Journey to Her Dreams

by Iris Blobel

  Please, someone help me, please, she sobbed. Please, someone.

  She heard him coming towards the room, and quickly wiped her face with a tissue and carefully placed her little teddy bear back into the rear of the drawer underneath her pink and yellow baby blanket.

  “How about I prepare us a nice dinner?” he asked with contentment.

  Her faint smile held a touch of sadness and pain. It was just as painful on her lips as what had just happened between them. Yet, she smiled. “Sounds good,” was all she was able to whisper.

  Hollie woke up in a sweat—as usual. Her breathing was deep and fast as she cried and her body ached. What was this? Why did she keep dreaming of this woman? And who on earth was she?

  Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she fell back onto her pillow. These dreams were draining her to the point where she couldn’t think straight anymore due to lack of a decent sleep.

  ****

  “Did you pack the drinks as well?” Hollie asked.

  “Yes, all is packed. I even got the nonalcoholic drinks for you. And your favourite dips.” Alex rolled her eyes. She knew she would be bombarded with the list of did-you-pack questions.

  “I wish you would just trust me, Hollie Anderson.”

  “I’m sorry. It’s just a habit I’ve taken on from Dad,” Hollie apologised. She gave her friend a hug.

  “Well, let’s go then.”

  The friends were meeting at Launceston Cataract Gorge for a barbeque. The gorge was only a short drive from Alex’s place. They had all liked the idea of having their pre-Christmas party at the beautiful reserve, which offered barbeques, but also a little café. Due to the unusually warm weather, the idea of having a pool right there also had appealed to most.

  “Have you handed in your application yet?” Alex asked.

  Hollie worked in the advertising department with a little local newspaper in Launceston, and just a few days earlier a vacancy had come up, with the assistant to the Head of Advertising leaving. She was over the moon when she was asked to apply for the position.

  She hesitantly shook her head. “No. I had no idea it could be so hard. I want to get this right. I more than want this job, but I don’t seem to be able to sell myself.” She sighed. “You’d think that working in advertising I would have a little bit of a clue of how to present myself to be the best possible candidate.”

  “When do you have to hand it in by?”

  “Just before Christmas. I still have a few weeks.”

  “Let me know if you want me to help. I could sell you all right.” They both laughed, knowing Alex could sell ice to the Eskimos.

  After Hollie parked her car in a nice shady spot, she and Alex grabbed their bags. They spotted Ben coming towards them.

  Hollie rolled her eyes—he was wearing bright orange and white board shorts, his dark brown AC/DC T-shirt, and well-worn sandals. She sometimes wondered how he could hold a job as a primary teacher, but the kids loved him.

  “Hello, mister,” Alex greeted him with a quick wave and a hint of flirt in her voice.

  He acknowledged the girls with kisses on their cheeks. “How’re things?”

  “You’re early, considering you’ve had to come all the way from Devonport.”

  With a boyish smile, he replied, “I stayed at Davo’s last night. I was supposed to stay at Mum and Dad’s, but that last beer was just one too many.”

  “Doesn’t sound like you at all to have a beer too many.” Hollie handed him one of the bags for the barbeque and noticed Alex staring at him. She waved a hand in front of her face. “Hey, earth to Alex.”

  Alex rolled her eyes and quickly grabbed one of the bags.

  Ben moved a bit closer to Hollie. “Hey, just to let you know, Jeremy is here as well. He apologised to Davo all week, and the old man finally gave in and let him come when he promised to leave you be, or at least apologise to you,” he said quietly.

  Hollie stood up straight. “You’re kidding me.” With a few words, her anticipation for the party dissolved in an instant. She swallowed her misery.

  The last couple of days had been an emotional roller coaster for her. Hollie wasn’t entirely sure whether she had overreacted or if Jeremy had, indeed, come on to her too fast. Fact was, she wasn’t ready to face him yet, because not only was she hurt, but embarrassed as well.

