Spin Out

by James Buchanan

  “You mean besides she has tits.” Well, that was just nasty and still spot on.

  “Well, yeah.” I conceded. “But there weren’t anything we had in common.” I moved us back to where my thoughts didn’t butt up with the ugliness of her and what happened. “With you, that day, I got the sense that you were like me…perfect way to spend time together is hiking thirty miles through the forest hauling forty pounds of gear so when we get there we can spend a day shredding the skin off our hands while we’re climbing up some rock that caught our fancy. I’d never met anyone like you. Someone I connected with like that.”

  Kabe snuggled up against me. “So why,” his voice was a lot more insistent with the question this time, “did you think I was different?”

  “Oh, heck.” I rolled my eyes up towards the ceiling. “You’re hitting me with hard questions and we ain’t even had sex.”

  “Yeah, I know,” he teased. “I’m evil that way.”

  I took a minute to consider just tossing out some half-baked version of things. Then I recollected what he’d hit me with during this throw down “Let’s see…” Time to come clean, although I weren’t right sure where to start. “All these years I’ve been in a church where I love my God and believe in the why of what I’m doing—’cept figuring they got to have some of it wrong ‘cause Heavenly Father don’t hate nobody to put them in a Hell of being born this way and it being a sin.” Figured ‘round about the beginning probably wouldn’t hurt. “So it’s like I’m standing in a sea of people just like me and still all alone and different.”

  Kabe twisted and ran his hand through the fur on my chest, at least what was poking through the half undone bit of my shirt. I liked it when he did that. “Different?” He snorted. “We’re gay. We’re different.”

  “Not quite the same thing.” Shook my head as I thought it through. “I’d go be around other gay guys and because I’m religious and I don’t like the city and don’t drink and I like being this country boy that I am…and there again I’m standing in the sea of people just like me and still all alone and different.” Huffed out a breath I’d probably been holding heading up on twenty years. “See, you’re the first person, ever, that I could share both of those lives with.” I rubbed my knuckles against his forehead. “Lord knows you tease me about my faith…but I don’t have to hide it from you. I can just be Joe, all the parts of Joe around you. And that was worth more than my church or my job to hold onto.”

  Kinda serious, he asked, “And Dev? You shared your life with him.”

  “Devon,” I blew a hard breath through my lips. Dev and I, well it was complicated. I spelled it out the best I could. “Let’s see, I met him through a friend of some friends.” Thought back all those years. “And we’re at this place and the waiter brought over a cranberry and club soda.” Tended to drink that ‘cause then guys saw it and assumed it was something else…meant I didn’t have to explain why I weren’t drinking. “We both reached for it. Knocked the darn glass outta the guy’s hand. Once we stopped laughing, we talked some.” It had been pretty funny, mostly ‘cause the place we was at was all uppity and tense. “Upshot is, he ain’t LDS although Dev’s got religion in his background, he’s from a small town, like me he’s law enforcement and neither of us drink. We’re odd ducks in that pond.”

  “And you both are gay.” He pointed out the obvious.

  “Yeah.” I agreed. “It’s a heck of a base to build a friendship off of. And like I told you, if we ain’t got nobody, we’ll mess around.” I pulled him into my chest. “But it ain’t never gonna be serious between us.”

  “You know.” Somehow Kabe managed to shrug all wrapped up in my arms. “I don’t really give that much of a rat’s ass if you screw around some.”

  “I do.” I did. I wouldn’t ever do that to him. “Weren’t how I was raised.” Among Mormons, when you got married, you stood in front of a dozen mirrors and looked into eternity with your chosen. “I don’t see you as a gal…but I see you as a commitment.” And, even though I’d never get that out of my former Church, the sealing my soul to someone else’s, I could see eternity next to him. Didn’t think Kabe was anywhere near ready for that talk. Instead, I goosed him in the ribs and teased, “I know, I’m an odd man out again.”

  “Man.” Kabe laughed some. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk so much as you have tonight.”

  “You said you wanted me to talk with you.” I pushed away from him and leaned up against the counter. “So I’m doing it. And I’m gonna try to keep doing it.”

