If I Can't Have You

by Dawn Jiles

  “I’ll tell her!” I shouted.

  He stopped dead in his tracks and then turned around and rushed me. He grabbed me by my neck and pushed me against the wall. “Listen, bitch. If you ever tell my girl anything, I will whup your ass. Play with me if you want,” he said, gripping my neck a little tighter. He watched as fresh hot tears streamed down my face. He let me go, and I hit the floor. He looked at me one last time before he entered the bathroom. “Crazy bitch,” I heard him mumble.

  I hurriedly stood up and got myself together. I walked back to the crew and tried to act as normal as possible.

  For the rest of the night, Corey and I avoided each other. I would sneak glances at Corey and Mo, and it made me super angry. I started hating a girl who had been my best friend for years.

  While I sat on a bench, sulking and waiting my turn to bowl, Bria walked over to me. “Hey, friend. What’s wrong with you?” she asked.

  “Oh, nothing. I was just thinking,” I said.

  “Well, you look like you’re ready to kill Corey or Mo,” she said, sounding suspicious.

  “Girl, please. Why would I be mad at them? I’m fine. I was just thinking about Eric’s crazy ass,” I lied.

  “Oh, okay. Well, try to have fun, friend. I know you don’t like doing this type of stuff,” she said before she walked back over by David.

  If Corey thought I was going to sit back and let him be with her ass, he had another thing coming.

  Bria

  Sam had been acting very strange lately, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe dealing with all these different men was starting to get to her. I was so happy that Mo had ended up getting the man she had been in love with since the ninth grade. I knew one thing. He had better treat her right, or I was going to kick his ass.

  David’s parents were out of town, so I was going to spend the weekend with him. I told my parents that I would be over at Sam’s. Her mom was never at home, so I wasn’t worried about them catching me in a lie. I packed my overnight bag and waited for David to pick me up. I decided to watch some videos in the meantime to get ready for what I had planned for David tonight. I planned on taking our lovemaking to another level.

  I heard David’s horn, and I ran out to his car. We made a few stops for food and drinks before we went to his house. We finally made it to his place around nine in the evening. I immediately went to the bathroom so I could change into something sexier. I showered and put lotion on my body, using Twilight Woods from Bath & Body Works. I put on a fire-red matching lace bra and boy short set with some red heels that I had purchased at Aldo.

  I stepped out of the bathroom and headed to his bedroom. He had his back to me when I walked in, so I coughed to get his attention. He flopped on his back, and he had to adjust his hardening erection.

  “Take off your clothes,” I told him, and he did as he was told.

  I walked over to him, and I asked him to stand up. I French-kissed him and then slid to my knees. I was super nervous, because I had never done what I was about to do. I planted slow kisses up and down his shaft, and then I added a little tongue to the mix. I slowly took him into my mouth and began to relax my throat. I went farther, and I began to gag, but once I got the hang of it, I went all the way down before I picked up my pace. I looked up at him, and his eyes looked as though they were in the back of his head. I took both of my hands and moved them up and down while twisting them at the same time. I sucked on the tip of his head while using my hands for his shaft.

  He suddenly picked me up and tossed me on my back on the bed. He kissed my lips and then trailed off to my breasts and eventually to my honeypot. He stuck his finger inside my hole while French-kissing my clit. He flicked his tongue against my clit, bringing me to an explosive orgasm. He swallowed all my juices as they flowed out of my honeypot. He flipped me over and told me to get on all fours. He entered me from behind and began to drill my pussy. He took his thumb and massaged my clit. I began to cum long and hard, and he was right behind me. He released his seed deep inside of me. He collapsed on top of me, and he just lay there for a while. He rolled off me and took me in his arms.

  “Where did you learn to do that at?” he asked me happily.

  “I’ll never tell my secret,” I said, laughing.

  “Well, in that case, let’s start on round two,” he said while lifting my leg and entering me from the side.

  We made love all night, and I never wanted it to end.

