Trials 02 Harry's Trial

by Terri Zavaleta

  TRIALS 02: HARRY'S TRIALS

  By Terri Zavaleta

  DISCLAIMER: Paramount owns the show, the characters, and the best parts of the known world. This story and Shadow and Dishon are mine. Ethan Simms, Janine Lamont, and Mikel Hudson are inventions of the PT Collective. This is intended for fan enjoyment since there are not enough stories to satisfy the Voyager-hungry fans. This is for fun, not profit. Please give credit where credit is due. I did the work.

  SYNOPSIS: Sequel to Trials 1: Tom's Trials - Harry Kim is feeling left out as Paris and Torres become a couple. He stumbles into a relationship of his own but accidentally ignites a battle of the sexes aboard Voyager.

  ***********************

  The senior staff meeting was winding to a close when Captain Kathryn Janeway asked the doctor for his report. The EMH cleared his throat, "Crewman Malista Shadow has made some progress, Captain. She's still withdrawn and distant towards me, and she continues to feel some anger towards Mr. Paris for preventing her suicide. It is

  my opinion that she could be released to her quarters with some supervision. It might aid in her recovery. Keeping her isolated in Sickbay is not helping her and may actually be detrimental."

  "Commander?"

  "I've talked to her, Captain. She wants *out* of Sickbay. In our last counseling session, she did talk to me and vented her anger towards Tom, but she still feels very close to him. I think it would be appropriate at this time to allow him to visit her," Chakotay suggested.

  All eyes turned to Tom Paris. He kept his gaze on the table and cleared his throat nervously. "What would I say? I'm not a counselor. I wouldn't know---" he paused and cleared his throat again.

  The others exchanged looks, no one knowing what to tell him. Finally, Chakotay spoke, "Right now you're her only friend, Tom. She feels cut off from people and embarrassed. She's afraid that the whole crew knows what went on and she'll have to make explanations. In my opinion, she's begun to find reasons of her own to go on living without Dishon, or anyone else, as the central focus of her life, but we need to facilitate the process by helping her come out of herself. I plan to continue meeting with her, but you're the only person she's willing to confide in at this point."

  Janeway noticed with a spark of amusement that her first officer had begun referring to the pilot by his first name and that his voice no longer held the usual hint of disapproval. That was progress. They evidently had found some common ground in helping Malista Shadow. "If you like, I'll come with you to see her, Mr. Paris," the captain offered.

  Paris sent her a nervous smile. "No, I don't think so, Captain. She's got a right to yell at me in private if she wants. I did meddle in her life."

  Out of sight, under the table, Torres found his hand with her own and squeezed his fingers as she growled, "You saved her life. Remember that."

  Paris turned to her, gratitude for her support illuminating those fascinating blue eyes. "Thanks, B'Ella---B'Elanna!" He corrected his slip quickly, hoping no one had noticed the nickname or, if they had, knew its meaning. "But I had help from Chakotay, and you and Harry, remember? The problem now is making it easy for her to fit in again."

  "She was beginning to before Dishon died," Harry noted.

  "Let us know what we can do to help, Mr. Paris," Janeway added. "If that's all?" No one responded. "Dismissed."

  Everyone rose and went to their duty stations.

  ***********************

  "Hi, Doc! How's it going?"

  "Good afternoon, Mr. Paris," the Emergency Medical Hologram responded. "Since you don't seem to be bleeding, bruised, or unconscious this time, I assume you've come to see Crewman Shadow. She's in the adjoining room." He gestured, then turned his full attention back to his workstation.

  Paris crossed Sickbay and signaled at the doorway. He barely heard the response from the room's occupant. Malista was sitting on a biobed, staring out a viewport at the passing parade of stars with a listless expression.

  "Hello." Paris stopped there, waiting for a reaction that would tell him what to do next.

  She turned her head slowly to look at him. It had been two weeks since the explosive decompression of the cargo bay that had killed Malista's best friend, Niko Dishon and almost killed the two of them. The bruising had finally healed and faded, leaving her skin its normal shade of light tan. It had been ten days since she had attempted to commit suicide by drinking poison---or by using her

  backup plan of slitting her own throat. Her eyes were the only part of her face that seemed alive. They danced with anger as they looked him over. "Tom."