  “Verbal diarrhea?” Kabe rolled his eyes. “All the time?”

  “Oh, heck no.” I pushed at his chest with the flat of my palm. “But I thought you needed to know why I do sometimes the things I do.”

  He grinned, and it was a little wicked. “I guess.”

  “Yeah.” Stopped talking right then, ‘cause I needed to kiss him. All the words in the world wouldn’t tell me what I’d feel through that touch. And what I felt, it weren’t one hundred percent right, but we edged closer.

  After we spent some time just exploring each other’s mouths, I pulled back. “So why,” I paused and brushed that wild hair of his outta his eyes, “do you stick around with a blockhead like me?”

  He thought for a moment before giving me a sheepish grin. “You’re quiet.”

  Lord, why’d he go back to that? “Yeah, I know, I don’t talk enough. I thought that irritated you though?”

  “No.” He tugged on the bottom of my shirt. “That’s not what I meant. Look, I’m just always on. I like the parties and bars and stuff in the City, but it was like the more I did the more I had to do.” He leaned in and nuzzled my neck. “I’d just start drowning in it. That’s why I picked surfing, skateboarding and climbing, to find some quiet in my own head. Even as a kid, I’d get so wrapped up in everything mentally that the only way I could stop the cycle was to push myself physically to the limits.”

  I ran my knuckles down his back. “I don’t get what one has to do with the other.”

  “All the guys I’ve been with fed into that need to keep moving faster, but in a bad way. Especially with this constant drama in the City that gets created out of nothing.” Kabe huffed. “You’re not like that. When I’m with you it’s like all my thoughts are still rushing around me, I’m getting bombarded by my old friends emailing me who’s screwing whose boyfriend behind their back, but I’m sitting on this big rock so that I don’t get swept up into it.” He looped his arms around my middle and squeezed. “You’re my rock. And we play hard, but it’s not like you’re creating scenes just to show how butch of a Dom you are. It feels so raw, uncluttered and fucking real.”

  “How else would it feel?” Of course it was real, that’s how we were together.

  Kabe snorted. “I guess you’ve got to have lived it to understand.” He stepped away and ran his hand through his hair. “You don’t have a clue the lengths some guys will go through to be seen as the real thing, and they’re just such fucking posers.”

  “So not a poser and quiet.” I gave him a loopy grin. “That’s what makes me prime boyfriend material.”

  “Oh, shut up, Captain Rock.” Reaching out, Kabe tugged on the front of my shirt and rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. “Want to go upstairs and be real?”

  I licked my lips. “We making up?” Not that I weren’t interested, but I still hesitated some.

  “Yeah, well.” His voice held a bit of a tease in its tone. “You fight then you fuck.”

  I knew exactly why I hesitated. “Not if it’s going to be like the other day. I mean, that just didn’t feel right.”

  Kabe dropped his gaze to the floor and shook his head. “Kinda a shit thing to do.” He admitted. “I was pissed.”

  “And you ain’t now?”

  “I’m still annoyed.” He latched a finger through my belt loop and pulled me along as he walked backwards towards the stairs. “You’ve got some shit to get straight in your head. But, we’re working on that.”
>
  “Okay, brat boy.” Started to figure out what that label might mean. Followed him on up into my bedroom. Watched him strip off his shirt and jeans. That boy was right fine. All lean, honed and hard. There were a hundred things I wanted to do to that body. It kinda hit me then, I’d been thinking on Kabe as being mine. Not like boyfriend mine, but like he belonged to me. That I could do what I wanted, because I wanted. And it weren’t like that. I could do things to him because he suffered me to do them to him. It got him off. And in getting him off, well I got to go along on that ride. Even if I controlled the when, where and what of it, it was ‘cause he wanted me to. He trusted me to. That…it kinda went both ways, and I hadn’t been playing fair. I expected to know everything about him and didn’t give him nothing back. Even when it might mean he’d have to go through the wringer with me.

  I pulled my shirt off over my head, hadn’t had it buttoned all the way up anyway. I tossed it over onto the chair. When I looked back at Kabe, he’d shucked his shorts and lay all nekkid on the bed. Well, mostly all nekkid. A leather strap ran ‘round the base of his cock, and another, thicker one around the neck of his balls. And lord, another little strap, with a ring in it, cut between both his balls and forced them, purple and tight, out to either side.

