Everything goes black again.
Jesus, I’m not catching a fucking break here!
I don’t know how long I’m out for again, but when I wake, the room is still dark, but my phone’s vibrating somewhere in the room. I groan, turning to try and find where my phone is when my hand touches a head. I hear a moan and that’s when my eyes fly wide-open. I see a silhouette of a very naked Amy sleeping next to me.
“What the fuck?!”
I shout loud enough to wake her, but she doesn’t stir.
No, no, no, no, no... this can’t be happening. I came to bed on my own. I know I did. How the fuck did Amy end up naked in my bed?
Moaning, I rub my forehead, a headache forming now that my high’s wearing off. My phone vibrates again and this time I get off the bed, almost stumbling out of it. It’s then I realize I’m fully naked.
“Fuck, no!” I shout. Trying to think about what happened last night, my head starts to pound. In the dark, I look for my clothes and find them all together on the floor. I grab them, quickly getting dressed. I’m somehow vulnerable now without them.
My phone starts vibrating again. I snap my head to the noise and see a light shining underneath an item of clothing. Amy’s clothing.
Shit, this can’t get any worse.
I run toward my phone, tossing Amy’s T-shirt to the side to pick it up. I first note that it’s just after five in the morning. The next thing I note is that Stacey’s been trying to call me for the last ten minutes.
Without another thought, I call her back. When I hear her out of breath, I know something terrible has happened.
“Jez, can you come over? Someone broke into the house and stood over Caitlin’s bed while she was sleeping. Jez, her screams. I thought someone was killing her.”
Fuck! I’m the worse person in the fucking universe right now.
“Is she okay?” This fucker better not have harmed her.
“She’s fine. When she screamed he ran out, but she won’t stop shaking. I’m scared for her. I told her to call you, but she refuses. I think she wants you here, though.”
“Did you call the police?”
“Yes, they’re here now, talking to Caitlin, but she’s so shaken up, Jez.”
“Don’t say any more, Stacey. I’m on my way.”
I’m sitting on the couch, a blanket wrapped tightly around me like it’s the only thing keeping me safe. Despite not feeling cold, I shiver. I haven’t stopped shivering since I woke up and found a man standing at the foot of my bed, a hoodie up, hiding his face and his head tilted to one side as he stared at me. He was unmoving. Even as I woke up, my eyes adjusting to what it could see in front of me. At first, I thought he was a figment of my imagination, but as they came into focus, I realized very quickly that he wasn't.
And that’s when I let out the most ear-piercing, toe-curling scream I have ever screamed. The man quickly turned, bolting for my bedroom door, and within a few more seconds Stacey ran through wondering what the hell was going on. She luckily didn’t encounter the man when she ran toward my door. He must have been pretty fast to escape before she sprinted out of her room.
When I told her what happened, Stacey bravely looked everywhere in the house, making sure all the windows and doors were locked. Every one of them was, apart from the front door. That’s when Stacey called the police. As we were waiting she suggested I call Jeremy, but I didn’t want to disturb him on a Friday night. A part of me was a little pissed at him, because he had been dropping hints about going out, but I haven’t heard from him. Besides, after what’s happened tonight the last thing on my mind shouldn’t be what Jeremy’s up to when he’s not with me.
“Can you give me a description?” a male officer with light brown hair asks as he takes a seat next to me. He has his pad and his pen out ready to write what I say down, but what can I say? I’m thinking from height and build it was a man, but it could very well have been a woman too.
“He wore a hoodie, so I didn’t see his face.”
“But you seem to know the perpetrator was a man. Was that because he was very tall with a heavy build?”
I nod.
“Can you tell me how tall he is?”
I look over at an officer talking to Stacey. He seems about the right height. I point to him with a shaky hand.
“About his height?”
I nod. No words want to surface.
“What about his build? Would you say he had the same build too?”
I scrutinize the other officer. The height seems right, but the officer appears to be carrying more weight than the man who was in my room. I shiver again. The thought of this is going to give me nightmares for weeks to come.
