Darling

by Claudia D. Christian

  Chastened, she dropped her head onto his shoulder. “I am sorry, my lord. Please forgive me.”

  He carried Cassandra back out into her chamber with Lenore following behind. When Cassandra began to speak again, Lord Constantine shushed her. He accepted the proffered robe and wrapped his little human up within its generous folds. Settling onto the chaise, with Cassandra tucked solidly against his side, Lord Constantine dismissed Lenore with a nod.

  Cassandra lay there, quiet as a favored pet but not nearly as content. She awaited his permission to speak again. Her heart thumped a nervous rattle. Knowing he could hear it, she lamented again at being so easily weakened.

  “Why did you become so sad, darling?”

  Tears scalded. She screwed her eyes shut. Cassandra wanted to defy him and remain mute. His leather-clad fingertip brushed against her cheek in warning.

  There’s no hope for it. He will never retreat once he wants to know something.

  “I become very frightened without you, Lord Constantine. I think you will forget me one day. I will disappear if that happens. I know I will.”

  “Silly girl.” He tipped Cassandra’s chin up. Brushing away her tears, he pressed his mouth against hers in a chaste kiss. “I could never forget my darling, dearest, sweetest girl. Didn’t you know? Vampires have extraordinarily sharp memories.”

  Cassandra gripped his overcoat. Rubbing her cheek against the velvety broadcloth material, she swore, “I love you, my lord. I love you so very, very much.”

  “How much do you love me?” he prodded with an indulgent grin.

  Courage pulled back the curtain on her inner morbidity. Cassandra cupped his cheek and confessed, “I love you so much I want to die.”

  Lord Constantine’s humor disappeared. His ethereal face stiffened with disapproval. “Do not say such things, Cassandra. They do not please me.”

  Rebuked, she dropped her hand and buried her face against his wide chest. Sorry she displeased him but not sorry she said the words, Cassandra awaited his lecture.

  It wasn’t long coming.

  “Darling, you mustn’t dirty yourself with those emotions. You are my cherished, pure girl and, as such, you cannot feel these inferior things. Do you understand?”

  He intoxicated her. It would be so easy to agree, to become anything Lord Constantine wanted of her, just so she could continue to be the recipient of his adoration. Wickedness prompted her to honesty.

  “No, I do not understand, my lord. I do not understand at all.” Cassandra’s melancholy, girlish voice refused to be denied—even if it angered her most important person. “I cannot help what I feel for you, Lord Constantine. I do not think it dirty or inferior.”

  He squeezed her once. “Of course not, darling. You could never be either. Forgive me for making it seem I thought that when I do not.”

  “Lord Constantine?”

  “Yes, darling?”

  “When will you make me your Beloved?”

  The vampire smoothed her hair back, fingertips straying to play with the ends of her damp locks. “Why do you ask?”

  Cassandra wiggled until he let her sit up. Placing a hand over her heart, she whispered, “I want to be your Beloved.” He communicated his customary answer before speaking a single word. Frustration made a fool of her.

  “I know you do, precious, but the moment is not right.”

  “Why?”

  Lord Constantine frowned at the high-pitched, demanding query. “I have spoken, Cassandra. Do not question me further.”

  Terrifying rage overtook her. Imagination turned half-truths into lurid facts, leaving Cassandra on the precipice of abandonment. “You do not care for me anymore! I know it to be true!”

  “Darling, you will stop this. I command it.”

  Cassandra scrambled off the chaise, easily fending away his halfhearted attempts to capture her arms. She pointed a shaky finger at him. “You do not see me as a woman, do you? You see me as a pet, as your human pet, and I will not have it!”

  “You are overwrought, darling. Calm yourself.”

  “No! If you will not have me then let me go!”

  “Be silent now.”

  Her vocal cords froze, fallen under his compulsion.

  “Come here.”

  Cassandra’s limbs tightened in preparation for his command. She closed her eyes and fought it, knowing her struggles were for naught.

  “Oh, you are being very disobedient, darling. You will stop your defiance and you will listen to your lord. Come here. Now.”

  Her legs high-stepped back to Lord Constantine, guaranteeing Cassandra a mild dose of humiliation.

  He is so mean! Mocking me by making me walk like a horse. . .

  He allowed a tiny smirk to play about his hard mouth. “If I saw you as my human pet, darling, I would have you walk as befitting my pet. Do you prefer it this way? No? I did not think so.”

  Lord Constantine patted the spot beside him. Cassandra dropped down. Her eyes watered at the subjugation.

