Regretfully

by Leighton Riley

  I trusted Tristen with all my heart. I hated my nightmares. I just wished I had back those moments that showed our love for each other, and our history. For the past week, after Tristen would fall asleep, I would sneak into various rooms of the house in an attempt to encourage another flashback. They were so random and sometimes the most ordinary of items would help me.

  Seeing his toothbrush reminded me of the time that I seduced him while he was trying to get ready for the day.

  “Babe, I’m going to be late! Seeing you up on that countertop with that silk nightie isn’t helping either. Your tits look awesome in it, by the way,” he quickly said as he put the toothpaste onto the bristles.

  “How ‘bout now?” I spread my legs just a little wider so he could see that I was wearing nothing underneath.

  “Fuck. Cami, that’s not fair! You know the Kensington kids are always early and their mom chastises me when I get there even a minute late, but fuck!” He brushed his teeth with lightning speed and ran into the closet to grab his clothes and threw them on the floor next to us. Pulling me to the edge of the counter, he dropped his towel and found my slick entrance with his fingers.

  “What do you want, Cami?” He slid the tip of his dick up and down my wetness, kissing my neck.

  “Inside. You inside me, baby.” I couldn’t hide the lust in my voice. Grabbing his neck with one hand and his hip with the other, I pulled him closer.

  In one quick motion, he filled me completely, and I gasped in pleasure. He felt amazing inside me, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before the waves of pleasure began.

  “I love you so much, angel. You were made for me,” Tristen confessed as he filled me over and over again. His heavy breathing and small grunts were so sexy.

  It wasn’t long before his rhythm and breathing picked up. He brought two fingers down between us, and at the feel of the pressure against my clit, I was done. My walls clenched his cock as he came inside me. Laying his forehead on my shoulder, he replied, “So fucking amazing. And completely worth it.”

  He was right, though. I needed to stop concentrating so much on the past and live in the moment. I was excited to create new memories with my family and was grateful to have them. If you would have asked me last month how I saw myself in a year, I would have told you I’d be a single mother with the most wonderful son in the world. I knew Zander wasn’t right for me, but I needed to get my bearings before leaving him.

  The problem with my injury was that I didn’t know what work I’d be qualified for. I loved kids, but I couldn’t do the daycare thing like Aria did. Tristen said I had just finished my degree in Child Psychology, but I couldn’t remember it all. How could I apply for a psychology position while I was so messed up in the head? It didn’t feel right to me.

  I began writing down my flashbacks, ideas I remembered, and other thoughts in a journal. I found that it was helpful to be able to come back and read them later. It was nice to have solid evidence of my memories and something I could rely on.

  When Tristen wasn’t at the surf shop, he was always with Jagger or me. He loved playing catch up and didn’t want to miss a moment. I would often sit on the couch, writing down ideas while watching them play on the floor together. Jagger loved building blocks and dinosaurs like nobody’s business.

  Seeing them laugh and play together brought a smile to my face every day. Tristen had taken on the father role perfectly, and I couldn’t have asked for a better person to spend my days with.

  “Momma, ‘mere!” Jagger called me from the carpet. I set my journal down and slid onto my belly so I was eye-level with their fun.

  “Whatcha up to, lil’ man?” I mussed up his hair, and he giggled to the point of losing his balance.

  “Pwayin wit Dada. Momma pway too!” He held out a purple dinosaur with wings and waited for me it to do something with my hands.

  “You have the Mommy and I have the baby, see?” Tristen held up a smaller version of my dinosaur and gently flew it over next to mine.

  “I do see! Which one do you have, Jagger?” Looking in front of him, I saw four random dinosaurs, and he kept switching between them.

  “Fwends.” He never took his attention off his own, captivated by his own game. Tristen’s dinosaur started snuggling with mine and when I looked up; I saw a glint of desire in his eyes. I hadn’t been sure if Tristen still felt that way, but the way he was looking at me right now left no doubt.

  Looking down at my phone, I made my next move.

