Recipe for Love

by Carol Lynne

  Ethan grinned. “Where else would I be?”

  Chapter Seven

  “I’m going to the gym to walk on the treadmill,” Erico told his mom.

  Rosa glanced up from the book she was reading. “Don’t overdo it.”

  Erico rolled his eyes. “Promise.”

  Stepping outside, Erico took a deep breath. He loved his mom to pieces, but she was starting to get on his nerves. It seemed she was either nagging about his poor eating habits or asking probing questions about Jay.

  He climbed into his SUV and pulled out of the driveway. Diet questions he could handle, but he still didn’t know what the hell was going on with Jay. Erico had spoken to Jay twice in the four days he’d been home from the hospital and each time Jay seemed distracted.

  Pulling into The Gym’s parking lot, Erico parked next to Mario’s pickup. He hoped his friend wasn’t teaching a class because he could sure use some advice.

  Gym bag in hand, he walked into the building and looked around. He spotted Rio in his normal spot perched on a stool at the juice counter. “Mario busy?”

  Rio set his glass down. “He’s working with Ethan in room three.”

  “You know when he’ll be finished?” Erico asked.

  Rio glanced at the big clock on the wall. “Another ten minutes or so.”

  Erico held up his bag. “I’m gonna change. Steer him my way when you see him.”

  “Will do.”

  He nodded to Gill as he passed the free-weights. The locker room was empty, so he found a locker and started stripping out of his clothes. Erico sat on the bench and took off his shoes before dressing in his normal gym wear of shorts, T-shirt and running shoes.

  Once he was dressed, he continued to sit there, finally giving in and grabbing his phone. He punched in Jay’s number and waited.

  “Hello?” Jay mumbled into the phone.

  “Did I wake you?” Erico glanced at the clock. What the hell was Jay doing still in bed at twelve-thirty?

  “Yeah, but that’s okay. I need to get up for work anyway. How’re you feeling?” Jay asked.

  “Evidently better than you if you’re sleeping in this late. Are you sick?”

  “No. Just tired,” Jay answered.

  “Mom’s going home tomorrow afternoon. I was wondering if you wanted to come by after you get off work?” Erico wrapped his knuckles against the wooden bench as he waited for Jay’s answer.

  “Uhh, well, I can’t tomorrow night, but I’m on day shift Sunday. I could come by after that if you’d like?”

  Erico pulled the phone away from his ear and glanced at the display to make sure he was indeed talking to the same man he’d spent a fantastic amount of time with only a few days earlier. “What’s going on, Jay?”

  “Nothing. I mean, I’m sorry. I’m just really busy right now.”

  “I miss you,” Erico admitted.

  There was silence for several moments. “I miss you, too. I promise I’ll do everything I can to get over there on Sunday evening. Would you please tell your mom goodbye for me?”

  Although Jay had said the words, they still didn’t feel right to Erico. He wondered what was really going on with Jay. Mario was the one who’d told Erico not to put pressure on Jay, but he was suddenly afraid he’d lose any chance at something more if he didn’t do something soon.

  “I thought I’d take Mama to O’Brien’s tonight for dinner. I need to stop by The Canoe anyway and get the receipt totals. I’ve decided to start catching up on the books while I’m here with nothing else to do.”

  “Will it be your first time at The Canoe since you’ve been gone?”

  “Yes. I promised the doctor I’d stay completely out of the place for at least a week.” Erico chuckled. “I guess he knows me too well.”

  Stress was something Erico knew he’d have to learn to deal with. He hoped having Francois at the restaurant would help.

  “So you’re coming to O’Brien’s afterwards? Why don’t you just eat at The Canoe?” Jay asked.

  “Because you won’t be at The Canoe. I wasn’t just blowing smoke up your ass when I said I missed you.”

  Erico could hear Jay breathing on the other end of the phone. “Is that okay?” Erico asked.

  “Yes,” Jay said in a voice so soft Erico barely heard it. “It’ll be nice to see you.”

  The locker room door opened and Mario stepped in. Erico held up his finger to Mario and returned his attention to Jay. “I’ll look forward to it.”

