The Lady's Choice

by Bernadette Rowley

  Ramón bent over a skeletal form in the bed, bathing the face of the patient while he murmured words Benae could not hear. The patient moved his head from side to side and the covers over the man’s abdomen were stained with blood.

  Benae joined Ramón at the bedside. ‘Let me tend him.’

  ‘What the hell are you doing here, lady?’

  She met his anxious gaze. ‘I could ask you the same. Who is he and why is he here?’

  ‘It is none of your concern.’

  ‘Who is he?’

  ‘Lord Giornan Finus, Princess Alecia’s betrothed and Prince Zialni’s advisor. He tried to stop Vard Anton from taking Princess Alecia from this castle. This wound is the result. He has lain here this past month, dying.’

  Benae placed her right hand on the man’s forehead and closed her eyes. There was almost nothing left of him. She sank through the layers, delving deep into his body and spirit, questing for the hurts and the hope. She found none of the latter. The delving left her chilled and she shuddered.

  ‘His wound is taken over with foul humours and his time is short. It will not be long before he leaves this world and continues his journey.’ Benae closed her eyes again and wove a net of peace then let it fall. Finus settled and seemed to sleep.

  ‘Another of Anton’s legacies,’ Ramón said, ‘though I never had much time for Lord Finus. At least he is calm now.’

  Benae withdrew her hand but the foulness had seeped into her very soul.

  ‘Are you well, lady?’

  Benae turned from the patient to find Ramón’s intense gaze upon her. ‘I can never abide suffering and death and there has been so much lately.’ She turned from him and rested her forehead on the bedpost. The wood was cool against her hot skin. Several deep breaths had her feelings back under control.

  There was a sound from Lord Finus and his breathing became a gasping struggle. As they both turned to him, the lord gave one last tortured breath and lay still. Benae’s chest tightened and a sob rose to her throat.

  Ramón drew her hand into his and turned her to face him. ‘His passing has upset you.’

  Benae struggled to meet his gaze. What was happening to her? Why couldn’t she conduct herself with her usual aplomb? ‘I lost my brother recently and before that, my parents. Death always reminds me of them and of how they suffered.’ And of how I could do nothing.

  ‘You are on your own in the world?’

  ‘I am.’

  ‘That is the reason you seek this “arrangement” with the prince?’

  Again she felt that Ramón was disapproving of her quest for marriage. Well, he could keep his opinions to himself. ‘That is none of your business.’ Had her voice ever sounded so cold?

  She turned to Lord Finus’ corpse. ‘We must take steps to prepare him for burial.’

  ‘Return to your suite, Lady Branasar. I will summon a woman who will wash the body and dress the lord in his ceremonial robes. Tomorrow he will begin the journey back to his family estate, where he will be buried.’

  Benae stared at Ramón. He could be so commanding when he desired. She couldn’t help but feel there was a wealth of authority hidden deep within this man and when that power broke free, it would be like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. She nodded at Ramón, took one last look at Lord Finus and swept from the room.

  Ramón left the body of Lord Finus with the woman who would wash and dress it and returned to his chambers. Benae Branasar was not his concern and neither were her motivations. Why should he care if she offered herself to the prince? To Ramón’s mind she was little better than the prostitutes who sold their wares on the street. He had thought that loneliness motivated her, but, judging by her reaction, she was embarrassed. Did she feel that her reasons would not stand up to his scrutiny? Did she even care what he thought of her?

  Of course she didn’t care. What was wrong with him, anyway? He would seek his rest and to hell with Lord Finus and the Lady Benae Branasar. With the arrival of more guests, his sword practice, forest run and then the bedside vigil, it had been a very long day. He did not regret it, though and hoped that someone would sit with him when it came time for him to pass to the other life.

  Chapter 3

  Benae rose early, hoping to catch Jiseve at breakfast. Her heart did a girlish jig when she walked into the breakfast room and saw that her host was still at table. The young table maid attending him curtseyed and scampered from the room, cheeks wet with tears.

  ‘Lady Benae,’ he said, placing his tea cup on the table, ‘you are truly unique among women. None of the other ladies are awake yet.’ He crossed to her and kissed both of her hands. ‘I hope you slept well?’