  “Baby, it’s naptime. Can you help clean up your toys and you can pick who puts you to bed. Deal?” I sat up and couldn’t help but snicker at the knowing look Tristen gave me.

  “Dada bed?” Jagger crawled into Tristen’s lap, calling dibs on who he wanted. Jagger giving Tristen his approval meant the world to me.

  “Of course, buddy. Let’s put these dinos to bed, too, huh? Here’s the box, can you put them night, night?” Tristen held the box close and watched as his son picked up the toys one by one.

  “Alright now, give kisses to Momma, and I’ll get you a bottle ready.” Tristen quietly stood and walked into the kitchen. While I had a minute, I had a quick talk with Jagger. Pulling him onto my lap, I began playing with his dirty blond hair.

  “Hey baby, you know what we’re going to do tomorrow?” I waited for his head to peek up in curiosity. “We get to go pick out new cups for night, night time. You get to pick them out, baby, all by yourself. How’s that sound?” I had been trying unsuccessfully to go ‘bottle free’, but nights and naps were still hard. He didn’t want his sippy cup that he used during the day at bed.

  “Dada go, too?” he asked as he played with the buttons on my shirt.

  “Sure, we’ll wait and go with him, too.”

  “‘Kay,” he said simply. Hopefully it would all work out as planned. Tristen was aware of the situation, but I doubt he realized the crying and wailing that it might entail during the first few nights.

  It only took Tristen a few minutes to put Jagger to bed and another minute to find me, in our bedroom.

  “Are you, uhh, tired?” He scratched his head and moved a few steps closer. I was sitting cross-legged in the nightie that was similar to the one in my flashback, only this was a deep red with black lace.

  “Not quite. Do you like it?” I hadn’t felt sexy since Jagger was born. I had a few small stretch marks from pregnancy and my ugly scars all up my right side. I wasn’t sure where Tristen’s head was at with us.

  He took his shirt off but left his jeans on. Moving next to me but propped up on an elbow, he began rubbing my arm gently. I melted into his body. I craved his touch.

  “Cami, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. Your striking blue eyes, button nose, contagious smile, and sincerity are what I thought about every day while you were gone. You don’t have to be shy or hide from me.” He lifted up and kissed my neck in a few spots.

  His lips were so soft yet determined. A quiet moan escaped before I even realized it.

  “Oh, Tristen. I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure if you wanted me still. You haven’t exactly come on to me these past few weeks. I thought there was something wrong.” I looked down and realized my arms were in a defensive position around my waist. Slowly, I brought them down and forced myself to think about what he said. I’m beautiful.

  “I’ve been sporting a hard on for those weeks, babe. I’ve wanted to give you time to adjust and not feel pressured. Not having you for all those months and all of a sudden having you back in our home, in our bed, it’s been the hardest thing not to take you every time I lay my eyes on you.” He held my hand and brought it down to his jeans.

  “Oh!”

  “Yeah, exactly,” he said, laughing. “I wanted us to be normal again but felt like a jackass wondering how long I needed to wait before I could have you with me again.”

  “That makes me feel better.” I turned so I was laying down facing him. “I might have had a few naughty dreams about you. I woke up the other nigh
t all worked up, but you were sound asleep. I just wasn’t sure if, you know, you wanted to be with me,” I said shyly, my cheeks reddening at my admission.

  “Baby girl, you can always wake me for that.” His hand found the bottom of the material and slid inside and caressed my stomach. “Fuck, I love you so much, Cami.” He positioned himself over me a little more and took control.

  His hot, large hand worked its way up until it found my pebbled nipples, giving each of them equal attention. “Take this off, baby.” He pulled at my nightie, and I hesitated a moment before pulling it over my head.

  I had the urge to cover myself, but the moment he saw my hands move to shield myself, he tsked at me. “Don’t hide, Cami. I love your beautiful tanned skin, so silky smooth and attuned to my touch. Please, never hide yourself from me, be it your body or your thoughts. I’m here for you, with you.” He began trailing kissing down my neck, using his hand to caress my breasts before moving to my stomach. “I can’t get enough of you. Every moment I’m away from you now, I wonder what you and Jagger are up to. I don’t want to miss anything else. But this? This is where I want to be right now.” He motioned to the bed beneath us.

