“I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, lady, no siree, but you have so much to live for, so much of this world to see!” His tone is upbeat, and as I look at him, that dimpled smile is back.
And shit it’s infectious. I can’t help but smile back, despite the heartbreak inside.
“I need to know…”
“Know what? If Dennis is telling the truth?” he asks.
I simply nod, thinking of ways I can get the truth.
“I need to speak to Jocelyn. I know she can get me the answers. She’s the only person I can trust,” I blurt out, frantically searching my purse for my cell phone. I find it and begin typing a text to Jocelyn.
Kennedy: I need to speak to you later. Will you be at home? I desperately need your help.
I rest the phone on my lap, waiting for a response, but I’m not sure how quickly she will message back. I sit there in silence, willing for the phone to vibrate, hoping she has seen my text and will reply soon.
“Honestly, Ken, I’m fucking certain that this is just another one his fucked up mind games. Don’t let the creep get under your skin.”
“I dunno, Pete. Too much of what he said felt familiar to me. I think he’s telling the truth.”
I shoot him a sad smile, the anxiety eating away at my insides. My stomach feels like it’s doing a thousand fucking summersaults and all I can do is sit and wait for her reply. I look at Pete sitting there. He looks hopeless, like he doesn’t know what to say or do. I feel guilty that I’ve burdened my shit on him.
I feel the sudden vibration of the phone I’m clutching in my hands. Despite the shaking of my whole body, I quickly unlock the screen to check the message.
Jocelyn: What’s wrong? Are you okay? Kennedy, please tell me you are okay? Why aren’t you in class? I would call, but if you’re in class, I don’t want you to get in trouble. I will be here when you get home, unless you need me now?
I let out a sad sigh, quickly tapping out a reply to Jocelyn. I can tell she’s stressing about me, and that was my last intention.
Kennedy: Please don’t worry. I’m okay, but I do need your help. Talk later.
Now all I needed to do is avoid any more contact with Dennis and make it until the end of the day.
I stand up, dragging with me my bag. “Let’s get to class.” I offer my hand to help him up.
“Are you sure?” he asks, a look of concern across his face.
“I just need to make it through the day,” I whisper, nodding my head toward the direction of the school.
I stalk back toward the entrance, wiping any traces of my tears and emotion from my face. I have to push this from my mind, at least until the end of the day.
“I need to tell Cole. He needs to know what Dennis told me.”
“Agreed.” He smiles. “But you know what a fucking hot head Cole is!”
“Hmm, that’s what I’m worried about. I’ll have to speak to him at break, get him on his own. Let’s just hope Dennis doesn’t get to him first.”
My heart plummets and I swallow down hard, thinking back to the conversation he walked in on. I know he’ll use this to cause even more shit between me and Cole, as if his revelation wasn’t enough.
Pete gently grabs my arm, pulling me to a stop. I turn until we are face to face and look at him.
“What are we going to say if Cole asks us about what Dennis overheard?”
My eyes shift nervously. Shit, I don’t know what to say. I didn’t want to lie but I also can’t risk losing him. “I need him, Pete.”
He shoves his hands in his pocket, his feet kicking loose bits of gravel on the ground. “I know,” he answers simply. “So do we deny it, do we lie to him, or do we come clean?”
“Damn, you make this sound so seedy, Pete. You know he won’t understand. The last thing I want to do is lie to him, but I can’t risk losing him either.”
“I get it. I mean, I don’t like it, but I get it.”
I take in the resolute look on his face like I just ripped a little part of his heart out.
“I need him, Pete, but I also need you.”
His eyes widen and his stance changes. I suddenly realize what I’ve said and how it must sound. Fuck, I don’t know how to express myself sometimes. I’m pretty sure that’s how we got to this point in the first place.
I wave my hand in front of him. “No, no, not like that, Pete. I mean, I need you as a friend. Just as much as I need Cole in my life, I need you too.” His over excited expression drops to one of a normal smile and he nods.
“I’ll always be here, Ken. Always. Even if that means we’re just friends.”