  * * *

  I met up with my girls at the mall so that we could get our outfits for the party that was coming up this weekend. “So, how are things with you and Corey?” I asked Mo.

  “Things are good. We are together all the time. I know y’all probably think it’s too early for me to say this, but I think I love him,” Mo said, cheesing.

  Sam frowned up and got an attitude. “You don’t love his ass, and I wouldn’t go falling for someone who I’m not sure feels the same way,” she said with an attitude.

  “Sam, that is rude. Who’s to say that he doesn’t love her already? Mo, you’re not wrong for how you feel. The heart wants what it wants,” I said. Something definitely wasn’t right with Sam. I bet something went down with her and Corey. The night we went bowling, I had noticed that they were both gone for, like, five or ten minutes, and when Sam came back, she looked like she had been crying.

  “I’m just saying it’s not a good idea,” Sam said.

  If looks could kill, Sam’s ass would be dead, because I definitely gave her the look of death. “Let’s just change the subject,” I suggested.

  “My boo and I have been getting it in something serious. I finally gave him some head, and he loved it,” I bragged.

  “I want to try it out, but I’m really scared, y’all. I want to make sure we feel the same way before we go to that level,” Mo said.

  “I think I’m about to drop Eric’s ass and find me a new suitor,” Sam said.

  “How about being faithful to your boyfriend? Do you remember him? His name is Kevin,” I said to Sam.

  “I love Kevin, but he just don’t know how to please me, and Eric’s ass is getting too demanding,” Sam said.

  I refused to even respond, because she was never going to change. We found our outfits and left the mall. We went our separate ways, and I headed home. On the drive there, I went back over our conversation. Sam was definitely hiding something, and I promised myself that I would find out what it was.

  Sam

  That bitch, Monique, was pissin’ me the hell off! When she said she wanted to have sex with Corey, I nearly lost my damn mind. I wanted to haul off and slap her ass, but I knew I needed to play smart. I had called things off for good with Eric because he was doing too much. He didn’t know how to play his role, and although I loved when he was going crazy over me, I couldn’t have that going on while I was trying to destroy Mo and Corey’s relationship. Kevin and I had been doing okay. We hadn’t been having much sex lately, but everything else seemed to be normal.

  I started getting dressed for the party. I was on a mission to get my man tonight. I put on a white mesh cutout short-sleeved minidress. It hugged every inch of my body very well. I threw on some white Prada heels to match. My hair was perfectly curled, and I wore some Chanel diamond stud earrings.

  I got in my car and headed to the party. When I arrived, I spotted Bria and Monique right away. I swished my ass over to them to see what was up. “Hey, bitches!” I greeted them.

  Monique was looking hella good. She wore a black mesh cut-up pencil skirt with a matching crop top. She wore some red six-inch heels with matching red lipstick. I felt jealous as hell. I could see why Corey would want her, but I didn’t think she looked better than me. I danced a little with my girls, but then I decided to find what I had come here for.

  I found Corey in the kitchen, talking to David. I walked up to him and asked if I could speak with him in private. He looked like he was unsure about it, but I gave him this look that said, “Nigga, if you don’t come w
ith me, I’ll act up right here.” I would never do it, but I wanted him to think that. We walked into this room that was in the back of the mansion where the party was being held.

  “What in the hell do you want, Sam?” he asked, visibly irritated.

  “Aw, don’t be like that, baby. You know what I want. I want you,” I said.

  “See, you’re on some bullshit. I’m not feeling this shit at all. Why can’t you just let a nigga be?” he replied.

  “I love you, Corey, and I want us to be together,” I said, walking up on him again.

  “Sam, that will never happen. What part of that don’t you understand?” he said.

  “You mean to tell me that you don’t miss me?” I asked.

  “I love my girl, and she is the only woman I want. I will never be with you. You’re not anyone I could take home to my mama. All you were good for was a friendly fuck, and that’s it. So if you didn’t get it the first twenty times I told your silly ass, I do not want you! Now leave me the hell alone!” he screamed.

