I know he wants to see if I’ll trust him enough. At the end of the day, I know he won’t tattoo anything bad, but I still can’t help but wonder what he has in store for me.
My decision made, I turn my head the other way. “No, it’s okay. Do it and then I’ll look once it’s ready.”
“Are you sure?” he asks hesitantly.
“Yep. Just do it.”
A razor glides gently on my back and when he sprays the solution, I flinch from the cold. A small giggle erupts.
“You won’t be giggling once I have the needle on you.”
I smirk. “Are you one of these people who are like a wuss when it comes to needles?”
“Have you seen me?” he practically screeches, making me giggle harder.
“I know, but some of those tattoos must have really hurt.”
“The ones along my ribs hurt the most, and then around my wrists. It never put me off, though. Once you get one tattoo, you never want to stop.”
“Oh, I can see that,” I joke.
“Well, you’re already having your second one.”
“I guess. I never told my parents I got the lotus flower. They would freak if they knew I already had a tattoo. I got one with a fake ID when I had just turned sixteen.”
“No shit.” His voice sounds astounded.
“Yep. I still don’t regret it. You’re right, though.”
“About what?”
I bite my lip a moment, knowing I’m going to let him have a little piece of me. “I was thinking about you when I had it done. I think I figured that if I always had that mark with me, you would somehow be with me too. Plus, I think that flower represents more to me now than it ever did.”
I know he knows why without asking the question. That’s why he’s silent now, solely concentrating on the task at hand. He places the stencil on me and it feels quite big.
“It isn’t going to be big, Caits. Don’t worry. There’s a reason why it’s like this and you’ll find out why afterward. Do you still trust me?”
I let out a breath. “I do.”
He takes the stencil away and he must be looking at the results for now as I find him silently behind me, only his breaths to let me know he’s there.
“Absolutely stunning.”
I resist the urge to turn and see, but it’s hard. When I hear the buzz of the tattoo gun, I keep as still as possible and then I feel it on my skin. As always, it hurts, but as the minutes go by, I go off into a little trance.
“I want you to know that, apart from my mom, you’re the bravest woman I have ever known.”
Tears flood my eyes at the sentiment. “Thank you. That... it means the world to me.”
“It’s true.” The needle hits a sensitive spot, causing me to flinch a bit. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’ve been through a lot worse.”
“You shouldn’t have been through any of it.” He pauses a moment, carrying on with his work. “Do you think we would be here now if it wasn’t for him?”
His question came out of left field, causing me to pause. “I think I would have stayed and gone to college in my home town.” Thinking that now hurts my heart as I would never have known what it would be like to be with Jeremy again. Maybe one day I would have ventured on back, but who knows where either Jeremy or I would have been then.
“Isn’t it funny how bad situations can end up having the best outcomes?”
The sound of the gun stops for a moment. “I would still have you living in Nebraska now than the alternative. If I could erase Jack from your life altogether, I would.”
“But then I might not be in your life now.”
“I know,” he replies, starting the gun up again. “But I would sacrifice my own happiness if it meant that you were safe.”
Robbed from speech, I stay silent for a moment, careful to wipe a couple of tears that fall. Jeremy and I have only really known each other again for a couple of months, but we’ve also been through a lot together. I already know I can trust him with all my heart.
And that’s exactly why I’m lying here now getting a blind tattoo.
We chat shit for a little while after, but then I zone out again. I don’t know how long I’m lying there for when he wipes me down and says, “I may have to touch up at some point, but I think it’s ready. Do you want to go take a look?”
Still feeling zoned out, I almost fall off the bed trying to get down. Jeremy’s there straight away to catch me. “Are you okay?”
“I almost fell asleep.” I laugh, trying to rub my eyes. I manage to steady myself a little before stepping toward the full-length mirror by Jeremy’s bed. I take a deep breath, then turn to look at my back. I gasp.
“Do you not like it?”