I shake my head.
“Okay, how about my build?”
I glance over at the officer. He’s slim with broad shoulders. I nod.
“I know this is difficult for you and I know not seeing his face makes it more so, but with your permission we’re going to take fingerprints around the door where you think he came in and in your bedroom. Is that okay?”
I nod, but then I remember. “He wore gloves.” In fact, his whole outfit looked black from top to bottom. It was like seeing the grim reaper in my bedroom.
“Ah,” he replies.
Yeah... ah.
“With some luck he never wore them to get in. We’ll try and pull some prints anyway.”
He and I both know how that will turn out.
Another hour rolls on and I’m still sitting on the couch with the blanket wrapped around me. Since then, Stacey’s brought me three cups of tea, all of which I’ve only drunk half of.
Just as they’re finishing up, a loud ruckus is heard outside before I hear a familiar voice shout, “Caitlin! Stacey!”
Stacey springs from the couch and runs to the door. “It’s okay,” she says to someone. “He’s a friend.”
It looks like despite me telling Stacey not to call, she called anyway. I’m not proud of myself for secretly liking the fact he’s here.
He emerges through the door, practically bursting through and knocking it off its hinges. His eyes are wild and red, though I suspect weed. Again, a little bit of annoyance creeps in. He obviously thought getting high was a better prospect than us going out like he hinted we would.
“Caitlin, are you okay?”
He rushes to my side, immediately placing an arm around me. The relief of having him beside me and comforting me is short-lived the moment I get a strong scent of marijuana. Yeah, he’s been off somewhere getting high. I have no right to be angry about that, but it comes. The feelings of jealousy, hurt, and comfort should only come in the form of a relationship. I’m not ready because of Jack. I’ve lived too much in my short life, yet Jeremy’s barely scratched the surface. He shouldn’t have to contend with an eighteen-year-old who’s already had a relationship that almost put her in an early grave. His baggage is practically empty. Mine is in abundance.
I tend to stay away from parties. I don’t drink. I tried all that once and it put me in a dark place. I have to laugh at times because I already feel like a woman in her thirties, who’s seen and done most of what she has to in life and is ready to settle down. I’ll take a Friday night in with a pizza, Netflix, and a cup of tea over a night of partying any day of the week. Jeremy doesn’t seem to be that way, and why should he? He’s only just turned nineteen.
“I was scared, but I’m okay now. You needn’t have interrupted whatever it was you were doing to come over here. The police handled it and now they’re gone.”
Okay, I may say I’ve lived my life, but the immature part inside of me still can’t help the little jab at Jeremy. It works because he stiffens beside me. His forehead crinkles. He seems troubled by something. It also looks like he hasn’t slept all night.
“Do you know who it was?”
“He completely wore black, so no. When I screamed, he ran out the door.”
He lets out an angry breath. “Fuck, Caitlin, I’m sorry.”
&
nbsp; I frown, leaning forward. I note now that Jeremy’s here my shaking has stopped. “What are you sorry for? You never did anything wrong.”
“I wasn’t here when I should have been. I promised...” He lets out a sigh of annoyance.
“Promised who?”
His jaw ticks. I suspect he’s pissed at himself for letting something slip he didn’t want to.
“I promised myself I would look after you.”
“I’m not a child, Jeremy.”
“Fuck, Caitlin. I know that.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Listen, I can’t help feel protective of you, okay? If that makes me an asshole, then I’m an asshole.”
I can’t help but smirk at that. “Yes, you’re right.”
“What?” He tilts his head to the side, watching me.
“You are an asshole.”
He smirks back. “An asshole I am then.”
I nudge him with my shoulder. “You stink of weed.”
“Sorry. You’d think I had a really great night, but it was far from it. Long story.”
I have a feeling the long story involves Amy somehow, but again, it’s not my place to pry.
“What’s the police going to do?”
