Love and Marriage

by Alexandra Ivy

  Only the knowledge that he was one of the few present who was genuinely dedicated to saving lives kept him from storming out in disgust.

  Arriving home, Adam removed his hat and gloves, at the same time warning the footman he would return to the office within the hour. Then, making his way down the hall, he entered the library.

  He had reached the center of the room before he belatedly realized he was not alone. Narrowing his gaze, he studied the sweetly curved form of his wife snuggled in a wing chair.

  She looked all of twelve with her hair floating about her shoulders and her features relaxed in sleep, he thought, as he changed directions to stand before the chair. Then the flickering firelight captured the delectable curve of her breast that was revealed by the gaping robe and he rapidly revised his bemused thoughts.

  No, this was no child.

  She was a beautiful temptress who was nearly driving him mad with longing.

  His body clenched with need even as he sternly reminded himself this was no time to lust after his wife.

  Not when a room filled with powerful gentleman awaited his return.

  Reaching out he stroked his hand over the satin darkness of her hair.

  “Addy?”

  “Mmm?”

  He gave a soft chuckle. “Addy, wake up.”

  With obvious reluctance her eyes slowly opened and she regarded him with dazed confusion.

  “Adam. What is it?”

  “You seem to have fallen asleep in the library.”

  “Oh.” Giving a faint shake of her head, Addy straightened in the chair. “Yes.”

  “Is there something wrong with your bedchamber?” he asked with a teasing smile.

  She regarded him blankly. “No.”

  “Well, you appear to be spending a great deal of time sleeping in the library lately.”

  “Oh ... yes.” She raised a hand to push back her heavy curls. Flushed with sleep and barely dressed, she had never appeared so tempting. Adam felt a fierce tug deep inside him. “I wished to speak with you.”

  Adam raised his brows in surprise. “Tonight?”

  “Yes.”

  He heaved a rueful smile. It seemed that fate was determined to keep the two of them at odds.

  “Forgive me, Addy, but I have only returned to retrieve some papers I had forgotten. I must leave quite soon.”

  “At this hour?”

  “Yes, we must send out the new dispatches tomorrow.”

  There was no mistaking the ripple of disappointment that crossed her countenance.

  “I see.”

  “Do you?” Running a weary hand through his hair he gazed down at her shadowed eyes. How could he make her comprehend his clear if overwhelming duty? “Addy, there are thousands of young soldiers who are risking their lives every day. Each decision I make, each order that is dispatched has the potential to bring England glory or destroy the lives of hundreds. It is not a responsibility I can take lightly.”

  She appeared startled by his abrupt confession. “No, of course not.”

  “It is not easy.” He grimaced. “Indeed, it is damnably frustrating.”

  “Frustrating?”

  “I suppose the best way to explain it is to say that it is like playing a game of chess without being allowed to see the board,” he admitted slowly, unaccustomed to discussing his efforts. “Strategy depends first and foremost on precise information. You must know the terrain, the weather, the estates or towns that can be depended upon to provide supplies, and of course, the precise location of the movement of the opposing forces.”

  She considered his words before giving a slow shake of her head.

  “I had not realized that it was so terribly complicated.”

  “Not really complicated,” he denied, “but it does involve a combination of information. Unfortunately it is impossible to maintain an adequate communication with our troops and the reports we receive are weeks out of date. Even worse, our maps are sadly lacking in the detail that I need. Even the most mundane hill or copse of trees can alter the battle.”

  Amazingly her expression softened to one of open sympathy. “I begin to realize the source of your frustration.”

  “I have not even mentioned the constant state of unrest in Spain; with no true leader and the generals compelled to protect their individual provinces, there can be no dependable force to aid our soldiers.”

  With a graceful motion Addy rose to her feet and placed a hand upon his arm.

  “I am certain that you do your best, Adam,” she said with a soft sincerity. “It is all that anyone can ask of you.”