  His sadism retreated at the sight of her tears. “Do not cry, darling. I cannot bear for you to be upset. I adore you so. . .” Lord Constantine gathered her back into his arms. “Cassandra, you must never doubt your place by my side. You are my precious girl and I cannot stand for us to have cross words.” Cupping her cheek, he leaned down and feathered his lips across her temple. “Speak, my sweet, and tell me you agree.”

  Cassandra sobbed in reply; heartbroken and left in shameful want.

  “There, there. Do not cry.” Lord Constantine’s tiny kisses marked her cheek, chin, mouth, and shoulder before settling on the smooth curve of her neck. “I cannot stand for you to be unhappy, darling.”

  Goosebumps erupted. Cassandra’s sobs took on a breathy quality as Lord Constantine continued to press his lush mouth against her sensitized skin. His tongue snaked out to taste her and Cassandra felt his large body shudder.

  “Darling, you cannot continue to be so miserable. It kills me. I know what you want. . .what you’ve always wanted.” Lord Constantine’s hand found its way beneath her robe. “I will make you feel better, darling. I promise.”

  His touch shocked Cassandra enough to stop weeping. Despite all their years of familiarity, Lord Constantine had never once caressed her in such an intimate way. Trembling, she parted her legs, hoping, praying, ready to bargain for anything, if only her lord would finally change their interactions.

  Please, please, please!

  “Is this what you want, Cassandra? Tell me.”

  Besotted by the touch of leather against her skin, she sighed, “Yes, my lord. This is what I have always wanted. Always.”

  His eyes flashed crimson. She immediately looked away. Her instinctive reaction apparently gave him much needed control. “I adore you so much I am almost willing to give into damnation.” Lord Constantine squeezed her thigh once. Face tight with tormented lust, he struggled to hold back the beast hiding behind the beautiful mask of a civilized man. Lord Constantine waited until Cassandra looked back up at him. “Almost, but not yet.”

  Lord Constantine removed his hand. Ice descended. Shock made her body numb. “I do not understand, my lord.”

  Pity softened his expression. “I know you do not and I am sorry for it. We cannot do this.”

  “But why?”

  He kissed her softly, silencing her plaintive cry, and whispered, “I will not allow your love for me to become a poisoned thing.”

  3

  Constantine left his human in her chambers with instructions to prepare for their evening out. He had patted Cassandra on the cheek once and forced himself to overlook the devastation bruising her lovely eyes. Constantine promised to entertain her to her heart’s content when they went out. Her wan smile wounded him. It was difficult to leave Cassandra in such somber circumstances. He absolutely hated disappointing her.

  Better to disappoint her than destroy her.

  Constantine scented Cassandra’s companion long before seeing the vampiress. Careful to scho
ol his features back to their placid mask, he wondered what was so important to cause Lenore to seek a private audience with him. Constantine had a sinking feeling it had everything to do with his darling’s uncharacteristic tantrum. Lenore, gracefully deep in curtsey, awaited him in the long hallway leading away from Cassandra’s luxurious rooms.

  Constantine stopped before her. “You may rise, Lady Lenore.”

  Skipping the formal speech of thanking him for his time, she promptly mutilated Constantine’s world with two words.

  “She knows.”

  “Knows what exactly?”

  “She knows of the others you have kept.”

  Constantine’s stomach dropped. Rank guilt consumed him, seeking to force him to turn around and beg Cassandra’s forgiveness. His vow to keep his human safe prevented him from making that impetuous mistake.

  I must keep my head if I am to rectify this.

  Calmness made a cold lie of Constantine’s turbulent emotions. “I see. How did she find out?”

  “I do not know yet. I will discover it.”

  “What was her reaction?”

  “Despair.”

  Constantine blinked slowly. His mind whirled like a mad dervish. “I never wanted her to know for a reason. Those women are of no consequence. I cannot allow it to affect her.”

  “My lord, please forgive me for bringing you such news but it already has.”

  “No.” The denial slashed the air. “Cassandra cannot be sullied by this. She is the one thing most precious to me and I cannot lose her.”

  Lenore pressed forward, determined to make her liege understand the severity of the situation. “She sees this as a betrayal, my lord. She believes this to be proof of your lack of intention towards her. She believes you will abandon her. I fear what will happen if Mistress Cassandra continues to believe you do not hold her in the highest esteem.”

  He blindly stared at the lavish surroundings, all chosen with the sole purpose of pleasing Cassandra. Agony liquidized his aloof posture.