  His lips worked their way lower until he was kissing my thighs. Wishing and praying for him to move a little more to the center, I let go and gave in to the euphoric feeling of having him worship my body.

  “That feels amazing, babe. I, I wish I remembered these times with you. I mean, how could I ever forget this feeling?” I blurted out without much thought.

  His arm went up and cupped my breasts, tweaking my nipples while his face stayed lower. “I don’t mind reminding you, over and over again.” He chuckled from below and his breath was close to my wet core.

  “I’m sure you don’t. Can you please, um?” I wasn’t sure how to ask. With Zander, I had avoided being intimate with him the last few months and even before that, I was never on the receiving end and never wanted to ask for it from him.

  “Tell me what you want, Cami.” He propped himself up on his elbow so he could see me better.

  Covering my face with my hands in humiliation, I went for it. “Can you lick me? Or touch me?” I hoped that was enough.

  “Where would you like me to lick, sweet girl? And touch with what?” His smirk was wide. Fucker knew what he was doing.

  “Are you really going to make me say it?” I bit my lip, hoping he’d give me what I wanted without me spelling it out for him.

  “Mhmm. You used to be so brazen in the bedroom, telling me exactly what you wanted and what felt good. I think she’s secretly still in there somewhere, I’m just trying to get her to come and play.”

  Sitting up slightly, I asked, “I was? So you remember what I like? How about you just do that then?” I grinned, hoping this would be my solution. He was there when we used to, you know, so he should still remember.

  “Nu, uhh. You don’t get off that easily.” He brought his lips to my belly button. “Here?” After I shook my head, he moved down to my knee. “Here?”

  “Nope,” I told him, unable to hold in my giggles. “Holy hell, Tristen! Lick my pussy, and umm, use your fingers, too, while you’re at it.” I fell back onto my back and waited.

  And waited.

  After what felt like hours, I looked down and saw he was staring at the door.

  “What are you doing, Tristen?”

  “I think I heard something.” He got off the bed and tiptoed over to the door.

  “He talks in his crib, babbles to keep himself entertained,” I say in frustration.

  “Two minutes, I’ll be right back and finish what we started.” And with that, he was gone.

  I laid waiting, thinking about how close we were and how easily it had vanished. I contemplated changing back into normal clothes but held out hope that we would get to continue.

  “He lost his bear-bear. It had fallen behind his crib, and he was trying to reach for it. All is good now, baby. Where were we?” Unbuttoning his pants, he tossed them aside and settled between my thighs.

  It’d been eighteen months since I’d felt his strong body above mine, his arms enveloping me, his tender lips brushing against my soft skin, and the control he had right now was overwhelming.

  He spread my lower lips apart and gently licked my clit, causing me to moan softly. It had been so long since someone had paid this much attention to my needs and made me feel wanted and desired. His expert touch found the perfect spot to stimulate my arousal and that, paired with the flicking of his tongue, made for an exquisite eruption of pleasure.

  Every time I got close to climaxing, he slowed his movements and began the process over again. His fingers were magical and knew exactly what turned me on. I was so hot for Tristen, and he was just getting started. Grasping the sheets, I tried to stifle my moans as I was brought back to the cusp of coming so that I could finally find my release, but he knew my body too well.

  “How bad do you want it?” he asked as he switched so his fingers were on my clit and his tongue began spearing into me.

  “Please, I need the release,” I whimpered as I felt him pick up the pace, delivering a rush of pleasure throughout my body as he quickly brought me to the edge and let me fall. My eyes closed, and I moaned his name loudly, letting the high take over, and riding it out.

  “Mmm, thata girl.” Tristen lifted his fingers and sucked each one dry. “I missed this. I missed being with you.” He slid up and settled his hips against my own.

