Journey to Her Dreams

by Iris Blobel

  “Twinkles?” she asked with her eyebrows raised.

  “Like the twinkles in your eyes.”

  Goosebumps crawled up her neck. She tilted her head up at him, and their eyes met. “I didn’t expect you to come over. I haven’t wrapped up your gift yet, so you have to wait till later. I thought you were going to Hobart today.”

  “I was sort of on my way, when I decided to come here first.”

  He studied her face with his gaze for an extra beat. “You look stunning tonight.”

  She flattened her palms against her simple dark blue dress. Unable to do her hair, it felt good with a touch of makeup.

  She stood motionless in the middle of the room. “Thanks for the present,” Hollie said quietly.

  “Love, we have to go,” Murray shouted from outside. “Pack up the lad. He might want to join us for the service.”

  Hollie smiled. “Sorry, but we’re about to leave for the Christmas Eve church service. Something Dad never misses and is never late for.”

  “That’s quite all right.”

  The two joined Murray outside. Jeremy shook Murray’s hand. “Have a wonderful Christmas, Mr. Anderson.”

  “I sure will,” Murray smiled. “Son, why don’t you join us for the church service?”

  “Dad, Jeremy still has to drive all the way down to Hobart.”

  “Oh,” Murray replied, but still stared at Jeremy.

  “I haven’t been to a Christmas Eve service for a long time. I might actually like the idea,” Jeremy said. Hollie shook her head as her mouth curved into a smile. “May I give you a lift to church?”

  The little chapel Murray and Hollie usually attended for Sunday service was close by.

  Murray beamed. “This is quite a car, young man!”

  Hollie’s dad was and always had been a respectable and well-liked member of the community, although nobody knew him well. He was there every Sunday, courteous, friendly, and always helpful when it came to being one of the working bees. Yet his private life was private and his own business. Thus, when Murray arrived in the black BMW with his daughter and in the company of a young man, people started to whisper, and Murray had a big grin on his face.

  Hollie hooked her arm under her dad’s. “You’re impossible, Dad.”

  He raised his eyebrows at her. “What?”

  “You did that on purpose to start the gossip around here.”

  “Love, I did not. This is a naughty accusation. But I have to admit, it’s a nice side effect to the whole idea.”

  Jeremy locked the car and followed the two into the chapel. Murray went ahead and opened the heavy entrance door, and everyone stepped inside. They were soon engulfed by a smell of incense. Hollie noticed how Jeremy’s eyes wandered from each corner along the walls. “I like coming here just to admire the wooden interior and the beautiful stained glass windows,” she whispered to Jeremy as she followed Murray down the aisle to his usual spot near the front.

  They sat down next to Murray when Hollie pointed out the nativity scene next to the delicately decorated Christmas tree. “Now this is what I call a bland tree turned into something special and grand!”

  Jeremy nodded. “I can see why you guys like coming here.”

  As they all—seemingly—listened to the sermon, Hollie glanced towards Jeremy and noticed his arms resting on his knees and his head facing down. Was he even listening? She watched his hands. There was something about them—strong, yet soft at the same time.

  He wore a subtle diamond ring on one of his fingers and a silver watch around his wrist. She couldn’t help but stare and suddenly had a vision of these hands touching her, caressing her body, and taking her into an embrace. Hollie blushed and quickly turned her head. Feeling guilty, she tried to get her mind back to the minister’s words and the Christmas story he was telling.

  “…In these days of Advent, may you have hope, trust, and faith. Open your hearts to your family, friends and those close to you.”

  Open your hearts…hope, trust and faith—the words went through her mind, and she glanced at Jeremy again. Their eyes met as he turned towards her with a smile.

  ****

  Their drive back to the farm was more subdued, with Murray deep in thought and nobody talking. Hollie assumed the two men were taking in what had been spoken during the service, just like she was.

  “Thank you for the invitation to join you for the service. It was a nice change to the usual rush to finish work, pack up, and get home.”

  “Son, you don’t want to leave now, do you? What about tea?”

  “Thanks, Mr. Anderson, but I have to go.”