  ‘Oh, yes, quite well, Jiseve. I was just anxious to see you.’ Benae glanced to where the girl had disappeared. ‘Your serving maid seemed upset.’

  Jiseve waved a bejewelled hand dismissively. ‘She cannot pour tea the way I like it but she will learn.’

  Benae stiffened. For a moment, Jiseve’s words had again sounded threatening, but she thought she must be mistaken. A servant could not truly be in trouble over tea, could they?

  ‘Is there anything in particular you wish to discuss, Benae?’

  Her name on his lips was like a caress. She must have mistaken the threat of a moment ago. Yes, she could see herself falling for this handsome prince – in time. ‘Do you suppose we could go for a ride after breakfast? Flaire is already restless.’

  Jiseve smiled his sad smile. ‘I’m afraid Princess Avalin has the pleasure of my company on a ride this morning. Tomorrow, you and I will ride together. I thought a picnic?’

  ‘That sounds wonderful, Jiseve,’ Benae said, even though she ground her teeth at the thought of Avalin enjoying private time with Jiseve. Hadn’t the cow monopolised the prince enough? By the Goddess, she’d been in Brightcastle two weeks! She’d had so much of a head start.

  Jiseve drew her forward to the table and she tried to put aside her disappointment and enjoy his company. He asked her about her trip and recounted stories of his travels in his youth.

  ‘Why did you journey so far to the north, Jiseve?’ Benae asked, as she buttered a piece of bread and spread it with honey.

  ‘I was sent by my father, then king, to lead the campaign against the dark elves, some two decades ago. We drove them far back into their mountain homes and I thought never again to be plagued by them, at least in my lifetime. It seems I was wrong.’

  ‘Something must be done. We have lost too many men, young and old.’ Benae took a sip of tea, thinking of the brother she had buried only two months ago.

  ‘I think it a little early to assume this is more than isolated tribes reaching for power,’ Jiseve said.

  ‘I hope you are right.’ Benae did not believe Jiseve knew the full extent of the trouble. On her own estate, dwellings were locked up tight when dark came on and so were livestock. And still they lost people and animals to the elves.

  ‘I am sure I am, my dear.’

  And with that, Jiseve changed the subject. Throughout breakfast, he gently probed for more information from Benae. His knowledge of her was surprisingly accurate and detailed. All went well until the subject turned to her family.

  ‘I am saddened to hear of the loss of your parents and brother, Lady Benae,’ he said, sympathy in his gaze. He reached across the table and grasped her hand. It was strong and warm.

  Pain and loss, which were never far from Benae these days, threatened to swamp her. What could she tell him of her life after her parents and brother, Alvan, were so tragically ripped from it? ‘Thank you, Jiseve. It has been a difficult time but you know only too well of the sadness of such events.’

  His face clouded more than she could ever have predicted. ‘I lost my dear wife, the catalyst for this project of mine, over four years ago. She was my soul mate.’ His voice trailed to a whisper and Benae’s heart broke for him.

  ‘What of your daughter? I hear she is absent too?’

  His gaze snapped to her face. ‘Alec
ia was taken by a scoundrel and I will move heaven and earth to retrieve her. She is all I have left.’

  ‘She is in love with this captain?’

  The prince surged to his feet, the chair crashed backwards and cutlery fell from the table. Benae gazed up at him, heart pounding.

  ‘I bid you good day, lady. If you wish to go riding, Squire Ramón will see to it.’ He strode from the room and Benae was left frozen in her seat. The servant waiting just inside the door smiled at her and averted his eyes. Well, the subject of Princess Alecia was definitely off limits. Why had she listened to Avalin? Family was a ‘safe topic’ indeed. It seemed Avalin had struck a blow without even being present and Benae feared all her good work had been undone.

  Benae left the breakfast room, deep in thought. She might have had a setback with Jiseve but she would not believe all was lost. One silly question could not spell disaster for her future with Jiseve, surely? But she could not dispel the seed of fear that had settled in her gut.

