Regretfully

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Regretfully Page 12

by Leighton Riley


  I respected her for wanting to give her relationship with Sutter all she had, but I missed her as a friend. After hearing her ask if I was sitting down, my guard went up and I waited for whatever she had to tell me.

  “Maybe it’d be better for you to see. Can you come down to my work?” she said slowly.

  “Aria, cut the shit. Are you okay? Just tell me what’s going on already.” I was starting to lose my patience.

  “It’s Cami…”

  “What?” I asked with confusion and anger laced in my tone. What the fuck does she mean, ‘it’s Cami’?

  “Cami. She…that day…Tristen, shit. What we all think happened didn’t actually happen,” she said all at once.

  She was losing it. Why was she opening such deep wounds?

  “I’ll be down there in twenty, Aria, then you can actually explain what the fuck you’re talking about,” I said quickly and hung up. Another day to relive losing her, another day to mourn, another day full of regrets— I was hanging on, but just by a thread.

  Nervously, I headed to my car and made my way over to her daycare. I hadn’t seen her in so long. All I wanted to do was patch things up so that we could be civil again. It sucked to imagine how in a different life, Aria and I might have been perfect for each other.

  As I walked to the front door after parking my car, I started getting a weird feeling in my stomach. Rubbing my belly, I wondered what the hell it was coming from. I was nervous and hated not knowing what was going on. Waiting for Aria to buzz me in, I looked down to check my attire for the day. Cargo shorts and the white surf competition shirt that Cami said was too worn-out to wear anymore. I loved it, though, and couldn’t toss it.

  Aria was pacing back and forth as I peered into the glass. Something was bothering her. Knocking quietly, I smiled and waved as she walked to the door to let me in. I watched as a stroller-device carrying six infants around the building rolled by us and then we were alone again.

  “You look good.” I went in for a hug to try to break the tension. Looking up into my eyes as I released her, she began tearing up. “What’s the matter? What happened?” My hands went to her upper arms, and I watched her fall apart. Just as I began pulling her closer, she pushed away from me.

  “You— you shouldn’t do that. There’s something you need to know, someone you need to see. God, Tristen, I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through. I feel like I should break the news before you see, but I don’t know how.” Reaching up for another quick hug, she whispered, “Follow me.” She sniffled as she headed toward her office.

  Time stopped.

  I saw her hair first.

  That gorgeous, wavy, chocolate brown hair that I had slept next to for years.

  It wasn’t.

  My mind was playing tricks on me. Other girls could have the same hair. I just wanted it to be her again. It was weird, but I could feel her presence around me.

  My chest constricted as the pain of not having her with me anymore hit. I felt like a plane circling over and over again, just waiting to be given permission to continue on to my final destination.

  Once I had reached the threshold of Aria’s office— that was when her scent hit me. Cami had always used this lotion after her showers that had a hint of coconut and some kind of fruit in it that I loved.

  Looking up, Aria nodded her head and smiled. I was scared to look down. I shook my head, waiting for Aria to explain since I couldn’t look down at who was sitting in her office. It couldn’t be. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. Willing myself to give in, I found myself repeating that it couldn’t be her… it couldn’t be her.

  Those blue eyes I thought I’d never see again were glancing up at me. Furrowing my brows, I tried to comprehend what my eyes were seeing. She was just as beautiful as the last day I saw her, all those months ago.

  It was her. My Cami. Love of my life and mother of my unborn child. I questioned myself since I had grown used to saying ‘unborn child’ since he or she had died before I could meet them. Now that she was in front of me, I didn’t know what to say, or think.

  My world was tilted on its axis. I held onto the wall, needing support.

  “Cami?” I somehow managed to croak out. Oh, how I missed her sweet name on my lips.

  She smiled weakly and nodded, turning her body to face him better. “I— I remember. Tristen?” she blurted out as tears ran down her face. Kneeling down next to her, I used my rough thumbs to wipe away her tears.