  Profoundly aware of the heat and scent of her wrapping about him, Adam struggled to keep his hands at his side.

  He dare not touch her.

  Not now.

  Not until he had hours, perhaps days to explore those lush curves with the exquisite care they deserved.

  Gads, he wondered if he would have to request his valet to keep his hands tied behind his back! It seemed the only certain means of controlling his aching need.

  “Forgive me, Addy. I did not mean to bore you with my complaints,” he forced himself to speak, sternly forbidding his gaze to stray toward the bewitching neckline of her robe.

  “I am not bored,” she said with a startling insistence. “I wish you would have spoken of this sooner. I did not fully comprehend the vast responsibility you must bear.”

  He gave an uncomfortable shrug, hoping he had not painted himself as a hero. It was the men fighting the battles who deserved such a title.

  “I am only one of many.”

  “Still, it must weigh heavily upon you.”

  “Yes, it does,” he admitted lowly. “I can not help but attempt to second-guess our every decision. There are even times when I have debated traveling to the Continent so I can view the terrain for myself.”

  “No!” She denied in a sharp tone, startling them both with her ferocity. Then, clearly embarrassed by her emotional response, she gave a restless shrug. “I mean, I am certain you are more valuable here. There are many who can send the information to London. There are only a few who are so well versed in war strategies.”

  Adam gazed deep into the wide, midnight eyes, feeling a sudden surge of hope. Until this moment he would have presumed that Addy would be delighted to be rid of her tedious husband. Her fierce response was enough to fill his heart with warmth.

  It was something to build upon, he assured himself.

  “That is what the Prince tells me,” he said with a slow smile. “That does not make it easier to remain so far from those who are sacrificing so much for their country.”

  “I suppose we must all contribute in the best way that we can,” she said firmly.

  Despite his best intentions, his hand rose to lightly brush her cheek.

  “So wise, my dear.”

  A pained expression darkened her countenance. “No, not wise.”

  He determinedly tilted her chin upward to regard her pale features. “What is it?”

  “I have been very selfish.”

  His brows snapped together. “Absurd.”

  “No, it is true,” she insisted. “When you were gone so much I only considered the notion you preferred to be away from me. I did not take the time to realize there are so many who depend upon you.”

  It was precisely what Adam desired. At last it appeared Addy was willing to consider the obligation he felt toward the war. At the same time he could not allow her to shoulder the full blame.

  He should have discussed his deep sense of duty. And of course, he should never have allowed himself to become so consumed with his work that Addy felt abandoned in the first place.

  “You are not selfish, Addy,” he assured her. “I have neglected you shamelessly. But after tomorrow I will be free once again to devote myself to you.”

  “No, you must concentrate on your duties.”

  He gave a shake of his head. “I will not forget my duties, but there is more to life than war. I have forgo
tten that for too long.”

  Silence descended, broken only by the crackle of the fire as she simply gazed at him. With a soft sigh Adam slid his arms about her and drew her close.

  Damnation, holding her close felt so good, he thought with a sense of wonderment.

  Indeed, he rather astonishingly realized that he could spend the rest of the evening simply holding her.

  Laying her head against his shoulder, Addy gently cleared her throat.

  “Adam?”

  “Mmm?”

  “Were you not leaving?”

  He buried his face in the fragrant softness of her hair.

  “In a moment.”

  “Adam?”

  “You feel so good in my arms,” he muttered.

  “I do?”

  She sounded absurdly surprised and he tightened his arms.

  “Perfect. So sweet and soft. Gads, I could hold you like this forever.”

  There was another blissful silence before Addy lifted her head.

  “Adam, you must go.”

  “Soon.” He pressed her head back to his shoulder. “Soon.”

  Chapter Ten

  The house was blissfully quiet.

  With a significant tingle of anticipation, Adam folded his cravat into a neat knot.

  The past week had been a delight. As he had promised Addy he had devoted little attention to the war efforts and instead concentrated his mind on his bride.

