Jimmy’s eyes widen. “Oh, what do we have here?”
My dad walks over to him, Jimmy following suit. He checks his pulse before glancing up at Jimmy and shaking his head. Jimmy immediately nods like in some sort of silent conversation.
Turning, my dad gets up and walks back toward us. “Right, this is what you’re both going to do. Go inside the house, get cleaned up as best as you can, then drive home. Your mom and Tara will be waiting for you. They’ll know what to do. Once they’ve got you comfortable, just sit tight. Me and Jimmy won’t be long.”
I point to Jack. “What about him?”
Dad takes my arm and starts pushing me in the direction of my house. “We’ll take care of him. Now go.”
I shake my head. “I can’t let you take the fall for this, Dad. I killed—”
“Shh, no one’s going to take fall for this piece of shit. Go, forget you ever saw this punk and don’t look back. I promise, Jimmy and I will be home soon. Now go.”
He pushes me more forcefully this time, so I know I must comply. Caitlin and I race back to my house without saying a word until we reach the kitchen door. Caitlin grabs some towels and starts cleaning the floor.
“Caitlin, don’t worry about that, baby.”
She’s on her knees, sniffling, tears streaming down her face. “I have to erase the evidence.”
I bend down, picking her up so she’ll look me in the eye. “This is my burden to bear, not yours. I killed a man...”
“Because of me!” she snaps, banging a finger into her chest. “You killed him for me. Now you could go to prison for me...”
I take her hand, stopping her. “My dad will take care of it.”
A tear slips down her face. “The police... they’ll look for him. They’ll find his body eventually, and when they see you and me, they’ll know.”
I take the paper towels from her hand and throw them in the trash before rushing back to her. “Listen, I trust my dad, okay? If he says he’ll take care of it, he’ll take care of it.”
She nods, so I take that as my cue for us to go get cleaned up. We shower quickly, trying as best as we can to wash all the blood off. I know I have them on my hands for the rest of my life, but I won’t regret a single thing.
When we’re ready, we leave the house as quietly as possible so as not to alert the neighbors and drive carefully toward my family home.
“What do you think they’ll do with him?” Caitlin whispers from the passenger seat.
I pull into the driveway of my old home and turn to Caitlin. “He’ll feed him to the pigs.”
So many weeks go by that it’s almost Christmas. I still have no idea what happened with Jack’s body, but considering a body hasn’t turned up yet, I’m starting to believe what I thought to be a joke at first as real. Jeremy’s dad and Jimmy fed Jack to his pigs.
I still shudder whenever I think about it.
For a week or so after the incident, Jeremy and I stayed with his parents, all our wounds and needs taken care of. Tara was an absolute gem, checking on us night and day, redressing Jeremy’s bandages as his mom kept us constantly replenished.
During one of Tara’s checks, she told me the story of her ex-husband and how he used to beat her. Of how Jeremy’s dad and Jimmy helped get him out of her life for good, and how Jimmy’s the one and only love of her life now. I’ve never known Tara that well, but we bonded in that moment—an unfortunate coincidence shared between us. We had both suffered at the hands of men and their fists.
But we came out of it and still managed to find love.
When that week went by, and bruises started to heal, Jeremy and I left and went back to Jeremy’s where Stacey and Calvin waited, wanting to hear about everything that took place.
It was another three weeks after that the police arrived asking questions. Thankfully, for us, Jack had managed to take his ankle monitor off in Omaha and fled, but so far the police haven’t managed to trace his whereabouts. They came to me as they were worried about my safety. It was strange having to act scared when I know full well that I don’t have to now. The only ones left are his parents and sister. If any trouble’s coming, it will come from them. They’ll know he came for me, and they’ll be demanding answers.
In the meantime, life went on. Jeremy has already started his training for his fight in six months. The fight with Jack has set him back a little, but day by day, he gets stronger. I feel I owe my life to him now after what he did. Should I be scared that he lost control? Sure I should. Jeremy lashes out when angry, so of course I should be scared. Am I? No, because I know in my heart of hearts that he would never, ever lay a finger on me like Jack did. That is what sets them apart, and to me the most important issue.