  ‘Oh!’ she said, coming to an abrupt halt against a broad chest. She found herself looking into the deep blue eyes of the delectable Ramón Zorba. ‘Squire,’ she murmured, holding his gaze longer than she should have. Perhaps he would prove a timely distraction?

  ‘Lady Branasar,’ the squire said, his features flushing a deep red as his eyes dipped to her hands on his chest.

  There was something about this one, something special. She would dearly love to explore the possibility that they could be friends, perhaps more than friends. But that was not the reason for her visit and she had to remember that.

  ‘I trust you slept well.’ He frowned as he made the comment, as if it brought unwelcome memories. Did the shadows beneath his eyes tell the tale of a restless night? He was so complex, intriguing, beguiling. Suddenly mischief filled her heart.

  ‘I slept well, thank you, squire.’ She fixed him with a long, assessing look. ‘And the scenery is so spectacular here, I think I will enjoy my stay.’ Benae ran her gaze slowly over him, from top to toe.

  The squire tensed under her scrutiny. ‘I am glad you approve, Lady Branasar. Now, if you’ll excuse me.’

  ‘No,’ she said.

  The squire had moved to walk past but now paused, a puzzled frown marring his brow. He would be so much fun to toy with, to manipulate, to do other things with . . .

  I beg your pardon, my lady?’

  ‘You are not excused. I require you to accompany me to the stables to inspect Flaire.’

  Benae was witness to Ramón’s brief internal struggle. The squire really did not wish to spend time with her. A hot blast of anger almost made her gasp out loud. He really wanted nothing to do with her!

  The squire smiled but it never reached his eyes. ‘I would be happy to accompany you, Lady Branasar.’ He offered his arm and they walked together out the front door and across to the stables.

  ‘Did the body of Lord Finus leave this morning for his estate, squire?’ she asked, distracted by the feel of his hard muscles beneath her hand.

  Ramón cleared his throat. ‘It did, my lady.’

  ‘You seem preoccupied.’

  ‘I apologise if I am less than attentive.’

  ‘You have other matters on your mind.’ Out of the corner of her eye, Benae saw him glance at her.

  ‘I have much to concern me at this time, but you are a part of my duties. I would not have you think you are not my priority.’

  Benae turned to face him. ‘Your duties! And are those duties so odious? Keeping the company of beautiful women and seeing to their comfort seems hardly difficult to me.’

  The squire’s eyebrows shot up into his blond forelock. ‘I have angered you,’ he said quietly. ‘I apologise. I could ask someone else to see to your needs.’

  Despite her irritation, Benae smirked at his choice of words. “See to her needs” indeed. If only he knew what she “needed” at that precise moment. She took a deep breath and swallowed the passion that made her heart race. ‘I asked you to accompany me and you I shall have.’

  He nodded and they continued towards the stables. Flaire was munching hay in his spacious stable. He looked content and his dappled grey coat gleamed in the mid-morning sun. Benae reached over the stable door to give her mount a pat on his forehead and he nickered softly. He was such a gentle horse and she had a bond with him that she had never imagined. He read her intentions, her very mood. When she was tranquil, he carried her at a sedate pace, but when her spirit was troubled, he would gallop recklessly, imbuing her with an exhilaration she had found nowhere else.

  Flaire hung his head over the edge of the door and Benae rested her forehead on his. They stood thus, breathing each other’s breath, listening to each other’s heartbeat. Benae felt her racing heart slow to match Flaire’s steady beat.

  ‘You beautiful thing,’ she said. ‘We will ride together tomorrow.’ She sent the horse a mind-picture of them galloping together through a meadow and heard his joyful nicker in her mind.

  The squire cleared his throat. ‘You must have great affection for him.’

  Benae wrenched her mind from Flaire’s and turned. The horse stamped his foot. He could be a jealous friend. ‘I raised him from a foal. Everything he knows, I taught him. And he has been my only companion since I lost my family.’ Her voice caught on the last words and she stalked past Ramón and out of the stable. He would not see her cry!

  Ramón was soon at her side. ‘Lady, I seem to make a habit of upsetting you. I am sorry.’

  His azure eyes were so earnest; she knew his words were sincere. A powerful urge to kiss him overtook her, but that would be forward, even for her. Instead she smiled. ‘Please call me Benae.’