  There had been walks in the park, nights at the theater, and one memorable musicale that had forced both Addy and Adam to flee the room before they erupted into whoops of laughter.

  A delicate, precious bond had begun to develop over the days, but tonight was the first night that he and his wife would be completely alone.

  An unconscious smile touched his lips as he recalled his inner elation when Humbly had casually announced his invitation to the Bishop’s. At long last he would have an entire evening with Addy. An evening that he very much intended her to recall for the rest of her life.

  Already his blood ran hot with suppressed desire. For the past week he had been forced to content himself with lingering touches and snatched kisses. With Humbly always hovering nearby it had been impossible to maneuver Addy alone.

  But tonight . . .

  His fingers fumbled slightly—with an eager motion his valet moved forward to offer his assistance.

  “If I may suggest, sir . . .”

  “No.” With a smile, Adam halted the outstretched hands. “No Oriental. No Cascade. No Mailcoach. I will not appear the buffoon even for you, Dobson.”

  With obvious reluctance the valet stepped back. “Very well.”

  With an apologetic glance at his servant Adam returned to his efforts.

  “Yes, I know I am the greatest trial. You must admit, however, that I have never requested you to gloss my boots with some ridiculous concoction nor forced you to pad my coats or bind me with corsets.”

  “I should think not,” Dobson retorted with loyal outrage. “Your form is the envy of every gentleman in London.”

  “Hardly that,” Adam denied, all too aware he was not the sort to strike envy in the heart of anyone. “But I do draw the line at primping like a dashed fop. You must content yourself with the knowledge I am a dull gentleman with no ambition to join the ranks of the dandies.”

  “I thank God every night you are not so inclined, sir,” Dobson was swift to reassure him, then he gently cleared his throat. “But I did sense that you wished to appear at your best this evening.”

  Startled by his servant’s perception Adam abruptly swung about to face him.

  “Why the devil would you think such a thing?” 9

  “Well . . .” Reddening slightly, Dobson glanced toward the bed covered with the numerous coats that Adam had discarded before settling upon a deep cinnamon coat with a striped waistcoat.

  Adam grimaced at his unusual bout of vanity. “You have made your point. I am behaving like the veriest coxcomb. Rather ridiculous considering that I am merely spending an evening at home with my wife.”

  Dobson offered a faint smile. “What more important occasion is there?”

  A delicious shiver raced through his body at the thought of the evening ahead.

  “Ah, very true, Dobson. Gads, it has been too long since I have managed to have Mrs. Drake to myself.”

  “It is always awkward to have a guest constantly underfoot,” the valet readily agreed.

  Adam felt a swift stab of guilt at his unkindly desire for Humbly to disappear. Goodness knew that before his arrival an evening alone with Addy would have been a stiff, formal affair. Certainly he would not have been anticipating the thought of his wife happily chatting about their day together over dinner or counting the moments until he could gather her in his arms and kiss her senseless.

  “Not that I grudge Humbly’s visit,” he forced himself to say with meticulous honesty. “He has managed to bring a bit of life to our tedious household. Still, I do appreciate his evening with the Bishop.”

  Dobson nodded in a knowing manner. “As will Mrs. Drake, I am sure.”

  “I do hope so,” Adam murmured, recalling how her eyes had darkened and her lips parted when he had briefly kissed her earlier in the day. Although he was no experienced rake, he did know when a lady was responding to his touch. He was sure she was as anxious as he to succumb to their rising passions.

  “She is a lovely lady, if I may be so bold,” Dobson broke into his delightful imaginings with a smile. “The staff is very devoted to her.”

  “Yes, she is lovely.” Adam heard the faint sound of a gong. “And I have no desire to keep her waiting.”

  Fussily brushing the coat until he was certain no renegade bit of fluff dared to mar the perfection, Dobson stepped back and gave a nod.

  “There.”

  Adam’s lips twitched. “Will I do?”

  “Exquisitely.”

  “Thank you.”