For weeks, I go through the motions, still healing and still processing everything that’s happened. My parents have been nonstop calling since they found out about Jack’s escape. I’ve done everything I can to tell them I’m safe without revealing the real reason why. You never know who could be listening to you on the other end of the phone. I will be visiting them soon for Christmas vacation, so I will be able to explain all to them then. For now, I’m keeping my head down, getting on with catching up with my work, while fully immersing myself in everything Jeremy. I thought what happened would change us somehow, but it’s only aided in cementing our bond stronger than ever. We now share something no one else can take away—and it’s that I know will tie me to him for the rest of my life.
As for Amy, she’s now in a psychiatric ward for six months getting treatment for being bipolar, as well as PTSD from suffering at the hands of her abusive dad. She admitted everything she did, from faking her pregnancy, to locking me in a broom cupboard, and paying some guy to break into my house. She even went as far as paying that Pamela girl to deliberately run into me with her car so that I would have to go to the hospital. She knew about my abusive relationship, so wanted me to see how badly beaten up her brother was at the hands of Jeremy. She thought that would make me want to stay away from him. Of course, it worked, but not as well as she had hoped.
Even after all that she still demanded to see Jeremy, but not only did her doctors say that wasn’t a good idea, Barry also threatened her. Surprisingly, even after what Jeremy did, Barry is protecting him. He now has video evidence of what she did and has told her in no uncertain terms that if she ever goes near Jeremy again, he’ll hand it in to the police. If not for that, she needs to keep away from Jeremy for her own mental wellbeing. I know what she did was wrong on so many levels, but I do hope, in time, she gets the help she needs.
It’s now two weeks before Christmas and already it’s snowing. We’re having an unusual cold snap, apparently. I’m making my way home when I receive a phone call that turns my world upside.
“Caitlin, your dad’s in the hospital. He... he has pneumonia.” The sound of my mom sniffling on the phone makes my stomach twist. I should be there. I need to be there.
“What... what happened? How?”
“I’m sorry, Caitlin, but your dad’s been sick for a while. We’ve tried to keep it from you, but now that he’s sick, I can’t hold it any longer. He has stage four colon cancer and it looks as though it’s spread to his lungs.”
My mind can’t quite comprehend what I’m being told. “He has cancer?” is all I reply. I’m frozen, stunned, unable to wrap my head around any of this. How can my dad be sick? My dad’s my dad. He’s the one who used to throw me around when I was small, go running in the park with me, and swimming in the local pool. He doesn’t get sick. He never gets sick.
“I’m so sorry we never told you, Caitlin, but your dad... he wanted you to live your life...”
“He has cancer,” I repeat again. My head’s still buzzing with the news. I can hear my mom speak, but all I can think right now is that I need to see him. “I’m getting on the next plane.”
“Okay, I’ll book it for you and text you the details.”
As a moment of clarity forms, tears swim in my eyes. “You
should have told me.”
My mom’s silent for a moment before she speaks. “I know, but you have to also know that we had our reasons.”
“How is he doing now?”
“He’s fine. Stable. It's just progressed further than we anticipated. It’s gotten to a stage now where we had no other choice.” I wipe the tears from my eyes as I hear her sigh. “I know you’re mad, but put that aside for now. I’ll go book this flight and we’ll talk once you get here.”
I hang up, rushing toward my house. Stacey’s on the couch with Calvin. They’re officially a thing now since Calvin witnessed Amy attempt suicide. Apparently that put things into perspective for him and he realized he could no longer hide any feelings he had for Stacey. “Life’s too short for that shit,” he had said.
Jeremy’s with them waiting diligently on the seat for my return. When he sees me walking through the door, his smile turns into a frown once he spots that I’ve been crying.
Instantly, he’s up, walking toward me. “Caitlin, what happened?”
