Rodeo Ashes

by Vannatter, Shannon Taylor;

  “I’ve been holding out on her. Something big. And now I don’t know how to tell her. We’ve two-stepped forward and line danced backward for months. If I tell her the truth, there probably won’t be any more dancing.” Who was he kidding? His secret was insurmountable even if she knew the truth.

  “The truth shall make you free. And those aren’t my words, son. Straight from the mouth of Jesus.” His father tapped the Bible on the end table. “Tell me about it. Your mama won’t be back for a good hour.”

  ❧

  Lacie slid the box marked Dishes into the kitchen of her parents’ new house. With familiar furnishings, mementos, and family portraits, it would feel like home.

  All week, her parents and Clay had made several trips to San Antonio, transporting Clay’s stock trailers loaded with their belongings back to Denton. They’d left the big furniture for today. Clay had gathered up help, probably his ranch hands.

  Star stared out the kitchen window, her arms crossed over her chest. “I like it. It’s newer and nicer than the old place, and it’ll be great having Mama and Daddy close. I’ll never have to go to San Antonio again and worry about running into my ex and the bimbo he left me for.”

  “Good riddance.” Lacie squeezed Star’s arm. “So what about you and Wyatt?”

  Star smiled. The kind of down-to-her-toes smile Lacie hadn’t seen since Star learned of her ex-husband’s affair.

  “We get along great. He’s fun to be with. And he treats me like a queen. I’m meeting Hannah next week.”

  “She’s a doll. Sounds serious.”

  “I hope so. What about you and Quinn?”

  Lacie shrugged. “I think I jumped the gun. It’s no big deal. I need to focus on Max right now.”

  “Quinn could help you with Max.”

  “But what if it doesn’t work out between us? Then Max would be hurt.” Lacie hugged herself.

  “I noticed you put your rings back on.” Star patted her arm. “Just give yourself time. But I wouldn’t keep Quinn stringing along too long. He’s a great guy. Some woman will snap him up if you don’t.”

  Had she been stringing him along? She’d redouble her efforts to avoid him. No stringing allowed.

  The front door opened, and they scurried to front of the house.

  Quinn backed into the living room, carrying one end of her parents’ couch.

  Her breath stalled.

  Daddy held the other end. The men carefully eased it through the door.

  “I want it facing the fireplace.” Mama called instructions from outside.

  While they arranged the sofa, Wyatt wrestled the big-screen TV inside. Star hurried to help him.

  Mama followed the men inside. “The couch isn’t centered. Move it to the right a smidgen. Right there. Perfect. Now put the TV on the stand over on that side.”

  “Shouldn’t the couch face the TV instead of the fireplace?” Daddy frowned.

  “The recliners will face the TV.”

  “So when we have guests, they’ll have to crane their necks to watch TV.”

  Mama rolled her eyes. “How often do we watch TV when we have guests?”

  “Daddy, every stick of furniture can’t face the TV.” Lacie played mediator. “And besides that, the TV isn’t the center of our existence.”

  “Only during football season.” He winked. “Speaking of which, we need to get this show on the road. The game starts at six, and these boys have a rodeo tonight.”

  Daddy, Mama, Wyatt, and Star headed out the door to unload the trailers.

  Quinn followed, but Lacie grabbed his arm. Muscle flexed under her fingertips.

  twelve

  Lacie jerked her hand away as if she’d been burned. “What are you doing here?”

  “I offered to help that day we all went to the mall.” Quinn avoided her eyes.

  “You’re certainly not staying out of my way very well.”

  “I wouldn’t back out on them. And you should be happy I wasn’t at the ranch all week during your lessons.” He hurried out the door.

  She’d probably hurt his feelings. Here he’s breaking his back for her parents and she blasted him for it. It’s not all about me. Deal with Quinn, and be grateful for his help.

  ❧

  If Lacie showed up, the day was cut out to be awkward. Quinn squared his shoulders and cut through the obstacle course of canopy tents that made up Christmas on Main.