  She felt Ben’s stare on her and sighed. Then she noticed his hand in a gesture of dismissal. “Girlfriend, don’t you worry about him. Davo will keep an eye on him.” He raised his eyebrows at her as he casually shrugged. “Honestly, I'm not sure what happened, but he’s not a bad guy. He came along to the cricket the other day. I thought he was okay.” Placing his arm around her, he added, “C’mon. Don’t let him ruin a beautiful day like this for you.”

  Hollie choked back a laugh. “Jerk, you get along with everyone who plays cricket or footy and drinks beer.”

  “Now, now, now. No need to be nasty.” He winked at her.

  “He’s right. Just ignore him,” Alex added.

  Nodding, Hollie agreed with her friends. He wasn’t worth the hassle.

  ****

  Even though it was overcrowded with tourists, Hollie liked Cataract Gorge. She loved watching the water as it made its way through the steep cliffs into the basin. The city council did well, providing a pool near the picnic area, as the basin was too cold and too deep for any inexperienced swimmer.

  “One day we have to make an effort and have a go with the chairlift,” she suggested.

  Alex shook her head. “Yep, one day we will.”

  Hollie laughed. She knew her best friend couldn’t stand heights. It would be impossible to convince her to join.

  Hollie was able to smell the meat on the barbeque even against the air filled with the mist from the river rapids, the scent of the bush land opposite the basin and—unfortunately—the smell of the pool water. Her stomach started to rumble at the thought of a nice steak with some salad. She walked over to the wooden tables, which were already covered with all sorts of salads, breads, and sauces, to place the food she brought with the rest.

  She turned—and had a good cough. The smoke from the barbeque was blowing over and engulfed her. So much for the idyllic barbeque!

  Davo came over to meet them. “Hi girls, how are we today?” He gave both girls a kiss on the cheek.

  “Great,” Alex replied. “I look forward to a nice afternoon eating and drinking.”

  “That sounds very much like you.” Davo laughed. “By the way, Hollie, Jeremy is here, too.” But before he was able to say anything else, Hollie responded, “It’s okay. Ben has already told me. I think we can all be quite mature about it and have a great afternoon.”

  His expression stilled and grew serious. “He’s not a bad guy, sugar. You two just had a bad start. You might want to consider giving him another chance.”

  Hollie shot him a glare. “Don’t tell me. You had a good day at the cricket the other day.”

  Davo choked back a smile. “That too. But I’ve known him for most of my life, and I know he didn’t mean to upset you.”

  Her eyes still held his. “He hurt me, Davo,” she murmured.

  “I know and I’m so sorry!” He raked his hand through his hair. “Cupcake, I wouldn’t tell you if I didn’t mean it. How about you give him the benefit of the doubt?”

  Hollie nodded as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’ll think about it,” she lied. She didn’t want to discuss this subject further on this beautiful day.

  The two friends mingled amongst the crowd, catching up with everyone, and though Hollie kept an eye on Jeremy, she tried to ignore him at the same time.

  ****

  Unlike Jeremy!

  His eyes were glued to her most of the afternoon. He studied her—her laugh and the joy that showed in her eyes. He noticed her genuine care for others, and her ability to listen. There was laughter on her face when the stories were funny, concern when they were more upsetting, or stunned when the story seemed dow
nright unreasonable.

  Jeremy figured out pretty quickly she was not only a popular friend, but also became more aware about how much he had misjudged her. And it became obvious to him she wasn’t at all like any of the other women he’d met or dated. He scratched the back of his head—there was only one decent thing to do, and that was to apologise. He saw her walking over to the drinks and wandered in that direction.

  “Hi,” he said almost in a whisper.

  Her mouth tightened as she looked up to him.

  Jeremy tilted his brow, peering at her with uncertainty. He took a deep breath. “Look, I wanted to apologise for what happened the other night. I should’ve noticed you’re different from the girls I’ve met before. I was told, and I suppose, in a way, quite obvious to me too, I overstepped the mark. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

  He felt her stare on him, but she remained silent for a moment. “Much appreciated, but I’m not so sure why you’re apologising,” she stated blandly.

