The Biggest Part of Me

by Malinda Martin

  Jason was starting to feel better about coming. Maybe a nice, quiet evening out would be good. The stress and headaches involved with getting CARL ready was taking a toll on him, along with other pressing issues.

  “This place is awesome, Dana. How did you find out about it?” he said after they received their drinks.

  “Isn’t it marvelous, darling? I just happen to know the right people.” Dana lifted her glass of a Cuban rum drink to her enhanced red lips. Then said, “I’m glad you like it, Jase.” The leggy, bleached blonde bombshell fluttered her eyelashes at Jason, glad that she had pleased him.

  They ordered Arroz Con Pollo for Jason and Ensalada de Frutas for Dana. As they sat enjoying the ambiance, Jason began to relax. The feeling was fleeting, however, for his muscles tightened when he saw Jane and Ed come into the restaurant.

  Dana noticed him staring at the entrance. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I just see someone I know.” Jason couldn’t keep his eyes off her. Jane was stunning in a royal blue, scoop necked silk dress. The color looked good against her honey blonde hair.

  The hostess led Jane and Ed into the dining room. As they approached Jason and Dana’s table, Jane spotted him. She stopped abruptly. Ed bumped into her and holding her arms asked, “Jane, what is it?”

  “It’s nothing. Nothing.” They continued to their table and as they passed Jason’s table Jane simply smiled and said, “Hi.” The corner of Jason’s lips curled up slightly and he nodded.

  The tables were not that far apart. Jane was clearly distracted, shaking out her napkin and placing it on her lap, then twisting it around in her hands. Her eyes kept darting to Jason’s table and back again. Ed wasn’t sure what was going on. He turned in his seat very discreetly to see where Jane’s attention kept going. Sipping his water he asked, “So, who’s making you nervous?”

  “I’m not nervous,” Jane said a little too quickly. She took a big drink of her ice water. Then wanting to be completely honest she whispered, “That’s the president of Talbot Toys. You know, um, my childhood friend.” She noticed Ed’s eyes looking back at Jason’s table. However, she knew he wasn’t looking at Jason. She knew the look she saw in his eyes. Any man looking at a drop dead gorgeous woman had that look. She watched as his eyes dropped down and up. Jane turned to look at the woman. She wore a bright red dress, if you could call it a dress. The already too short dress had a slit that went almost to her . . that was what Ed was looking at. Jane felt dowdy and unattractive. She drank more water.

  “Your friend is a real looker, isn’t she?”

  “That’s not my friend. She’s his date. And Ed Simpson unless you want those eyes popped out with my cocktail fork I’d suggest you put them back into their sockets and return them to our table!”

  Ed wasn’t used to seeing a forceful side of Jane. He liked it. A lot. Taking her hand and gently touching her fingers with his lips he said, “Jane, sweetheart. How could you think that I could possibly see anyone here but you?” Then he squeezed her hand and held it lightly on their table.

  Jason watched them out of the corner of his eye. Who was that guy? It couldn’t be the fiancé. Jane had much better taste than that. He looked like an overachieving executive to him. Like a monster executive. Sorta like Frankenstein. Hey, that might make an interesting action figure—Executive Frankenstein. Jason smiled genuinely for the first time that evening.

  The meal was the worst of Jane’s life. Not that the food was bad. It was probably very good. Jane couldn’t tell. She couldn’t eat. Midway through her meal, when she thought it couldn’t get worse, it did. Jason and Dana had finished and walked over to their table.

  “Hello, again,” Jason said casually.

  “Yeah, fancy meeting you here.” Jane drank more water, her fourth glass.

  Ed stood. “I don’t believe we’ve met. Ed Simpson.” Ed stuck out his hand to Jason.

  “Jason Collins. May I present Dana Pleshette.”

  Ed took Dana’s hand and gently brought it to his lips. “Delighted, Miss Pleshette.”

  Feeling left out, Jane said, “Hi, I’m Jane Kendall.” She felt unattractive all over again. Dana smiled smugly at her and taking Jason’s hand in hers said, “How do you do.”