  Moving her parents into their new house and attending church last Sunday had been even more awkward than hiding at the ranch during Lacie’s riding lessons. He’d planned to sit somewhere else, but Clay had waved him to the regular pew. So he’d sat at one end and Lacie at the other.

  After church, Rayna invited him to Moms, and he’d sat there torturing himself, stealing glances at Lacie. Hadn’t quite figured out what was worse yet, seeing her or not. The week at his parents’ house had been only slightly easier. Maybe he should move home.

  She was here, setting out canning jars filled with peaches, salsa, and a host of other contents he couldn’t figure out.

  “Hey.” He pulled the brim of his hat low. Maybe he could hide how much he’d missed her. But it was probably right there in his eyes.

  “Hey.” She cleared her throat. “I wondered if you’d still come.”

  “If I commit to do something, I do it.” No matter the cost to his heart. “How can I help?”

  “Unload boxes for now.”

  He emptied a box filled with bags of hulled pecans, jars of assorted jams, and containers of fresh pumpkin pies. The mournful whistle of the freight train in the distance made him miss her even more. Minutes later, it rumbled past, stealing all chance of conversation.

  Once the festival officially opened, they barely had time for awkwardness. They bumped elbows, stepped on toes, and brushed against each other filling customer orders all day—with the scent of her perfume making him dizzy. As their shift ended, she was jumpy, as if she couldn’t wait to flee. And all he wanted was to settle her down with a kiss.

  But then, that would only stir things up.

  Though having her near him was torment, he wasn’t ready to let her go just yet. He took a deep breath. “Lunch at Moms?”

  “Clay’s mom has Max. I need to go get him.”

  He checked his watch. “Shouldn’t he be down for a nap about now?”

  “You’re right. I’ll grab something at home and then go get him.”

  “Listen Lacie, I don’t want us feeling uncomfortable around each other.”

  “It’s not gonna work.” She propped her hands on her hips.

  “I’m not talking about making us work. I’m talking about being friends.”

  “That’s what I mean, the friends thing.” Her voice cracked. “It won’t work.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s a ploy men use. Clay played the friends card with Rayna. Then Stetson pulled the same thing with Kendra. Men pretend to want to be friends, so they can worm their way into a woman’s heart. But my heart is officially closed.” She smacked herself in the chest. “At least until Max is grown.”

  Quinn lowered the brim of his hat. “So there’s still hope. I’ve already waited almost ten years for you, what’s a few more? Can we share lunch if I promise not to do any worming for another sixteen years?”

  She laughed. “You’re a nut.”

  Yes he was. Nutty over her. What she didn’t realize was he’d like to win her heart sooner—but if he had to wait until Max was grown—he would. Maybe in another sixteen years, he’d find the courage to tell her the truth. And maybe by then, she could handle it.

  “Shall we?” He offered his arm.

  “Oh all right. But no touching. Touching is worming.”

  He held both palms up in a hands-off gesture and followed her to Moms.

  They placed their orders and found a small table.

  “Why, you little rascal,” a young mom gently chided her toddler. “You stole a flag off the Christmas tree when we walked by.”

>   The little girl clasped a small American flag in one plump hand while her mother tried to pry her fingers loose. “It’s not ours. We have to put it back.”

  The toddler let go, and they headed back to the tree.

  Decorated in red, white, and blue, miniature flags, Statue of Liberty ornaments, and stars. Larger flags surrounded the top. “Is it just me, or did I miss Thanksgiving?”

  “They put it up for Christmas on Main.” She moved her silverware as the waitress brought their teas.

  “You going to your folks for Thanksgiving?”

  “Yes. We were hoping to get Mama and Daddy in the new house before Thanksgiving.” She emptied two yellow packets in her glass; her spoon clinked against the sides as she stirred. “Thanks to you and some good friends, we managed. Don’t guess I’ll ever need to head to San Antonio again. You?”

  “I’m thinking about it. It was great seeing my parents last week. I hadn’t been home in a few years.”

  “Why? You and your folks always seemed close.”