I shrug. “What can they do? I don’t have a clue what the guy looks like, and I bet they never left any prints.”
Shaking his head, he closes his eyes. “I feel fucking sick to my stomach that this happened to you and no one was here.”
“Stacey was here.”
“You know what I mean,” he responds, reprimanding me.
Stacey then walks in, shutting the door behind her. “The police have just left. They said they’d be in touch if they find anything.” She takes a sweep of Jeremy and me sitting on the couch. It no doubt looks quite cozy. “Do you want a quilt? I take it you’re staying? You look like shit, by the way.”
Nicely done, Stacey.
“Thanks,” he retorts. “I’ll take that quilt.”
She disappears and reappears quickly with a quilt and two pillows. Once she’s handed them to Jeremy, she turns to me. “Unless you need me for anything, I’m going to hit the hay.”
She’s been up since three and it’s now after six. She must be so tired.
“No, go to bed. I think I’ll follow soon.”
She utters good night, even though it’s morning, and soon it’s just Jeremy and me under the cover of a quilt. Somehow it’s managed to worm its way across the both of us.
An arm wraps around me and for now it’s welcome. I place my head at the crook of his shoulder and we stay like that for a while.
“I wish it had been you who called me.”
I get it. He’s hurt that it was Stacey who reached out instead of me. Under the circumstances, though, I feel it was warranted.
“You’re here now.”
His body relaxes and with a lazy voice, he says, “I’m here now."
It’s been two more weeks since that incident at not only Amy’s house, but Caitlin’s too. Since then, I haven’t stopped thinking about those dreams and what went down with Amy. I have asked her time and time again how we ended up in bed together and she keeps pleading ignorant. She still rings every day—still tries to get me to come over using bribery tactics. It’s starting to interfere with what I have with Caitlin. I don’t know what we have, but I want more. Amy getting in the way isn’t helping. I’m pretty certain if it wasn’t for her, Caitlin and I would be a thing by now.
I shake my head at the thought. I never imagined I would want to be a thing with anyone.
“Are you ready for tonight?” Calvin asks as we sit on the couch. He offers me a drag of his joint, but I say thanks, but no. His eyes practically bug out of his head. Ever since that night with Amy, I’ve hardly touched the stuff. I never want to be in a position again where I don’t know how I ended up. I’ve been in a constant state of high alert ever since. I swear, Amy and I never touched each other, but how can I be so sure of that when I don’t know how we both ended up naked in her bed together? Everything is a blur—so much so that I’m starting to wonder whether those dreams were just dreams. I would never touch Amy—not now that Caitlin’s in the picture. I think back to the night I went over and I never got the urge around Amy to touch her. Not once. Still, I can’t escape the fact Amy and I may have...
I shiver again at the thought. I know it’s not cheating on Caitlin, but why does it feel like it is?
“Just because you had bad shit, doesn’t mean this is. Amy must have bought hers from a poor source.”
Calvin knows about that night. He’s the only one apart from Amy who does. I shake my head and when I do, he offers a sympathetic smile.
“You didn’t cheat on Caitlin. You have nothing to worry about.”
“Calvin, I was so high a fucking circus could have paraded through the room and I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to stay over there again.”
“Oh, I know. She’s tried to get me to come over, but there’s no way in hell I’m getting myself involved in any more of her shit.”
“Good. Maybe now you can start forgetting Amy altogether and concentrate solely on Caitlin. I’m sure if you do, you’ll eventually win her around.”
I really hope he’s right. I’ve been particularly protective around Caitlin since that fucker broke into her apartment and scared the shit out of her. Since, I personally made sure an alarm was fitted, and even then I’m over at their place annoying both of them. I keep saying I don’t care as long as they’re both safe. As long as they don’t physically throw me out, then I’m there. For some reason, they haven’t. I have a feeling it’s because they secretly like the fact I’m there. I know it’s spooked Stacey as much as it has Caitlin, and Stacey didn’t even see the fucker.
