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The Forbidden Family Game

Page 7

by Ward Fulton


  "It didn't happen that way. Mother's injury was far more serious than we at first supposed. She never went out on the road with us again. And that has given us complete freedom. Too much freedom. I'm hung up on James, and that's why I'm here."

  Jane I- makes quite clear some of the reasons for her sexual involvement with her brother, James. Since early childhood the youngsters had been almost completely isolated from their peer groups, which, because of an actual difference in ages even though there was a pretense of twinship, would have been distinct and separate. This certainly would have been true in their earlier years, when a two-year age differential would have been a formidable gap. This would have placed each in a separate peer group where rates of learning and particularly attitudes toward sex would have been quite distinct and separate.

  This isolation was the result of their mother's determination to promote their musical careers, at the expense of normal living. It also involved a degree of propinquity certainly not usual even among twins of the opposite sex.

  The fact of isolation automatically eliminated from their sphere of knowledge the usual information-and misinformation-regarding sex, which all normal children acquire. Among this miscellany of information would, in all probability, have come the social taboo on incestuous relationships, which the twins lacked completely.

  Contrary to what certain puritanical groups maintain, there is no inherent bar to an incestuous relationship, though some would maintain that some divinely directed consciousness operates in the animal world to prevent or block an incestuous relationship. Benjamin Karpman, in The Sexual Offender and His Offenses, states:

  The animal world takes no cognizance of the problem of incest… There is a prevalent notion among certain pious folk that animals are saved from incest by a God-given instinct… but this is just misguided Puritanical influence.

  In this, many psychologists and psychoanalysts concur. So it can be taken that incest, interfamilial sex acts, is not an unnatural activity, but a matter of social taboos, and of legal statutes dating back to Mosaic law.

  Since James and Jane lived such insulated and isolated lives, they were probably totally unaware of the "social taboos connected with incest. Their intensive training had been devoted almost entirely to music and, apparently, very little directed toward the normal life processes. So that even sex itself, once the biological urges were aroused, was not taboo.

  This cannot be interpreted as meaning that their mother in any way encouraged or condoned the sex acts of her son and daughter. It is just that, in her blind obsession with developing their musical careers, she failed to consider the normal life processes and certainly willfully refused to recognize their physical development. The only indication we have that the mother recognized this physical development is that she forced the girl to wear a "tight bandeau" on stage to hide her growing bosom. Even this external evidence, in Jane, of a biological development does not seem to have penetrated the mother's perception to the extent of considering possible other biological developments with, of course, certain natural concomitants, the normal arousal of sex urges among them.

  Having insulated and isolated her children from the world so that they might fulfill her own musical ambitions, the mother appears to have insulated and isolated them from her own mind as young, developing human beings. Such developing human beings require guidance and counsel if that development is going to proceed along normal and socially acceptable lines. Neither Jane nor James had the benefits of such guidance and counsel and so were victims of their own natural (or, some might put it, unnatural) desires.

  What triggered Jane and her brother into an incestuous act? Problems with their work. Jane states that she was having difficulty following some of James's cues and that she felt the constriction of her body in the tight singlet. The baring of her young bosom, with her breasts reacting to the violence of her arm and finger movements in the rehearsal, appear to have fascinated and then intrigued young James, so that he in turn missed giving the necessary musical cues.

  In other words, even before the actual performance of the incestuous act, the work of both was suffering. According to Wilhelm Reich, noted German psychoanalyst and sociologist, and author of The Sexual Revolution: "Patients come to us with some typical [sexual] troubles. Their capacity to work is always affected; their realizations do not correspond to the exigencies that form society."

  While Wilhelm Reich may be Marxist-oriented and see society as benefiting from the revolution, he is also a clear-thinking psychoanalyst who understands the function of sex in society. What he is saying in his book is that sexual frustrations can and often do affect a person's work, or can, in an otherwise normal person, interfere seriously with the natural sex processes, even leading to impotence.

  Both Jane and James were, at the time of their initial incestuous sex experience, normally developing youngsters just at an age of intense sexual curiosity. Their work had frustrated their more normal contacts with society and, being healthy, developing adolescents, sex and the sex impulses unrequited, and unresolved, interfered with their usually smooth cooperative performance as musicians.

  The nude physical contact certainly aroused James and Jane, though, probably unconsciously, the boy had become aroused by his sister's physical activities which involved considerable movement of her breasts. Their reaction was immediate, intense and, given the circumstances, quite natural. With no social guidelines and no taboos, they respond to their mutual stimulation with an incestuous act of sex.

  Circumstances, the mother's injury and continuing inability to travel "the concert circuit" with her children, conspired to permit a prolongation of their incestuous intimacy. Jane's report on the critical reviews following her sexual experience seems to bear out Wilhelm Reich's contention that good sexual adjustment means a correspondingly good work output. It also seems, in the eyes of James and Jane, to "justify" their continuing in a state of incestuous intimacy.

  Jane, as we shall learn in the continuation of her statement, expands her sexual activities to include other young men than her brother.