  “Me, too.” Jay hung up, and Erico brushed his lips over his phone.

  “Jay?” Mario asked, taking a seat next to Erico.

  “Yeah. I’m taking my mom to O’Brien’s for dinner.”

  “Sudden craving for food you shouldn’t be eating?” Mario teased.

  “Don’t worry. I’ve learned my lesson the hard way. My days of rich sauces and fried foods are over.”

  Mario suddenly sobered. “There’s something you need to know, but I’m not the person who should be telling you.”

  The first thing that popped into Erico’s head was Jay. Had he moved on to someone else? Is that why he didn’t have time to call or come over to his house? Developing feelings for someone was one thing, but Erico refused to be played the fool. “Tell me.”

  “Francois isn’t working out. He’ll do until you’re cleared to return to work, but you need to start looking for a replacement,” Mario informed Erico.

  “What? Why didn’t Jay tell me? I specifically asked him to keep an eye on things.” Had Jay been too preoccupied to even do that much for him?

  “Because Jay’s paranoid you’ll have another heart attack if he tells you. He’s tried to take care of the problem on his own,” Mario explained.

  “How?” The thought of Jay fighting off Francois’ advances while trying to help the restaurant had Erico seeing red.

  Mario must have noticed the sudden change in Erico’s demeanour. He put his hand on Erico’s shoulder and squeezed. “See? This is exactly the reason no one has said anything to you. You’ve got to learn to calm the fuck down.”

  “What has Francois done?” Erico ground out between clenched jaws.

  “Nothing huge, I promise. Other than being a Grade A asshole. Jay caught him serving frozen pasta and canned sauce.”

  “What? You think that’s not a big deal? Francois is a highly qualified chef. What the hell’s he thinking serving frozen pasta in my restaurant?” Erico felt a vein in his forehead begin to pulse. He stood and began to walk around the locker room, trying to use every technique the psychologist had taught him for dealing with stress.

  Fuck it. “I’m never going to be the kind of guy who doesn’t get pissed off when something goes wrong. I am what I am.” A thought struck him. “Is this why Jay’s been avoiding me?”

  Mario shrugged. “Probably one of the reasons. I think overall he’s just confused about his feelings. Mix that into the mess at the restaurant he’s been trying to handle and it’s no wonder he’s been avoiding you.”

  “What’s he been doing at the restaurant?” Erico asked.

  “Jay’s been going in after hours to make the pasta and sauce. I think the hours are starting to catch up with him though. He’s been really out of sorts the last few days, and I know Ethan’s worried about him.”

  Ethan. The guy already despised him. Erico wondered what kind of bullshit he was whispering in Jay’s ear. “I’ll go talk to Jay. There’s no reason he should be picking up Francois’ slack.”

  “Just do me a favour and don’t let him see you upset. He’s been busting his ass to keep you from this, don’t undo all his hard work with one conversation,” Mario said with an understanding smile on his face.

  The thought of Jay going to such extremes to keep the truth from him, made Erico feel better about the state of their relationship. Surely Jay wouldn’t care so much about Erico’s health if his feelings only extended to fucking.

  “I’ll hold my temper for the person who deserves it.” Erico pulled his regu
lar clothes out of the locker and started undressing.

  “You might want to hire a new sous chef first.” Mario walked towards the door, giving Erico privacy to change.

  As he pulled on his jeans, Erico contemplated his choices. He knew if he continued to let Francois work at The Canoe, it wouldn’t do his stress level any good. Maybe it wasn’t a sous chef he needed in the first place. Erico began to check through everything at the restaurant that stressed him out. At the top of the list was the paperwork involved in owning his own business. The more he thought about it, the clearer things became.

  He left the locker room with a clear plan as to how to turn his life around.

  * * * *

  “Order up,” Jay told Kitty through the pass-through window.

  He pulled the next slip of paper down and smiled. Baked chicken no skin and dry side salad. Jay walked to the swinging door and looked out over the crowd. He spotted Erico sitting by himself in a booth. Jay wondered where Rosa was.

  He went back to work and quickly prepared Erico’s dinner. He was pleased to see no other orders had come in while he’d worked. Jay decided to hand deliver Erico’s meal and stopped by the bar to make sure it was okay with Sean.