  Hollie placed her hand on her dad’s arm and subtly shook her head. “Dad.”

  “Just a small bite. When did you have your last bit of food today?”

  Jeremy’s smile was boyishly affectionate. “You don’t give up, do you?”

  Murray took his daughter’s hand and grinned. “I have a good teacher.”

  “I assume a small bite won’t hurt.”

  Murray headed for the house. “You won’t regret it. Hollie’s prepared a lovely roast.”

  Hollie turned to Jeremy. “I’m sorry Dad is so persistent. I can understand if you have to leave.”

  “Do you want to get rid of me? How could I resist a lovely roast?”

  Hollie kept her eyes fixed on the ground. “I meant…you know…you shouldn’t feel obligated to stay.”

  Jeremy came closer and put his finger under her chin to lift her head. “I thought we’d been through that. You know, the spending time with you issue.”

  He took her hand, and they both followed Murray into the house.

  Everyone enjoyed Hollie’s roast, and before long, it was late indeed. Hollie was concerned.

  “Are you sure you want to leave this late? It’s quite a drive.”

  “I don’t want to go back to my house. Although I’m not much of a Christmas person, I don’t want to wake up on my own on Christmas Day. Mum and Dad are probably waiting as well. I’m used to driving at night.”

  She lowered her eyes to avoid his gaze. “I’m sorry we got you into this dilemma.”

  “No, not at all. I liked it, you know, sort of.”

  With her brows furrowed, she glared at him. “Sort of?”

  Jeremy lifted one eyebrow.

  “Anyway, it’s almost one o’clock, and it’s quite a drive.”

  “Hollie, I’m a big boy.” Jeremy gazed at her eyes. For a moment—and just for that moment—there was a silence between them, which made Hollie nervous. When he leaned forward and touched her lips with his she didn’t pull back. He placed his hand on her face, stroking her cheek tenderly. His lips were soft and warm and stirred her emotions. His kisses were so wanting, yet gentle at the same time. A brief shiver rippled through her. When he drew back, she opened her eyes and met his gaze.

  “I’d better go,” Jeremy whispered, barely audible. Hollie entwined her fingers into his. She didn’t want him to go, remembering the words she had heard earlier that night: hope, trust, and faith.

  She chewed on her lower lip and looked coyly at him. “You can stay here overnight, if you’d like.”

  He choked back a laugh. “I don’t think it would be a good idea. I’m not sure I could behave myself.” He grinned, and Hollie understood.

  She leaned forward and kissed him. “How about, I’d like you to stay, though?”

  He placed his hand on her cheek and caressed it with his thumb. The corner of his mouth curved into a smile. “It’s a tempting invitation, and believe me, I want nothing more than to spend a night with you, but it needs to be right. I want you to be ready and comfortable.” He took a deep breath. “But selfishly, I want to wake up in the morning and enjoy the moment without having to rush off to Hobart. Does that make sense?”

  Hollie nodded. Gently she traced his cheek with her finger until she reached his lips. “I’d still like you to stay.”

  ****

  Sweat covered her face and the pyjamas stuc
k to her body. When Hollie woke up early in the morning, she suddenly realised someone was talking to her. She turned around.

  “Hollie, Twinkles, are you okay?” Jeremy watched her with concern. “You’re all wet from sweating. Are you all right?”

  Tears started running down Hollie’s face. Embarrassment grew inside her, as she acknowledged Jeremy’s presence. Remembering the previous night, she couldn’t help but smile. Although he’d slept on her small little couch, they’d talked into the night for a long time, until her eyelids had drooped heavily. It had been one of the most memorable Christmas Eves for a long time.

  “Hollie?” Jeremy asked again, taking her out of her thoughts.

  “Sorry,” Hollie said. “It’s not that easy to explain.”

  He leaned on his elbow and ran his fingers along her jawline. “How about you try? That is, if you would like to. It's obvious something is eating away at you.”

  Hollie wiped the tears from her face, trying to figure out where to start. She pulled the duvet closer to herself, hugging it for comfort.

