by Lena North
I was almost halfway to the barn when the screen door slammed, and I moved toward my bike instead, escape the only thing on my mind. Shutting myself down the way I’d done was unsafe, and I knew well where I’d be if I went too far, but I couldn’t handle how Olly had looked at me. I needed to get away so I could allow myself to feel again. The keys to my bike were in my pocket, and the basics were in my saddlebags already. Wilder could send me the rest, or throw it away for all I cared.
When I turned, Olly came marching toward me with long, angry strides. The others were still on the porch. He suddenly reached behind his back, and to my complete astonishment, he pulled out a small gun. I blinked and wondered if he was angry enough to shoot me, but he just kept walking, and then he fired four quick shots.
Straight into my bike.
I stared at the black cruiser as it fell to its side, unable to believe what he’d just done, and lost some of the tight grip I’d had on my mind. Screams were coming from the house, and running feet approached, but I turned to Olly.
“You killed my bike,” I wheezed.
“Yeah, I did,” he barked. “Now get back inside.”
“No,” I said.
“Get the hell back inside,” he expanded his command. “You’re apparently some kind of genius on top of everything else and you know shit that’ll help catch the maniac we’re chasing. You’ve been helping us for years, so get in there and do it.”
“Why?” I pushed, wanting him to say that he wanted me to stay.
I wanted him to say that he was angry but we’d get over this and we’d be fine again.
He glared and me and roared, “I’ve had enough family dying, don’t need more of that shit. I want the rest of them alive, and if you can make it happen then I can deal with you being here, so get back inside!”
I closed my eyes briefly, and the fact that me being there was something he would have to deal with echoed in my head. My worst fears had come to life, and there wasn't anything I could do about it, so I sighed and straightened my back. He was offensive and unpleasant, but I'd come there to help them, and I should at least share what I knew and set up proper communication channels. I’d manage to push through a few hours of discussions. At least, I hoped I would.
“Okay,” I said and walked back toward the house.
When I saw the look on Jinx’ face, the hold I had on my emotions slipped even further, and sharp pain cut through me. I clamped it down quickly and kept walking.
“Right,” I said with a calm smile. “Let’s go inside and talk things through, shall we?”
Chapter Eight
Afraid
“I don’t know where to start,” I told the living room in general.
Knowing how risky it was to close down the way I did, I opened up some parts of my mind again, and it hurt. I was also tired and wondered if I could ask for a cup of coffee, but one glance on Olly’s emotionless face told me I’d better start talking.
“Maybe I should summarize things a little, and we take it from there?” Jinx said, and I smiled gratefully at her.
She smiled back, and there was another second where I lost the grip I had on my brain, but the calm determination in her eyes calmed me down.
“You started in the research program when you were just a kid,” she said, I nodded.
“Ten,” I confirmed.
“And during that time, you met and spent time with Byron and Cameron Strachlan, Tommy, Jamie, and Domenico. You stayed in the program until it was shut down.”
I nodded again.
“You also have the ability to talk to dragonflies, and you sent them out to look for Mary. Do you talk to any other animals?”
“No,” I said, but raised my hand. “Wait.” Then I called out to the bird. “Bird? I need to tell Olly and everyone else we talk. Is it okay? Do you want to tell him first?”
“It’s perfectly okay to tell him. Please inform him I’m hunting for dinner. He can yell at me later.”
I smiled a little and kept my eyes focused on Jinx.
“I found an abused dog and he kind of sent me images, and I talk to Olly’s bird too sometimes.”
The room went dead silent, and I turned to Olly who looked like someone had clubbed him in the head.
“He said to tell you he’s hunting for dinner right now and you can shout at him later.”
“You talk to my bird?” he asked incredulously as if he couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that I’d just shared that I did.
“Yes,” I confirmed.
He looked to the side, and I wondered how many f-bombs he was dropping on the poor animal.
“She’s not lying,” he said, finally.
“Of course not,” I said. “I don't lie.”
He swung his head around so fast I reared back, but Jinx cleared her throat and kept talking.
“How about the rest of your family, do they have the same abilities?”
“No,” I said, but clarified, “They have other abilities, but I am the only one who talks to dragonflies.”
“What abilities?” Wilder asked curiously.
“A little bit of everything,” I said. “Mostly some kind of communication with animals. Some mind-bending and also some telekinesis.”
“Telekinesis?” Wilder asked into the silent room.
“When a person influences a physical system without physical interaction,” Jinx murmured.
“Huh?”
“Moving shit without touching them,” I clarified, and Jinx grinned.
“Exactly,” she snorted.
“Mind-bending?” Hawker asked.
“They’re not very skilled at it,” I said. “Like mild hypnosis, mostly.”
“Okay,” he grunted. “Can you?”
“Not at all,” I said.
“How can we trust that?” he asked.
“Dad,” Wilder snapped, but I raised a hand.
“It’s a relevant question, and it’s reasonable. All I can say is that I don’t know how to do it.” I turned to Dante and asked, “I think you’re in my mind right now?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Fascinating.”