I drop my bag, wiping my nose. “I just got off the phone with my mom. Dad’s sick in the hospital. I’m going on the next flight.”
“I’ll come with you.”
I shake my head. “No, you’ve just started your training. I’ll be fine. Stay.”
“Why is he in the hospital?”
I close my eyes in an attempt to will the pain away. My dad. Cancer. I never in a million years thought those two words would be said in the same sentence.
“Mom dropped a bombshell that he has cancer...”
“Cancer?” Stacey shouts from behind Jeremy. I notice Jeremy bite his lip before Stacey gets up to place her hand on my arm. “Caitlin, I’m so sorry.”
“Apparently they’ve known for a while, but they never told me. Now he’s in the hospital with pneumonia.”
Jeremy frowns. “Pneumonia? Has the cancer spread?” He bites his lip before closing his eyes.
“What do you mean, has it spread?”
He sighs, his eyes still closed and then it dawns on me.
“You knew?”
When he opens his eyes again, he looks down at the floor before fixing them on me. Guilty. That’s all I can read in his eyes. His guilt.
“You knew and you never told me?”
I feel sick. I suddenly can’t breathe. When Jeremy senses my anger, he tries to hold my hand, but I yank it away.
“I didn’t tell you because that’s what your father wanted. Please, Caitlin...”
“No, don’t you touch me,” I scream the moment he tries to reach out his hand again. “Don’t you dare touch me. How long have you known?”
He grits his teeth, knowing full well I’m not going to like his answer. “A couple of months ago when I went to visit them that time.”
Hot, angry tears well in my eyes. “Two months. Two whole months of knowing about my dad and you never said a thing? How could you have gone all this time with me knowing that my father had cancer? How could you not have told me something so fucking monumental as that?!”
I start my walk down the hallway to my room, and I know Jeremy’s hot my tail running after me.
“Baby, please, you have to understand—”
I spin round to face him. “I can’t even look at you right now.” His shoulders sag at my admission. Right now, I’m way too angry to care. “How could you, Jeremy? The one person I trust in all this world and you let me down. I thought you said there were no secrets between us.”
“That’s the thing. You have to understand that it wasn’t my secret to tell.”
“I don’t care!” I shout, flinging my hand in the air. “My dad is sick—sick with something he’s not going to be cured from. I should have known, Jeremy. I should. Have. Known.”
He looks down at his feet before meeting my eyes. “I’m sorry,” is his response. I go to turn, but he grabs my arm. “Please, baby, let me come with you to Omaha. You shouldn’t be alone...”
I snap my arm away from his grip. “I won’t be alone. I’ll have my family. Please, Jeremy. Leave me be. I don’t want to be around you for a while.”
I walk through my bedroom door and close it behind me. This time, Jeremy respects my wishes. I start to pack and when I get a text from my mom telling me my next flight is in three hours, I gather all my stuff and head out into the living room, grateful of the fact Jeremy’s no longer there.
“Call me once you’re there, okay?” Stacey asks, giving me a hug. I nod into her shoulder. “Send my love to your parents. I hope he gets better soon.”
“Thanks,” I answer, before saying a quick goodbye to both her and Calvin.
I get to the airport with good time and once I’ve landed, my stomach churns knowing I’m back in familiar territory. A territory I ran away from four months ago. I know Jack’s not here, but I can gather it won’t take long for his family to find out I’m back in town.
For now, they’re the last thing on my mind what with my dad being so sick. With my bags in tow, I head out of the airport and straight into the waiting arms of my mom. We both cry, cry until there are no tears left, not caring that lots of people are bearing witness to our suffering.
“How long, Mom?”
“One... maybe two years.”
Pain grips my heart. Only two years maximum of my dad left. Only seven hundred and thirty days left—if we’re lucky. I can’t think, can’t breathe. My dad is my champion. The thought of not having him in my life, watching me marry, have kids of my own one day fills me with horror.
By the time we reach the hospital, I’m a bundle of nerves. My mom has her arm around me the whole time until we reach the door of his room. A nurse emerges and when she spots us, she smiles.