  I closed my eyes, wondering if I was finally having that mental breakdown that Tanner said was coming. Sure, he had been joking, but I felt as if I was in some alternate world, where I was able to be happy once again. Either that or God was playing some cruel joke on me.

  “I don’t understand, though.” Looking up to Aria again, she shrugged her shoulders and walked out of the office, all the while wiping her own tears. “Baby, we couldn’t find you. It’s been nineteen months since that day in the water! I thought you died. I’ve lived with regrets every day since you left my side.” I held the sides of her face with both hands, taking in and memorizing each feature of her beautiful face. She lacked her usual confidence but looked the same nonetheless.

  I had to ask. I hated that it was even on my mind, but I needed to know. Who would pick up an injured woman and take her in without asking questions or taking her to the hospital? I had been in contact with the police and all the local hospitals and would have known if she had shown up. What had she gone through?

  “Where have you been staying, sweet girl?” I prayed for an answer I’d accept. In the back of my head, I knew no matter what her answer, it’d be the wrong one.

  She shook her head at me. “I didn’t know, Tristen. I’m so sorry!” She was bawling now, and the urge to console her was winning over.

  That wasn’t an answer. I needed to know, but the urge to hold her was stronger than my need for answers.

  “Come here, sweet girl.” I sat on the floor and she climbed down and sat on my thigh, crying into my chest. “Shh. It’s okay now. It’s all in the past. It’s okay, I promise.”

  After a few moments, she told me that she’d been staying with Zander, and I saw red. I tried staying calm, for her sake, but the night of the festival with Kenna came rushing back to me. I saw him there with a little boy. Was he mine? Looking down, she was in no condition for the interrogation right now.

  “We’ll talk about him later, alright? You don’t have to go into anything you don’t want to right now. You can tell me when you’re ready.” I couldn’t let her go. I didn’t know what our next move would be, but luckily, she was in charge of our fate at the moment.

  Grabbing a tissue from Aria’s desk, she readied herself to let me in. “I don’t remember it all. Images, faces of people I once knew, places I had been to before mainly. I dreamt about you. I couldn’t place your name to your face for so long. I’m sorry you’ve been alone and didn’t know.” She slowly got it out. It took her a little while to think through what she was saying, but I’d wait all the time in the world, just to hear her voice again.

  “You’re here now, baby. Anything you want to know, I’ll fill you in. You used to take photos all the time, and I can show you those, too. Come home with me?” I was so anxious to get her alone and figure everything out. I didn’t want to ask her too many questions all at once. We had the time now, and I wasn’t going to rush her.

  She fiddled with her hands, working up the courage to say something. “I have to— my son. He’s at home with a friend.”

  My son. My son. It had to be.

  She’d been away from me for a year and a half. I hated to even question her. Did she have our baby or did something else happen while she was gone?

  “We can go get him if you’d like. How old is he?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking. Hopefully she didn’t realize how loaded that question was. I needed to know if I had a son. If we had a son.

  “Sixteen months on the eighth of this month. His name is Jagger, and he
’s got bright green eyes that everyone just falls in love with. I think it’d be alright if I picked him up, and I could meet you at your place if that is okay?” Cami asked. I wanted to tell her it was our place but left it alone. It was where she should have been this whole time.

  “Of course, I have one place to stop before heading home. Give me an hour and a half? Here’s the address. Just come on over after you get him and we’ll talk more. Sound good, baby?” I brought my hand down to her hand and gave a gentle squeeze.

  I needed answers. Not only from her, but from the sick fuck who took her, too. I couldn’t let her go again. I wrote down my address and prayed that she would recognize the house once she got there. We had so many memories there, I wondered what she remembered.

  “Sure. And Tristen?” she said as she stood up.

  “Yeah, Cam?” Looking up, I smiled as I realized she was a little stronger than who I saw walking in. Baby steps.

  “I missed you. I didn’t know the face for a while, but my heart has missed you ever since I’ve been gone.” Picking up her bag, she made her way out and told Aria that she’d be by again to really catch up, thanking her for her help.