  Addressing Ed and Jane, Jason said, “So, are you enjoying your meal?” Looking on Jane’s plate he mentioned, “I see you got the Arroz Con Pollo, too.”

  “Yes, it’s very good,” Jane managed to say.

  “You haven’t eaten very much of it,” Jason noticed.

  “They gave me quite a lot.”

  Ed decided to jump in. “Hey, why don’t you two sit down with us and have some dessert? I’d love to hear about this new project the Talbot Toy Company is starting. I can’t get anything out of Jane.”

  Please, oh please, oh please, no! Jane thought.

  Of course, they sat.

  Jason loved his new invention. Although he didn’t want to go into details because of concerns of information leaks, he did tell Ed the company’s news release on the toy. CARL was a combination robot and computer that would be geared towards children in time for the Christmas season.

  Ed ordered four flans, Cuban Custard, and began talking about his favorite subjects—himself and his law practice. After finishing his dessert, Ed reached his arm around Jane and whispered in her ear. She smiled, looking back at him. Jason felt his breathing become labored. Why was she with this clown, letting him paw her? Didn’t she have standards? He could see right through this Ed Simpson. He was nothing but a user. Jason had also seen the lustful way Ed had looked at Dana. Didn’t Jane see it?

  Dana took Jason’s arm. He wasn’t even aware of it. Nor was he aware of the way Jane’s temper was flaring. Did he like flaunting this woman in front of her? It was like he was saying, “Look, Jane. See how much better I can do?” At that moment she hated Jason Collins.

  “I hear that there might be a merger in the works for Talbot Toys in the next year. Any tips on stock trading, Collins?”

  “Why Mr. Simpson. You know that’s illegal. And here I had hopes that you were an ethical lawyer. Guess it’s just an oxymoron.”

  “I’m very ethical. I also look out for myself . . . and my interests.” Ed tightened his hold on Jane’s shoulder, knowing the look he had seen in Jason’s eyes when he looked at Jane

  Jason noticed the movement. “So, I guess congratulations are in order,” he said looking at Jane’s engagement ring. “When’s the big day?”

  “Well, we haven’t actually set the date yet. We’re just enjoying the feeling of being engaged, right darling?” Ed rubbed Jane’s arm and looked at her.

  She tried to smile. “Yes.” Where was that waitress with more water?

  “Well, it’s nice to know you have somebody, Janie,” Jason said more gently that he wanted to. His eyes met Jane’s and probed. With a frown on his face, Ed mouth “Janie?” to himself.

  “Yes, I don’t know what I’d do without Jason,” Dana said rubbing her body against Jason’s.

  “It’s wonderful when you find the right one,” Ed said absently, pulling Jane closer to him.

  Jane noticed something in Jason’s eyes as they both looked at each other—a deep sadness, that flashed for a split second and then was gone. She broke the stare by looking into her lap. “Ed, I have a headache. I’d like to go now.” Jane had to get out fast. Her nerves were shattered. She didn’t want to make a scene. She stood ready to bolt.

  “Of course, darling. I’ve got medicine at home.” Jason bit his tongue in fury over the idea of Jane going to Ed’s home or worse the idea that they could be sharing a home. Meanwhile, Ed looked around for the waiter to get his check.

  “Simpson, just help her. I’ve got the check.”

  “Very nice of you, Collins.” He took Jane’s arm but didn’t leave before turning to smile at Dana. “Miss Pleshette,” he said with a smile. Jason thought he would be sick.

  Outside the restaurant, Jane took a couple of deep breaths before turning to E
d. “I’m sorry, Ed. I hope I didn’t ruin your evening. I just needed some fresh air.”

  “No worries. I really didn’t like the way he was looking at you anyway.”

  The two began to walk at a leisurely pace. Curious Jane asked, “How did he look at me?”

  “Like he could eat you with a fork and a spoon.”

  Jane wasn’t sure of her reaction. Did she feel irritation, fear, or excitement? None of these emotions were acceptable to her way of thinking. Besides, Jason just didn’t feel that way about her, anymore, maybe ever. “I’m sure you’re wrong.”