I swallowed, and turned to Jinx, letting her composure steady me again. She took hold of Dante's hand, and they both looked calmly at me. There was a serene, almost regal tranquility around them, and I felt my shoulders relax just a little.
“I should have gone to you instead,” I murmured, and watched Jinx’ face soften.
Everything had gone wrong in the past hour, but I knew without a doubt that I could trust the two of them with everything.
“Take a look around, Dante,” I invited.
Then I closed my eyes and opened my mind as wide as I knew how to, showing him all that was me. Pain hit me immediately, from Olly’s comments but also a lot of other things from my past. I hadn’t known how guilty I’d felt about deceiving the people at Double H, or how much Sven’s grief had hurt me, but I suddenly felt it all. I kept breathing slowly, focusing on the strange feeling of warmth moving around inside my head. After a while, it got softer and felt more like gentle caresses, and then it disappeared. I closed my mind down a little, opened my eyes slowly and smiled at Dante.
“She’s not bending anyone’s mind,” he said, and added with a wry grin, “Caught a few images of Olly in the buff which I could have lived my whole life without seeing, but we’ve nothing to fear from her.”
Olly moved, but Mac spoke up for the first time since Nick had recognized me.
“Mind-bending isn't so strange. In a way, I do it too.”
“What?” I asked.
“You want to flip Olly the bird,” he said with a grin, and I blinked.
His voice was suddenly soft, and warm, and felt a lot like Dante’s brush inside my head. My left hand moved, and I looked down at it. One part of my mind only wanted to do what the beautiful voice told me, but another part realized what was happening and I put the hand back on my lap.
&
nbsp; “Interesting,” I murmured to myself. “It’s like a mix of telekinesis and hypnosis. I wonder if the wavelengths would create a match in a Gorkush-test of the Thalamus.”
“I know,” Jinx said excitedly and leaned forward. “I’ve wondered exactly the same thing, and thought about comparing it to a stringency influence on the Globus Pallidus, or even the –”
“Nigra,” I filled in. “Yes. That would make sense, although –”
I stopped speaking when I realized I’d been caught up in what was going on and I’d forgotten to be careful.
“That’s a cool ability,” I said, looking at Mac with a phony smile.
He was staring at me, and when I glanced around the room, the others were too.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I forgot.”
Then I inhaled and closed myself off a little bit more, hoping I’d seem more normal.
“But,” Jinx said with a frown.
She was about to say something else, but Dante put his hand on her knee, and she straightened. I wondered if they could communicate silently but didn't want to draw more attention to myself, so I remained silent.
“I think we get that you're a genius and that you have paranormal abilities,” Wilder said. “Hacker?” she asked and glanced to the side where Olly was sitting.
“I was bored,” I said.
“What?”
“Logic has always been my thing,” I clarified. “Grandfather gave me a computer. Turns out I was really, really good with computers.” I sighed, and added for emphasis, “Really good.”
“And then you needed something challenging,” Jinx confirmed.
“Yes. I just figured I’d see what was out there.”
“You’ve been helping us,” Hawker said. “For years.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Weird coincidence, really. I met Olly in a chat group, and we became friends. I need to be careful, so I looked into who he was, and when I found traces of your group looking for information about a drug transport, I decided to give him what you needed. It shocked the hell out of me when Wilder got into the mix, and it turned out she was friends with Jinx, though.”
I talked about Olly as if he wasn't around, keeping my voice cold and unemotional, to make things easier for him but also for me. It hurt that he was so angry about a time in my life that I cherished. We’d just been kids, and most of the time we’d goofed around and made stupid jokes, but we’d had fun. I hadn’t had much fun back then so chatting with him had eased my loneliness.
“You met Olly in a chatroom,” Miller said slowly.
“Yes,” I said.
“Chatroom?” he asked again.
“What the hell,” Olly grunted.
“You're not a chatty guy, Olly,” Miller said, and I leaned back, wishing I had an enormous cup of coffee and a few minutes to compose myself.
“I need coffee and a leg-stretch,” Jinx said. “And a bio-break.”
Our eyes met, and I knew she and Dante totally spoke in their minds. He’d heard me and conveyed the message to her.
“Tell Jinx, thanks,” I thought.
She started grinning immediately.
“Bio-break?” Snow asked.
“A biological break,” Jinx clarified. Snow kept watching her with one brow raised, so she clarified even further, “I need to go to the bathroom.”
“Let’s take a few minutes,” Hawker agreed.
I walked out on the back porch and continued down the few steps to the lawn. Then I sat down in the cold, dry grass and breathed. There was silence around me, and I could finally relax a little, let my shoulders drop and open up my mind again. A swarm of dragonflies came to swirl around me. The air was suddenly full of voices, chirping out their displeasure with Olly, their happiness with Jinx, and how pretty they thought Dante was. I leaned my head back and inhaled the energy from their presence, and after a while, I giggled with them. One of them sat down on my hand and twittered a litany of bubbly expletives.
