I would have gone directly to White’s apartment if Black hadn’t been riding the elevator with me. Instead, I went back to my own apartment and showered before I rode the elevator back down to White’s floor.
He didn’t answer his door, so I rode down one more floor to the office.
Gabriella wasn’t at her desk yet, but White was at his. He looked like he hadn’t slept.
“Have you been up all night?” I asked.
“Yeah. I’ve been making sure we didn’t have to do any damage control. There’s no indication we were spotted.”
“Are we going back for an extraction?”
“No. Your dad was grateful for the tip, but assured me he’d take it from here.” I wanted to ask him why he erased the surveillance pictures from my laptop but he sounded exhausted.
“You should go get some rest.” I said instead.
“I was about to.” He stood.
When we stepped into the elevator I asked, “So, what’s next?”
“With the job?” He took my hand.
“Everything.”
The elevator door opened up to his floor.
“Let’s talk in my apartment.” He gave a slight nod to the elevator camera.
He let me in first but as soon as he had the door shut he took me into his arms and held me close for a few long seconds.
“I’ll try to find some time for us to be alone, soon. I promise.”
“It’s not going to be easy.”
“No. It’s not.”
“Do you have any jobs lined up?” I moved the conversation forward.
“Nope. Well, nothing for you at the moment.”
I couldn’t stand it any longer. “Why did you take the pictures off my laptop?”
He raised his eyebrows at me. “I figured you’d check things out. That’s why.”
“If I’m not supposed to know, why did you even let me go on the op?”
“Because, I had absolutely no idea we’d find what we did. Your dad wasn’t pleased when he found out you and I did the surveillance.”
“Aren’t I a part of this company? This need to know bullshit has gone far enough. Do you really think you can’t trust me?”
I was not looking forward to building more composites and sifting through thousands of potential suspects. I was looking at, possibly, hundreds of hours of research.
“Alex. It’s not like that.”
“Really? What’s it like, then?”
“It’s a military matter.” I grew up knowing that statement and anything like it meant there was no way I was going to get any more info unless I went back in time and was part of the mission it pertained to. Even though I respected need-to-know had a legitimate purpose I couldn’t help being irritated that I wasn’t in on the secret.
When I didn’t continue to argue, White asked, “Promise you’ll leave this one alone?”
I pinched my lips together and shook my head. “I can’t promise.”
He stared at me.
“I’m sorry. I can’t. I’d love to, but I really want to know and I can’t promise. I don’t want to break any promises I’d make to you.”
“Alex—”
“Fine. What if I promise to try to leave it alone.”
My shoulders slumped after I said this. This was almost as good as promising to never think of it again. The urge to run back to my apartment and continue researching was stronger than ever.
“You better keep me busy until this urge passes.” I scowled at him.
“I’ll find something to keep you occupied.” His evil grin found its way past the drawn, exhausted look.
“After you get some rest.” I smiled. “I’m going back to my place for a while. I haven’t had much sleep these past few days, either.”
I turned to leave and he grabbed my hand. He turned me around and pulled me in closer. His kiss was strong but didn’t carry the hunger our previous kisses had. Instead, it conveyed a deep feeling of contentment and security and was, in a way, the most perfect kiss we’d shared.
Back in my apartment I stood in the door of my bedroom, staring at my laptop on the bed. I should delete everything pertaining to the op from the laptop. The photos that had popped up from my search started filling my mind and I tried to pick the right one from memory.
“Stop it,” I said aloud and walked away from the bedroom. Instead of the bed, I napped on the couch.
When I woke I shuffled around my apartment for about an hour. I loaded the dishwasher and gave my bedroom a glance. Then I swept the linoleum in the kitchen and caught myself looking at my bedroom again. I did several other small chores for about an hour before the call of the laptop became too much.
Again, I stood in my bedroom doorway and stared at it. The damn thing was still where I’d left it. I gave in and went to the bed and picked it up. When I opened it, the pictures flooded the screen.
I closed them all out and put all the info into its own folder. Pressing the shut down command wasn’t as hard as I anticipated. Then I took the machine and shoved it deep into my closet and dropped some clothes on top of it in a heap. If I couldn’t bear to part with the photos then I’d have to part with the laptop until I could delete the info. My last step to beat the temptation was to ride the elevator down to the office.
Gabriella was at her desk and White’s office door was shut.
“Hey, Hon!” She stretched her arm out to indicate my seat in front of her desk. I’d spent so much time in that chair the past month or so I swear it had my butt print permanently embedded.
“So? You’re nice and tan.” Her grin was broad.
“What did you do while we were gone?” I skirted her unanswered question.
“Nope. You first.”
“Tell me what you did, first. I’ll get us coffee.” I got up, grabbed her cup and was pouring within seconds.
“Just came to work, went to dinner with Martin and spent the rest of the time cuddling with him on the couch. Now, spill.”
She didn’t mean the coffee I was bringing back to her desk.
“Is he in?” I asked with a hike of my head toward White’s closed office door.
“Yep. In a meeting.”
