles and bumps her shoulder against mine. “The five musketeers, remember?”
“Right,” I say. But, Callum’s betrayed us. Why won’t Aiden?
“Aiden and Zaragoza will protect you,” Zan continues. “They just have to figure out how.”
“We have to get her out of Topanga,” Roman butts in.
“Topanga?” Zan scoffs. “We have to get her out of the states.”
“Leave America?” I ask.
“There are too many shifters here,” Zan explains.
“You have to get off the grid,” Roman nods.
“I can’t leave.” My voice echoes in the cavern. “What - what about Henry?”
Roman and Zan exchange a look. “Good point,” Roman says. “We should test his blood.”
“Henry’s?” I ask.
“If you’re a Passief, there’s a good chance he might be one, too,” says Zan. Her hands worry my wrist back and forth like it’s her own.
“That means he won’t be safe here either,” agrees Roman.
“But, Aiden said he won’t kill me.” I glance into the shadows where Zaragoza and Aiden huddle together talking in low whispers.
“Look, Shae, if there were some other solution, you know we would take it,” says Roman. “But, there’s no way we can hide you’re a shifter.”
“A Passief,” adds Zan.
“I can’t disappear. My mom… Dad…” My voice cracks. “Are they -?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Zan says. “Even if they carry the blood, it doesn’t matter. It’s too late. They are too old for the Bloedhart, so they will never shift. They will be safe here.”
“But, I’m not…” I say.
“In the past week you’ve been stalked by ravens, chased by mountain lions, and publicly ridiculed,” Zan says. “And they don’t even know you’re a Passief.”
“Why would you want to stay?” asks Roman
“Why would I want to stay?”
“He didn’t mean it like that,” Zan says.
“We love you,” says Roman.
“Thanks for the favor,” bitterness is sour in my mouth.
“We’re going against the Order,” Zan insists. “It’s a death sentence.
”
My heart plummets out of my chest and down to my guts. The future feels like a lonely black horizon of isolation with the possible addition of having to protect my younger brother from murderous shifters. “I’m sorry, Zan,” I say. “My friends tell me they’re doing me a favor by not killing me, but if I leave forever, we’ll all be better off. Do you have any idea how it feels, Zan? No. Sorry, I don’t give a damn about your shifter vows.”
Her lips pull back and her nostrils flare as a growl comes up from deep insider her. I don’t care. My talons push out from my fingertips. She growls. A strange bird shriek rises from my throat as we circle each other.
“Stop it.” Zaragoza’s voice echoes across the cave. “There is too much at stake to argue. You will all sleep here tonight. Strong magic protects the Bloedhart cave from everything. Neither Ravensgaard nor mountain lion nor human will find you here. You will rest undisturbed. I will return in the morning.” He glances at Aiden, who nods.
“What did you just agree, too?” I ask.
“We are trying to find a path forward,” Aiden says. “Now you need to rest.”
“So I can stay?” I ask. “In Topanga?”
Aiden looks down and shakes his head. “That’s just not possible, Shae,” he says. “At best, just for a few days. Zaragoza is going to see if he can find a place for you to go.”
“Do not panic, Dove. We are with you.” Zaragoza disappears into the tunnel.
“I don’t trust him,” I say. I don’t tell them how, deep down, I don’t trust any of them.
Roman looks a bit dubious. “He’s a badger,” Zan interjects, “and a Warlock. They’re different, but -”
“He’ll turn me in,” I say.
“No,” Aiden disagrees. “You have to understand; he hates the Order.”
I’m not convinced. The last thing I want to do is be in this cave when Zaragoza comes back in the morning. If I’m going to disappear and leave my friends and parents, I’ll do it on my own. I glance up at the hole in the cathedral ceiling. Once they are asleep, I’ll shift and make my escape.