“Annie-pannie. Cutie-pie. Bestest. Lovey. Sweetie…”
“Thank you, my lovelies,” I whispered.
“Amazing,” Nick said, and I turned.
“Oooh-ee!” “Hottiiie,” the dragonflies squealed and swirled around him. “Suh-moking,” one drawled, and the squeals erupted into giggly laughter.
“They’re beautiful,” he murmured.
“They think you’re hot,” I shared, and added in the same drawl as my small friends, “Suh-moking.”
He chuckled and sat down next to me. Jinx came walking with two mugs, gave me one of them, and sat down too. We watched the view in front of us in silence, and I held out a hand to let the dragonflies caress me. They chirped and crooned, and finally, I felt in control again.
“Are you okay?” Jinx asked.
“Of course,” I said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Olly,” Nick murmured. “He was an a –”
“I don’t want to talk about that,” I said, and my belly hurt a little, but I pushed my lips into a smirk. “I met Jamie. He didn’t recognize me.”
“Annie,” Nick started, but Hawker called out to us that we should come back inside, so I got to my feet and started walking.
“Annie,” Nick said again and stopped me with a gentle hand on my shoulder. “You’re somehow shutting yourself down. It isn't healthy.”
“I know,” I said. “But I need it, just for a little while.”
His eyes were almost green when he scrutinized my face, and then he sighed.
“Fair enough,” he said and muttered something that sounded like, “Goddamned fool.”
I wasn’t sure which fool he referred to but felt like one as I walked over to pour myself another cup of coffee before sitting down with the others.
“So,” Wilder said. “You’re a redhead?”
I nodded.
“Cool,” she said casually.
“Not really,” I told her. “Most kids in school called me carrot head.”
“You went to regular school?” Jinx asked, brows high on her forehead.
“Yeah.”
“What about your… geniusness?”
“I shut it down,” I said.
“What?”
“I’m good at… compartmentalizing.”
“So, that’s how –” Dante cut himself off, and when everyone turned to him he just shook his head. “Not talking about her brain,” he murmured. “It’s too personal.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I’m pretty sure I can handle discussing whatever you saw in my head.”
“Right,” Dante said. “I’ve only seen a brain like yours in one other person’s head before.” He turned toward Jinx and shared, “It looks a lot like yours.”
“Brains have a look?” Hawker asked.
“Yeah. Jiminella’s is like a bright and colorful maze, full of intertwining strands of colors… and emotions, I guess. Annie’s has colors too, but they’re separate. Orderly. It’s like they’re neatly tucked into little groups… red in one area, blue another, purple to the side, and so on.”
His face changed subtly, and I leaned forward.
“What?” I asked.
“When Olly messed shit up before, you shut yourself down somehow. We could all hear it, but Annie… I saw it. Literally. It was as if the light went out of some of the colors, and they disappeared. They were back when you let me in to look around, but now –”
“Oh,” I said in looked down on my hands. “Yeah,” I sighed. “I do that, exactly like you tell it. Shit I don’t need, I just turn it off.” I turned toward Nick, “Did it all the time in that place, so it wasn’t as awful for me as it was for the rest of you.”
“You were the Professor’s favorite too,” he mumbled. “It would have made things easier for you.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I guess you would see it like that.”
“Can I ask you something?” Snow asked quietly.
She hadn’t said anything at all u
ntil then and when I calmly met her gaze, it seemed sad more than anything.
“Sure,” I said.
“How did they make you stay in the program?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, knowing well what she meant but stalling for time because I knew the next part would hurt.
“All the others were pushed in various ways to stay. Did your family force you?”
“No,” I said immediately. “My family is fantastic, and if they'd known what happened to us, my grandfather would have –” I bit my lip and restarted, “I made a choice, Snow. It was dumb perhaps, but it was mine to make, and I didn’t tell my family about the research center until much, much later. I was released from it then, but I needed my family, so I told them.”
“I don't –” she started, but Nick cut her off.
“Byron,” he said, and it wasn't a question, but I answered him anyway.
“Yes. By.”
“Byron Strachlan?” Hawker asked slowly.
“He was my best friend,” I said. “I was a chubby, red-haired kid with weird eyes and a brain different from everyone else’s. You can’t know what it’s like.” My breath hitched a little, but I pushed on. I needed them to understand. “Suddenly there's someone who understands what you're saying. Whose brain is exactly like yours, and who… gets it. Byron was such a gift to me, and I would have done anything for him. And I couldn't give him up, so I stayed in the program. I could handle it. He was struggling, but I wasn't, partly because he was shielding me but partly because I shut down what I didn't want them to access.”
“Did you keep in touch with him when it was shut down?”
“Yeah.”
“And then he died,” Jinx said.
“Then he died,” I confirmed, and looked straight at Olly. “It hurt,” I said quietly.
He winced, but his face didn't soften, and I looked away.
“It’s pretty weird to hear that your brain has colors,” I said to Dante.
“Totally,” Wilder butted in, and when our eyes met I knew she tried to help me change the topic.