  When Aria came back into her office, I shut the door and let it all out. I’d been trying to hold my shit together in front of Cami so I didn’t freak her the fuck out, but I had to get it out.

  “What the hell just happened, Aria! How does my girlfriend and love of my life reappear in your office after being missing and presumed dead for nearly two years! That shit doesn’t happen! Her being with Zander? Who knows what he’s done to her over the time she’s been there! He’s twisted in the head, Aria. I mean, she’s back, and that’s what I really care about, but who knows what lies he’s manipulated her into believing. What if— what if she doesn’t want us anymore? I can’t lose her again. I won’t be able to handle it.” I was furious, hopeful, confused, and awestruck all at once.

  I needed a damn drink. And my girl back in my arms.

  “Before you say anything else, she realized what type of person he was. You have to remember, she was never with him on purpose. He found her that day, and fed her lies to make her think they were together, but she just couldn’t remember. She’s starting to remember now, though. That’s what’s important.”

  “But Zander? Holy hell, Aria. I saw him at the festival with Kenna. He had Jagger with him! I saw him with my own son and didn’t even know it.”

  I saw the puzzlement flash across Aria’s face when I mentioned Kenna’s name. I hadn’t talked to her about Kenna. “She was a crazy bitch, but it was my attempt at dating again. It was horrible, but I remember seeing Zander and thinking about how even douches like him have families, while I was alone. He doesn’t have a family. He stole mine!” I was getting more and more enraged the more I thought about it.

  “I know, Tristen. I’m so sorry. I think the best plan would be to feel her out. See what Cami remembers and maybe she’ll have some flashbacks that might help her unlock some of her memories from the past. That little boy, though, is yours. You have a family now. Now go on and clean up your place before she gets there. I’m scared to think of what it looks like right now.” We hugged tightly before I walked back outside.

  There was a stop I had to make before going home. For as long as I’ve known the fuckface, he’s always worked at his dad’s car dealership. And knowing he wasn’t home, I figured that’d be the other place to look. I had some damage to do.

  The drive over gave me time to think through the day’s events. The morning started off as a normal day with nothing special planned. Now, I was a father and hopefully back to being in a relationship with the woman of my dreams. I kept trying to figure out how Zander got away with keeping her and no one noticing or her showing up at the hospital and them ID’ing her. I knew her bank account, credit cards, and insurance hadn’t been touched and were since closed when they officially issued a death certificate. Red flags would have gone up when she went to the hospital to deliver Jagger.

  The questions and ideas swirling in my head only brought up fears for how far Zander went to keep her away from the public view. I needed answers and someone was going to pay.

  Pulling into the parking lot at the dealership, I instantly spotted Zander working his sleezy way into some poor old woman’s heart. He was showing her a brand new SUV that she clearly didn’t need. She was pushing eighty and something that big would be useless to her. It probably made him more money than the more affordable sedans, though, and that was his motive.

  I looked around at my surroundings, realizing how public this confrontation would be. I needed him alone. Somewhere more secluded. I didn’t want to kill the fucker, but I definitely wasn’t going to let him off easy.

  Walking over to a fancy, top-of-the-line SUV, I called out to Zander. “Hey, man, think I can get this one from you?” Luckily, most of the other salesmen were inside, and I didn’t get a swarm of them biting for the sale. I watched as he placed his hand on the old lady’s shoulder, motioning with one finger that he’d be right back, and began the journey toward me.

  I turned and began walking to my car, knowing full well that he’d follow.

  “Hey, you interested in this beauty? I can offer you a great deal if you sign today,” Zander called out. His voice wasn’t far behind me.

  “Get in the car, Zander.” I reached for the handle, finally looking up to see his face. He knew who I was and why I was here. He was caught.

  “I’m working, I can’t just leave. Maybe you can come back another time? I’m real busy today.” He gave his excuse but wasn’t walking away.