  "Malista. How are you feeling?"

  "Lousy. You?"

  "Are we back to two words at a time?" he inquired.

  "Just tell me why," she demanded through clenched teeth.

  "Why what?"

  "Why did you stop me?" She turned back to the viewport as if it hurt to look at him. "Why did you have to stop me?"

  He wasn't going to let her ignore him. She had a habit of retreating. He wasn't going to let her do it this time. He moved in front of her, blocking her view and standing close enough to keep her from jumping off the bed and moving away from him. "That's a stupid question, Malista. Do you remember what we talked about on the

  holodeck? At Lake Como? The first time I took you there?"

  "We talked about a lot of things." Her green eyes gazed at her hands, folded in her lap.

  "You said you knew about Caldik Prime. You knew I lost three friends there?" Paris couldn't believe he was talking about this again. He'd promised himself he'd leave it behind. But if it would help someone else---.

  "Yes." There was no emotion in her voice.

  "You knew Pete Durst?"

  She frowned slightly at that, not getting the connection. "Yes."

  "That's why." He had her attention now as she tried to puzzle out his reply. "You would have been the fifth."

  "The fifth what?" Now she was looking at him, trying to read his face.

  Paris voice was slightly choked, his eyes bright as he replied, "The fifth one I couldn't save. If I'd let you---if you'd died---" He stopped to sniff and clear his throat, keeping his eyes locked on hers. "If you'd died, and I hadn't done everything I could possibly do to stop it, I would have had your face in my nightmares too. And

  they're populated enough."

  She stared at him silently for a moment. Tears she'd held back for too long were wetting her lashes, yet she refused to let them fall. She tried to drive them away with her fingertips. "It was my choice."

  "It was the wrong choice! You didn't think how it would affect other people! That's damned selfish, Malista!" he accused.

  "Selfish?!"

  "Yes, selfish. Did it occur to you that someone would have found your body? What effect would that have on that someone? Did it occur to you that the people who care about you would be sad? Hurt? Guilty?" He put his hands on the bed on either side of her, pinning her in place without touching her.

  "No. I didn't think anyone would care," she mumbled, her eyes dropping once more under that intense sapphire glare.

  "Well, I care. Chakotay cares. Captain Janeway, B'Elanna---shall I go on?"

  She shook her head. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

  "What?" Tom pretended deafness.

  She gazed up at him and spoke a little louder. "I said I'm sorry."

  "You should be," Tom muttered indignantly. "You're a part of the Voyager family now, Malista. We need you. We all need each other. People care about you---as much as you let them. If you've been alone, it's been your choice. Now, it's time to make another choice. You're going to join the family. Whether you like it or not."

  Malista considered him thoughtfully. "Tom, in this family, what exactly is
your role?" She raised her eyebrows at him. "Can I call you---Dad?"

  He was startled into a grin. "Hell, no! That's Chakotay's role. And we've got Mama Janeway. You can call me big brother! I've never been a big brother. I was the baby of my family." He straightened and started to move back to give her room, but froze when she held up a hand.

  "Big brother?"

  "Yes, little sister?"

  She smiled at him a little shyly. "Do you think maybe I could have a hug?"

  Tom smiled gently. He was touched that she was so comfortable with him. She usually flinched away from physical contact with anyone. "That's what big brothers do best," he said, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around her as she slid off the bed. "That's good. People hug better when they're standing up," he whispered in her ear. "A comprehensive hug."

  They embraced for several minutes, unmoving, not speaking, deriving solace from the warmth and physical contact. Tom felt silent tears against his shoulder, but didn't comment or react, except to rub her back gently with his hands in a patting motion until she stirred. As she moved back, Tom released her. "Tom, how many people

  know? About this? About what I did---tried to do?"