  Seen plenty of rings in my day, but none quite that elaborate. “Where’d you get that, boy?”

  “I found it, cleaning out some of my shit.” His grin would put the Cheshire Cat to shame.

  I sat down on the edge of the bed and toed out of my shoes. “You been wearing that all day?”

  “Fuck no.” He laughed. “Try to ski with this on my dick and nuts? Even I’m not that much of a masochist. Stuck it in my pocket and then put it on when I got off work.” He walked his fingers along my thigh. “You know, before I came over.”

  I popped the fly on my jeans. “You were planning on this, then?” Boy was cagier than a fox sometimes.

  He laughed again. “If things worked out, yeah.”

  “Why’s it got this little ring on it?” I hooked my pinky through the loop of metal.

  “Take a wild—” Kabe tensed up when I tugged. “Okay, yeah, that’s what it’s for.”

  The strap and the tug, well it hit me with a germ of an idea. My jeans gaping at the fly, I stood and rustled in the drawers of the nightstand for some things. Things I’d started collecting in my bedroom once I realized what Kabe liked. Useful things.

  One of the things I found all sorts of useful, the bed that came with my house when I bought it. Pushed the envelope of the rustic cabin theme just a bit too far for my tastes. Still, having a king size bed made up of three inch thick log rails and posts…I could tie my boy anywhere.

  Located what I wanted and tossed it up on the bed. A couple of webbing loops, aged out a bit too much to trust when climbing but worked right fine for trussing, and an old bungee cord with carabineers instead of hooks on the ends. Also pulled out a set of black nylon wrist straps with clips on the D rings.

  Kabe picked one up and spun it on his finger. “You going to use the amateur stuff on me, huh?”

  “Oh, shut your yap.” I’d scavenged them off the old gym equipment and they worked just fine. Made my point as I wrapped one around his wrist and yanked the Velcro down tight.

  “We’re going to have to get some real leather ones.” As much as he moaned about ‘em, he didn’t resist me putting the other one on him.

  I slid one of the webbing loops through the headboard, spanned about three of the spindles. Then I pulled his arms up and clipped the cuffs to that. As I walked away towards the foot of the bed, Kabe wrapped his hands around the strap.

  “You know,” he teased while I messed with the other bit of webbing at the foot of the bed, “you’re not supposed to leave it where I can get myself undone.”

  Yeah, he was right about that. But I weren’t going to just bind up his hands. I smiled. “You’re being a brat.” Again, I wrapped the loop around a couple spindles on the footboard. This time though I threaded it through itself. Left me, maybe, five inches to work with. That I clipped the bungee to. Then I grabbed his ankle and yanked him down the bed so that his arms were stretched above his head. I held up the free end of the bungee and clicked the gate on the ‘biner open and shut a few times. “Know what I’m going to do with this.”

  Kabe’s eyes went wide. “Oh, shit.”

  “Yep.” I pulled the cord tight, reached between his legs and clipped it to the ring under his nuts. He hissed long and hard as I let it go, slow—wanted to put the pain on him, but not rip off his nuts or nothing. I liked messing this way with Kabe. Permanent damage would put an end to that…like forever, and I kinda told him I wanted him longer than that.

  Stepped back and just marveled at him. Kabe’s arms stretched out above his head, down as far as he could get himself, just barely keeping the worst of the pressure off his sac. I couldn’t believe he’d let me do these things to him. I don’t know as I could trust myself as much as he trusted me. He just knew I wouldn’t twist his nuts clean off, but I couldn’t dredge up the stones to tell him about my problems and the pit it might pull him into.

  I don’t know as I deserved it.

  I don’t know as I deserved him.

  That long hard dick of his, all up and proud and rarin’ to go, well it told me he liked what I did to him. Liked it as much as I did. My own prick already pushed against my jeans, demanding to be let out. I was thankful that he did though.