Cole
I pull out my phone, sneaking it under the school desk to check my texts.
The message is from Kennedy, asking me to meet her at the lockers on break. I quickly tap a text back, letting her know I’ll be there. I check the time and there’s little over five minutes left of class, and fuck, I’ll be glad to get out of here. Dennis, the prick, burst into class ten minutes late and has done nothing but stare at me the whole time. I’m trying so hard not to jump out of my fucking seat and lay the bastard flat on his back after everything he’s done to her.
But shit, I have enough going on right now. The last thing I need is more trouble with that fucking douche. Feeling his eyes burning into my head, I turn in his direction, only to meet his angry stare. I glance away quickly, not wanting to enter into this shit. The last time I let the bastard get under my skin, I lost it and did something that I’ll have to live with for the rest of my goddamn life. I wasn’t going there again, no fucking way.
I pull the pen out of my mouth, not realizing I had chewed the fuck out of it. I sigh to myself, dropping it on the desk. I reach my intertwined fingers out in front of me, the crunch of my knuckles clicking a release to my tense hands.
As soon as the bells rings, I’m up and shoving all my shit in my backpack, to race out of the door. I walk fast, not quite a jog, but just as fast as my legs will take me until I get to the locker. I crane my neck as I approach, hoping Ken will already be there.
She is. The mere sight of her is enough to make my heart beat a bit faster. I slow my pace, pushing back my shoulders, trying not to look like the lamest love sick fucking puppy you’ve ever seen, despite the fact that’s exactly how I feel.
Her head turns toward my direction. Her eyes light up at the sight of me. As I get close, she reaches her hand out toward me, and I do the only thing I can. I take it in mine. Our fingers lock together, they fit just fucking perfect, like two pieces of a jigsaw.
“Hey, baby.” I can’t help but pull her to me, my body pressing against hers as my eyes fixate on that beautiful, heart swelling smile she always gives me.
“Hey,” she answers, quickly stepping on to her tiptoes, placing a kiss on my lips. I close my eyes, wanting to deepen the kiss, needing to taste her. Before I get the chance she pulls back. I narrow my brows in confusion, trying to understand why she’s resistant.
“We need to talk, honey,” she says sweetly. “Let’s find somewhere private to talk.” She pulls on my hand, leading me toward the sports block. The hall is completely empty during break time.
“What’s wrong?” I blurt out. I need to know what this is all about. There’s a freaky calm about her, despite her breathing being all over the place. Her chest rises fiercely as she takes in a sharp breath.
“Okay, so today I had a run in with Dennis.”
My eyes widen at the mention of that bastard’s name. Before I get a chance to say anything, her voice bellows a little, making sure she doesn’t give me even a second to rage about it.
“But, I’m okay.”
I glare at her, my nostrils flaring as I feel the intense anger rising inside.
“I was with Pete,” she continues, “on our way to class and he did his usually trouble stirring ramble…”
“And?” I bellow, a little louder than I intended, but I’m annoyed at the pure notion of him fucking talking to Kennedy. That basta
rd is treading a very thin fucking line.
“Well, he kinda admitted why he hates me so much.”
“Hates you? He doesn’t even know you, Kennedy. If he did, there wouldn’t be no way he could possibly hate you.”
“Well,” she pauses momentarily, “he said he was at the commune, Cole. He said he was born there.” Her eyes swell with sadness and I’m fucking gob smacked, like truly stuck for fucking words.
“What? How?” I stutter, my words barely jumbling out of my mouth.
“And that’s not the worst of it,” she chokes back, her head resting against the wall behind her.
“What the fuck? I mean seriously it can’t get any worse.”
“Oh it can!” She inhales sharply. “He told me that Christopher is his real dad.” Her words teeter off, a silent sob struggling to break free.
I wrap my hand around the back of her head, pulling her into me. Her head rests on my shoulder, her body rocking as she lets the tears flow silently.
“Baby, this cannot be true,” I whisper, knowing the implications. Knowing that she’ll have a tie to the sick fucker that laid his hands on her, the guy who has made her life hell. If this turns out to be true, the outcome is barely worth thinking about.