  Paris thought for a moment. He owed her honesty. "Only the people who were there or had to know. It's a confidential matter. The Doctor. Kes. Chakotay, B'Elanna, Harry, Tuvok, and the Captain."

  "Harry and B'Elanna?" she questioned. She understood how the others would know or why they'd be informed.

  "They were there in the holodeck with us. So was Chakotay. Harry and B'Elanna were the ones who used the transporter."

  "They were in the holodeck? I thought you were the only one there," she said, frowning in puzzlement.

  "Naw. You just thought so because you were dazzled by my blonde good looks. Happens all the time. People don't notice anyone else when I'm in the room," he boasted, glad to lighten the mood.

  "Really?" She raised one eyebrow at him, content to let him change the subject and grateful for his light touch of humor. "And that's a good thing?"

  "Sure. Are you ready to go to your quarters?"

  She hesitated. "I guess so. Are you going to go with me?"

  "That's what big brothers are for---to provide safe passage for their little sisters."

  "I thought you said they were for giving hugs." She began to gather her few belongings. "And I'm not that little." At just over six feet in height, she didn't think of herself as a little anything. Of course, Tom was almost three inches taller, so technically speaking he was correct.

  "Hey! I'm multi-talented!" he acknowledged modestly. "Come on, let's get you settled back into your quarters then we'll go down to the mess hall for dinner. Harry and B'Elanna are going to meet us there." He took the bag from her hand, linked his arm through hers and walked her toward the Sickbay exit.

  "Tom, I don't know if I'm ready to---be seen in public," she murmured.

  He smiled at her reassuringly. "You can handle it. And I'll be with you all the way. Besides, if anyone gives us a funny look, we'll let B'Elanna pounce on them. She's so aggravated at those sensors for misbehaving, she'd welcome any excuse for a rough and tumble."

  "I'm going to tell her you said that," Malista promised, humor dancing in her eyes as she thought of the hot-tempered engineering chief's reaction.

  "No!" Tom whined. "You're not supposed to rat on me!"

  "I thought that was what little sisters did best."

  "I hereby disown you!" proclaimed the lieutenant.

  "You can't. It's a lifetime deal. No refunds, no returns, no exchanges."

  "I didn't know that," Tom said, with exaggerated amazement.

  "It's in the fine print," she replied smugly, rubbing her cheek fondly against his shoulder.

  ***********************

  Having stowed her gear, badgered her into changing into a comfortably baggy green jumpsuit, and brushed her short, black hair himself, Paris led Malista Shadow to the mess hall. She pulled up short near the entrance. He gazed at her inquiringly.

  "Tom," she stammered, "I don't know---everyone will look at me."

  "Of course they will," he said cajolingly. "You look great in that outfit. It brings out the green in your eyes."

  "Tom. It's just so embarrassing."

  He straightened his face and looked her in the eyes. "If you're going to worry about people staring---don't look at them. Don't make eye contact. Just look at me. When we go in, I'll let you sit down with B'Elanna and Harry and get your tray. You know B'Elanna. You'll like Harry when you get to know him. Then once you're sitting at the

  table, you can look at one of them--- or gaze at me adoringly---which would be a better choice ---or---if you're really desperate, you can try to figure out what Neelix is serving. Come on."

  Eyeing him doubtfully, she took his hand before they stepped into the dining room. Ensign Kim and Lt. Torres were seated at their usual table not far from the door. They looked up as the door slid open and smiled a greeting at the pair. Harry got to his feet.

  Tom noticed that Malista was not only holding his hand but trying to disappear behind him as if she could make herself invisible. She was so self-conscious she was sure everyone was gawking at them---at her. Tom put her in the chair next to Harry and across from B'Elanna, which put her back to the room and its other occupants. "Harry, I don't know if you've ever been formally introduced. Harry, this is Malista Shadow. Malista, this is Harry Kim. Harry, make yourself useful. Come get a tray for Malista."

  Harry followed his friend obediently while Shadow looked surprised. She glanced across the table at Torres. "Is Tom always so bossy?"

  The chief engineer smiled at her. "When he can get away with it. And with Harry he can get away with a lot."