  She heard his warming voice next to her ear. “How about I just hold you and you have another little snooze? There’s no rush for me to leave.”

  She chose her words carefully. “It’s this dream I’ve had for a while now.”

  Hollie took a deep breath and started the story, staring outside the window.

  “It’s this woman. I don’t know…she’s…it’s all so vivid when I dream and now it seems so blurry. She’s got short blonde hair. She’s attractive with a fair complexion. She has this Irish accent. Something tells me she lives in Dublin. I have no idea how I know. She lives with someone, and it seems she loves him. I mean, why would you stay with someone if you don’t love him? I sometimes have the feeling she likes him for his money and because he’s handsome. But he’s not nice to her, kind of rough…and hits her, forces her…you know…in bed. Sometimes not in bed, but just anywhere. And then she goes and hides from him, holding her tiny teddy bear until there are no more tears to fall. That’s it. It’s not a movie I have seen. It’s a dream, and it’s so vivid and never the same. But it hurts when he hits her. I can feel the pain myself.”

  Jeremy placed his hands over Hollie’s knuckles, which had gone pale from her tight grip of the duvet. He took her hand and turned it over in his own. She shook her head, confused that she’d revealed so much. Alex was the only one so far who knew the story. Murray knew she had bad dreams, but wasn’t aware of the details, or of the pain throughout her body afterwards. Hollie turned around to face Jeremy.

  “I can’t believe I just told you all this.” She wiped her eye with her hand. “I’m so sorry. This is not at all something I should have told you on Christmas Day.”

  “Hollie,” Jeremy said carefully. “Is this the reason you have been so, let’s call it, reluctant to let me get close to you? Do you think this is you?”

  She shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I wouldn’t think so, because I’m pretty certain it’s not around here.”

  “Twinkles. You have to believe me when I say that I promise from the bottom of my heart I would never hurt you. I know we got off on the wrong foot, but trust me when I say that.” Jeremy put his finger under her chin and moved her face towards him. “This is my Christmas promise.”

  Hollie smiled and gave him a kiss. “I’m sorry for being so snobby. I just think this is getting a bit too much for me. I’m getting sick of my hair, but I'm too scared to cut it, thinking this is going to happen to me. I was trying not to get too close to any guys, just in case this guy turned out to be the man in my dreams. Not sure, though, since the events are seemingly in Ireland.”

  “Are you sure about Dublin?”

  “I’ve never been there. I can't explain why. I’ve never been anywhere farther than Melbourne. It’s like someone’s telling me it’s Dublin.”

  He quirked an eyebrow questioningly. “Dublin, eh?”

  Hollie slapped her hand against his chest. “It’s not funny, Jeremy.”

  “I’m not laughing. I’m trying to figure things out.”

  Hollie turned around and snuggled up into Jeremy’s arms. The warmth of his embrace gave her a sense of safety she had missed in her life. He kissed her on the forehead and caressed her back until she settled back into a light sleep.

  Chapter Fifteen

  When Sam heard Padraic coming home later that afternoon, she went downstairs to greet him, but stopped in the door. Leaning against the doorjamb with a glass of red wine in her hand, she watched him muttering a couple of curses when he saw the tree.

  “I thought it was obvious,” Sam said.

  His heavy glare weighed on her shoulders. “Don’t be cheeky, missy.”

  “I wanted to have a Christmas tree this year and this one’s perfect.”

  He rubbed his hands over his face in obvious disbelief. “Why on earth did you want a Christmas tree this year?”

  She walked over to the tree and adjusted one of the lights. “I’ve wanted one every year. It’s just this year I actually had the time to go out and buy one.”

  “Sam, this is ridiculous.”

  Eyes wide opened, she asked, “Why?”

  “It’s a waste of money and a waste of space.”

  She tilted her head to the side and admired the tree. “I disagree.”

  Padraic turned around and walked out of the room. “I need a drink. I hope we won’t have this grotesque thing in the house every year. It's bad enough Mum makes so much fuss about Christmas and its tradition.”