“So, are you ready for your fight?” Calving repeats again, stuffing a BLT into his mouth. I screw up my face when I watch mayo ooze from the corner of his lips. “Sorry,” he says, smiling, showing me all the food around his teeth.
“Fuck, Calvin. What the hell’s wrong with you?” He laughs, making it even worse. “I’m not even going to look at you.”
“Are you going to answer the fucking question?”
“Yes. I’m ready. Are you happy now?” I shake my head. “Fucker,” I mumble under my breath.”
“Hey, I heard that.”
“I wasn’t trying to hide the fact... fucker.”
Shaking his head, Calvin takes another bite of his sandwich … and then the asshole fucking smiles again.
* * *
Later that day as I’m getting ready for the fight, I get a text message from Amy. In it she says she wants to meet, but she knows I’m fighting tonight, so there’s no chance. I choose to ignore it. I have no time for her antics anymore. The more she pushes, the more I’m starting to believe that Calvin is right. She’s taking advantage of me.
“You should see the guy out there,” Calvin says as he starts wrapping tape around my hands. “I don’t know why every time guys like him think they can take you on.” He shakes his head, an amused grin on his face. All I can think about right now is Caitlin and whether she will be here tonight. She said she would try for me, but I know it will take a lot for her to.
“She’ll be here.”
Calvin can obviously read minds now.
“How do you do that?”
He laughs. “I don’t have to have the brains of Sherlock to know who you were thinking about.”
Just as he’s taped me all up, Doug opens the door. “They’re ready for you.”
“I’ll be out now. Tell them to start playing the music.”
Doug does a mini salute before shutting the door, the sound of the crowd now drowned out. Within another minute, my song starts to play, so I take a deep breath and walk toward the door. I had missed these moments in the last few weeks. I missed the adrenaline, the smells, the buzz of the crowd. This is what I live for. Moments like this. My anticipation of the night, however, is espe
cially heightened considering Caitlin may be here.
I walk out, the crowd going wild. They pave a way for me to walk through and as I do everyone starts patting my back and wishing me good luck.
As if I need it.
I’m saying thanks as I walk through, but my mind is completely focused on scanning everyone who’s here to see if I can find either Caitlin or Stacey. If I can find Stacey only, then I’ll know Caitlin’s not here.
To my disappointment, I can’t find neither. Feeling a little dejected, I move toward the ring, rounding my shoulders and loosening my neck. Now’s the time I need to concentrate on why I’m here. Now’s the time I need to focus.
I get into the ring, smiling as the guy I’m fighting against is even smaller than the last dude I knocked out. I give him a toothy grin and the fucker averts his eyes. I laugh, a deep resonating sound vibrating through me. What a chump.
I take a look around the crowd again, because I can’t fucking help myself. She hasn’t come. I can’t say I’m not disappointed.
Deciding to just get on with it, I raise my hand to the crowd and everyone starts to roar their appreciation. I see a girl on top of a guy’s shoulders and when I glance her way she lifts her top, revealing her breasts to me. She has Scoz on one breast and Zari on the other. I smile, but I don’t let my eyes linger anymore like I used to.
Man, I really am turning into a pussy.
At least the one place I know I’m not is in this ring. It’s just me and my opponent.
One on one.
Doug quickly gets up on the stage and the crowds are getting rowdy now. He grabs a mike from the side and starts waving his hand for everyone to quiet down.
“Hey, how’s everybody doing tonight?” They all cheer. “It’s Friday, time to parrrrrrttttyyyyyyyyy!!!!!”
Everyone screams; the air is electric. I close my eyes and savor these moments. No matter how many times I relive this feeling over and over, I still want more.
“In this corner we have Jet Crosby. He’s nineteen and studying Sociology over at George Mason. He’s always been into sports, but particularly boxing in the last year. Maybe this is the year he’ll take out the infamous One Punch.” He turns to give me a wink.
Scozzari: Deviant #3 Page 17