  "But not with you?" Malista relaxed a bit now that no one had made a scene upon her entrance. She flinched back in her chair as Kim appeared at her side and placed a tray on the table in front of her.

  "Sorry," Kim said. "I guess you didn't hear us coming." He could have kicked himself. Tom had told him she didn't like to be touched and was skittish about people invading her personal space. He could understand why. He seated himself and picked up his fork to stab at the food on his plate unenthusiastically.

  "That was fast," Torres commented. "Of course, there's not exactly a stampede to get to this." She poked the gelatinous brown lump on her plate and watched it quiver for a few seconds. Her engineer's mind had her timing the intervals between shimmies.

  "I always get fast service," Paris said in a mock whisper. Don't tell anyone, but I'm a friend of the cook."

  "If you're a friend, why does he feed you this stuff? And what is this? Did he grow it or find it?" Torres replied. She speared a bit of it on her fork and held it up until it slid off and plopped back onto her plate with a splat.

  "How are we going to eat it, if you keep talking about it?" Kim complained. "It's bad enough to look at it, without speculating about its origin!"

  Malista started to smile at the banter and automatically put a hand up to cover her mouth. Tom caught at her wrist, but she snatched it out of his reach. "What?" she demanded.

  "I told you not to cover up your pretty smile!" Tom reminded her grumpily. "Lord knows, we need something pretty to compensate for the offense this food does to our sensibilities."

  "Stop being so overbearing, Tom," B'Elanna commented.

  "Hey, she's my sister. I can boss her if I want. It's in the rules."

  "Since when is she your sister?" Harry Kim asked, amused by Paris' defiant expression.

  "Where in the rules?" Malista said suspiciously.

  "In the fine print," Paris replied virtuously.

  "Oh, really?" Her tone was menacing.

  "Of course. Would I lie about the fine print?" Tom asked blandly.

  "Since he decided I needed a keeper," Shadow replied shortly in an aside to Harry Kim since Tom was ignoring his question. Eyeing Tom she added, "And speaking of fine print---" She darted a glance at B'Elanna.

  "
Malista! Don't you dare!" Tom feigned panic, glancing from Shadow to Torres apprehensively.

  "Okay, Malista, what did he do now?" Torres said, with a mock sigh of exasperation, abandoning her dinner with relief.

  "What fine print?" Harry asked. He'd lost the thread of the conversation--- if he'd ever had it.

  "Malista! Haven't you ever heard of family secrets?" Paris lamented.

  Shadow raised an eyebrow at the pilot then quickly glanced at Kim. "The fine print that defines our new family relationship. He's decided that Voyager is a family unit and he's going to be my big brother." She'd isolated herself for so many years that it was a strain for her to join in a four-way conversation, but it seemed to make Tom happy so she would make the effort. She owed him that much.

  Harry Kim grinned at her. "That makes two of us. He just never spelled it out with me. Hi, Sis!" A smile twitched at the corners of her lips, but she kept her eyes on the table---or on Tom.

  "Geez, how many relatives am I going to get stuck with---have, I mean?" Paris complained to Torres.

  "I don't know. You started it. But what's this about family secrets?" B'Elanna repeated, as much to keep Tom on a roll as because she wanted to know.

  "Shh! We can't discuss that here, can we, little sister? It isn't very private. Besides it's a very well-documented fact that mealtime conversations should be peaceful so your sense of well-being will allow for good digestion," Tom explained.

  "But, Tom, we aren't eating," Shadow commented sweetly. She slowly batted her green eyes at him, trying to throw him off track.

  "I have an idea!" he exclaimed as if suddenly struck by a notion. "Let's go to Sandrine's and I'll use my replicator credits to

  buy dinner there."

  "Are you sure you have enough credits, Lieutenant?" Torres inquired, with a sly smile.

  "Well, I will have if you don't collect from me on that bet we made on the pool game last night," Paris suggested, flashing his brilliant smile persuasively in her direction. He was on his feet gathering the trays and dishes of uneaten food to take them to the bins. Harry stood and helped him.