  Yes, but a certain cowboy had died, and Quinn couldn’t face them with his failure. It all seemed silly now. Where else could a cowboy go after failure, other than God and home? Yet he’d turned away from both.

  At least Lacie had gotten him on the right track there. Now he had to figure a way to worm his way into her heart, without her knowing he was worming.

  For one thing, Max was off limits. Maybe if he kept the focus on just the two of them, she’d lighten up and let him in.

  “Quinn?”

  He snapped to attention. Lost in thought, lost in her beauty. “What?”

  “Why had it been so long since you were home?”

  He cleared his throat. “Too busy, I guess.”

  The waitress set their sandwiches in front of them. “Here we are. Need anything else?”

  Lacie shook her head.

  “We’re fine.” He reached for her hand.

  She wagged a finger at him. “Touching?”

  “Praying.”

  Red blotches crept up her cheeks. “Oh. Of course.”

  Her hand slid into his. It felt good. Focus. “Dear Lord, thank You for all Your blessings. Thank You for bringing Lacie back into my life. Keep her and Max safe and happy. Help us to follow Your will. To be Your hands and feet. To reach out to others and glorify You in all we do.” His heart pricked. The truth would glorify God. “Bless this food in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

  Lacie’s eyes were too shiny. “That’s the first time I ever heard you pray.”

  “I’m ashamed of that.”

  “Don’t be. It’s never too late.”

  And never too late for the truth. “What were we talking about?”

  “I don’t have a clue.”

  “Me, neither.” All he knew was he sat across the table from her, withholding the truth. And not touching her was killing him.

  “Oh, we were talking about your visit home. I always liked your mom. Made everybody feel right at home. I remember our graduation party. She hugged all the kids like they were hers.”

  “She hasn’t changed. Still sells Avon. She asked about you. Wanted to know if you were still barrel racing.”

  She laughed. “I guess you told her once every five years or so.”

  “Are you still training Copper over at Clay’s?”

  “When I decided to board her there again, he made me promise I would.”

  “I want to see you at the Stockyards this week.” He tapped the navy tablecloth for emphasis. “A talent like yours shouldn’t be wasted. You showed up once after five years and took second place. I want to see you win.”

  “No pressure.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Do I need to sic your dad on you? Me and him, we’re like this.” Quinn crossed his index and middle fingers. “Tight. Your folks practically had us married off at the mall.”

  She took a bite of her sandwich, probably uncomfortable with the change in subject.

  “Star and Wyatt, too. Are they still seeing each other?”

  “They’re getting along really well.”

  “Uh oh. That’s bad.”

  “Why?” Lacie frowned.

  “We were getting along well, and then boom, we can’t even be friends.”

  She searched his eyes.

  Did she see the pain there?

  “I’m sorry, Quinn.” She covered his hand with hers. “I just need some time.”

  He jerked his hand away and held them both up in a back-off stance. “For the record, I had nothing to do with that touching incident.”

  Lacie laughed—down to her toes. Her face contorted on the verge of hysteria.

  “You okay?” Quinn joined in her laughter. “I didn’t think it was that funny.”

  “Fine.” Her voice came out too high-pitched. “I haven’t laughed like that since Mel died.” Her laughter died as quickly as it had come.

  “How about a carriage ride, and then we could tour all the other craft booths?”

  “Are you worming?”

  “Me? I’m highly insulted. I am absolutely not worming. It just looks like fun.”

  “Well, in that case, let’s go.”

  “The Mustard Seed looks like an interesting Christian bookstore, and I’d like to check out Jackie’s Hardware later.” And worm his way into spending the day with her.

  He was definitely worming. He just had to keep her from realizing it and hope Lacie’s locked-up heart would succumb to his brand of charm.

  ❧

  Quinn’s steps sped, eager to claim the seat beside Lacie on the long pew.

  Back off, Remington. Don’t make a point to sit by her. He slowed.

  That’s it, let Clay and Rayna end up between them. At least Lacie wasn’t as stiff around him. More relaxed and friendly since they’d spent most of yesterday together.