  “Because I behaved like an idiot, and you deserve an apology,” he replied, slightly confused.

  “Nothing else?”

  Jeremy raised his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

  She lifted her chin and met his gaze. “I heard Davo asked you to apologise.”

  He shook his head. “He didn’t ask me. He suggested it would be appropriate.”

  After a small pause she said boldly, “I’ve seen it a couple of times on telly. Men think if they apologise it’s a shortcut to a woman’s heart or to sex.”

  Getting frustrated, Jeremy wasn’t sure whether she was naive, or merely mocking him.

  “Are you serious? I honestly haven’t got a clue what you’re on about, Hollie, but my only intention is to apologise. That’s it.”

  He was just about to move on when she asked, “Different in which way?”

  “What?” Jeremy said with a frown.

  Hollie shrugged her shoulders. “You said I’m different from the girls you’ve met before. Well, how am I different?”

  Jeremy turned his head to see whether anybody was listening to this conversation, but everybody else seemed busy either playing around in the pool or standing by the barbeques. Even Alex seemed unaware of their conversation.

  “Just different, you know.”

  “Here’s the thing. Obviously I don’t know, otherwise I wouldn’t be asking, right? I thought I was pretty normal, the average kind of Tassie girl. Now here you are saying I’m different.”

  Jeremy pinched the bridge of his nose. Out of all the women in Launceston, he had to meet the one standing in front of him. Yes, out of all the pretty ones, it was her eyes, the twinkle in her eyes that made his heart beat faster and his knees go weak. Different and difficult as well, he thought. But kind of cute difficult. He wanted—no, he needed—to get his wording right, so it took a while for him to answer. He gazed at her blue eyes and studied her. His answer seemed significant to Hollie.

  “First of all, you have an incredibly curious nature,” he said with a wry smile. Worried she would interrupt him with yet another question, his eyes clung to hers. Yet instead of looking into glaring eyes previously hard and filled with dislike, he was now facing a beautiful smile. And he loved what he was seeing. How on earth did he miss this beautiful smile the other day? Why did he concentrate only on her appearance? Why didn’t he listen to what she had said? He loved her smile, and knew he had to work hard on this one now, because all of a sudden there was nothing more he wanted but to get to know her better. So he went with honesty.

  “You’re different because all the other girls I’ve met so far were more interested in the money I earn, the social life that comes with my job, and, you know—” he paused and went on with a demure smile “—sex. Instead of me or my personality.”

  Instantly, a blush stained Hollie’s cheeks, and she stared blankly at him with her mouth open.

  Jeremy noticed it, and liked her even more for it. He knew she believed him now.

  “Well, okay,” she said hesitantly. “I suppose in that case, I’m quite pleased to be different.”

  An awkward silence hung between the two. Finally, Jeremy asked carefully, “I assume I’d be pushing it if I were to ask you out for dinner, wouldn’t I?” He knew he was walking on thin ice.

  “I knew there was a reason for the apology.” Hollie’s smile vanished almost instantly.

  He raised his hands in surrender. “Okay, I’m sorry. I honestly am. But you’re not going to punish a guy forever just because he wants to get to know you better, are you?”

  Her expression didn’t change.

  Defeated, Jeremy was about to head back into the crowd when Hollie suddenly said, “Here’s the deal. To play along with the theme of being different, how about lunch?” She tucked her hair behind her ear, and then glanced over at the group in the pool, before turning back to Jeremy.

  “No indecent behaviour, though, or I’ll ask my mum, bless her soul, to haunt you for the rest of your life.”

  Jeremy broke into a leisurely smile. “I think I can live with that.”

  Chapter Six

  Sam pulled the duvet right up to her chin, suddenly aware of the chill in the room. She gazed over at the window as she watched the snow fall from the sky. An incredible sense of calm came over her while she lay in bed trying to count each snowflake.