At the bottom of my waist there’s a beautiful feather and emerging from that feather are lots of tiny birds, soaring high across my back, each one of them covering every single lash I got from Jack. I cover my mouth to try and hide my sob, but it’s no use. Entwined, flying high with the birds are the words, Wisdom is oftentimes nearer when we stoop than when we soar.
“Oh my God,” I cry into my hand.
“Aww, shit. You hate it, don’t you? Fuck. I knew I should have shown it to you first.”
Reluctantly taking my eyes from the tattoo, I turn to Jeremy. He’s still sitting on his stool, looking extremely upset with himself.
“I don’t hate it, Jeremy. I love it!”
He lifts his head, his eyes lighting up. “You do?”
“It’s the most beautiful tattoo I have ever seen. Of course I love it. And the words... I just can’t.” I stop myself a moment to find the words. “I couldn’t have picked anything more perfect.”
Jeremy gets up from his seat and walks toward me. “Seriously?”
I nod with a goofy smile. “Seriously.”
His eyes turn hooded as he trails a finger down my naked arm. “You know, it’s a pity you’ve just had this tattoo, otherwise you would be on your back by now.”
“Really?”
He nods.
“I’m sure we can arrange something, but first you have to call David McCalister before it gets too late. It’s already almost ten.”
“Okay, but let me treat your tattoo real quick.” He grabs some cream, spreading it on my tattoo before placing a load of saran wrap round me.
“Are you trying to turn me into a mummy?”
Jeremy’s eyebrow quirks up. “A very sexy mummy.”
I give his ass a little smack. “Now go. Call your new manager.”
I love the smile he gives me when I tell him this. He disappears outside to make a call. As I’m placing my top over my head, I hear muffled voices from outside. A little hungry, I decide to raid Jeremy and Calvin’s fridge, but the only things I find in there are ham and a couple of beers.
“Boys,” I grumble, taking a piece of ham out the fridge and placing it in my mouth. As I close the fridge door, a figure emerges, an evil smile spread across his lips.
“Miss me, sugar lips,” is the last thing I hear before his fist meets my face.
I’m out front smoking a joint for the first time in weeks as I make that all important phone call that may change my life forever. I figured it was a smoking weed kind of moment—one that I will forever think back on in years to come. “Yeah, I was outside my two-bedroom house I shared with a college roommate smoking weed when I called David McCalister and told him to sign me up.” Kind of had a nice ring to it.
As I’m on the phone, I hear Caitlin rattling around in my house and then all is silent. I don’t think anything of it as why should I? She’s perfectly safe in my home.
Or so I thought.
After I hang up, donning the biggest smiles known to man, I call out Caitlin’s name, but confusion fills me when I’m met with silence. When I note she’s not in the living room, I check my bedroom, then the bathroom, and then even Calvin’s room, in case for some reason she wanted to go in there. When all fails on that side of the house, I venture i
nto the kitchen. And that’s when I find the carnage.
Not only is there drips of blood on the floor, the back door’s wide-open. I run outside toward the garden, but I can’t see shit. From the backs of all the houses around here all you can see are fields. With my phone in hand to use as a torch, I take off running into the field. If she’s been taken, the fucker who took her couldn’t have gotten that far. I wade through all the dead corn, trying my hardest to spot anything that looks out of place. My heart races and my blood coils in terror. I can guess by the blood that he’s harmed her and when I catch up with him, I will have no mercy on his rotten to the core soul.
I push on, calling out Caitlin’s name, but all I’m met with is the faint sound of an owl hooting in the distance. When I’ve reached a certain distance, I backtrack, looking from left to right. If Caitlin’s hurt and can’t walk, then they can’t have gotten that far.
Then, as if by some miracle, I notice a disturbance of corn ahead. I rush forward and to my horror, I find Caitlin unconscious on the ground, blood dripping out of her nose. From what I can see, she’s alone, so I bend down, taking her into my arms.
“Caitlin,” I urge, slightly nudging her to wake up. “Caitlin, please, baby. Wake up.”