“He’s awake now, Mrs. Summers. He’ll be pleased to see you.”
“Thank God,” my mom rasps, causing the nurse to laugh.
“He’s doing well and eager to see you.” She turns to me. “You’re Caitlin, right?”
I nod.
“He’s been unconscious for the last two days, but I think hearing you were coming brought him around. He’s very tired, though, so please be wary of that.”
I nod, eager to go in there and see him.
“I’ll leave you to it.”
We thank the nurse and she walks off, leaving us to open the door. I walk through and almost gasp when I see him. He looks pale, almost gray. His bright, sparkling green eyes are dark and lackluster. His once mousey hair is now graying quite a bit at the sides. And he’s lost weight. Quite a bit from the last time I saw him.
“Dad,” I cry, rushing toward him. I notice a small spark in his eyes as he reaches his hand toward me. I grip it tightly in mine and throw myself on top of him for a hug. I bury my head in his chest and tears flood when I feel his hand stroking my hair. “Dad,” I whisper again, sobbing.
“Shh, it’s okay, pumpkin,” he rasps through tight breaths. “I’m okay.”
My hand finds his pyjama top, so I grip it in my hands for fear that he’ll slip away from me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I pull my face up from his chest to look at him. He gazes down at me, only the kind of love a father can share for his daughter, and wipes the tears from my eyes. “I knew that if I told you, you would have stayed...”
“You can’t make that decision for me...”
“You’ve been through so much,” he interrupts, wiping more tears. “I had hoped I would live long enough to see you graduate, but it looks as though the man upstairs has other plans for me.”
I shake my head, not wanting to hear it. “Please don’t say that...”
“But it’s true.” He strokes my hair, before giving me a small flick under my chin. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I wanted you to be free. I wanted you to live your life. I somehow always knew you belonged back in Virginia... back with Jeremy.”
I feel the pain in my gut at the betrayal. “He knew. You told him, but he didn’t tell me. I can’t forgive him for that.”
; “You can and you will,” he says, with a stern voice, shocking me. “You may be angry with him about that, but that’s only because I swore him to secrecy. If you want someone to blame, then blame me. I put that responsibility on that boy’s shoulders. You can’t blame him for that.”
I sniffle, grabbing his hand. “He should have told me.”
“The boy’s done nothing wrong. He’s been there for you when I couldn’t. He took it all on without question because I know in my heart of hearts that he loves you. I could see it in his eyes when he was here. He flew all this way because he cares about you, Caitlin. There’s not many a man who would do that. Don’t throw away a good thing just because of something your old man did. It was not his story to tell. It was mine.”
I gave her five days. Five days to calm down so she could realize she still loved me. Five days to stew and think over how much she misses me. I almost gave up after two days, but it was Cathy who kept me at bay. She was all for me coming over, but she told me to give her time.
Five days.
Even though I knew she didn’t want to see me, I went the five days and immediately checked into a hotel nearby, so when the time came, I would be there for her.
Those five days were now seven and although I’ve spoken with both Cathy and Frank over the phone, I have yet to visit. Caitlin knows I’m here if she needs me, but for now I’m still keeping my distance.
The last two days have been filled with me resuming my stalking duties. I don’t like that she’s out here again—back where her past haunts her. I don’t like that she’s still exposed, even though Jack’s not a threat anymore. He’s gone, but I can feel something’s not quite right. Call it intuition, but it’s definitely had me on high alert since I’ve been here. So far, Caitlin has been roaming back and forth to the hospital, only visiting the grocery store at other times. Today, however, Caitlin leaves the hospital on her own and takes her mom’s car.
I sit in my rental, watching her from a distance as she drives out and makes her way south along the freeway. She drives around ten minutes until she reaches a church and parks outside. She goes in and all the while I’m itching to go to her—give her comfort. I know that’s what she’s after, because what other reason does one go to church when it’s not on a Sunday?
Scozzari: Deviant #3 Page 27