  “Darling, I know when a man is hungry. Although I don’t know why he would be, with that beautiful specimen hanging all over him.”

  Clearly out of self-confidence at this point, eyes beginning to swell with tears, Jane said, “Well, why don’t you just go back inside and fight Jason for her like the cavemen you two are!” Jane walked briskly away from Ed.

  Not able to conceal his laughter, Ed caught up with Jane and wrapped an arm around her waist. Snuggling his lips on her neck, he whispered, “How about we go back to my apartment and I’ll show you just how much of a caveman I can be.”

  Amazed by the public display of affection that Ed normally did not show, Jane turned in his arms and answered, “Ed, the truth. How do you feel about me?”

  He took both her hands in his. “Jane, I am absolutely crazy about you. Why you would think that you’d have to compete with Miss Pleshette is beyond me. You’re beautiful and smart and kind. Now really, where’s this coming from?”

  “I guess I’m just on edge with everything. It’s really not your fault.”

  They began a lingering walk with his arm around her shoulder. “I’m sure everything will be fine, Jane. But I want you to let me know if that Collins fellow starts to bother you. I hope I set up a few boundaries tonight, but if it didn’t get through to him, I can set more.” Ed gently massaged her shoulder while they walked. “Now, what about going back to my apartment?”

  “Ed, I really do have a headache.”

  He sighed loudly and then hailed a cab.

  The next morning, Jason could not concentrate. How could Jane still get under his skin after so many years? Working was a lost endeavor. He had to get out. Putting on his work out clothes he headed for the elevator.

  “Shelly, I’m going for a jog in Central Park. I’ve got my cell in case any emergencies come up.”

  “Anything wrong, Boss?” Shelly Williams, Jason’s assistant, knew her boss. He never took off when there was work to be done unless something was really bothering him.

  “No, I’m good.” He lied.

  She knew he lied. “Okay, we’ll try to function without you for a while.”

  Snow covered the foliage of Central Park. The barren trees etched black lines against the gray sky. The air was cold and invigorating. Just the thing to get Jane Kendall out of his system, Jason thought.

  He started with an easy pace getting his body used to jogging in the cold temperature.

  How could she have just brushed him aside at the restaurant? She was in an awful hurry to get away from him. Was it to be with her “intended?” A small knot was forming in his stomach. She’s not mine, he reminded himself. She’s free to do whatever she wants. Argh! Stop thinking about her, he commanded himself.

  He continued jogging, enjoying the quiet sound of his feet brushing the path and his breath misting in front of him. Very few people were out this morning, which suited Jason just fine. He wanted to be alone. He didn’t need anyone around him.

  He thought about his life. He was successful, running the company that he had always dreamed of. He certainly didn’t need Jane Kendall complicating his life. It had been so long but it felt like just yesterday. Before he could stop himself, his mind was transported back to the last time he had been with Jane seven years before, the last time he had held her, kissed her, showed her how much he loved her.

  The cold wind wrapped around the couple as they looked out over the ocean. Little Talbot Island, Florida, was empty except for the few birds that had flown from the north seeking a warmer climate. Jason put his arms around Jane as she shivered, pulling her close and rubbing her arms to provide warmth. When she looked up into his eyes with tears pooling he embraced her, his own eyes starting to fill.

  “Thank you for bringing me here, Jay,” Jane softly said to the young man. “I wanted to see it before I left.”

  “You know I’d do anything for you, Janie.” Jason leaned down and kissed her lightly, but it wasn’t enough. Parting her lips with his tongue, he deepened the kiss as she melted against him. Even though the wind had a biting chill, the two grew nice and warm. Finally, they broke apart and started walking hand in hand.

  The second semester of their junior year of college was coming. Jane was flying to Oxford, England, to study marketing for the semester then returning to Princeton University to finish her degree. After that, she was hitting New York. She already had an internship in mind and if her plans succeeded, she would be offered a position following completion. Jason would be returning to the University of Florida to complete his degree in engineering. From there he didn’t know. Jason was always busy with his prototypes, his dream being to have his own company.