She’s out cold.
Adrenaline spiking, I reach to gather her further in my arms to pick her up when I hear a snapping sound behind me. I glance up just at the same time this fucker—who I assume must be Jack—comes bounding toward me, teeth baring as he brandishes a knife.
Self-defense skills kicking in, I manage to sidestep him just as he’s within striking distance and grab his wrist with my left arm, punching him in the face with my right. I twist his wrist and the knife goes down. As he’s too busy dealing with the pain in his nose, I manage to grab the knife and throw it somewhere into the field.
“You’re the fucker who’s stolen my girl,” he sneers, just as he’s gaining composure.
“She’s never been yours to steal from, you woman beating piece of shit. You like to beat people more vulnerable than you, let’s see you go up against me, huh? No weapons, just our fists. You think you’re a hard man? Show me what you’ve fucking got.”
I roll my shoulders, ready for this punk to take a swing at me. I take in a breath, gearing myself up like I do with every fight. Every muscle in my body is telling me to strike, telling me to take this punk out, but if I acted on emotion, I may lose my equilibrium.
Wiping the blood from his face, he smirks at me and then starts to laugh. “Not bad for a punk.” He then looks down at Caitlin, who’s still out cold. In one sense, I’m glad that she is. For now, she’s blissfully unaware that this fucker has tried to take her.
“Don’t you fucking look at her.”
Threading his fingers through his dark hair, he laughs again. “Caitlin and I have some unfinished business to attend to. You really think she’s with you? I bet all the times you fucked her she was really thinking of me.” He then grabs his crotch. “She couldn’t get enough of my dick.”
He’s after a reaction, and I don’t disappoint. Racing toward him, I throw another punch. He manages to dodge out of the way before kicking me in the back. I wheeze out a cough, before quickly composing myself. I turn, finding him behind me, smirking.
“This is just too fucking easy,” he spits out on a laugh.
This time, I step forward, bit by bit, my arms raised, ready to strike.
“Oooo,” he goads, putting his fists up in the air. He’s mocking me, but he’s about to see what mocking a Scozzari gets him.
A one-way ticket to Hell.
He laughs again and in that moment of distraction, I lunge forward, punching him again in the nose.
He bends forward, clutching at his face. “Motherfucker!” He sucks in a breath and rights himself. “You’re going to pay for that.” He takes a step forward and tries to punch me, but I’m too quick, giving him another right hook to his left cheek. He bends forward again, growling and out of nowhere lunges for me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He races forward as I race back, trying my hardest not to fall on my ass. Fists together, I thump his back until he lets go, but then he somehow manages to throw a punch to my chin. Pain slices through my jaw and then again to my right eye. The fucker’s managed to hit me again.
Knowing I need to step up my game, I quickly shake myself out of it and raise my fists. I glance up to find him laughing, but smile when I see he looks in worse shape than I feel.
“Didn’t see that one coming, did ya?” He winks, trying to taunt me, but I don’t take the bait. I have to hand it to him, this is the first guy I’ve had to throw more than one punch at.
Even still, Caitlin’s been out for I don’t know how long now and needs help. I have to end this somehow.
I feel wetness on my lips, so I wipe my hand over it, surprised when I see blood. I don’t have much time to dwell on this as he lunges for me again, but this time I manage to round my shoulders one last time before I strike. This punch I know is stronger than the others, because the pain that radiates through my hand tells me so. I’m too pumped to care, though. He stumbles and I take that as my opportunity to come at him again. I throw another right, then a left. Frustratingly, he still stands and manages one last punch to my ribs before another uppercut to my chin. I shake my head, regaining focus. This asshole doesn’t want to quit.
As he’s taking a moment to catch his breath, I do too, gearing myself up for the final showdown. I need to take him out—no matter what the cost.
I take one last look at Caitlin, the blood caked in her hair and down her nose and that’s all it takes for me to lose it.