  “Get. In. The. Car. I know about your grand scheme, and I find it funny that you thought you could get away with it. I’m already pretty fucking pissed off so you not obeying me right now? That will only bring more joy when I kick your ass later. Now get in the fucking car, Zander!” I roared and started the engine.

  He unsteadily jerked open the passenger door, looking around to see if anyone would say anything. Backing out, I turned onto the main road as rage boiled beneath my skin. Turning quickly into the back of a grocery store, I skidded to a stop and got out of the car. I needed to be face to face with him.

  “Hurry up, Zander. I got a sweet angel waiting for me, and you’re wasting my time,” I urged, motioning with my hands for him to get out of the vehicle.

  “What do you want? I didn’t do anything, bro,” he hollered as he took slow, time-consuming steps toward me.

  “Bullshit. You know what you did, she knows what you did, and pretty soon, everyone in this town will know what a low-life piece of shit you are. She was injured and weak and you took advantage. Do you not realize you played with someone’s life and their fate just so you could get what you wanted? Did it not occur to you that she could get better, and she did, just in case you were wondering. She’s beautiful, strong, and intelligent. She knew better. My question is, how did you get it to work for so long?” I kept balling my fists up, trying to keep my composure so I could hear his answer. After seeing his actions play out, I wanted to know how and why.

  “What do you want me to say? She was mine first, and I love her. Seeing her broken on the beach? It was like fate. I knew she was with you, but you obviously weren’t able to protect her. She deserves someone who can keep her safe and love her like I do. Her having Jagger just accelerated and complicated matters, though. I already had it worked out so no one would find her. You did a lot of that for me, too. Giving up the search after only ten days? It was all over the news that she hadn’t been found and for the family to assume the worst. All I had to do was keep her away from view for a while and let her, or should I say Tami, know that we were in love, and it was us against the world.”

  Hearing him say Jagger complicated things made me wonder his long-term goal with Cami. Did he really think it would work?

  “There are so many things wrong with what you just said. First off, Jagger is a blessing, and if you ever speak ill of him again, you’ll be the
one unable to remember. Second, you gave her a new identity; did you even take her to the hospital?”

  “Fuck, no. The dumb bitch went into pre-term labor, and I had my friend’s wife deliver her. Funny what you can get illegals to do for money. She’d done it a few times with other bitches. She was clean and quick.” He smirked as he thought back. What a fucking dick.

  “And the paper trail for both of them? Hell, has Jagger even been to the doctor?” How someone could create this grand of a scheme was beyond me. I was sickened and amazed at how far he went to be with someone who never loved him.

  “Have you never been down to the flea markets? You can buy the paperwork and certificates you need if you know where to look. Cami was so easily to manipulate. Everything I told her, she had to believe. Her choices were limited, and she never wanted to leave the house, so it made my life easier. The only thing I regret not being able to fix with her was in bed. She was so boring. It really was a shame to have that body and not be able to utilize it.”

  I swung. And swung again. I couldn’t handle anything else coming out of his mouth, and he deserved what he had coming to him. Swing after swing, blow after blow, I was relentless until I heard the distinct crack of one of his ribs. Looking down, he was laying in the fetal position, holding his stomach while blood flowed from his wounds.

  “You will never— and I mean never— walk the same ground that she does again. You may have taken her light away, but I sure as hell will fight every day to bring it back.” I spit out a bit of blood from the one blow he got in to my cheek. Walking to my car, I smiled as I thought about what I’d be coming home to.

  The house wasn’t dirty, but it definitely looked like a single guy lived there. I hurried home and put the few dishes in the dishwasher and folded up the blankets that I used for sleeping on the couch when I didn’t feel like being alone in our bed. Other than that, it wasn’t too bad.

  Looking around, I wasn’t sure what to do with my time. She’d be bringing home a baby, our baby. Shit! This place wasn’t childproofed at all. Running around, I picked up anything sharp or breakable and tossed them into a box to put in the garage. While staring at the sharp, pointy corners of the coffee table, I heard the doorbell ring.

 

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