  Still smiling at his servant’s absurd admiration, Adam made his way down the stairs. He encountered the housekeeper as she bustled from the library.

  “Ah, Mrs. Hall, is Mrs. Drake down yet?”

  With a smile that had been decidedly absent since the Vicar’s arrival, the woman gave a nod of her head.

  “Yes, sir. She is in the front salon.”

  “Thank you.”

  Feeling oddly nervous, Adam hurried down the hall and entered the salon. He discovered his wife standing beside the fireplace and his breath caught.

  Accustomed to the pale, modest gowns he had chosen, he was caught off guard by the dazzling moss green satin that shimmered in the firelight. The rich color contrasted sharply with her pure white skin and the darkness of her thick curls, while the soft material offered a tantalizing hint of the curves beneath.

  She looked daring and utterly beguiling.

  He sucked in a sharp breath.

  Perhaps hearing his instinctively male reaction, Addy slowly turned to regard him with a faintly shy smile.

  “Good evening, Adam.”

  “Addy.” He moved forward, not bothering to disguise his appreciative gaze. “What a beautiful gown.”

  Clearly uncertain what his reaction would be she breathed a soft sigh of relief. If it were possible, Adam would have kicked himself for convincing her she must have his approval for such a simple thing as choosing her own gowns.

  What an arrogant ass he had been.

  “Do you like it? The color is rather bold.”

  “You have never looked so beautiful,” he said sincerely.

  “Thank you.” Adam was relieved when her wariness receded and a faintly teasing glint entered her dark eyes. “I suppose I should confess that I have purchased several more gowns and a countless number of bonnets.”

  He easily followed her lighthearted teasing. “Ah, there are no doubt matching slippers and gloves?”

  “Of course, although I did limit myself to only five new fans.”

  “Will I be forced to give up my dressing
room to make room for your numerous purchases?”

  She gave a sudden chuckle. “I shall contrive to keep them contained to my own wardrobe.”

  He moved to lightly stroke a dark curl that lay against her cheek. “I am willing to sacrifice to see such a smile,” he admitted, his lips twisting with a rueful humor. “And I am honest enough to admit that your sense of fashion is vastly superior to my own.”

  A soft blush rose to her countenance. “Nonsense.”

  “No, it is the simple truth,” he admitted, then sensing her growing discomfort, he deliberately shifted the conversation. “How does your portrait go?”

  Her expression immediately brightened. “Very well, despite the Vicar’s grumbling at having to sit for so long. Poor Cook is forced to rise an hour early just to ensure that we have an ample supply of lemon tarts.”

  Adam gave an amused shake of his head at Humbly’s passion for sweets.

  “You have all the supplies that you need?”

  “Yes, indeed,” she swiftly assured him. “The studio is perfect.”

  “Good.”

  She glanced through her lashes in an almost coy manner. “I have never possessed such a place of my own. I feel shamelessly spoiled.”

  His hand shifted to cup her cheek, his gaze lowering to the tempting curve of her lips.

  “Not spoiled, Addy, simply appreciated.” The distracting lips parted at his soft words, but before he could take advantage of the unspoken invitation the reverberating sound of the second gong had him reluctantly pulling away. “Damn. I suppose we should go through.”

  A hint of devilment shimmered in her eyes. “Cook would be most disappointed if we allowed her meal to become cold.”

  Adam heaved a resigned sigh. “I feared you would say that.” He held out his arm. “Come, we cannot have a mutiny in the kitchen.”

  Together they moved to the dining room, allowing themselves to be seated at the large mahogany table. It was an elegant room with tangerine walls and gilded cornices. Several fine Wedgwood platters were placed upon a side table along with sterling silver platters that had been collected by his family for generations.

  Adam’s only thought, however, was for the woman seated across from him as they partook of the various dishes. Although he fully appreciated her easy conversation and occasional teasing comments, he was anxious to finish the meal and have the opportunity to lure her to his chamber.