  This would seem to be the beginning of recognition on her part that the incestuous relationship, though initially satisfactory, was setting up emotional repercussions. This could easily be attributable to the fact that, by that time, without her mother's tyrannical rule, she was encountering for the first time the normal social taboos against incest, meeting on a new level her contemporaries and older people who could, possibly without knowing the circumstances and relationship of James and Jane, have given strong indication of social disapproval of incest.

  By the time she came for consultation on her problem, her intimacy with her brother, she had realized that, if she was to have any normally satisfactory life, she must rid herself of her absorption in her brother and their sexual activities. As it shall be seen, she even indicates that her brother would like release from the emotional thrall, even though they are still capable of rich enjoyment of sex with each other.

  It is quite remarkable that Jane does not indicate any great anger against her mother for the obsession that was certainly responsible for the circumstances that brought Jane into the incestuous relationship with her brother. Despite what her mother might have done to Jane's emotional life, she had certainly worked long and diligently to put both Jane and James (whatever her own motivation maybe have been) in a position where they were recognized for their looks, their work, and their general aptitudes. For this Jane seems to have forgiven her mother for the early strictures on her life. At least, she would never suffer from an inferiority complex. She was famous, wealthy and beloved. She only needed normality.

  "Yes, I'm afraid I'm really hung up on James. Oh, since that first experience and since Mother no longer traveled with us, I've had others-young musicians in the orchestra. But I always go back to James.

  "For one thing, it's the way we live, the way we've always lived, in each other's pocket. When we're on tour we always share a suite. Our agent has been ar
ranging that since we were children and hasn't changed. I suspect my mother has a fine Italian hand in that. She still doesn't recognize I'm grown up-or, anyhow, growing up-and that James is an adult. Well, chronologically, he's an adult, even if he isn't what you'd call mature.

  "Mother seems to think that having James share a suite with me is some' sort of 'protection*-which she appears to recognize I need in some obscure way, more as a child might need 'protection' than as a young woman. And after all, we share the studio suite at home, and have done it all our lives, so she sees nothing different in sharing a hotel suite.

  "There really isn't that much difference. I mean, as far as James and I are concerned. In either place we have complete privacy for whatever we want to do. The only difference is, in a hotel suite we can also have privacy from each other, for whatever either of us might want to do. With someone else.

  "Up to the time we had intercourse I don't believe either of us knew even the words for it. Somehow James learned a lot of them-from the boys in the orchestra, I'd guess. And around the hotel. Sometimes he'd tell me the words and we would laugh over them, as if they were bits of comedy. Which they were to us.

  "I learned 'fuck,' and 'cunt,' and 'prick,' and 'screw'-things we had been doing and using for months without even knowing people had special names for them. Or needed any. These were things you did, your intimate parts you used, but who needed to talk about it? To find words for it? We just did it.

  "After that first time, which was so exciting and disturbing, I felt oddly shy about wearing my singlet when we practiced-and even shier at leaving it off, because having my breasts wiggle and weave to my playing always seemed to get to James, so he'd fluff on some of the more intricate passages or fail to give me my cues.

  "I didn't want to wear a bra-I had several by that time-because a bra is restricting, and during practice I needed all the body freedom I could get. I finally settled on one of James's shirts, worn with my shorts, as the most practical. It was loose enough for me to get a thorough workout and yet covered my breasts.

  "It was rather funny, the first time I used a shirt. James had been used to seeing me in a singlet and, without really noticing them as such, to seeing my breasts popping in and out. Or else, for a while after our initial screwing, seeing me without anything. The shirt really gave him problems. I guess he could realize all the movements going on under the shirt but couldn't see anything, and it bothered him.

  "Understand, I was enjoying looking at James. He seems slight but he has muscles, particularly in the shoulders and arms and across his chest. A concert pianist has to have good muscular development- and years of practice develop them. I got a real thrill out of watching those muscles ripple and swell as he crashed down on those keys.

  "I didn't know then and I'm not sure even now why watching his muscular movements gave me such a series of delightful thrills. Except, in a way, they marked his maleness-and I was certainly interested in that.

  "Oh, we didn't fuck every day. And certainly not just before a concert again. There was too much to be done in preparation for the evening on stage. We concentrated on working, the day of a concert. By then we didn't need to worry about sex, or let ourselves be too disturbed by seeing each other. We knew we could have sex and that it would be good, both stimulating and relaxing. So we could save up for it.

  "Depending on how things went-if there was too much tension around the theater before the show, maybe we'd go back to the hotel, strip, in a sort of mutual but silent agreement, and have a really rousing fuck, with a long, lazy rest and a warm shower before the concert. Or we might not touch each other until the performance was over, saving it up for bedtime, to be followed by exhausted but restful sleep, and a sleepy, drowsy breakfast, sometimes naked, since we often ate in the suite.

  "I think I enjoyed those most. The nights when we would come back from the concert, beat but glowing, aware that we had given a good performance and the people had enjoyed and appreciated us. And then a slow undressing. Sometimes James would help me out of my sheath dress, and I'd help him get out of his stiff shirt.

  "I would be sweaty, too. A concert is an exhausting effort. So we'd rub each other down, then take a warm shower together, with each of us soaping the other, getting over the exhaustion of the evening, letting it wash away, until we were going again.