  She followed him and raised her voice. “It’s a shame you think so, because Christmas is supposed to be a happy time of the year, and as far as I remember, you’re the one who enjoys your mum’s lovingly prepared traditional roast every year. Not to mention Natalie and Melanie’s eyes when you, I emphasise you, hand them their presents every year. It’s beyond me why you’re so opposed to a Christmas tree. It’s that time of the year, and I like it. If you don’t, tough luck. Avoid the room until it’s over and don’t make me miserable.”

  Sam stormed upstairs before Padraic was able to respond.

  ****

  “Merry Christmas, honey.”

  Sam tried to open her eyes. “Hmm?”

  Padraic leaned over and gave her a kiss. “Wake up.”

  “Oh, Padraic, I’m sure it’s way too early.”

  He held her back as she pulled the duvet up and was about to turn over. “It’s Christmas.”

  “Merry Christmas,” Sam whispered. She tried to open her eyes and turn towards him, but as soon as she moved, a jolt of pain rushed through her body. Just leave your eyes closed for a little while longer.

  He nuzzled her neck, whispering into her ear, “Honey, I’m sorry about last night. I promise it won’t happen again.”

  Sam didn’t move.

  His voice became impatient. “Come on, Sam. It’s Christmas. Wake up. I’ve got a surprise for you to make up for last night.” He caressed her ear with kisses.

  She slowly opened her eyes and saw the small present in front of her, trying her best to smile.

  “Thank you, Padraic.” She took the present and slowly opened it. He became more and more restless until she finally found a beautiful diamond ring under all the layers of wrapping paper. Staring at it, she remembered she had seen the ring a few weeks back at the jeweller’s and had eyed it ever since. Padraic took the ring out of the box and gently placed it on her finger.

  “It’s beautiful, Padraic,” she said in a croaky voice.

  The corners of his mouth curved into a smile. “A little birdie told me. It suits you. It’s as wonderful as you are.”

  Sam sighed and pulled the duvet closer to her chin.

  “I’ve got a few more things under the Christmas tree. I was a bit of a jerk the other day, and I’m sorry. It obviously means a lot to you and, yes, I suppose some traditions aren’t all bad.”

  Sam gathered all her strength, and with an effort, she said, “We’d better go and check it
out then, because you’ll find yours there, too.”

  He held her back. “Sam, I’m sorry. I truly am. There’ll be no drinks for me today. That’s my Christmas promise.”

  She pressed her lips together before nodding.

  “I promise.” He moved close to her and placed a hand lovingly on her cheek. "I do love you." Leaning in, he kissed her lips.

  “This is not my understanding of love. Why can’t you accept a no?” Sam heard herself saying.

  Padraic leaned back and seemed surprised. Even though she didn’t want to bring this up on Christmas, Sam knew she had to stand her ground now. She expected another disagreement.

  Padraic took her hands in his and touched them softly. As he avoided her gaze, he said, “I’m sorry. I am very sorry.” Then he moved his hands up her arms to her neck, cupping her head lightly. “You’re just irresistible.” He pulled her in for another kiss, yet this one was soft and loving.

  Sam slowly moved away from him. “I can’t do this, Padraic. I love you, too, but I’m anxious around you. Especially when you’ve had a few drinks. I’d rather you don’t promise anything anymore, but start respecting me and my body again.”

  He leaned forward and kissed her softly.

  His eyes met hers. “I love you,” he murmured.

  Her body tensed up as her husband left a trail of feather-light kisses down her neck to her shoulder. It seemed he hadn’t understood anything of what she had said to him. Trying to meet his eyes she noticed his hand sliding from her waist to her hips.

  Yet, there was his gentle touch she wasn’t able to resist, and she gave in, but only for a short time.

  “Padraic,” she whispered as his lips continued to explore her body. “I don’t think this is what I want right now.”

  She looked at him, studying his face. Anger tinged with disappointment? She wasn’t sure. After a long moment of silence, he leaned in and caressed her lips with his. “Okay,” he finally said as he took her hand. “Let’s check out what Santa brought last night,” he said with a wink.