  “She is my entire world. How can she believe I would ever set her aside? I have adored her since I first held her in my arms. I have protected her with all of my power. I have suppressed my birthright, my sacred duty, to keep fear far from her. How can she even think I would do this for anyone else?”

  “As a human, Mistress Cassandra cannot differentiate between the attention you give her and the carnal association you give another.”

  “I keep myself away from her because she is still a child!”

  “My lord, that child would be over 400 years old if she were subject to a human’s linear time.”

  Constantine tightened his fists. It frightened him to think of how Cassandra would have been dust centuries ago if he hadn’t brought her into his world. Even now Constantine knew he was only delaying the inevitable. “I cannot risk making her my Beloved.”

  “She is physically ready and has been for over three centuries mortal time.” Lenore’s black eyes sparkled with amusement before shuttering flat. “I also believe my lord is finding that out for himself?”

  Constantine was quite grateful he couldn’t blush like a human. “She is becoming harder to resist.”

  “It is not my place to ask, my lord—”

  “But you will anyway,” Constantine sighed. “Understand you are to be given my confidence because you have been Cassandra’s keeper for all these years and I know you care for her.”

  “I do, my lord.” Lenore’s gaze lost its hard edge. “I wish her to be happy, my lord. You are the only one truly able to do that.”

  “Am I really?” Constantine shook his head. Defeat overtook him. “You know how unstable these relationships usually become, Lady Lenore. Obsession replaces the emotion of love between a vampire and a human, keeping them locked in a miserable echo of what they once had.”

  “It does not have to be that way between you and the Mistress.”

  The questions spilled out, hard and antagonistic. “What if it does? What if I surrender to Cassandra, make her my Beloved, and then we become a nightmarish caricature of who we are now? What if I cannot control my feelings for Cassandra and they become dangerous to her? What then, Lady Lenore? What will happen to my darling?”

  “My lord, I fear you are overstating the possibilities—” Lenore argued even though she had warned Cassandra of the very same thing.

  Incensed and drawn into his grim speculations, Constantine snapped viciously, “I will tell you what will happen! If I allow Cassandra to die she will reincarnate, hating me as much as she loves me, demanding satisfaction for the damage I inflicted upon her during this lifetime. If I have truly sinned against her, Cassandra will come back with a Hate Mark—guaranteeing misery will haunt us both until one or the other dies. I cannot take that chance, Lady Lenore. Not with her. Not until I am assured that Cassandra’s feelings for me will not rot and my feelings for her will not stray into madness.”

  Lenore’s emerald gown rippled as she approached him. It reminded Constantine of a woman’s heart—a thing of beauty, to be sure, but always carrying darkness within its exquisite folds. And as a man, foolish creature that he was, Constantine determined to look beneath, to see if there was something other than perverse passion, only to find more questions than answers.

  My folly is to think it can be different between Cassandra and I. History has shown it will not be.

  “My lord, you cannot continue this way much longer. You must make a decision regarding the young Mistress. I have done as much as I can to protect and shield her from your dalliances, understanding you see those creatures for what they are, but also knowing how much it would destroy Mistress Cassandra to learn of their existence.”

  Constantine again suffered the desire to rush back to his darling and beg her forgiveness. He wanted to explain it to her but knew he couldn’t. To do so would introduce other questions Constantine was not ready to answer.

  “They are but a means to an end. They signify nothing to me other than sustenance. I do not treat them unkindly but I never have tender feelings for them either. Their names, faces, have no more meaning than those of Cassandra’s meals.”

  “I understand, my lord. However, she does not. She feels you prefer them over her.”

  “Which is absolutely not true!”

  “Mistress Cassandra has consciously been ready to be your Beloved for the last human century. She cannot be placed in this unnatural stasis for much longer.”

  Constantine’s shoulders dropped an inch. His cheeks hollowed. “You think me selfish?”

  “I think you scared.”

  He barked rudely in scornful laughter. “Amazing, is it not? I am a Pureblood vampire of noble lineage and king of all you survey. I bring about my subjects greatest fears, inspire their nightmares to come to life, and here I am caught in my own noose.” He slammed his fist into the richly paneled wall. Constantine’s nostrils flared; the only outward sign of his suffering.

  I want it to be different between us. I want her love for me to remain pristine. I want her to see me as her savior—not her tormentor.

  He pulled his arm back. The wood healed itself within moments. He wondered if his darling would be so lucky.

  “My lord puts Mistress Cassandra’s safety above his own happiness. Perhaps she would understand if you would but explain it to her.”