  "I know I was. James would play with my teats and nipples and run his hands down my sides, playing with me. It wasn't exciting at first. Just peaceful. But gradually I built up, as if the shell of 'the concert twin' melted and just girl came through.

  "It was wonderful, reverting to being a girl instead of a trained and strained musician. My very muscles-oh, I had muscles, too-seemed to melt. Particularly when James kissed my breasts and around my throat. If girls 'swooned' these days, I came very near it. James let his hands drift down my body, along the inner side of my thighs and back up on to my cunt, his finger playing just in the lips.

  "The warm water and the playing of his hands had my cunt wide open and ready-and weakened my legs, so that James carried me to bed. His bed. He laid me on it, still wet from the shower, and knelt beside me, his hands roaming over my breasts, down my body, along my legs, and to my cunt. Then he leaned over and kissed my breasts, sucking on them gently and teasing my nipples with his tongue. And ran his tongue down my stomach, to my belly button. And back up, until I was arching up with the want of more of him.

  "By the time he reached my cunt again, this time with his tongue, thrusting his face down on me, his tongue ramming into the lips of my cunt, I was in a frenzy. The excitement was so great I didn't think I could take another moment of it without something bursting.

  "I clutched at his head, forcing it down on my mound, his tongue teasing my clitoris and I was moaning, 'Now! Now! Now!' with my legs spread wide for him. Ready, oh, ever so ready, and waiting. I think I was more prepared these times than when it first happened, when I first got fucked. And that made the anticipation all the more violent.

  "I know I twisted and writhed on the bed, begging James to fuck me. I think I was using all the dirty words we had learned, all the gutter expressions. I know I felt that way, as if the very filth of the words made the fucking more exciting.

  "I don't think James even heard me, except as a background accompaniment to his own frenzy, his own drives and needs. He was almost cruel' at one point, gouging at my breasts with his hands, thrusting with his tongue at my cunt, sucking so greedily I could feel it way up inside me, drawing on my juices, setting me on fire. And at that moment I seemed to want cruelty, as if the punishment of my breasts and cunt, the clawing at my skin, the deep, draining suck were part of a new buildup, a new dimension to screwing.

  "I know when he climbed on me, answering the pull of my arms, his dong looked enormous, purple and engorged, and dripping with moisture. He slid between my legs and heaved down at me almost in a single motion.

  "I could feel the lips of my cunt, wet and hot, part and stretch to take his head-and then he was ramming it far, far up me, in one plunging sweep, a purely animalistic lunge. Even so, I could feel with the walls of my tube the shock of movement, trace it as it reamed far up me. I know I screamed. I think I bit him on the shoulder.

  "I know we were in a frenzy of physical action, pure and unadulterated animal activity. I writhed and heaved, shoving my pelvis at him, feeling the thud and bump of his pubic mound against me, even feel the scratch and tickle of his pubic hairs. His penis was stretching me, inside, and moving the flesh of my vagina, so that my clitoris was being teased, massaged into excitation.

  "We clung together, each seeming to try for deeper penetration, greater absorption of one another. We moved in a frenetic rhythm that thrust and.pulled his dong in me. Even with sidewise twists I worked on his dong, my cunt seeming to chew at him, to want to eat his prick.

  "I thrashed around, flinging my breasts at him, rubbing them hard against his chest, and he ducked his head down to mouth greedily at one. The moisture on us then was no lo
nger from the shower, but from sweat, from sex. Even the smell of our bodies, working in that frenzied rhythm, was exciting.

  "He brought it all to a grinding halt with one convulsive move of his pelvis and then seemed about to withdraw. I whimpered and caught at his shoulders, pleading in a strangled voice, without real words, to keep on. And on.

  "Instead, he drove back in, deeper it seemed than ever before, shuddering so that his whole body shook with it. I could feel the throb and swell of his prick inside me, and humped way up to meet whatever was coming. And his head blew a great gob into me, way up my belly. And I blew juices back, in a wild, primitive feeling of immense release. One great surge of feeling and then a whole series of small releases, until I was down to tremulous shudders and sudden, small but violent, spasms. James had one or two spasmodic thrusts, perhaps with even a little ejaculation, a little more come.

  "However, it was really all over, and the release was exquisite, a great peace after wildly emotional storms. I just lay there, with James collapsed on me, his dong dwindling and sliding out. He didn't roll off but slithered down me, kissing my breasts and nipples, my sweaty stomach, and on down to my cunt. He pressed his face warmly against it and sucked and tongued for my juices, for his, in greedy gulps.

  "That almost started things again for me, but right then I couldn't have really worked up another emotional storm. I was pooped. And, actually, so was James. In a few moments he crawled up to lie beside me, an arm under me and his hand resting tenderly on one breast.

  "It was a dreamy, tender moment as we lay there, getting our breath, letting the feelings of tension and excitement drain away in small shudders and long, heavy sighs, feeling the warmth of each other's flesh, knowing we had used our bodies in a magnificent orchestration. It was a moment I would have prolonged indefinitely, but those moments don't last forever. They are fleeting and ephemeral.

 

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