“I don’t know, Cole. I really don’t know, but my gut instinct tells me there’s some truth to it. Too much of what he said…he simply wouldn’t have known unless he’s actually been there.”
“People talk, Kennedy. Rumors spread and you know there are ways of finding things like this out. You know the internet and stuff,” I ramble. Shit, I want to provide her with a substantial explanation that this has to be bullshit, but for now this is all I can muster, and it’s weak at best.
“Hmm, maybe,” she pauses, her eyes locking on mine. “But I need to know for sure, to be one hundred percent certain.”
“Then let’s do it. Let’s find out whether there’s any truth to that bastard’s tales.”
“I’ve already messaged your mom. I’m going to see if she can help me out. If there’s a way to find out, she can do it. For sure.”
“You know my dad is heavily involved in this case. If Christopher is Dennis’ real dad, then he will find out. He can search the records. Together mom and dad will find you the truth, Kennedy. If anyone can, my parents can,” I say, my voice upbeat, trying to reassure her.
She smiles sincerely. Her inner strength knocks the fucking wind out of me once again.
“I will do anything I can to help you find the truth, baby. You know that, right?”
She nods, a sparkle of something in her eye, like there is still some fight left in her.
“We’ll find the truth,” she says positively, before glancing over to the clock on the wall. “I need to find Ash. He’ll be worried about me,” she shrieks in a panic, grabbing my hand and dragging me toward the hall. I shake my head, laughing a little at her erratic behavior.
She searches the halls, looking for Ash. I tug harshly on her arm, bringing her to a total stop. I can tell she’s freaking out and I need to do something. “Kennedy,” I bellow. “Stop.”
She looks at me and the pain in her eyes would be enough to devastate even the most heartless of people. She doesn’t say anything; she doesn’t need to. One look into her dark eyes tells me everything I need to know. I can see the hurt and confusion in her eyes, as if she’s speaking her emotions out loud. I so desperately want to be the one to fix it, but I’m not sure I can do it this time. This motherfucker of a situation is totally out of my control. Fuck, I don’t want it to be true, because if it is, that would mean Dennis and Kennedy’s baby are siblings.
I lean my forehead against hers, wrapping her arms around my body. “Baby, everything will be okay.”
“I just need to find Ash.” She tries to break apart from my hold, but I resist it, holding her tighter.
“Then let’s call or shoot him a text,” I whisper, hoping to calm her down. Ash would have a fucking fit if he saw her in this state. “Let’s go grab a coffee, take five, and give him a call. He’ll understand.”
I feel her head moving against my chest as she nods. She exhales deeply as I take her under my arm and walk toward the lunchroom.
We grab a coffee and I pull out my cell to call Ash, but before I get chance, I hear the shrill of his camp voice. I swing my head to the left and see him approaching with Pete and Jake in tow. I tap her lightly on the arm. She looks and pushes her chair back, jumping up and embracing Ash.
“Oh, Ash,” she cries.
“What? What is it, my little Barbie? What’s wrong?” He looks over to me, his eyes glaring and waiting for an answer.
‘Long story,’ I mouth over to him, not wanting to discuss it here in front of everyone.
“Hey, bro.” Jake pats me on the back before sitting down beside me. “Everything okay?” He nods his head in Kennedy’s direction.
“Hmmm,” I answer, “Not really, man, but not here, yeah? I’ll fill you in later, okay?”
“Sure.” He nods.
“So, any news on Abbey?” I ask, looking over at Ash and Kennedy talking quietly in the corner.
“She’s stable. The best we can hope for at this stage, I guess.”
I rest my arm over his shoulder, giving it a squeeze with my hand. “You know we’re all hoping and praying she makes a full recovery. This place has never been so damn quiet.” I let out a nervous chuckle. This fucking comforting thing doesn’t come easily for me.
“True story, bro,” he says with a flash of a smile.