  I reached down and plucked the taught bungee like a guitar string. Kabe went all tense and hissed out, “Shit.” Did it a couple more times just to see him squirm. His natural reaction was to dig his heels into the sheets. But when he did, it pushed his body back towards the head of the bed. That yanked on his nuts again. Thought, maybe, some of his fighting was so he would make it happen.

  I dug the lube outta the nightstand as I shucked the rest of my clothes. Knocked a steel ring I had in the drawer with it. For a moment, I toyed with the thought of putting it on. Then I realized it weren’t going to happen right then, ‘cause my dick already felt like a rock—might get it over my prick, but no way my balls could squeeze through. Next time, I’d have to plan a little better. Kinda warmed me up, figuring there’d be a next time. This rough patch would end.

  Tonight, however, we were going to have some fun. Stood over him, right up against the bed, and drizzled the liquid into my palm. Stroked my dick, five or six times, slicking it up. Kabe’s eyes tracked my hand as it worked up and down my cock. Boy didn’t say nothing, but he bit his lower lip and kinda shuddered. When I was good and lubed up, I got one knee on the bed. I set my hands against his shoulder and butt then pushed him onto his side.

  Kabe groaned, “Oh, fuck.” I wouldn’t admit it to him or no one else, but I liked his nasty mouth…at least when we got it on. Other times, not so much.

  I slid down next to him on the bed, my front against his back. I got his knee caught up in my hand and pulled back towards his stomach. It opened him up for me and, bonus, yanked on his nuts again. I got another curse for my efforts. Took me a bit of wrangling to find his hole with us tangled up like we were. Even if I could feel around with my free hand, kinda move my dick into place, I couldn’t see what the heck I was doing.

  Finally though, I was there. Pushed the tip of my dick against that tight ass. Slowly, his hole gave way. Felt so intense sliding up inside of him, working my dick in and out of his ass. Wrapped up in that feeling of there ain’t nothing between him and me. Why I’d waited so long…well I didn’t know even if I kinda knew; just ain’t never had the kinda trust I had with Kabe.

  I mean, he was willing to go on my word about me being negative and I couldn’t see fit to trust him with knowing where my life was headed. Probably the same reason I’d kept with the rubbers so long. I hadn’t been able to let go and trust him on that—not that he’d screw someone else, but on being part of my life. All of it kinda keeping him just that one step away from me.

  For a while I rode
him that way, a slow rocking kinda sex. Kabe right next to me, both of us on our sides. I licked his arm and pit stretched tight by the cuffs and loop. Each time I shoved in, I got a little grunt as that bungee pulled his balls. I reached around, under his chest and twisted the little nubs of his nipples.

  Another, “Fuck,” slipped through his gritted teeth.

  Then, as a string of curses ran outta his mouth, I rolled us so I was lying on my back and he’s on top of me, his dick pointing up at the roof. Managed to hook his other knee with my hand and pulled both legs back towards his chest. That earned me this guttural grunt that clawed all through my senses. Set my heels against the mattress. That pushed him up another inch. Kabe’s balls had to be stretched from here to creation at that point. Wished I could see ‘em, but no way to manage that underneath him and all. I’d just have to let him tell me how it felt by the sounds he made.

  All the twisting made me slip out some. I took a deep breath and then slammed my dick back into his tight hole.

  “Mother fucker!” Kabe’s back arched up off my chest and his knees strained in my grip.

  His pain blew through me in the trembling of his muscles and the sweat pouring off his skin. I could smell it. I could taste it as I mouthed along his shoulder. I could darn near feel it myself in how he moved. And I’d never, ever felt the way he made me…not with anybody else before him.

  Just gave up on thinking things through. I carried his weight on my arms and chest and pounded his ass from behind. All the time he’s egging me on with, “shit,” and “fuck,” and a bunch of other things I couldn’t even understand. He was so tight. So hot. His hole and my dick, everything faded until that’s all I could feel. The skin against skin, gripping me tight and pulling all my senses down into my nuts. Don’t even recollect how long I plowed his ass, but things just kept building on up inside of me until even my own body couldn’t take it no more and I let go. Shuddered all the way through it, me pumping spunk up in his ass. Kept moving on through it, feeling all how my own juice licked my dick as I thrust, slowing down as I flagged.