I run forward, taking him completely unaware and punch him over and over. Left hook, right hook, left hook again. He falls back with every punch, but I continue going forward, my anger now consuming any rational thought. Eventually, he falls and is finally unconscious, but that still doesn’t stop me. Adrenaline is now fueling my rage, aiding me to hit this monster with the full force of my fist. I thought I had been angry when I hit Barry, but that was minute in comparison to this.
He hurt my girl.
And now he must pay.
Baring my teeth, I continue. I must zone out, because the next minute I hear a faint sound of a familiar voice calling my name. It’s like I’m in a tunnel, my focus purely on what’s ahead of me, but the voice continues, pulling me out of this fog I’m in.
“Jeremy! Stop!”
It’s that moment, I finally take in everything around me. I’m hovering over a barely recognizable asshole. There’s blood all over his swollen face, my hand hovering in midair, ready to throw the next punch I know now I’m not going to make.
He’s out cold.
I drop him, turning to the sound of Caitlin’s voice. She’s standing five feet behind me, staring at me with wide eyes. She looks from me to Jack and then back at me again.
A million things rush through my head. Does she hate me? Does she think I’m a monster? She has to know, I’m not like Jack. I will never, ever be like Jack.
My brows furrow, pain etched in my face at the prospect that I’ve just lost her all over again. Her eyes scan me, taking in every bit of anguish I’m pouring out of me. To my utter shock, Caitlin races forward, wrapping her small arms around my waist. My body, which was stiff, instantly relaxes in her arms.
“Are you okay?” I ask, quickly pulling her away and studying her face.
She grabs my hand in hers. “Are you?”
“I’ll heal. I’m more concerned about you.”
“My face is sore, but other than that, I’m okay. He... he just came out of nowhere. I had no time to react...”
“Baby,” I interrupt, grabbing her hand. “He never had a chance to take you away from me.”
She glances past me toward the heap of shit on the ground. “He’s not moving.”
I turn, quickly striding toward him before bending down. I check his pulse, but find nothing. My eyes widen, but thinking it’s a fluke, I try again. I
’ve done first aid, so I know where to check, but I’m not picking up a goddamn fucking thing.
“Shit, is he dead?”
I turn, glancing up to look at Caitlin, my expression telling her everything.
“Oh, shit. What are we going to do?” She starts pacing, her hands flying in the air. “If we call the police, they’ll arrest you. I can’t have you going to jail for me. I can’t...”
I race toward her, stopping her in her path. “Listen, it may not come to that. Just... give me a minute. I need to think.” I already know what I must do, but the prospect of involving more people in my shit coils my stomach. But I have no other choice.
I get out my phone. “I’m going to call my dad. He’ll know what to do.”
I send out a 911 to my dad and he tells me to wait where I am and he’ll be there in twenty. It’s now after eleven and Caitlin’s starting to shiver with the cold, or shock. At this stage, I can’t fucking tell which. I gather her in my arms and tell her over and over again that everything’s going to be okay, when I have no fucking clue if that’s true. I could go down for this, ruin my career before it’s even begun.
But, as I calm from the storm in my head, I ask myself one question: Would I do it all over again? The answer is yes and yes every time. With this asshole dead, at least Caitlin can be free from the monster. Free from having to look over her shoulder. Free from the constant tyranny this man has unleashed upon her.
No, I don’t regret a single thing. Let me rot in jail, if that’s what it takes to let her be free.
Soar high into the sky, baby.
“It’s over now,” I whisper, kissing her head. She doesn’t say anything back. She doesn’t need to.
I’m not sure how long we’re out here for when I hear a familiar voice calling my name. “Over here, Dad!” I shout and watch as he emerges with Jimmy behind him.
My dad takes in the sight, immediately rushing over. “Are you both okay? Do you need the hospital or anything?”
We both shake our heads. “No, it’s fine, Dad. We can’t involve emergency services because of him.” I point my chin in the direction of the scumbag’s lifeless body.
Scozzari: Deviant #3 Page 26