  After a few more deep breaths, I opened my eyes and was met with his gorgeous face before me. His vivid green eyes were filled with love and passion, and his smirk made me want to flip him on his back and take control. He knew just how amazing he made me feel. I needed to return the favor.

  Wrapping my legs around his naked body, I pulled him closer to me and ground myself against his raging hard on. Sliding between my folds, he was so close to being inside me, but the way his eyes closed at the feeling, it gave me the feeling of being in control. Shifting and lifting higher, I gasped in pleasure when he entered my slick pussy.

  “Oh fuck, baby.” He stilled inside me once he had plunged inside. “I need a minute.”

  Looking up, I could see the struggle across his face. I wasn’t sure why?

  “You’re my home, Cami. I’ve missed being with you for so long. Your warmth being around me is almost too much. Fuck, you’re tight. Baby, I love you so much.” He moved his lips down and gave me a long, passion-filled kiss as his hips began to piston inside me. His long length and rigid cock filled me in the best way possible, and I could feel another orgasm forming.

  “I love you, too, Tristen. So, so much.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and let myself enjoy the moment. Hearing his deep, steady breathing and low groans as he pounded into me was such a turn on.

  Flipping me over, he allowed me to climb on top of him and slowly slide down his hard dick. “Mmm, yeah baby, just like that.” He lent me his hands to keep my bearings as I began riding him. Starting slow and picking up the pace randomly was driving him crazy. Gyrating my hips ever so slightly when I was sitting all the way against him was his kryptonite, though.

  “Fuck, Cami. You gotta keep moving or I’m going to come.” Smirking at the power that I had, I inched up and fell back down, hitting the perfect spot inside me.

  His hands moved to my hips, and he lifted me up onto my knees. He took over and began fucking me senselessly, using the sheets to keep traction as he lifted himself into me over and over.

  I couldn’t hold back. The feeling was too strong and knowing he was right there with me was all I needed. I saw stars as I came hard with him inside me, still plunging as he found his own release.

  We laid like that for what felt like hours, caressing each other’s glistening skin and talking about our love and devotion to the other.

  Falling asleep that night, I had no nightmares, only dreams of what the future would hold.

  As I pulled into our driveway, I noticed an unfamiliar lifted black truck
parked by the curb. Curious as to who was over at my house, I grabbed my wallet and phone and headed inside. Before I even got the front door open, I could hear the yelling.

  I should have known he wouldn’t let her off the hook that easily. It was just wishful thinking.

  Seeing Zander standing in the doorway between the entry and family room, I saw red. I didn’t know that he had posted bail. His body was rigid and tight. Cami was standing in front of the hallway that led to the back rooms, trembling with tears falling.

  “I won’t leave with you, Zander! You tricked me when I had no one else to trust. You’re sick, and I can’t stand to look at you anymore,” Cami called out through her crying.

  “Bullshit. You know you’re meant to be with me. I was the one who was there for you when you needed someone; I cared for you and Jagger. You’re my family, angel. Now, come home, and we’ll talk this through.” Zander took a few steps closer to her, and I had had enough.

  “Not another step, man. You need to leave. She’s been through enough hurt and manipulation because of you. Luckily, she’s realized how worthless you truly are. Did you not learn your lesson the other day?” He apparently hadn’t heard me come in because as soon as he heard my voice, he whipped around in a state of mad confusion.

  “Well, if it isn’t her protector. Where were you that day on the beach, bro? She was mine first, and she still belongs to me. She was screaming my name the night before she left. How long did she wait before giving it up to you? Huh?” he cackled, thinking he was in charge of this conversation.

  “She doesn’t belong to anyone, you motherfucker. She isn’t a piece of property, and I haven’t even begun to rip into you for pretending to be my son’s father. You really never thought she’d remember? I guess you don’t know her after all.”

  “She should have been carrying my kid, you fucker! My plan may not have been perfect, but she was who I wanted, who I deserved to be with.” He came at me and threw a weak punch at my gut before I had time to protect myself.