  I wanted to cry, but I held back my tears. I grabbed at his pants, but he cut me off. He pushed me against the wall, and then he grabbed my hair. He turned me around so that my ass was touching his big dick. He bent me over, pulled up my dress, and ripped off my thong. I heard him unbuckling his pants and pulling down his boxers. My pussy was so wet. He rubbed his dick against my wet clit, and I almost came right then and there.

  “Is this what you want? You want Daddy’s dick, huh? You want me to stick this big dick deep inside of you?” he said.

  “Yes, Daddy, that’s exactly what I want,” I moaned. All of a sudden, he smashed my face against the wall. My head was hurting so bad.

  “Listen, you dirty little whore. I will never stick my dick inside of you again. This dick here belongs to Monique. I won’t even let your ass taste it,” he spat. “Now, stay the fuck away from me and my girl, or else I’m going to kill yo’ ass. Now, do I make myself clear?” he said, smashing my face harder into the wall.

  I shook my head rapidly, and he released his hold on me. I fell to the floor, crying hysterically.

  He bent down and whispered in my ear, “That wasn’t a threat. It was a fucking promise.” He stood up and spat on me. He fixed his clothes and walked out the door.

  I cried for what seemed like hours before I stood and fixed myself up. I walked out of the room and entered the party. I saw Mo and Corey hugging and kissing in the corner, by a fireplace. I walked out the front door quickly. You would think that after what he just did to me, I would want nothing else to do with him, but I refused to let him be happy with my best friend. If I couldn’t have him, no one else would!

  Chapter Five

  Corey

  I didn’t know what in the hell was wrong with Sam’s ass, but she’d got me fucked all the way up. She was absolutely not getting the picture. I had told her over and over again that we would never be together, but she refused to listen to me. She would text me all day and night, sending me naked pictures. This ho went as far as sending me videos of her playing with herself. I had just recently changed my number. I told Monique that I had changed it because I switched phone companies. It was the weekend, and Mo and I were just coming back from Six Flags Great America. She had decided to spend the night at my house.

  My parents were filthy rich, so I didn’t want for anything. We had this big-ass house in River Hills. When I’d turned eighteen, my parents moved me into our guesthouse, so I had plenty of privacy. Mo had told her parents that she was spending the weekend with her girlfriends. Once we made it to my house, we got comfortable and watched some movies. She fell asleep on my chest, and she looked so beautiful. I knew right then and there that I could not allow Sam to destroy my relationship. I would have that bitch murdered. My pops was one of the biggest drug dealers in the Milwaukee and Chicago areas. He had retired from the game, but he still had those connections. If that bitch kept fucking with me, I’d definitely be making that call.

  Kevin

  I really couldn’t wait until I got rid of Sam. This was a horrible relationship. I was no longer happy with her, and I hadn’t been for a long time. A part of me wished that we were able to fix things and get back to where we used to be, but I knew that could never happen. For starters, I couldn’t get over the fact that she had slept with my best friend. Eric and I had been friends since birth. Our pops were best friends, and we were always together. Another reason that it would’t work was that I couldn’t trust her. I had heard the rumors about her sleeping around, but I hadn’t wanted to believe that they were true at the time. So I knew things would never work out between us for those reasons.

  I decided to head to the mall to get some gifts for my mother’s birthday. She loved Chanel everything, so I decided to get her some perfume, a purse, and some shoes. I didn’t need to be spending that much money, because my mom was suspicious of where I got my money. My dad sent me money every month, but I really made my money by selling heroin. If my mom or pops found out, they would kill me. My pops was a drug dealer, but he didn’t want me following in his footsteps. Mom deserves what I was about to get her because she worked hard. My mom owned several McDonald’s franchises, and she had gone back to school to get her master’s degree in business. I really didn’t need to be selling heroin, because both of my parents had money. But I just refused to depend on them. I wanted to make my own way.