She held up one finger and wagged it at me. “Now. Back to it, girl. Did you have fun?”
“It was—nice.”
She squealed. “Wait.” Her eyes narrowed and she cocked her head to the side. “What does nice mean? Did you or didn’t you?”
I hated her directness at times. I wanted to tell her, but White and I had agreed to keep it to ourselves, for now.
I spent the next half an hour chatting about everything else about my trip. I told her about Sean Stoddard’s advances, the beauty of Carmen’s Retreat and described the little bit of Jamaican scenery I’d seen in great detail.
“I wish I could have gone.” She sighed. “But, you still haven’t cleared up anything for me.”
Just then, White’s office door opened and my father and Master Chief Slade stepped out. They both looked as haggard and tired as White had earlier that morning.
“Dad?” I stood, a little shocked to see him in this state. “Master Chief.”
“Hi, darling.”
“Ms. Grey,” Slade said and swiped his hand across his eyes as if to wipe away the fatigue.
“Been keeping busy?” Dad’s shoulders still slumped, but he’d straightened them some for my benefit.
“Yes, sir.”
This was not the place to start asking questions. Plus, I’d promised White. Chances are, the Admiral wouldn’t be as gentle or understanding on this subject as White had been.
“I’ll walk you out,” I said and opened the office door for the men. I knew there would be no more conversation but I took this as an opportunity to walk away from Gabriella and her pressing questions. I rode down to the lobby with them in silence. It was uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as dodging Gabriella would have been.
Chapter Six
The next three days were almost un
bearable. I didn’t sleep well with the laptop in my closet. Every morning I dragged myself out of bed barely in time to get ready to go to the gym with Black.
Through my tired haze I noticed Helix was more subdued and polite. I wondered what had changed.
Every morning after my workout, I’d go sit across from Gabriella and watch my partners come and go from White’s office. White didn’t call for me to be part of any of these meetings. That didn’t stop me from showing up, hoping I’d get into one of the meetings. Gabriella had taken the hint and quit pressing me so hard for details about my Jamaica trip. On the fourth morning the traffic in and out of White’s office stopped and I was sulking in my chair until she asked, “He hasn’t called?”
I pried my eyes from his closed office door and shook my head.
“Ms. Grey’s here to see you.” She said into the intercom before I could stop her.
“Send her right in.” I’d missed his voice.
I gave Gabriella an unappreciative look and said, “Why did you do that? Now what do I do?”
“I’m not going to stand for him pulling a hit and run,” she snapped. “Ask him if that’s what it was, that’s what you’re going to do.”
I knew in my heart that this was not what was going on, but I couldn’t help but worry about it anyway. The past three days had been torture, not hearing anything from White.
“He’s just been busy.” I told her. “Besides, we never—” I stopped myself before I completed the lie.
“Don’t make excuses for him. And don’t feed me a line of bull. And, don’t let him feed you any shit.”
I took a deep breath and stepped into his office.
I still didn’t know what my excuse was going to be when he looked up and asked, “What’s up?”
“Nothing. You promised to keep me busy.” It was lame, but all I had.
“I know. Working on it. Actually, I’m glad you came down today. I was wondering—. I was wondering if I could talk you into going out on a date.”
My stomach flipped, my face flushed and I felt ill. “Uhh,” I stammered. Just say yes! I screamed at myself. Did this mean he wanted to make our relationship public? I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
“I mean, it’s a favor to me and not a paying job but you’ll get a good meal out of it.” White quickly put in.
“A job?” I was visibly taken aback and tried to compose myself.
“Yeah. The client,” he paused again. “He’s not really a client. He’s actually an informant or could even be called an operative. Anyway, he specifically asked for a date with you as payment for some recent information he delivered. He likes to be treated to a good meal from time to time and I guess this is one of those times.”
“Who?” I was beginning to resemble Black with my one and two word responses.
“All you need to know is that you are to meet a Mr. Johnson for dinner. Have a good time and then come home.”
“Who is Mr. Johnson?” I had apparently crashed back to earth because my brain kicked into work mode. If I were going to do a job I should know as much about it as possible. This Mr. Johnson must know me to specifically ask for me. I wanted to know who he was too.
“I’ll expect you back down here at six-thirty tonight. Your reservations are for 7 o’clock.” He skirted the question and was already shuffling papers on his desk. I was a little dumbstruck so didn’t react immediately. When he didn’t acknowledge me again, I left his office.
“What did he say?” Gabriella waited until I shut the door.
“I have a date tonight,” I said stiffly.
“Why is that not a good thing?” She narrowed her eyes.
“It’s not with White.”
“What? That makes no sense.”
“It’s a job.”
“I told you not to let him get away with this. Did you ask him about the two of you?”
“No. He didn’t give me the chance.” I was getting angrier as the conversation progressed. “I’m going home for a bit.” The compulsion to storm out of the office was strong but I resisted.
Back in my apartment a tear roll down my cheek as I looked at the closed door.
How could he do this to me?