  If he ever wormed his way into her heart, he’d borrow Clay’s hansom cab and take her for a real carriage ride. Their hands-off ride yesterday hadn’t done his feelings for her justice.

  With Wyatt and Star in attendance, their friends’ row was on the verge of filling more than one pew. And everybody in the pew was half of a couple, except him and Lacie. Wyatt and Star were awfully cozy. If only he and Lacie could be.

  Slow down, Quinn. Don’t push. Give her space. Focus on the sermon. He zoned in as Brother Timothy closed and the music for the altar call began.

  Quinn went and knelt there. “Lord, I can’t focus on anything but Lacie. I’m sorry. Help me either get over her or win her love. Help me find the right moment to tell her the truth. Thank You for easing my burden about Mel’s death, and help Lacie understand when I find the courage to tell her.” He stood and returned to his seat.

  A deacon closed the service, and the congregation filed out of the pews.

  Lacie leaned around Rayna and Clay. “You coming to lunch at Moms?”

  “Sure.” His heart and face went slack. Like a lovesick puppy, he’d follow her anywhere.

  At least get rid of the goofy grin, Remington. But he couldn’t.

  “We’re having a birthday party for my bride.” Stetson put his arm around Kendra’s waist. “Saturday, December 5th, at six. You’re both invited. No gifts, just your presence.”

  “And no black balloons.” Kendra rolled her eyes. “Despite what this clown’s told everyone, I’m only twenty-seven.”

  Lots of opportunities to spend time with Lacie. Things were looking up.

  ❧

  Quinn’s traitorous eyes kept pinging back to Lacie as she worked with a student in his arena.

  He and Trent had inspected the fences on the entire ranch, and he’d hoped to stay gone until she left, but no such luck. Growling stomachs forced them to the house. He handed the horses over to the groomer and ambled to the house with Trent in step beside him.

  “Want to come to the house for lunch? I made chili last night.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Quinn. I’d be obliged.”

  Trent had adopted Quinn’s words and phrases o
ver the last month. His heart warmed.

  He’d tried to help people in the past, been taken advantage of and unappreciated, but Trent wasn’t like that.

  “You know you’re shaping up to be one of the best ranch hands I’ve ever had. Hardworking, and you keep the cabin spotless.”

  “I appreciate you taking me in.”

  “You got a girlfriend?”

  “No sir. I used to be a player before I met Jesus. Got a kid somewhere out there.”

  Quinn swallowed. “You don’t know where?”

  “Nope. Don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl. But I wonder. . .”

  “What?”

  “The girl I got pregnant used to be in the youth group.” Trent pulled off his work gloves and stuffed them in his coat pocket. “But she moved off and decided to put our kid up for adoption. Six months later, Stetson and Kendra adopted Danielle.”

  Quinn tried to keep a straight face. Coincidental timing, but could it be true? “How do you feel about being a father?”

  “Too young and stupid. Lynn—that’s the girl—made the right choice. We were both too young. But I like watching Danielle sometimes.”

  Quinn clapped him on the back. “Sounds like you’ve done some growing up.”

  “Stetson told me Lynn’s family’s moving back to town. I hurt her bad. She was a good Christian girl. She didn’t want to—I talked her into it. I told her I loved her—even though I didn’t know what love meant. I’d like to make it up to her somehow.”

  “I imagine she’s hurting over having to make such a tough choice. Maybe you can be her friend.”

  “Maybe. I definitely won’t push her for anything else.”

  Maybe Quinn could learn from this teenage boy. Maybe he could be what Lacie needed. A friend.

  He put his arm around Trent’s shoulders.

  Trent stiffened and then winced and shrugged away from Quinn.

  “What’s wrong, son? You hurt?”

  “My uncle’s removing my tattoos for me.”

  “I hope your uncle’s a doctor.”

  “He is. I’m keeping antibiotic cream on them like he said, but they feel kind of raw.”

  “You should’ve told me. I imagine carrying saddles and tack aggravated the problem.”