  This could be the last time that they walked the beaches of Little Talbot Island together. Each knew that, and it saddened them. They had been best friends for years. Living in the same neighborhood, they had grown up together.

  Jason knew he was in love with Jane when he was thirteen. It had taken Jane longer. She was fourteen when she let Jason steal that first kiss. They had dated others in high school until the end of their junior year when Jason had flown into a jealous rage over the debate captain that took Jane to the junior prom. Jane had been equally mad about the cheerleader that Jason attended with. After that, they were always together. Through summer jobs, through study sessions—that inevitably turned into make out sessions—through graduation. Then came college. They had talked frequently during the first two years, sharing all the details of their separate lives. Now things were different. Each knew things would never be the same.

  Jane grew colder and colder as they walked, in part because of the weather but also because of the emptiness she was already feeling. “Jay, I’m really cold,” she said letting a few tears slip down her cheeks.

  “I’ve got you, baby,” Jason whispered as he swung her up into his arms. He took her back to the car and gently set her in the front seat of his old brown Thunderbird. Turning on the heat, he pulled her close to him and kissed her with his whole heart. They continued kissing until the cold was forgotten. In fact, everything was forgotten except for the touch of their lips and the sound of their hearts beating together.

  Jason was no longer jogging. He was in a full run. His breathing was fast and furious as the sweat poured from his brow. Exhausted, he headed back to his office to take a shower in his executive suite, feeling, if not more relaxed, at least more decisive.

  There would be no personal contact with Jane. He couldn’t risk it. CARL was the biggest goal of his toy making career. If they decided to go with Patterson, he would simply make sure his meetings with her would always be at an office, preferably with a dozen or so people. For goodness sakes, he almost kissed her the first time he was alone with her! He didn’t want the opportunity to repeat his past mistakes, kissing her, holding her, feeling her soft body against his . . .

  Damn! Now I’m going to have to forgo my hot shower for a cold one!

  The call came one week later. Jane was busy working in her office when Terry called asking her to step into the conference room along with her marketing team. Although not an unusual request, somehow Jane knew that this was about CARL. By Terry’s tone on the phone she really couldn’t gauge if the news was good or bad.

  With butterflies flittering around her stomach, Jane stepped into the conference room. She was met with the sound of corks popping, champagne flowing, and people laughing.

 
“There she is,” Terry said laughing. “We got the deal, Jane. It’s your project now. Congratulations. Good job.”

  Jane was dumbfounded. Everyone gathered around her shaking her hand, patting her shoulder, expressing encouragement. All Jane could do was smile and murmur, “Thank you,” as she enjoyed the champagne and the excited chatter of her co-workers.

  Sally stuck her head into the conference room later and said, “Jane, you’ve got an important call.” Jane hurried back to her office, glass of champagne in her hand. Still smiling she answered the phone.

  “I wanted to call and congratulate you, Miss Kendall. No other agency was even close in the running. Well done.”

  Jane felt a mixture of excitement, pride, and warmth as she listened to Jason’s praise. Noticing his business-like use of her last name, she decided to reciprocate. “Thank you, Mr. Collins. You won’t be disappointed. We’ve got the best people working here. By this time next year CARL will be a household name.”

  “I’m counting on it. By the way, it took you long enough to get to the phone. I don’t know that I like that. I want to be able to reach my marketing specialist quickly if I need to.”

  Jane was dumbfounded. “Sorry, Mr. Collins,” Jane said as if addressing her old high school history teacher instead of her former boyfriend. “We were just having a little celebration over your decision. It won’t happen again.”

  “Good. I don’t have to tell you how important this project is to me. Now, I’d like to have a meeting next week with our assistants to review strategy. We can tentatively begin scheduling our calendars, making deadlines.”

  Who is this man? Jane thought. Well, he wanted tough, then he’ll get tough. “Of course. Monday afternoon, two o’clock work for you?”