  ‘It is not proper.’

  ‘I insist,’ she said quietly, holding his gaze.

  Ramón nodded. ‘But not in public. The prince would definitely not approve.’

  Benae smiled. He was so stiff. She would like to shake his rigid control and she knew she was capable if given the opportunity.

  ‘Shall we return to the castle?’ Ramón asked, offering his arm.

  Benae was not ready to return to the confines of the castle, where all she would do was worry about her mistake with the prince. ‘I should like to see the small castle park. Could you show me?’

  Ramón inclined his head but frowned. Oh, she must change that! All she was to him was a job. He seemed not to have the slightest interest in her as a woman. Her stomach lurched as a terrible thought occurred to her. Could Ramón be interested in men? No, she just would not believe that the female population could be denied so beautiful a specimen.

  He led her under the trees and Benae spied a bench under a huge old oak. She strode to it and sat, patting the bench beside her. Ramón sat stiffly, his eyes scanning the nearby foliage, his right hand resting on his sword hilt.

  ‘You suspect danger even here, Ramón? I can call you that, can I not?’

  ‘Yes . . . Benae, and yes, I do suspect danger, even this close to the palace. After the events surrounding the disappearance of Princess Alecia, we have realised extra vigilance is required.’ Again a cloud dimmed his magnificent eyes.

  ‘Forgive me for being blunt, Ramón, but I notice you are particularly affected when you mention the princess. Why is that? Do you hold yourself responsible for her disappearance?’ Oh, that was blunt; perhaps too blunt.

  Ramón rose and strode around the small clearing, his eyes everywhere – everywhere but upon her. ‘I do hold myself responsible for the loss of the princess.’ He stopped and faced her, his gaze wild.

  Benae stared. Something was not right. She did not understand. ‘Why would you feel responsible? Were you in charge of security?’

  Ramón turned away. ‘No.’

  ‘Then how?’ She gasped as an idea occurred to her. ‘You are in love with her?’

  Ramón spun back, a look of horror on his face. ‘This really is none of your business, lady.’

  ‘But that is it, isn’t it? You love Princess Alecia. What wi
ll you do?’

  His jaw tensed and he frowned at her. ‘I am doing all I can to find her but it is difficult when Prince Zialni has forbidden me to be a part of the search.’

  Benae stood and reached for his hands, her fingers brushing the calluses on his palms. ‘I am sorry. That must be difficult for you. How long have you loved her?’

  ‘Does that matter?’

  ‘Tell me anyway,’ Benae said, trying to get as much information from him as she could before he shut the door on his feelings.

  ‘Ever since I first saw her, back in Wildecoast, before I ever came to Brightcastle. She is beautiful, but more than that, she is brave and stands up for what she believes in. She did not go meekly to Lord Finus as her father willed, but fought as best she could. And I allowed it all to happen. All of it.’ The last was said in a whisper, as if he had forgotten Benae was there.

  ‘Ramón,’ His eyes again met hers and the pain in them speared her heart. He put on a brave face but inside he was hurting and angry and it was burning him up. ‘None of this is your fault.’

  ‘You don’t know anything!’ He pulled his hand from hers and stepped backwards.

  ‘You did all you could.’

  ‘I did not, but I will not make that mistake again. Alecia was smitten by Vard Anton. She left willingly but even so, I could have prevented it—’ Ramón’s mouth snapped shut. ‘I should not be speaking of this.’

  Benae pushed back the angry words that threatened to leap from her tongue. She did not know him well enough to push this, not yet. She had all the information she needed for now. Ramón distanced himself because he was in love with another woman. It made perfect sense. ‘Let us return to the castle.’

  ‘As you wish, lady.’

  ‘I “wish” for you to call me Benae. Please do so.’

  He hesitated, his sensual, kissable lips pursed, but he nodded.

  Benae gave her head a small shake. He was stubborn, this man; perhaps more so than she, but at least she knew the reason for his distance now. He held a torch for Alecia and that was his choice, but Benae would do her best to make him see that his love for the princess would never be returned. The niggling question of why she wanted to do that, Benae pushed aside.