  “Do you mind if I take a short break? I’m all caught up with the orders,” he added.

  “Sure. If something else comes in, I’ll send Kitty after you.” Sean winked.

  Jay had finally broken down and explained to his boss why he’d been so tired the last several days. Unlike most of Cattle Valley, Sean seemed happy for Jay once Jay had assured his boss he didn’t plan on quitting and going to work at The Canoe.

  “Hey,” Jay said, setting Erico’s food on the table. “Where’s Rosa?”

  Jay sat down across from Erico. Damn, it was good to see the handsome man’s face. He’d missed Erico more than he wanted to admit, even to himself. Jay suddenly wished he was alone with the guy instead of in a crowded restaurant.

  “I told her I needed to talk to you in private,” Erico answered.

  Jay grinned and glanced around the room. “Not very private.”

  Erico smiled back and shrugged. “It’s the best I could do.” Erico reached over and ran his fingertips over Jay’s cheek. “You look tired.”

  “Maybe I’m coming down with something,” Jay was quick to say.

  “Maybe you’re just overextending yourself,” Erico shot back, his voice softer than Jay was used to.

  Jay began to wonder if Erico knew. The expression on the man’s face gave him away more than words. “Have you been by The Canoe?”

  Erico nodded. “I fired Francois this afternoon. I came by here to talk to you first, but you looked swamped, so I decided to wait.”

  Jay’s eyes closed. He wondered if Erico was upset with him over the deception. “Are you mad?”

  “Hell yes I’m mad, but not at you.” Erico stood and rounded the table to sit next to Jay. “Thank you for doing what you could. I’m sorry you were put into that position in the first place.”

  Jay leant his head against Erico’s shoulder. “What’re you going to do now?”

  “Cook. It’s what I do. It makes me happy.”

  As close as he was, Jay couldn’t help himself. He placed a kiss on Erico’s jaw. “It’s too early for that. Maybe you should just shut down for another week.”

  “I closed up after I got Francois the hell out of there, but I’ll reopen for dinner tomorrow. I’m fine, really. I’ve decided to shorten the hours for another week or so while I try to find a manager, but then it’ll be back to business as usual.”

  Jay pressed closer against Erico’s side. God, he’d missed Erico’s warmth. “What about a sous chef?”

  Erico wrapped his arm around Jay and kissed him. “I’ve decided I don’t need one. That’s why I’m going to look for a manager. I’ll let someone else deal with the paperwork and employees. That’ll leave me free to cook.” Erico kissed Jay again. “There’s nothing stressful about cooking for me.”

  Jay put his hand on Erico’s thigh and squeezed. “Sounds like you’ve done a lot of thinking lately.”

  “I have.” Erico glanced up as Kitty came to the table.

  “Sorry, sweetie, but I have a double burger with fries waiting for you,” Kitty said in an apologetic tone.

  “No problem. Thanks, Kitty.” Jay looked back at Erico. “Well, since I don’t have to make pasta anymore, maybe I can come by when I get off shift tomorrow.”

  Before sliding out of the booth, Erico cupped the side of Jay’s face. “I know you’re afraid I’m going to hurt you, but I need you to give me a chance to prove I won’t.”

  Jay pressed his cheek further against Erico’s palm. “I’ll try.”

  * * * *

  Jay stepped into the mayor’s office and smiled at Carol. “Hi. Can I steal your Boy Friday for a few minutes?”

  Carol grinned at Ethan. “Sure. He’s not due to give me a back massage for another thirty minutes.”

  Ethan rolled his eyes and got out from behind his desk. “You were so much nicer before you got pregnant.”

  Carol tilted her head back and laughed. “You’re such a liar.”

  Ethan chuckled. “Yeah, I am.”

  Jay doubted he’d ever get used to the relationship Ethan had with Carol. Although Carol was only about ten years older than Ethan, she treated him more like a son than a co-worker. Jay didn’t begrudge Ethan that. He knew his best friend had grown up without a mother, so he figured the guy was due a little maternal attention.