  Padraic was already up. She heard him downstairs in the kitchen, most likely preparing breakfast. The smell of the freshly brewed coffee finally convinced her to toss back the duvet, grab her robe, and follow Padraic to the kitchen.

  She shivered slightly as her feet touched the cold mahogany flooring of the kitchen. Padraic came towards her, and as he handed her the coffee, his hand touched hers. Butterflies floated in her stomach when she recognised his old track pants and the tight top, showing off every muscle of his well-trained body.

  Padraic placed a kiss on her cheek. “Good morning, honey.”

  “Good morning.” Sam closed her eyes. The smell reminded her of the many mornings when he had stood in front of her room with a cup of freshly brewed coffee. It hadn’t taken long for her to fall in love with the tall, dark haired young man with his deep brown eyes. He was all she had ever wanted in a man: successful, mannered, attractive, from a wealthy family, and the ability to treat her just the right way. But there was a change in him, an unwelcome change, when he had that one drink too many. She exhaled a big sigh.

  “Did you sleep well?” he asked, interrupting her thoughts.

  “Yes, thank you,” she said just above a whisper.

  “I’ve rung Matt this morning already and told him we’ll be there for dinner at about five this afternoon.”

  Sam bit her lip. “That’s right. I’d forgotten about that.”

  “Don’t you want to go?”

  “No. No, not at all. It’s just, it’s the kind of day where I'd like to sit in front of the fire and read a nice book.”

  “How about you do that until this afternoon?” He brushed her cheek with his thumb.

  Sam sat down in front of the kitchen window. She buttered a piece of toast and spread some jam. “I think that is actually what I’m going to do.”

  Padraic smiled. “You do that. I have a few appointments this morning, but I'll be back for a late lunch.” He came closer and kissed her on her forehead. “Love you, honey.”

  Still in her robe, Sam sat in front of the open fire with a book. She had only recently discovered a new Irish author, with a wonderful touch of subtle fairy-tale-style writing. Fatigue enveloped her as she concentrated on the book in her hands. Quickly, the words enabled Sam to escape from her daily life filled with business meetings, negotiations, and long hours in the office.

  With a cup of tea next to her, she started to immerse herself in the book, but her thoughts trailed off under the sound of the crackling fire and the white scenery outside.

  Sam had it all. But still, she didn’t feel content. Something deep inside was stirring her up, but she couldn’t put a
finger on it. She had a great job, a great house, and a successful and seemingly caring husband. Something bothered her, but she wasn’t able to put all the pieces together. She worried Padraic would drink that night. But was that it? Was that all that stirred inside her? She just had to trust him, believe in his promise to be good.

  ****

  “Wake up, honey,” Sam heard Padraic whisper. She moved her head around and realised she had gone to sleep.

  His mouth curved into a smile. “Must not have been the most interesting book.”

  Sam drowsily rubbed her eyes. “I can’t believe I nodded off. What’s the time?”

  “Just after two.”

  “Whoops. I’d better make a quick lunch. Sorry for that.”

  Padraic picked up the book and flicked through it. “Are you still reading this book?”

  “Yes. Why?”

  “I don’t know. The pink cover sort of gives it a girlish touch. Love, romance, ‘happily ever after’ crap.”

  Sam took the book from him. “What would you know about love, romance, and happily ever after?” she mumbled more to herself than to Padraic.

  A dark eyebrow slashed upwards. “Excuse me?”

  “Nothing. Would you like to have cheese or ham on your sandwich?”

  ****

  Padraic took her shoulders and gently turned her to face him.

  “Padraic, please. You’ve had too much to drink,” Sam whispered.

  “Come on. Think of it as a nice finish to a grand day.”

  He moved his lips with featherlike touches along her neck and placed his hands around her waist to pull her in closer. Sam’s stomach churned with anxiety and frustration. She didn’t want to, and he knew it.

  Even with her best efforts to push him away, she didn’t have the strength. Padraic leaned in again to kiss her. She tilted her head away from him and stiffened when she saw his eyes turn black with fury. That backhand of his slashed through the air with enough force that she shuddered with the impact.