“All ready for the move on Friday, dude?” Pete blurts over the table, his eyes dancing with excitement. “I seriously cannot wait for the house warming party!”
“We’re not going wild, bro. We don’t want to piss of the neighbors on our first weekend there!” I warn.
This guy was totally out of control sometimes, especially where drink is involved. He has no self-control.
“Well I might have to bring my own fucking entertainment then.” He wiggles his eyebrows and I sigh loudly.
“Bring who you want, man. As long as it stays quiet. I don’t want anything to happen that could spoil Kennedy’s birthday. I want to make this special for her.”
“Oh man! Stop being such a fucking pussy!” He laughs and Jake chuckles a little too.
“What’s wrong, Pete? Jealous?” I ask smugly, knowing he’s never had anything like the sort of relationship I have with Ken. And deep down the guy’s a big softy. I know he’s desperate to find his ‘Miss Right’. He just needs to stop thinking with his goddamn dick.
“Ha! As if, man. I have no shortage of pussy wanting a piece of this.” He gestures with his hand. Jake and I laugh in unison, shaking our heads
“You’re such a dick, Pete.” I laugh loudly, noticing Ash and Kennedy approaching the table. She rests against my side, as I wrap my arm around her thighs, my head resting against her waist. She kisses the top of my head softly. “I’m gonna make my way to class now.” She pushes herself away and looks back over to Ash.
“Ready?” she asks him. He nods in acceptance. “I’ll catch you at lunch, yeah?”
“Of course, baby,” I answer, watching her link arms with Ash and walk out of the lunchroom.
I study her as she leaves my sight, a strange calm about her. I’m not sure whether I should be concerned. I’m snapped from my thoughts by Pete clicking his fingers, leaning over the table to speak to me. I lean into him, waiting for him to say something. I look over his shoulder, checking to his left, then his right before he speaks.
“So, have you seen that fucking prick, Dennis?” he asks with venom oozing through every word. I’m glad he hates Dennis just as much as I do.
“Not since class, but I’m doing everything I can to stop myself from hunting the bastard down and beating his fucking ass!”
“That dude, is fucked up!”
“Ain’t that a fucking understatement?” I huff.
“Some of the shit he was saying to Kennedy was un-fucking-believable.
”
“Thanks for being there, man. I really appreciate it.”
“Don’t mention it,” he rushes out. “Let’s get our asses to calculus. That fucking exam is going to be a killer.”
Kennedy
I never thought I’d make it to the end of the day, but thankfully, I did. I’ve got so much shit to catch up on before the start of summer school. I can’t quite shake the memories of earlier today. Whether there’s any truth to what Dennis said, I don’t know, but I’m desperate to find out the truth.
However devastating. But forewarned is forearmed, right?
The last thing I want is to have someone like him related to my baby. Just when I’ve managed to get away from the one person that threatened her safety.
Christopher.
I shudder at the simple thought of my abuser. I close my eyes and memories flash through my mind of him and some of the things he did to me. I shake my head, clearing the fleeting memories. I look over at Cole, the one person who is nothing like Christopher. They are polar opposites. I grab his hand, desperate to rid my mind of the evil. I kiss the back of his hand and he looks down at me. I can’t help but fall into his beautiful green gaze. His eyes are mesmerizing and his face lightens as his smile spreads. I can tell he’s smiling from his heart.
“What?” he asks, obviously intrigued by my eye gawping.
I shrug. “I dunno. I needed to take my mind off what I was thinking and I kinda know that I can lose myself just by looking in your eyes. It’s like the thunderstorm in my mind disappears when I look into the window of your soul. It takes me to a good place, away from my demons, you know?”
He nods, squeezing my hand tightly. “If I wasn’t driving right now, I would be totally giving you lots of good things to think about.” He winks at me.
I smile, my body tingling in response to his suggestion. The contact between me and Cole has always been an escape for me. A way of feeling. A way of being alive.
And I know after years of abuse this might seem weird, but it’s different, so very different from what I had to endure before. Everything about being with Cole feels right.
Keeping Hope (Broken Girl Series) Page 15