I resisted the urge to run to my bed, throw myself down and bawl like a baby. I wiped the tears away and paced instead. This development only made me want to break my promise on purpose.
I’d go on his little date with the unknown Mr. Johnson because it was my job. I couldn’t let my hurt feelings interfere with my work. White losing all respect for me had been one of my concerns about starting up an intimate relationship with White. Now I was right in the middle of one of my fears.
I pulled out the laptop and spent the rest of the morning compiling composites of the men I’d seen.
Best to get it down before I forget the details.
Guilt ate at me with every bit of progress I made on the composites. I reasoned this wasn’t really cheating. He didn’t know how far I’d gotten and there was no harm in getting the computer-generated sketches on the laptop. I just wouldn’t input them into the database. I only had a couple left to do, anyway. When I was done I replaced the laptop with a sick feeling. I’d broken my promise, but I felt a need to get even. But, I only did some sketches and not found out any real information, I didn’t really do anything wrong. My excuses didn’t make me feel any better about what I’d done.
I had to get out of my apartment and away from that laptop. I went grocery shopping. I had plenty of room in my refrigerator and cupboards. It didn’t take as long as I’d hoped so when I got home I took my time putting the groceries away.
Still I had lots of time to kill before my date. I decided to catch up with phone calls. Mom was first on my list of two people. It didn’t take long to get each other up to speed since we both were guarded with what we told each other. Not that we didn’t have a good relationship, just that we both knew there were things in our lives that couldn’t be discussed. At least in my life. As far as I knew, my mom had retired from her cloak-and-dagger way of life. The need to know even filtered into my relationship with my mother and I wondered why I wasn’t used to it yet. I’d had plenty of practice being on the doesn’t need to know list.
I refilled my cup with fresh coffee and went back to the phone to call Colin. He’d become more and more reserved in our conversations since he’d been promoted. I tried to figure out the source of his restraint but couldn’t put my finger on it. Since he’d become more involved in my life, by being groomed to take my father’s place with White and Associates, he seemed to want less to do with my social side than my occupational side. Needless to say, I wasn’t really looking forward to trying to talk with him at this point, but I needed the distraction.
I took a deep breath and reached for the phone. After a short wait on hold, Colin answered my call.
“Alex? Is everything okay?”
“Yes. I just thought I’d call to catch up.”
“I don’t really have time right now. Can I call you tonight?”
“No. I have a date tonight.”
“A date? With whom?”
“I don’t know. It’s a blind date and actually, it’s really a job disguised as a date.”
“Sounds like fun. Anything else?”
“Anything else? Are you really that anxious to get off the phone with me? We haven’t talked forever and every time I call you don’t even care what I’m calling for, unless it’s work related.” My self-pity made me lash out at Colin. Though, it was something I needed to say.
“Come on, Alex.” He was angry now too. “You know I’m busy. This job of your dad’s is not easy!” He sighed when I didn’t reply.
Colin hardly ever raised his voice to me. White’s inattention so soon after we’d sealed the deal had me in knots and Colin was the one who was always supposed to be there for me. I didn’t trust my voice to remain even, so I didn’t respond. I hated it when I cried, but I really hated it when I cried and other people knew about it
.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I’m really stressed. I’m still learning how to balance it all.”
“That’s okay. I just miss you.” I succeeded in keeping most of the sorrow from my voice.
There was a long pause then Colin said, “I miss you too. You don’t know how much. I’ll set aside some time for us real soon. I promise. I’d come by tonight, but you have a date.”
“No, that’s all right. I know you’re busy and so am I. I’m just feeling sorry for myself right now. I’m really sorry I called you to yell at you.”
I never stayed mad at Colin long and he was very forgiving of me too. We had the perfect friendship, most of the time. We could ignore each other for months and then pick up right where we’d left off. When we were kids, I assumed I’d marry Colin. He was all I knew, but as we grew older we agreed to keep our relationship platonic. Being friends was the most important part of our lives.
“I know I don’t seem to give much consideration to your situation. You’ve got a more stressful job than I do. Do you have any new jobs lined up?” I knew he was referring to Penumbra. Colin was one of the few who knew. He’d never been told straight out but he’d been involved in some of the contracts and it was impossible to hide the facts from him. If he hadn’t been a friend, he wouldn’t have known I was out of town every time Penumbra was on a job, but I completely trusted him with the information, even if I would never physically say the words “I am Penumbra,” to him. And, he would never ask, either.
“No. I think that’s part of my problem. I’m going a little stir crazy.”
“I can’t even begin to fathom what you’ve been going through lately. And, frankly, I don’t want to. I worry about you, out there. Working with White and his bunch is bad enough, but…” he left it hang. Then he put his hand over the receiver. I heard him tell someone, rather gruffly, “Not now.”
“Sorry.” He came back on the line. “I don’t get any time for anything anymore.”
“Thank you for being my friend, Colin. I should have realized you’ve been under a lot of pressure too. I suppose I better let you get back to work—”
Traces of Grey: Book Four of The Alexis Stanton Chronicles Page 7