  I headed to Macy’s so that I could get my mom’s gifts. I got everything I needed and headed to the registers. I got the attention of the woman behind the counter, and when she turned to face me, I was greeted with the prettiest smile I had ever seen. This woman was beautiful. She was about five-two and had smooth dark chocolate skin. She had small breasts that led down to her flat tummy, small waist, and big hips. She had a nice-sized ass too. I normally didn’t go for dark-skinned chicks, but I had to have her; she was so beautiful.

  “Is this everything, sir?” she asked, showing her pretty white teeth.

  I shook my head yes because I was totally speechless. She rang me up and placed all the items in gift bags.

  “Thanks for shopping at Macy’s. Have a beautiful day,” she said.

  I stood there, looking at her, and my eyes traced her entire body.

  “Can I get you anything else, sir?” she asked sarcastically. She knew that I wanted her, and I could tell by her body language and how she kept smiling at me that she wanted a nigga too.

  “What’s your name?” I asked.

  “Zaria, but everyone calls me Zoe,” she said.

  “Zoe, I’m Kevin. You should let me take you out sometime,” I suggested.

  “I would take you up on that offer, but I just got out of something serious. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to just hop right into something else,” she said, sounding somewhat sad.

  “Well, how about this? You take down my number, and call me when you’re ready,” I said.

  She put my number in her phone, and I walked out of the store. I’d give her two days, and I bet she would be hitting a nigga up.

  * * *

  It was the day of my mom’s party, and the house was super packed with friends and family. David and Bria were here, because his mom and my mom were good friends. Sam’s annoying ass was here too. We were standing in the sunroom, talking, when my phone began to ring. I look at my caller ID, but I didn’t recognize the number. I thought it was one of my customers, so I answered the phone.

  “What’s up? Who is this?” I said into the phone.

  “Hello. May I speak to Kevin, please?” said the sweetest voice I had ever heard.

  “This is Kevin. Can you hold on for a second?” I said. I excused myself and went to my room so that I could talk in private. “Hey, I’m back,” I said to her.

  “I was calling because I decided to take you up on your offer,” she said, sounding sexy as hell.

  We set up a date and ended our call. I couldn’t wait until I saw her. I walked back into the party, smiling hard as hell.

/>   “Who was that on the phone, and why are you smiling so damn hard?” Sam questioned.

  “It’s none of your damn business. And a nigga can’t smile?” I said, ready to kick her ass to the curb already. It looked like I was going to be getting rid of her ass sooner than I had originally thought, and Zoe would be taking her place.

  Monique

  My life seemed to be coming together. Corey and I were doing great. We spent so much of our time together. Today he was coming over to meet my parents, and I was sort of nervous. I had never brought a boy over, so I didn’t know how they were going to receive him. My mom was in the kitchen, whipping up a good meal, and dad was in the living room, watching TV.

  Corey had just texted me and had told me that he was outside. I looked at myself in the mirror one last time and headed for the front door. I opened the door, and my handsome, sexy man was standing there, looking good enough to eat. I gave him a hug, but I was scared to kiss him.

  He came in, and I introduced him to my parents. He and my dad sat down and talked while Mom and I finished up the food. Then we sat and ate dinner, and everything went well. My parents ended up loving Corey just like I did. When dinner was over, Corey and I talked in the living room until it was getting late and it was time to send off my sexy face. I walked him to the car because I refused to let him leave without getting a kiss.

  * * *

  The next day I met up with Sam and Bria so we could have some girl time.

  “So what’s been going on, bitches?” Sam asked.

  “Well, Corey met my parents yesterday, and they loved him,” I said excitedly.

  “That’s great,” Bria said.

  Sam acted like she was mad that he had met my parents or something. I ignored her attitude and kept talking. “He wants to take me out on his dad’s yacht. He plans to introduce me to his parents then,” I said.

  “Why the rush? Y’all haven’t even been together that long. Who knows if y’all are going to last?” Sam said.