  They walked outside the office to the staircase that went up to the other city administrative offices. Jay took a seat on one of the steps. “I thought you should know I’m going to continue seeing Erico.”

  Ethan, who was leaning with his arm against the banister refused to look at Jay. “I figured as much.”

  “You did?”

  “Sure. You wouldn’t have worked all those hours at The Canoe if you didn’t really like the guy.”

  Jay studied Ethan to see if he saw disappointment in his friend. He was taken aback by the unspoken anger in Ethan’s expression.

  “I really want this to work,” Jay added.

  “I know you do.” Ethan sighed and sat on the step beside Jay. “More than anyone else I know, you deserve to be happy. I just don’t think he’s the kind of guy you need.”

  Even though they never talked about it, Jay knew Randy’s abuse had genuinely affected Ethan. It may not have been his best friend who’d received the blows from Randy’s fists, but Ethan’s sense of love had been shattered by Jay’s ex-lover’s actions.

  “I’m not planning to jump into a serious relationship blindly. I’ve just decided to open myself enough to see if it’s even a possibility.”

  “And the bruises I saw on your back? Are those part of opening yourself?” Ethan asked.

  Jay slapped his forehead. “Is that what all this is about? You think Erico’s already gotten rough with me?”

  “I know what I saw, Jay. Don’t try and make excuses for him like you did Randy.”

  Jay didn’t know whether to feel insulted or touched that Ethan continued to worry about him. He stood and lifted up the back of his shirt. “The bruises and scrapes running down the bottom of my spine are from me slipping on the ice. The other three you’re probably talking about are bite marks.”

  Jay pulled his shirt back down and turned to stare at his friend. “I’m sure you’ll think I’m totally sick and fucked up, but I like it rough. I like to feel a man slamming his cock into me. It has nothing to do with Erico abusing me. Believe me, I learned my lesson with Randy. And if God forbid, Erico ever lays a hand on me out of anger, I’ve got plenty of friends in this town to turn to for help.”

  Ethan’s jaws were still firmly clenched when Jay finished. “Why didn’t I know that about you?”

  Jay threw up his hands. “Because you’re my best friend, not my lover.”

  “I just don’t understand how someone who’s been abused can enjoy…” Ethan shoo
k his head. “You know? The stuff you like.”

  Jay shook his head and walked towards the door. “I don’t need to explain that part of myself. Either you’re my friend or not. How I enjoy getting fucked shouldn’t enter into it.”

  Jay walked out of the building. It was no wonder he’d always kept part of himself a secret. If his best friend could look at him that way, what would other people think of him if they knew?

  “Jay!” Ethan yelled from the top of the steps.

  Jay turned. “What?”

  “I love you no matter what. You know that, right?”

  Jay knew he couldn’t stay mad at Ethan. “Yeah. I know.”

  * * * *

  Erico walked into the pub and waved at Jay through the pass-through window.

  “Almost finished up here,” Jay called.

  Erico nodded and took a seat at the bar. “A glass of iced tea, please.”

  “Caffeine?” Sean questioned.

  Erico rolled his eyes. It seemed since his health became public knowledge everyone in town had become food Nazis. He’d even been barred from the bakery. “I’ve given up liquor, my favourite foods, and I haven’t had sex in over a week. I think I’m due a glass of tea, don’t you?”

  Laughing, Sean passed Erico a glass. “Better drink it before Jay sees it. He’s been on my butt for two days about adding more health conscious items to the menu.”

  Erico thrilled at the statement. It was amazing how something so simple could make him fall even more in love with Jay. How many twenty-year-old men thought about planning healthy menus? “He really is amazing.”

  Sean smiled. “I’m a jaded bastard, so most people don’t impress me, but Jay is…special.”

  Before Erico could respond, Sean leant over the bar to stare him in the eyes. “Make sure before you proceed that you’re serious about him.”

  Erico wasn’t put off by Sean’s warning. He’d noticed in the last couple of days how protective everyone in the town was of Jay, and rightly so. Jay had blown into Cattle Valley a scared man of nineteen, trying desperately to find a safe haven where he could be himself and the town had embraced him immediately.